When your roomie turns out to be a big headed, cocky and not forgetting banana crazed douche-dick, what are you supposed to do?

Ask the germ-phobic receptionist to change dorms?
Or trade with the girl sabotaging your every move?

That's something any normal person would do.
Im anything but normal.

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Excerpt

I rolled my eyes “What do you even want?” I inquired.
“A million pounds, a blowjob, a massage, and maybe a human-sized hamster ball.” He nodded impressed with his list.

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A story of rude awaking’s, a crush with the most fascinating smile, roasting marshmallows, removing traffic lights from the world and a complicated love triangle.

Bee/Harry/Niall

1. He’s sucking his banana

   “Do I look anything like a girl?” He smirked.

2. The FBI wants to steal my penis!

   Hello love, I’m Eleanor

3. No bitch, we’ll just eat on the floor.