I drove my car down the country-like road. Niall and the boys had an interview and Catherine was in class at uni. I decided to go shopping at a mall a couple of towns away from the city. It was a beautiful July day. It wasn’t too hot, it was the perfect temperature. I had the windows down and the wind was blowing through my straightened blonde hair.
Somebody That I Used To Know had just ended and Ed Sheeran’s voice filtered through my car speakers. “White lips, pale face, breathing in the snowflakes, burnt lungs, sad taste, light’s gone, days end, struggling to pay rent, long nights, strange men.”
My breath hitched in my throat, and memories came pounding back, making my head hurt. Tears immediately sprung into my eyes and I pulled over onto the side of the road. I sat in my car with both hands on the wheel, trying to regain my composure as the lyrics spun around in my head.
I laid on my back staring up at the bed. Did I really just do that? It wasn’t supposed to get this bad. I wasn’t supposed to stoop this low. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I had never intended for this to spiral out of control like it did. The random guy tossed the money on the bed side table. He got dressed and turned to look at me. He smirked at me, “Thanks. It was good.” He waked out of the motel room without a second glance.
I stayed there for a few minutes. Tears filled my eyes but never spilled over. I was sore. Every inch of my body felt disgusting and dirty. Why did I do this? Why did I sell myself like that? 16 and a drug addict prostitute.
I shoved the thoughts out of my head making my mind the blank, empty hole that it normally is. I got of the bed and got dressed into my jeans and sweater. I shoved the money in my back pocket and walked out of the door, putting my coat on. I stepped into the cold, snowy, November night and went straight to Rick’s house.
“Do you have the money?” He asked from the steps of his apartment building. Without saying a word I handed him the money and he handed me the bag with the powdery white substance. I never met his eyes and he’s never heard my voice. We had been in business with each other for just over a year. I have no clue what color his eyes are and he’s never heard the quiet tone of my voice. I nodded and turned, heading over to the empty house that I live in.
Catherine and her family never noticed what was going on with me. Maybe I hid it excellently well, or maybe they were in denial. Either way, they believed my bullshit ‘I can’t go to the beach. It reminds me of my parents and I’m not ready for that’ story and they were somewhere tropical, leaving me here in cold London, by myself. I definitely didn’t mind it.
I pushed the door open, feeling oddly weak. I felt like I haven’t showered in days. I felt like I had committed all of the seven deadly sins. I felt like complete shit, and I needed to eliminate that feeling.
I grabbed a bottle of vodka from the never ending liquor cabinet and went straight to my room. I opened up my closet and pushed all me clothes to one side, exposing the back corner. I pulled out the box and sat at my desk. I took the lid off and spilled out the contents of the box carefully.
A bong, a bowl, a pack of cigarettes, sleeping pills, a straw and an old school I.D card. I set the card and straw aside and put the rest back in the box and to its hidden location. Being extremely careful, I spilled some of the highly addictive, highly dangerous, extremely stupid drug, on the desks’ flat surface.
I straightened it into two lines. I turned my head to exhale, and then brought the straw to the end of my line and to my right nostril. Pinching the other one closed, I took a deep breath in, feeling a slight burning sensation travel up my nose. There was the faintest metallic after taste in the back of my throat. I repeated the process and crawled to my bed, feeling lighter than I did 5 minutes ago.
As I went on my trip there was a nagging voice in the back of my mind. I stared out the window, feeling the regret creep its way into my mind before I fell asleep.
The only sound that came from my car was the radio. “It’s too cold outside for angels to fly, for angels to fly…or angels to die.”
Words couldn’t describe how much I regret that part of my life. There was always that part of my mind that reminded me every day of the stupid things I had done. I looked back on those years and I wanted so desperately to erase them.
I looked at the clock on the radio and saw that the boys should be done with their interview. I shut off the radio, took a deep breath and sped into the city. I needed Niall, and I needed him now. I needed to just be in his arms, where I was completely safe.
A few minutes later, I was in front of the radio station where the interview was being done. I got out of the car and straight to the line of security. There were screaming girls and they were yelling awful names at me.
“Whore! Why don’t you go get pants! You’re such a slut, Niall deserves better,” Someone yelled. I looked down at my outfit, a simple t-shirt and shorts, it was the middle of summer, so shorts seemed logical. They covered everything so I didn’t look like a slut. I turned straight at the girl who yelled that at me.
I smiled at her as she glared at me. I looked her up and down, “I love your shoes,” I complimented. Shock spread across her face and girls around her chuckled. I turned to Paul.
