Amour

EPILOGUE I play with my pencil as I scan the document I'm being made to initial. Seeing that isn't a much altered release sheet I scrawl my signature at the foot of the page on the dash and hand it back to Nurse Jackie who smiles warmly. My beeper goes off and I hurry back to the ER. "New patient?" I question the receptionist. "Bullet wound in the gernie to your left." She informs me. I take off in the pointed direction and get there to see a young man, gripping his shoulder in agony. The blood is escaping through his fingers. This is a routine procedure so I don't think too much. "Hi. What's your name?" I distract him while removing his hand and cutting open his shirt at the injured area. "Liam." He responds clearly out of breath. "Well, Liam I'm going to seal this wound on three and it may hurt just a little." I sugar-coat my statement as I remove the bullet with a pair of tweezers. "Oh okay." He looks away. "One...." I count and immediately seal it. "Ah! Fuck! What happened to two and three?" He bursts. "The pain isn't so searing if it is unexpected." I bandage up the wound and leave him in the care of one of our nurses. Time to go home, my shift is over. I've always hated this part, going home meant I could be alone in my house that Nana so kindly allowed me to retake up residence after........everything. My mouth goes sour and my subby brings out her cigar clearly not ready to think about this and have me go into a crying fit all over again. My phone buzzes and I answer it quickly. "Hunter." This has become my default way of answering any call. "Hey, Sam. Ella and I are at the airport. Where are you?" Its Zack and that tinge of disappointment is still there even after a year. After twelve months I'm still hopeful everytime I answer any phone. Its juvenile and silly but I can't seem to knock it off. "Sorry. Just got off my shift so give me ten minutes max." "You have eight. We're waiting." I hear Ella's voice cut through before the line goes dead. Tucking my cellphone into my bag and disrobing of my ER surgeon uniform before tossing it into a bin, I walk out the doors to the parking lot. The night isn't silent, people are stumbling about already intoxicated and party-goers are moving the bass at every club I drive past. In the year I've been working at the medical center I haven't taken a break, no vacation meant no time to ponder and that meant no late night crying. I physically threw myself into my work, doing the longest hour shifts my body could take before it gave up and needed rest. My lunch breaks were either a banana, a granola bar or a packet of chips because those foods I run around and easily toss into bin. I enter my home and take in the scent of a familiar environment. I haven't really stocked up on anything, especially food or cutlery. My diet consists of daily stops at the health bar on my way home from work. I never bought a TV because my mind could never stay trained on Courage the Cowardly Dog. Its as if I'm the ghost of this property, never at home but when I am its as if no one else ever walked these halls. I run upstairs to my room - the only room equipped to have a person sleep in there - and grab the two travel bags I've had packed for a week. Ella and Zack suggest we take a vacation together reason being they're aware that I'll never take one on my own. We're all taking a one-way flight to the great city of Paris then back home after a week because I know I'll miss my work. The airport is buzzing with people struggling to get home on time. I spot Ella and Zack seated on a bench holding hands and laughing. Oh I forgot to mention that they're engaged, been since last week. Their Skype messages didn't seem to be enough so someone had to move, it was Zack who resigned from the medical center and flew to join Ella at her hospital. I'm genuinely happy for them, Ella's an amazing girl and Zack an amazing guy. I already feel like the third wheel. Yay. "Hey, Sam!" Ella drops Zack's hand and rises to hug me. "Hi." I've also bearly spoken out of work so I haven't broken in my voice yet. "Jesus, you're so thin. When we're on the plane I'm making you eat everything they've got." I hug her really tight excited to see a known face. "Feel free. Hey, Zacky." I smile at the still shy guy next to Ella. "Sup, Sammy?" He hugs me and I want so badly to cry. "I see Ella's taught you some almost relevant lingo." "I'm trying but I honestly think I should be absolved for the effort I'm putting in." Ella comments as we take our bags and walk towards our gate. The air-hostesses are nice but then again, they're paid to be nice. Ella does order me food, a chicken sandwich wrap and when it comes I find myself picking at it instead of