Author's Note
The Wish & I'm Done Hiding
The Wish
rate: 8.5
idea: +
grammar: good
advice: 3
I like that this has a fan girls POV. Most of the stories aren't related to fan girls at all so it's nice to see one every once in a while. I also like that there aren't many characters because sometimes it's hard to keep up with them.
1. I think the intro is a bit slow and repetitive. The first and second chapter are basically the same thing so maybe in future chapters you could combine them.
2. I'd like to know some of Niall's tweets and some of your main characters tweets! What's funny about them? What did he retweet? Eventually we find out but the reader wants to know!
3. The character is 14 but the boys are in their 20s. Maybe you could tell the reader that the boys are younger or that she is older because it isn't very realistic (or legal) for a 20 year old to be with a 14 year old. The story is still building up so many they aren't going to be together...but if they are I would fix up the ages!
I think it has great potential so just keep writing!
I'm Done Hiding
rate: 9
idea: +
grammar: good
advice: 1
Even though I'm not a huge Larry fan I do like this story. I like how this is in the boys POV rather than a fan or another girl.
1. The only suggestion is to make the chapters a little longer because I feel like I was done too quickly! Remember that it's okay to write a long chapter and not update as frequently, rather than have short chapters where we have to keep flipping through.
Overall I like this! Keep going :)
rate: 8.5
idea: +
grammar: good
advice: 3
I like that this has a fan girls POV. Most of the stories aren't related to fan girls at all so it's nice to see one every once in a while. I also like that there aren't many characters because sometimes it's hard to keep up with them.
1. I think the intro is a bit slow and repetitive. The first and second chapter are basically the same thing so maybe in future chapters you could combine them.
2. I'd like to know some of Niall's tweets and some of your main characters tweets! What's funny about them? What did he retweet? Eventually we find out but the reader wants to know!
3. The character is 14 but the boys are in their 20s. Maybe you could tell the reader that the boys are younger or that she is older because it isn't very realistic (or legal) for a 20 year old to be with a 14 year old. The story is still building up so many they aren't going to be together...but if they are I would fix up the ages!
I think it has great potential so just keep writing!
I'm Done Hiding
rate: 9
idea: +
grammar: good
advice: 1
Even though I'm not a huge Larry fan I do like this story. I like how this is in the boys POV rather than a fan or another girl.
1. The only suggestion is to make the chapters a little longer because I feel like I was done too quickly! Remember that it's okay to write a long chapter and not update as frequently, rather than have short chapters where we have to keep flipping through.
Overall I like this! Keep going :)
Can you please review my story just friends
4/16/16