“I promise to cherish her and love her till death do us part” Ed recited, his clammy hands enclosing my own. Who would have thought that I would be marrying The Ed Sheeran?

“You may now kiss the bride” The vicar bowed his head. Me and Ed both leant in, my head turning to one side, his to the other like 2 jigsaw pieces fitting together perfectly.

Our lips were mere centimetres to cone- . . .

“FBI, Open the door!" I shot up from my bed immediately, the loud yell echoing around the room. Please don’t tell me it was just a dream, I was just about to kiss him. I repeat kiss the ginger god! Suddenly Harry came busting through the door looking relatively normal with exception to the small plastic gun positioned in his left hand accompanied by a bright orange tie wrapped around his forehead. Oh dear god . . .

I could have guessed it would be him.

“Bee, the FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?” He yelled cockily holding the gun extremely close to my face wearing the same smirk he had yesterday.

My first proper day here and I already have 1 person on my to-kill list. Great start.

“Harry what the hell? What time is it” I buried my head into my pillow trying to block out the annoying gun noises he was making that and the awful sexual joke.

“8:44, you have class in like 15 minutes. You should be thankful I chose to wake you up” He mused throwing his gun onto his bed still laughing at my shocked face. That or he was laughing at my morning face . . . I wouldn’t blame him if he was.

I always was a bit weird in the morning. More specifically my lips are always numb for the first few minutes. I’m never going to be able to kiss the love of my life awake, well I will but I just won’t actually be able to feel it.

“Oh god I’m going to be late, I tell you I’m so cursed. It’s like the world wants to make me suffer for my past sins, not that I especially believe in that stuff. Saying that I don’t even really know what I do a-” Harry stopped my rambling.

“Bee, shut up” He rolled his eyes before throwing me a random banana. Sadly not his banana but still a banana none the less. Oh how I wish it was his real banana.

I’m kidding, I will never and I repeat never want his banana anywhere near my lemon.
MMm I wonder if he has an obsession with bananas. I mean the fruits not the . . . alternative? He had one yesterday and now today?

“So do you like bananas or blueberries?” he questioned. I turned around to find him lounging on his bed typing into his phone. Did he just read my mind or something?

“Why?” I quickly grabbed some clothes and began bustling around the room whilst harry just continued his life as a ‘god’.

“I wanna know what kind of pancakes to make in the morning” He murmured, raising his eyebrow expectantly. Me being me, I just rolled my eyes.

“Ready?” I muttered after getting ready and realising me and Harry had the same class together. Oh the joys.

oOo
I was gathering my belongings from the reception; where Harry had decided to ditch me, when I felt a tap on my shoulder; I turned around to be greeted with a tall blonde guy accompanied by 2 others.

"You know, it’s a good thing I have my library card-” He spoke, pointing his pen at me “-because I am totally checking you out." He winked holding up the card he pulled from his wallet. Don’t introduce yourself or anything, it’s fine. I thought most guys introduced themselves so we know what name to ‘scream’, yeah no, not this dick.

“Urm you do know that’s a costa card right….?” I replied. His head snapped towards the card which clearly read ‘Costa coffee student discount’. I’m gonna go out on a limp and say judging by his face he definitely didn’t know. I would be surprised if he even knew what a library card was let alone have one.

“Pftt yeah cause baby you’re like my coffee - you keep me up all night.” I struggled to refrain from gagging at the cheesiness but I have to admit, that was a smooth cover-up.

“Right, well thanks for that enlightenment” I muttered gathering my belongings. What I wouldn’t do right now for my curly headed roommate to come along and distract me from these horny hooligans.

“I think I could make you very happy.” He leaned in; his breathe fanning over my face, a mixture of cigarette, chocolate and coke. How pleasant.

“Why? Are you leaving?” I snapped back, hearing him mutter ‘feisty’ before I turned on my feet and walked in the opposite direction towards English class.

“You’ll want me kitten, they always do” I faintly heard him murmur in the background.

Shaking him of, I continued following the directions towards English until I noticed Harry and some people walking along together. Luckily or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, he turned around and hollered me over.

“Guys this is Bee” He pointed towards me “- And Bee this is the gang” He finished before pointing towards all the people.