eating. "What's wrong with it?" Ella asks from beside me. Yes, but you're my sandwich wrap. The words come unbidden into my mind and the face of the speaker more so. "I-I need the loo." I jump up and walk away towards the lavatory. Tears are already spilt as I jiggle the handle and the door opens. Sitting down on the closed lid I bring my knees up to my chest hugging myself and hide my face. I sit there, still with tears rolling down my face onto my clothing and the wave of horror shadows me again. When I'd said no to him I never in any lifetime thought it would be this painful that even after a year a hollow hole expands an inch every second swallowing my every emotion. I'd said I wanted to grow old with someone but in the state I'm in now, I'd say that time will never come. Maybe my heart will repair itself and eventually let go but even the thought of that now makes me depressed. Time heals all wounds, right? I wipe my eyes and wash my face and hands before going back out to sit next to Ella. She knows I've been crying by the look on her face but doesn't ask me anything. Wise woman she is. Pulling up the arm rest that separates our seats I rest my head on her shoulder and close my eyes. "Sam. We're here, sweety. Wake up." Ella's voice penetrates my dreamless sleep and I awaken. "I'm up." I stretch and my neck feels tight from the awkward sleeping position. "Zack's gone to get our luggage. Come on." We stand and I feel a little wobbly but it wears off and we walk through the isle out into the fresh air. I feel slightly insecure. I've never been here and I don't know anyone here either. I'm a foreigner again. "Our hotel is a little way from here. Let's go get a taxi." Ella loops her arm around mine and we stride into the airport terminal then back out to catch a cab. Zack appears with a trolley holding all our bags soon after, he and the taxi driver load them into the boot and we climb in the back. The streets are so lively and the people all share similar physical traits. We pull up in front of a grand and very expensive looking hotel. The valet takes our car and our bags are loaded onto another cart on wheels. We're given our room keys and all take the elevators up to our desired level. Sliding the key into the handle I open the door and see my bags have arrived before me. There's a bedroom to the left and a kitchen to my right, a living room right in front of me. All too big for a single person. My fingers reach up clutching the necklace I haven't taken off in a year, and in that year I've never opened it once. I won't unpack because I'd hate to forget something in a drawer when we leave and waste money flying back. Someone knocks on my door and I turn to open it. "We thought we could grab some coffee before sight seeing." Its Ella and she's already changed into a skirt and shirt. "I'm sorry but I feel jet lagged. I'm gonna get some rest." I apologize. "Oh no you're not. Get dressed, you're coming." "But-" "Get dressed or I'll do it for you." Wanting her not to pop a vein I pull on a white dress that looks Taylor Swift-enough and go with them down the elevator to the lobby. We go into a vintage-looking coffee shop and are seated outside with a spectacular view of everything. We order the lamest of things, coffee and croissants with some fancy biscuits. Zack and I speak fluent French so we do the talking. "We should go to a bar tonight, to celebrate. Who can resist a girl who speaks French?" Zack raises his eyebrow at me. "Or a guy, for that matter." Ella leans in and kisses him. I look down at my napkin and start picking at the edges. I glance up and take in my surroundings, people are milling about drinking stuff and holding hands. People are shopping and laughing. I look at the other tables and observe certain families as they restrain their anger when a child is out of line. The person at the table not too far from ours, makes my heart stop when I realize who it is. Every emotional wall that was under construction has crumbled and the budget scrapped. Why is he here? My subby awakens from her hibernation. He isn't looking at me so I duck back down before he looks this way. Our order arrives just as a strong wind whips past rustling my hair. *** *LOUIS POV* She's here. I know she is. The strong whizz of wind delivers a very familiar scent that I've been craving to smell of my own for months now. Looking around me at every person I finally see her. Sitting with Ella and Zack I presume, keeping her eyes trained on her food. She's so thin, it annoys me that she hasn't taken care to eat properly. Her white dress fits her perfectly though and I'm already wondering what it would feel like to hold her again. *** *SAM POV* "France has beaches, you