“They’ll be out in a few minutes,” He said. I nodded and smiled. It was a fake smile, obviously. The flashback was still eating away at my stomach and the regret and guilt was nagging at my brain. I was antsy and I couldn’t stay still.
“Are you Elizabeth?” A tentative voice asked. I turned and saw a girl about 17. I smiled a fake smile, “That’s me!” The girl beamed, “Hi, I’m Alyssa. I don’t know how true this is, but I heard that you had a drug issue, and that you pulled through. I want you to know that, you are a really beautiful person. And obviously you’re strong, so hold on to that. Those girls are jealous that you’re the one in Niall Horan’s arms, not them. I mean, you two haven’t gone public yet, but you two have some pretty serious chemistry. I look up to you, and I know for a fact that other girls do too.”
My lip started quivering as I tried not to cry at her kind words. I pulled her into my arms squeezing her tight. “Thank you.” I pulled away and smiled a genuine smile.
“Um, can I have a picture with you?” She asked shyly. “Of course! PAUL can you take a picture of me and this lovely girl?” I asked him. He nodded and took her phone. We posed for several pictures on her phone and then on mine. “What’s your twitter? I’ll follow you.” She told me her twitter and I followed her. She had to go and gave me another hug before she left.
Admittedly, I felt better than I did on my way here. But then the girls started yelling at me. Calling me fat, ugly, stupid, whore, slut, prostitute. The last one cut me especially deep and the regret and guilt washed over me like a tsunami tide.
The names turned into screams that were deafening. I looked towards the door and saw Louis and Liam walking out. Zayn was just casual, but Niall and Harry were tickling each other…or something like that. The boys started posing for pictures and I couldn’t help but slightly smile. Niall’s grin stretched ear to ear as he posed for pictures with the fans. Eventually his eyes met mine. He smiled at first, but it changed into a worried grimace. I could tell that even though I was smiling, it didn’t reach my eyes.
He posed for one last picture and hugged one last fan before rushing over to me. “Are you okay?” He asked. I looked at him and just shook my head. I kept shaking my head and tears started spilling over. Sobs started breaking free from my chest and I fell into Niall’s arms. I inhaled his familiar, comforting scent. “Liz, what’s wrong?” I wasn’t able to answer. I couldn’t formulate the words.
The harsh reality hit me like a ton of bricks. This problem needed to be fixed. If I didn’t get rid of the overwhelming regret then this problem would be the death of me. Literally.
***
Niall and I had just gotten to Zayn’s flat after a sweet and romantic picnic for our 3 month anniversary. “Are you guys gonna go public soon? I don’t know when I’m going public yet. Do you think Perrie wants to go public? Or is it too soon? It’s only been a month.” Zayn was pacing back and forth in the living room. I was sitting with Niall on the couch next to Liam and Danielle.
“We haven’t really discussed it,” Niall answered. “Why are you so nervous, Z?” I asked. “The boys have met Perrie. So has El and Dani.”
“Yeah but you haven’t,” He said. I tilted my head furrowed my eye brows. “So?” He stopped dead in his tracks and looked straight at me. “So, what if you don’t like each other!? Then I’ll have to break up with her and I don’t wanna break up with her!”
“Whoa whoa whoa!” I cut in holding my hand up. “Why does that matter? Even if we didn’t like each other, which I doubt will happen, why would you have to break up with her?”
“Because as a group we’ll be together a lot and you and Niall are so perfect together that the thought of you two ever breaking up is…is…is…unthinkable!!”
I stood and placed both of my hands on Zayn’s shoulders. “SHUT UP!” I shouted. “Perrie and I will get along fine, okay? We’re adults, we’ll be okay. If the girls get along with her, I’m positive I will. She sounds sweet and she’s lucky to have you so don’t waste it, okay?”
“Okay, okay, you’re right!” He said nodding. I sat back down next to Niall. “Seriously, calm down, it’s really gonna be fine. I’m such a loveable person so don’t even worry,” I smiled. Everyone chuckled and resumed their conversations. Niall’s phone started buzzing a few minutes later. “Excuse me,” He said taking the phone call to the kitchen.
As he left the doorbell rang and Zayn jumped up and ran to the door. A moment later I heard a soft voice and Zayn entered the room with a beautiful blonde standing behind him. I stood up with a smile. “Hi! I’m Elizabeth, Niall’s girlfriend.”
I held out my hand she smiled, shaking it, “I’m Perrie, Zayn’s girlfriend. It’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Zayn let out a breath that he must have been holding, “Thank god.” Perrie and I laughed and started making small talk with Eleanor and Danielle. “So what about your parents?” Perrie asked as the topic of families came up. I paused for a second and a silence fell through the room.
“Actually, my parents died, in a fire, a few years ago,” I answered. Her face softened, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
