Amour

CHAPTER 26 I stretch out in bed letting my eyes take their time in adjusting to the shafts of daylight seeping past the white hotel curtains. My hand lands on something warm......and human. Louis grumbles in his sleep rolling onto his side and smiling lazily at me. "Hmmm.....goodmorning." His eyelids flutter open revealing the mesmerizing blue pearls behind them. "Ditto." I smile and reach out to brush some hair out of his eyes. He leans into my hand exhaling deeply. "Are you-" "Don't ask if I'm okay because I will kill you." "Sorry." He takes my hand and kisses the wrist. My phone buzzes but I can't trace the root of the sound. Pulling back the covers I attempt to swing my legs over the edge but I'm held back by Louis. "Ignore it." He mumbles dragging me back to him, my back pressed to his front and his face hidden in my hair. "I have to answer it." My struggles are in vain as he tightens his python grip around my waist. "Later, baby. I want to hold you now." He kisses my cheek then bringing his lips to my ear. "And forever." Even though we are both constantly reminded that forever isn't an option for me I won't bring it up now and spoil our moods. Louis brings the duvet above our heads ideally forming a white tent under which we are hidden from everything that isn't welcome right now. I am however entirely naked and when he pulls me astride him memories of last night rush into focus my cheeks reheat. "Penny for your thoughts?" He asks while playing with my fingers kissing my knuckles. "I was thinking about last night." "So was I." He again restrains some of my rogue hair strands. "You are so beautiful." He praises after a momentary silence. "Especially when you're blushing." "You're not so bad yourself, Lou." I try to take the attention off me. "I'm glad you think that because I have a proposition." "Hmm?" "How would you like to spend some time alone with this average-looking guy-" he points to himself "-in a cabin." "Whose cabin will we be using if I say I'd like that very much." "Mine, its really old but the upkeep is quite exceptional." "You have a cabin?" "Aha. I'd like to take you there so that we could.........sort of run away from everything for a few days." "I'd spend alone time with you any day." I lean in and he kisses me for a long time. "But I do have to get some stuff sorted out either before or after the cabin adventure." "After." He pulls me back down to kiss me again. There's a knock on the door that interrupts us and I groan from being disrupted for a second time in under ten hours. "I'll get it." Louis offers. I climb off him and off the bed to find a white packet on the chair amongst our clothes. Louis drags on his boxers and pants before heading for the door. "Wait! What are these?" I call after him. "Did a little shopping. You were going to need new panties after what happened to the last pair." He explains and I grab the packet shuffling into the tiny space meant to be a bathroom. "Oh....Louis. Hi." The bubbly voice is all too recognizable and I race to put on whatever clothing is in the packet. New undergarments, brown shorts and a white t shirt. Seriously? He knows I hate shorts. I'm a little angry that he left me in bed in the middle of the night but I'll have to deal with that after Ella's gone. "Hey. Sam's in the bathroom." I hear Louis respond. "I'm here." I walk out of the bathroom announcing myself like in the 1700's. "Morning. Zack and I were wondering if you wanted to grab breakfast with us." Ella directs her attention to me. "Yeah, sure. Wait for me at the elevator." I smile and she leaves. "You know, I could book another night in this room." Louis closes the gap between us placing his hands on my hips. "So you can leave me in the middle of the night again?" I hate that I sound really pissed. "I just went to get fresh air. Besides, you did need new clothes." I move out of his hold and open the door walking out without slamming it. "Sam! Please don't be mad." I hear him say just before I close the door. The door reopens but I'm already in the elevator by that time. I realize that I have to face him in a few hours but I don't want to think about that. He's never used the 'needed fresh air' excuse before and it offended me that I had to be the one he needed fresh air away from. Maybe the realization that we aren't suited is finally becoming clear to both of us and when we're at the cabin he'll break up with me. Maybe I shouldn't go, just break it off now before it hurts too much to let go. Truth is I don't want a life of immortality, I want to grow old and get grey. Have kids and a porch swing on a farm somewhere with someone I can spend the remainder of my life with. Immortality would take that away from me. The elevator doors open and Zack is standing with Ella against the opposite wall. I shove down my thoughts because I plan on getting through this