know. Come with us." Ella begs me. "No. I'm not a surf and sand kinda person so I'll meet you guys back at the hotel." I convince her and stand to leave. I finish my coffee and gobble my croissant desperate to get out of here and walk away after dropping enough cash to cover my part of the bill. Hurrying back to the hotel I get into an elevator feeling my emotions on edge again. Getting into my room I go for the bed and just lie on it, curled up and sobbing. Why would he be here? Did he know I was here? Happy/Depressing coincidence maybe? Should I leave? Was I just hallucinating? My doorbell rings and I curse thinking I may have dropped something in the elevator. Getting off the bed I wipe away the tears and go to answer it. "Hel-" I try to greet but am too stunned to continue. "Sam." Its Louis. Standing at my door looking as perfect as always but his expression isn't one of contentment. "Louis. How did you-" He cuts me off by grabbing my face and bringing to his, uniting our lips in a desperate and urgent kiss. No part of me tells me to pull away so I don't. In a single kiss every pain I've felt has disappeared, every wound stitched up. He walks into my room and I walk backwards our mouths still connected. Slamming the door closed behind him he moves to the tiny but solid desk against the wall and lifting me up onto it. I wrap my legs around his waist bringing him closer to me and my fingers are lost in his hair. His hand runs up my thigh making my skin tingle before hoisting me up and carrying me to the bedroom. "Louis-" I speak against his lips. "Trust me." He says before reclaiming my lips. And I do. Entirely. He drops me onto the bed with him on top of me never breaking our kiss and I never want him to. My hands move to the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head. He rolls over putting me on top and unzips the back of my dress, letting it fall and discarding it to the floor. Suddenly the year-long gap never existed, its just us alone and away from everything that could hurt us. I always knew I missed him, everything about him but now his touch burns through me igniting every spark, nurturing every sensation that I've been yearning for. He kisses my cheek, my jaw, below my earlobe, my neck down to my cleavage and I moan his name. Carefully unclipping my bra and not ripping it off he tosses it aside before coming back up to kiss me with his hand massaging my breast. I part my lips and his tongue does the same to mine, I don't fight for dominance. I want him in control and my body a capture. Before I can process it he takes off his trousers and his boxer briefs, tossing even my underwear with them onto the ground. He attacks my neck keeping his hands on waist as I feel him enter me and I bite my lip to keep from screaming. The hollow hole has vanished, he's here with me and that means no emptiness. He moves out of me then back in at a slow pace and I release my lip. "Louis." I moan desperately. I felt it rise and now I feel it detonate. My body releases and I shatter like a glass window beneath the man I'm in love with. He let's go at the same time and I revel in the feeling of him inside me, of our sweet union. He supports his weight on his elbows and hovers above me. I notice a chain around his neck, letting my fingers reach up and clasp it I recognize the pendants. They're the ones I gave him of the puzzle piece and he's wearing both interlocked as one. I pull on the pendant bringing his face down to mine and I kiss him, pouring everything I've felt in the past twelve months into it. I am his and only his for the rest of forever and I tell him that in the kiss. "I have something to show you." He says after pulling away. "Okay." I flinch a little as he pulls out of me and stands pulling on his boxers again then sitting down on the mattress beside me. "When........you said no and I left before you could wake up, I did that for a reason. I knew that you were never going to change your decision no matter how much I begged and I didn't have anything to bring you back. To convince you. So I went to someone who could help me and he did." I frown not understanding. He looks around the room and sees the kitchen. Walking at a regular speed he retrieves something from there and walks back. A knife. My eyes widen in alarm at what he may be planning on. He sits back down. Taking he knife he holds it to his shoulder and presses a little. "Are you insane? Stop that." I take the knife away from him and leaving it down on the table. "You'd still stop me even if I were still able to heal as quickly as before. That's why I'm in love with you." "As before? What do you mean?" "Turns out that hyzer has many uses. Reversing immortality is one