I shook my head and smiled. “It’s okay, really,” I assured her. Niall walked in from the kitchen with his phone and a sandwich. “IT’S PARTY TIME!!!” We all stared at him wait for him to explain his sudden outburst. “My friend’s throwing a party, tomorrow, and we’re all going.”
“You have friends?” I teased. Niall gasped in fake hurt. “I have plenty of friends. I have like 7 million friends.”
“Actually, mate, that’s how many twitter followers you have,” Harry said from his spot on the floor next Liam. “WE SHOULD GO SHOPPING!!!!!” Eleanor cheered. “Oh god,” Everyone groaned. As cute and loving and fun as El was she was such a shopper. “Come on girls!!!!”
We barely had time to say bye to the boys before she took the key’s to Harry’s range rover and pushed us out the door. We all piled into the car. As El pulled out of the parking garage our phones went off with twitter notifications.
@Harry_Styles: Thanks @EleanorJCalder @Elizabeth_Hanover @DaniellePeazer and @PerrieEdwards for taking my car without asking. Appreciate it xx How am I supposed to take Niall for his driving test?
@Elizabeth_Hanover: You’re welcome @Harry_Styles :) Have Lou take you? Oh wait, he got pulled over for driving too slow…..again. Have fun walking xx
@DaniellePeazer: Look at you two all British with the xx at the end of your tweets xx
@EleanorJCalder: I like being British xxxxxxxx btw @DaniellePeazer is sooooo amazing
@PerrieEdwards: You’re all weird xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
@Harry_Styles: @Elizabeth_Hanover your car drives really smooth. Nialler’s pretty good at driving, you know. Xx
@Elizabeth_Hanover: I swear if you and Niall cash my car I will castrate you both :) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxoxxxxxxoox
“No more tweeting! We’re on Oxford, shopping center of London!!!!” Eleanor jumped out of the car and we followed. “Alright ladies, let’s do this poo.” We linked arms and walked in to the first store.
***
“This dress would look amazing on you!” Perrie said holding up a short black strapless dress. “It’s is really pretty,” I agreed. She put in my hands and pushed me to the fitting room. I closed the door and stripped down to my bra and underwear. “HOW DOES IT LOOK!?” Perrie asked excitedly, peeking her head over the door. It was one of those short doors where your legs and head were exposed.
“I don’t know, let me actually put it on!” I said sarcastically but with a smile. I stepped into the dress and opened the door. “Can you zip me up?”
“Sure, take a deep breath in,” She instructed. I sucked in a breath and she tried zipping it up but it stopped mid-way. I sucked in another breath. “It’s still not going up. Let me see if they have another size,” She said. I stepped back into the dressing room and took of the dress. I suddenly regretted eating the taco that I had eaten with Niall at the picnic. Tacos kind of became our thing, since Niall can’t cook and Harry only knows how to cook them and pancakes.
I felt the Mexican food churning in my stomach. I frowned at my reflection in the mirror. I started pinching my stomach, feeling the fat that gathered in that area. “Hey, Liz, uh they didn’t have another size,” Perrie spoke from the other side of the door. I frowned at myself. “That’s fine, I didn’t like it that much anyway,” I mumbled.
“There are so many other gorgeous dresses, but I saw these amazing shoes, so let’s hit up the shoe area.”
“Alright,” I answered and threw on my clothes.
I smiled as I looked down at my sweater. I’m infamous for my oversized and/or ugly sweaters. They’re just so comfortable and cute. I left the fitting room and went to the shoe section, seeing the girls trying on 49875247037529348 pairs of shoes.
“Here’s your bag, Elizabeth,” Eleanor said handing my black cross body bag. “Thanks!” I turned my head just slightly to the left and saw the cutest shoes I have ever seen in my life. “I’m getting these. Period. Case Closed. End of Discussion,” I said as I tried them on and showed the girls.
With two pairs of shoes each we made our way to the checkout line. Once Danielle and Perrie paid I was up next. I pulled out my wallet and found that it was empty except for my license and a credit card that I’ve never seen before. Confused, I pulled it out and looked at the name. Niall James Horan. I didn’t know whether to find it completely sweet or infuriating. I didn’t have time to contemplate it because there was a line forming. I handed over the card and she swiped it without even looking at it.
“Alright, when did he do that?” I asked as we walked to the next store after dropping our shoes in the car. “When you were in the dressing room,” Danielle replied. I shook my head and smiled.
We were walking aimlessly around. I still hadn’t found a dress though I found plenty of shirts and shoes. We were on our way to the car when it caught my attention. I froze and stared at the window. “That’s the one,” I whispered. I pulled the girls into the store and searched for the dress. It was blue, strapless, showed off my curves perfectly, and had a sweet heart neckline.
This was the dress.

Notes

OKAY HOW PERFECT IS THAT PICTURE!?

Pretty perfect I think.

Anywho, thank you so much or reading! If i'm not mistaken the plot will start to thicken in the next chapter.

AND 497 views!? THANK YOU!! So vote, comment because I love feedback, and subscribe!

I love you!

~Alex