“Hello love, I’m Eleanor” An extremely pretty brunette stepped forward embracing me in a hug before pointing towards a boy stood next to her “-and this is Louis” she poked his check and he waved energetically.

“I’m Liam and this is Danielle” A buzzed cut brunette spoke and pointed towards the curly head girl holding his hand.

“That’s Zayn and Perrie,

“I’m Niall and this is my . . . phone?” The blonde pointed towards his phone clearly he didn’t have a girlfriend to introduce. But damn, he was Irish and accents are my weak spot.

“Oh hello” I didn’t realise my voice was so quiet until I had finished speaking, being shy sucks. I assumed that I could walk with them to class so I hung back with the girls

Eleanor looked around and checked the boys were a good distance ahead of us 4 girls before speaking “So I saw you talking to Jake in the reception area” She nudged my arm, wiggling her eyebrows. Oh so that’s that dick-heads name.

I giggled “Let me guess, he’s like the campus hottie or something?” I smiled. I can’t believe these girls are being so nice to me; after all I’ve only just met them. Maybe people here are just super friendly, with exception to curly though.

“Yes, he is. Harry and him despise each other though” Perrie interrupted “Saying that though, he may not be Fred Flintstone but like he sure can make your bed rock!” she whispered before leaning back and winking.

Well fuck me sideways.

I leaned in closer until I was sure no-one besides Perrie, me and El could hear “So why does Harry hate him so much?” I questioned. I seriously feel like I’m back in high-school.

“Basically like Jake and Harry are like what you would class as the ‘campus hotties’ and their like kinda like rivals and they like hate each other cause of that and like yeah that’s why” I nodded in fake agreement. Basically all I got from that conversation is that I definitely need to buy Perrie a thesaurus so she can look up another word for ‘like’.

Hey, maybe I could get her that for Christmas? You know, because Christmas totally isn’t 4 months away. Saying that I think it’s pretty damn cute, in a sort of she can work it way.

“What are you 3 girls whispering about?” I turned my head towards Harry who was staring at me expectantly, his left brow slightly rose.

“The current economical state compared to the decline rate and percentage in 2012” I spluttered. That’s the biggest bullshit ever to leave my mouth and to be honest I don’t think that’s even a real topic; and if it is then wow that’s boring.

Either way, judging by how he shrugged and returned to talking amongst the guys he either believed me or he genuinely doesn’t care. Why couldn’t I have just said ‘nothing that concerns you’ like a normal person?

Yet another score for me and my fantabulous spy skills, what does that make it? 3 cover-ups? Or is it 4 or are we not cou-

“Earth to Bee” Eleanor was waving a hand in front of my face giggling sweetly. Oh how I hate people blessed with nice laughs. When I laugh I tend to snort; like a pig.

“I love your laugh, I swear mine sounds like a pig” I replied and thankfully she didn’t think me weird, instead we giggled together.

“Oink Oink.” Harry interrupted; he raised his hand to his nose pulling it back, imitating a pig.
Or at least I think it’s a pig. Then again it might be his normal facial expression, who knows.

I looked up again and noticed a big bobbed blonde strutting over to us. Okay, I’m not going to judge her; it’s underneath that counts anyway.

“Oh my god babe, did you get even fitter over the summer” She squealed running her hand down Harry’s biceps. Okay. Its official, I already hate her.

“And oh my god girlies who is this” She pointed towards me and clapped her hands together. I can feel an insult rising up my throat, oh no please don’t come ou-

“Did you do your makeup this morning, or did you just get attacked by a Crayola?” I spluttered before I could think what I was saying. Okay, there’s no doubt about it; she totally got attacked by a Crayola. Her bright orange lipstick and blue eye shadow are definitely batting in my corner on this one, or so to speak.

I mean come on, when even your own makeup is screaming insults about your poor choices then you definitely need to assess your purpose in life.

Oh fiddle sticks, she looks angry. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that? I mean were going to be seeing each other a lot after all. Okay time to put my powers of cover-up into play.

“Haha I’m kidding. Damn, I need to keep my jealousy in check” I giggled and winked. Please buy it, please bu-

“Oh gosh you’re so funny. I’m Cindy” She replied giggling along with me. I guess that saying ‘Ask and you shall receive’ isn’t all lies “We’re going to be such good friends, especially because you’re rooming with Harry, we’ll be seeing so much of each other” She continued, her head nodding excessively happily but I could detect her fake smile a mile away; I don’t have to know her to know she only wants to be nice to me so she can get closer to Harry.

