rate: 8
grammar: needs work
idea: =
advice: 2

So I like the idea but it's really hard to read with all of the grammatical errors. Make sure you let the reader know who is talking and there are a lot of spelling mistakes. One thing that bothered me a little bit was when you typed "I gtg..." You should write out everything since it's a story. The plot is good from what I've read. The summary makes me want to read more. I like that you are explaining who each character is so I can picture them and understand their personality. It's okay but look at it over a few times before you submit it!