of them along with several other chemical components." "You......what?" I'm staring at his shoulder waiting for the wound to magically close but it doesn't. There is still that thin red line a centimeter long on his chest. I grab the nearest item of clothing off the ground - my white dress - and wipe away the blood to see the cut still marring his skin. "I'm mortal again, Sam. I've been trying to find you for the past year but I didn't know how you'd react at first." He explains. "Louis. You didn't have to do this if you loved who you were." "What I was. Not who I was. I hated immortality because I couldn't have you and you're all I ever wanted. You're all that matters. It didn't even hurt one bit." I find myself smiling after a year of not knowing true happiness. He's human, that means we're finally suited. He also fishes out the little white box again from his jeans pocket and opens it. This time it isn't a black ring. Its a simple band that's split into two colours - black and white. "Its the colour you were wearing when we first spent the night together. It changes though in direct sunlight and-" He starts but I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. "Yes." I say and he discreetly slips the ring onto my finger before tossing the box and laying back down with me. "Forever may not be as long as it was though." "I don't care because the rest of forever starts now." *** I wake up feeling strangely awkward. The drapes haven't been drawn probably because Louis didn't want to wake me. The scent of food catches my attention and I hurry out of bed to brush my teeth and wash up. Every morning despite waking up to it every day, it feels so new and utterly perfect. Its been two weeks since we got back from Paris and the entirety of that trip - excluding the first ten hours or so - was spent with Louis. Being there with him was a fairy tale and I didn't want to return, knowing that reality had to faced when we got back. Everything was made easy though. Louis shocked me yet again when he disclosed the fact of him selling his entire apartment building. I made the sacrifice of letting go of home too and we'd gotten a brand new apartment in the heart of London. We have yet to unpack 99% of our belongings because Louis is convinced that the space hasn't been christened yet and I don't mind. Of course, I still have to break the news to Nana and I bet she'll get a kick out of it. Heading downstairs to the kitchen I see him moving fluidly through the room, making what appears to be pancakes. Ah, humans. He has no shirt on so I decide to stand silently and observe from afar for now. "Goodmorning." He greets me and I blush from being caught. "Morning. Breakfast?" I saunter over to the counter. He walks around the island and wraps his arm around my waist pulling me in for a kiss. He dips me and I giggle against his mouth feeling a smile form on his lips too. "Pancakes." He says pulling away. I sit on one of the bar stools and steal a pancake from the pile on the plate ultimately burning my fingers. I break little pieces off and eat it while I watch Louis move around the kitchen feeling like an intruder for some reason. My stomach jerks and my appetite falls to the ground floor. I clutch my shirt waiting for it to pass but it doesn't. I feel a wave of nausea coming on so I drop the pancake and scramble off the chair. "Sam? What's wrong?!" Louis' voice is full of worry. I go into the bathroom and lock the door not wanting him to come in here. I lean over the toilet waiting for my food to rise up but it doesn't. The twisting pain still exists in my abdomen and I sit down trying to gather myself. "Sam. Baby, open this door." Louis knocks on the door. "Hold on." I tell him. "I'm getting really worried, what's wrong?" "I'm fine." He continues to speak but an idea has sparked and I move to the set of drawers in the corner. I open the last one that holds my private stuff and pull out a rectangular box that holds a nightmare of a white stick. I washed up and am sitting on the floor waiting for the stick to turn into colour and when it does I'm both relieved and excited. Louis has been rattling on the door and getting quite miffed that I won't open it so I go to unlock it. "What's wrong? I was panicking out here." His eyes wear emotions of trouble and some anger. I don't say a word and instead hold up the stick for him to gape at. His expression changes, softening a bit when he registers what the soft pink means.

Notes

I really hope you've all enjoyed Amour :) it means the world to me that you all have stuck around and supported me :)

I have another fanfic coming out real soon so please do stick around for a little while longer :)

- S xx
(@SSTomlinson)