meal without unnecessary acquisitions from either of my best friends. "So where shall we eat?" Zack asks as we walk out. "Somewhere greasy and unhealthy beyond belief." I comment and they laugh. "Because she has a boyfriend she can do as she pleases now, eat and drink like a slob. He won't care." Ella jokes as we exit the revolving door and I inwardly smile at the remembrance of the previous time I was in one of these. "How about that bar down the street. I've been there once before and believe me when I say their burgers are gifts from Olympus." Zack exaggerates. "Olympus?" Ella questions as we walk down the street under Zack's request. "Home of the Greek Gods. Most of them." I quickly think back the numerous occasions when I described Louis as a Greek God. We enter a Texan-inspired bar with saloon style doors and the booths could actually be made of cow skins. We sit in the only available booth right in the corner. We order exactly what Zack instructs along with three bottles of beer. "So, who's driving you to the airport tomorrow?" I ask Ella. "My folks hope to be back in time to take me. They're making me move into an apartment on my own first." She says just as our beverages arrive and I'm courageous enough to take a large swig. "Whens your first day?" Zack asks. "Monday. I'm really excited but I wish you two were with me." "You promised to pester us every afternoon with your Skypes and total disregard for time zones." I argue. "Get used to it. I'll really miss you guys. The apartment is huge so maybe during a break you two could fly up and vacation with me in New York." She says. "Yeah. Definitely." Our food arrives hot and tempting. I hadn't realized I'm so hungry, immediately biting into the burger as soon as it lands in front of me crowned with what could be A-Class chips. "Hungry much?" Zack wipes his mouth with a tissue. "Of course she is. Busy nights can do that to a girl." Ella comments making me cherry again. "Will you do sight seeing in New York before work on Monday?" I change the subject. "I hope so, even an hour of freedom would be great because once we step into that ER there's no coming back." Ella answers. "When do you two start at the medical center?" "Um....well we start first thing in new year. We're already into December so not long." Zack replies. "Are you excited?" "Stoked. Its my dream career so I'm over the moon." I say. "Same here. I mean its practically two-in-one with saving lives and doing what you love. Besides, we studied for nearly ten years so this field work is gonna be off the chain." Zack adds and we laugh hysterically. "Sam, promise me you'll teach Zack some twenty-first century vocabulary." Ella holds her finger out and I knot it with mine sealing the deal with a pinky promise. "I promise." I take a swig of my drink. "So do you need help packing up? I can come over." "Thanks but I've been delaying so much because I'm trying to prolong my time here, I've packed then unpacked then repacked. I literally have the entire property in a box." Ella shrugs. "Oh! We got you something." Zack jerks as if he were asleep. "Oh yes. Zack, do you have it?" I ask him and he nods. He runs out the door and returns with a gift bag. "Yeah we thought that since we won't be in each other's faces anymore we could give you a reminder of when we were." Ella 's face becomes serious, her feelings of guilt and sadness becoming prominent in her features. She opens the bag and I remember the gift Nana had given me, I have yet to open it. A tear falls down her cheek as she covers her mouth to keep from sobbing. I pull her against my side to hug her and Zack does the same from the other end. We'd gotten her an e-frame that contains a collage that displays every picture we've ever taken together at a five second interval. "You didn't have to." She puts her head on my shoulder. "Its perfect." "Have a safe trip, honey." I kiss her forehead. *** "Bye. I'll call you in the morning then we can join you on the ride to the airport." I wave in departure speaking through the window. "Your life depends on that call. Do you have everything?" Ella regards me. "Aha. Later." I salute and turn around to walk up the long pathway leading up to my home that I once shared with Nana and Jase. Why am I here? Whatever the reason is, I'm already here so might as well go in. Trudging up the path then the porch steps I hunt down the front door key and open it. Its so silent, no strong food scent and no jolly grandmother in the living room playing with a lively young Jase. Nothing. The house is silent and almost senile. I hurry up the steps to my room and close the door once I'm safely in its confines. Most of my belongings aren't here, my laptop, my iPad, my damned phone, 99% of my clothes are at the apartment. I take a deep breath allowing just for a moment to feel what it felt like when I first got this room, first