Well fuck me sideways. Could my day get any better?

As soon as she walked over towards the boys Eleanor began speaking “She’s so irritating. Trust me, just smile and nod and pretend to care. It’s what I and Perrie do” She giggled in my ear.

“Probably for the best. So what’s she like?” I muttered back knowing she was more than likely going to make my life hell.

"Im mean im not saying shes a whore but lets just say that shes been pounded more than a mystery box in Mario" She continued ranting about and didn’t stop till we got to class, but she did explain to me that she wasn’t that bad when you get to know her.

Yeah if your into non-stop conversations about the hottest make-up today.

Why does the make-up trend change daily you might ask? Well because some people are so ignorant to the world around them, they believe make-up is their everything.

But I did also find out that these guys were kind of like a ‘gang’, not the serious type, the friend type. They went to high school together so at least that explains how they know each other.

“So what’s the professor like?” I asked as we walked sat down in the big hall ready for the talk. What if she turned out to be that receptionist from yesterday? I would literally cry with laughter, and then cry with pain and self-pity.

“Just don’t look her in the eyes - she'll steal your soul." Niall imputed whilst waving his hands imitating what I can only guess is a ghost.

“Shut up Niall-” Eleanor smacked him lightly before continuing “-Harry’s friend; who just graduated, said she was pretty nice. I can’t say the same for Niall…” She giggled, pointing towards a sulking Niall and back towards the professor.

English Literature Is genuinely interesting but I just can’t help but let my mind wander onto pointless topics such as words that rhyme with orange. I guess scientists where right, there definitely isn’t any rhyming word. Mr. Orange must feel so alone . . .

oOo
“So you all need to choose a person to use as a subject for your photography” The professor instructed the class, pointing towards the pictures on the projector. “You’ll need to choose something relatable so you can write about it” She continued.

Just in case you haven’t realised, I’m currently sat in my photography class listening to my teacher drone on about our assignment for the term.

I felt someone nudging my arm “What are you going to do?” Niall whispered in my ear after gaining my attention. After arriving at photography class, it turned out that Niall was studying it to and seen as we didn’t know anyone else, we decided to sit together. Not saying that me and Niall ‘know’ each other, we haven’t even properly spoken. Oh well, maybe some of his Irish luck will rub off on me.

“Not sure yet. Maybe something outside?” I replied. After shrugging, he turned he mimicked my actions or turning back towards the teacher.


“You could use the outside but I highly discourage this, purely because I doubt any of you can write an essay about relating to Mother Nature. Anyway class is now over, you’re all dismissed” I gathered my belongings and threw them into my bag.

“There goes your idea of photographing something outside” Niall laughed.

“I have no-idea who I’m going to photograph now”

“Ask Harry. He’ll do it for sure, anything for him to be in the spotlight” He winked, opening the door leading towards the dorms for me. Have we seriously walked all the way from class already? I guess time really does fly.

“Thanks” I gestured towards the door “But no, I barely even know Harry.”

“I doubt he would mind; besides he can be pretty nice once you get to know him.” I snorted “Trust me, he wouldn’t mind doing it”

“Firstly, he is a first class douche-dick. And secondly I only met him yesterday; this is all a bit rushed” I muttered, rubbing my temples.

My first day of Uni and I’m already failing miserably. I have a room-mate that’s the cockiest arse I have ever met, I’m lacking a model and it’s sunny. I repeat sunny, I hate the sun. I’m more of a rain girl myself.

“Harry can come across sort of” He hesitated as if choosing the next words carefully but I cut him off.

“Cocky, big headed, egotistical suspicious oh and let’s not forget irritating” I took a glance at my watch checking the time for no particular reason. It’s not like I have a social life, I don’t even have friends. Assuming imaginary friends don’t count . . .

“Suspicious isn’t really a word I would use to describe Harry” Niall muttered, I watched him furrow his eyebrows. His clad black shirt adorning his muscles.

“Take my word for it, he’s very suspicious” I pulled the dorm key from my bag.

“See ya tomorrow.” Niall waved energetically before walking down the hall laughing to himself.

