Author's Note

I went ahead and just combined your two stories...I hope that's okay! Especially since most of my review applies to both of them.

So I loved both of your stories a lot! They were both full of detail and great descriptions of each character and setting. You also write in 3rd person which I find extremely hard to do. It's much easier for writers to write in 1st person but you do a great job with it! Kudos!

The only thing I would look out for is making your stories too similar. They have very different plots but some of the words you use make it seem like Harry is very similar in both stories. Such as using "nameless" and they both girls wear overalls at some point. Just make sure everything is very different and word things differently.

I honestly couldn't find much to critique you on, especially with Aesthetic because you have just started it so far but I have already fallen in love with your characters. One of the great things you have going for Coffee Shop is that even though she kisses him on the cheek early, it doesn't seem to be rushed. Because you add the great amount of detail it makes sense. I didn't find it awkward that she was already at his place or riding with him in his car whereas it could have been very bad. Good job!

You also have some really funny parts in both stories which is great. It's really hard to read stories without some kind of comic relief. I love being able to read and start laughing in the middle.

I honestly think you're on a great path and I'm not really sure why you have a 9.7 on one of them. I would definitely recommend your stories!

Happy Writing!

Notes