Reviews & DUMB Fan-Fic Moments
In a Heartbeat
Rating: 5 or 6
Okay, first of all, the age is WAY to young! I mean, a 15 year-old?
And her 10 year old sister, looks 20 years old to me!
You have good grammar, some punctuation mistakes.
A lot of your chapters are short.
And why exactly would 1D bring a 15 year old girl to a hotel and
not a hospital? Wouldn't fans get suspicious?
Overall thoughts: Fix characters, work on some punctuation, make it more realistic,
and make the chapters longer. Then it would be a great story!
Check out 'In a Heartbeat', here!:
http://www.harrystylesfanfiction.com/Story/4302/In-a-Heartbeat/
Okay, first of all, the age is WAY to young! I mean, a 15 year-old?
And her 10 year old sister, looks 20 years old to me!
You have good grammar, some punctuation mistakes.
A lot of your chapters are short.
And why exactly would 1D bring a 15 year old girl to a hotel and
not a hospital? Wouldn't fans get suspicious?
Overall thoughts: Fix characters, work on some punctuation, make it more realistic,
and make the chapters longer. Then it would be a great story!
Check out 'In a Heartbeat', here!:
http://www.harrystylesfanfiction.com/Story/4302/In-a-Heartbeat/
Notes
If you got a review you didn't like, Don't get mad at me.Remember, you are the one who asked for the review.
It's just my opinion on what I thought about it, and how to make it better.
Hahaha, I have just spent the past half hour reading all your chapters. Not only is this hilarious but now I have something to look forward to!!
Subscribed and voted love <3
6/16/15