Damn, why couldn’t my room-mate me Niall. He seems so joyful and kind-hearted.

I trudged my tired body into the room, immediately noticing Harry sitting crossed legged on his bed; phone in hand, typing away intently with the other on the laptop being hoisted in the air by books.

“How was your day?” He asked me cheerily. I merely shrugged as a response, for some reason Harry had the ability to put a dampener on my mood.

“Damn, you seriously do irritate me at times” He sighed. He does realise that we’ve only known each other for less than 24-hours? He stood up and strode over so he was standing in front of me clearly intrigued.

“Ugh, shut up, you’re the douche-dick. You crashed my wedding” I moaned, poking his chest with my index finger hoping he realised I was frustrated. It probably wasn’t working; I’m so bad at being angry.

“Are you on drugs?” he quirked his brow.

“Yes very possibly but that’s not the issue at hand!”

“And what exactly is the issue?”

“I well urm … Im- not I do..nt” I stuttered. Wait . . . why am I even annoyed at him? Oh yeah, because he’s seriously testing my patience with his ridiculous attitude, pickup lines and general dick-like-thinking.

“Bad photography class?” How did he know? Maybe he’s a physic? Or he can read minds? Then again, I think if he could read my mind then he would probably have left the country by now; I can have very disturbing thoughts.

Or perhaps he figured that seen as I was fine before class and irritated now that the class had set my mood of. I definitely think the latter option is the most plausible.

“And what exactly are you going to do about it? Whip me up a model?” I replied both impatiently and confused. He pointed to himself smiling smugly like it’s the biggest achievement ever. Realising I wasn’t impressed his face turned into a scowl.

“Oh I’m sorry, did you want a medal for being able to use the muscles in your fingers?” I sighed turning around. This was the most pointless conversation ever.

“No I mean you can use me as your model or subject or whatever it is it’s called” He said like it was the most obvious thing ever.

“I don’t think so” I replied shoving past him and packing my camera away “-I’ll ask one of the girls or something” I continued.

“The girls have classes when you don’t and there’s not much time after them, and besides, me and you are going to be seeing lots and lots of each other. Come on it’ll be fun” He whined. I jumped slightly when I felt his hands lightly grab my shoulders spinning me around so we were face to face. “Admit it, it makes sense” He finished.

“I think I can relate more with a stone than I ever can with you”

Damn. If it was Jake’s jaw I would have a flipping mammoth essay. Harry’s isn’t anything particularly special. Wait, did I just compare Harry to Brett? Okay let’s forget that.

“I’m only trying to help you” He stepped back in a defensive manner.

“Why do you even want to help me anyway…”

“I’m not sure? It would be so fun to work with you?” He shrugged. Weird answer much.
“Well I’m going to shower, don’t come in”

oOo
I was finishing hanging up my towel from the shower when the door swung open and Harry stepped in, arms crossed, cockily leaning against the door frame.

“Yes, please. Just walk right in. It's not like I could have been naked or anything” I shook my head. Thank god he had come in just when I had finished putting my top on. Maybe he is a physic after all.

“If I could see you naked, I'd die happy” He winked.

“If I could see you naked, I'd die laughing.” I replied. He released a low chuckle; I think deep down this was like one big joke . . . to the both of us.

"Oh yeah and what part of 'I'm taking a shower’ did you take to mean 'come in’?" I continued before taking the towel of my dripping hair letting my blonde curls to cascade down my back. I sighed realising he wasn’t going to leave “What do you even want?” I muttered.

“A million pounds, a blowjob, a massage, and maybe a human-sized hamster ball.” He nodded impressed with his list. I seriously need to find a way to get him back for this.

“Whish id never asked” I muttered trying to refrain from letting the smile forming on my lips at his stupid-ness.

I watched him run a hand through his curls; an action he performs frequently, maybe he just loves the feeling of his hair? If I ever did that to mine it would frizz up ven more than it normally does. It’s not normal to be jealous of a guy’s hair is it?

“Right well good luck with those. I’m going to bed” I replied, studying his hair once more before allowing my own to curtain my face and hide the devilish grin plastering my face and shuffling out of the steamy room. Man I’m so clever sometimes . . .

Notes

Thankyou for reading :D