day moving in. My uncomplicated and day-to-day life. All that's out the window now I guess, ever since I kissed an immortal next to my table my life's been forced inside-out, my pillars shuffled around and my logic been shaken and stirred. My bed looks so warm and homey. I hope the water hasn't been cut off yet. I go investigate and find that it hasn't, going in for a quick shower I come out feeling all but relieved. Putting on a pair of shorts - no wonder I left these behind - and a button-up blouse. Some days I'd actually care about how awful I look right now but today isn't one of those days. Climbing into bed I bury myself in pillows and blankets not wanting anyone to find me because I need 'fresh air'. At least I don't have to be concerned about my phone interrupting my slumber, God knows where that gadget is. Sleep overtakes my thoughts and I fall under giving in to my subconscious as I'm taken on a bitter-sweet journey through dreamland. The door opens waking me from my peaceful sleep but I don't care who it is. The bed sinks as someone seats themselves in my view which is thankfully blocked by numerous girly pillows I didn't know was in my possession. "Sam?" The voice is soft and worried. I instantly recognize it. Turning over onto my other side is childish but I miss my childhood so I do exactly that. Clutching a pillow to my chest as if it were a teddy bear that would rid me of nightmares. "Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." Louis continues. Opening my eyes I focus on the intricate detail on my rug and listen to him. "I didn't think you'd be offended. I just-" "Wanted fresh air. I know." I cut him off still not looking at him. "You never left before and I just panicked not knowing what to say, I guess. When a person needs fresh air it means that they need space away from whoever's around them and in this case, it was me." "Do you want me to be honest with you?" "Completely." I sit up finally looking at him still holding my pillow. "I went for a walk to think about......us. Whether or not I was being selfish by wanting you all to myself especially with these circumstances." He grimaces almost in pain but I don't stop him. "I know that you've told me you love me and that you won't leave but what about your life? I'd be stopping you from doing everything you wanted to do." No. No. No. He's breaking up with me and its already started to hurt, yanking on my every emotion, every nerve and vessel triggering tears that are currently threatening to spill over. "Then I decided when I thought about everything we have done together that yes, I am a selfish man. I'm too cowardly to let you go but I also need you to be completely at ease with this life. That's why I got you this." He carries on fishing out something from his pocket. Its a tiny white box with a gold trimming. I can't read the name on it because of the traitor tears already rolling down my cheek and onto my pillow. Is he going to........he can't be, its so strange for him to do that at this moment. "You walked out on me twice and the first time I was nothing short of an ass by not stopping you. The second time I'm not going to make that same mistake. This isn't an ordinary ring, its custom made in my world." He opens the box and a solid black band is revealed. "Its made so that only the two partners can see it, once it's on your finger it changes shape but that's only revealed once its on." I hear my pulse pause then flow through my veins. My heart skip pretty much every beat and relocate to my throat forming a stubborn lump. I move a little closer to him sitting cross-legged in front of him. He looks so sad, hurt even and all I want to do is make it go away. Kiss him and make both our pains go away. But if I were to accept this ring, I'd never be able to say no another day when I have an epiphany or some sort of realization. I'll be saying yes to the rest of my life with him which I've already mentally agreed to but what about when I age? When everyone around me is getting old and having kids, getting white-haired with their partners at their side, seeing grandchildren and eventually closing your eyes for the last time knowing you've done everything. Sure, I can say yes now and do everything physical while I'm still young but the more serious matters can't be dealt with, not now not ever. He takes the ring out of the box and the light reflects off it, making it shimmer like a star he'd gotten out of the night sky. He looks at me as if asking permission to take my left hand and I'm too stricken to do anything but let him. He brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses each knuckle before holding it out with the ring ready to be positioned. My fingers are straightened to make it easier to slide the ring on but at the last second, I recoil.

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