Little Lux

So, today has been extremely awkward. I haven't said a word to Harry and he hasn't tried to say anything to me. We take glances at each other but quickly turn away when we get caught out.
Lux helped most today, breaking the awkwardness and giving me something to do.

I was now sitting in the lounge room with Lux, bouncing her up and down in my lap as she giggled at me, when I heard the front door slam. The thumping around upstairs had stopped and I immediately guessed that Harry had gone out.
Sighing, I turned back to the little girl and began pulling faces at her. She gurgled again and reached her chubby hands up to squish my cheeks together. She was quite cute. I probably looked like a fool though...

The day consisted of playing with Lux and watching movies with her. She sat on top of the kitchen island bench and watched as I made and baked cookies and brownies. We pretty much pigged out on half of them as we watched 'The Grinch' (Real one, not cartoon)

I thought Lux wouldn't want to watch this version, but she just ended up cackling the entire time.
We had dinner as we watched The Grinch too and by the time the movie had ended, Lux was asleep next to me, leaning her body onto mine. Her cheek my squished up on my arm and I giggled, gently laying her down while I cleaned up.

"Right, time to get you to bed", I whisper, taking the little girl upstairs and into my bedroom where her crib sat. I gently lay her down and covered her with the blanket before walking away and back downstairs.

By now, it was pretty late.
I cleaned the kitchen and washed the dishes. I put left over food in the fridge in case Harry came back and was hungry. Maybe he was staying with one of the other boys. I wouldn't be surprised, it's been very awkward today.

I sat on the kitchen island where Lux sat earlier and I began finishing off the brownies. I was sitting in darkness but the moon shone through several windows around the house, brightening it up.
I think I sat their for hours before I heard the front door opening. I panicked for a moment but I sighed in relief as Harry walked in.

What happened next was unexpected.


A girl stumbled in behind Harry, giggling loudly and practically yelling as she spoke, "Ooh Harry, this is a lovely place you have!"
"Shh. You'll have to be quiet", Harry whispers.
I was shocked. And hurt. How could he do that to me, act like he liked me before leaving and coming back with another girl who was wearing the smallest pink dress I had ever seen.
"Sorry baby", she giggled and spoke like she was trying to be seductive. She wrapped her arms around Harry's waist and brought her lips up against his. They were messily making out and I thought I was about to throw up.
I don't think Harry was drunk, but she definitely was.
I tried to stay silent but ended up knocking the plate of brownies and cookies onto the floor. The plate smashed and food went everywhere.
Harry pulled away from the girl who then tried sucking on his neck. He looked my way, but I know he couldn't see me.
He pushed the un-named girl away before walking towards the kitchen with a frown.
He flicked the lights on and saw me sitting criss-cross on the island bench. His frown fell and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He had a look of sadness and regret. He was definitely not drunk.
"H-Hadley I'm s-", I cut him off.
"It's fine. I was the one who knocked the plate over, I said, climbing off the bench and attempting to pick up the glass.
I ended up cutting myself a couple of time and bleeding all over the floor.
I stood over the sink, rinsing my hand until it would stop breathing.
"I..I didn't know you would still be awake", he stuttered.
The girl stumbled her way in and gave me a disgusted look, "Ew, who the fuck is she?!"
"Uhh.. this is Hadley", Harry said, not taking his eyes off me as I swept the glass up and into the bin along with the food.
"Well HADLEY, I was in the middle of something important with Harry here, until you rudely interrupted. So now, if you would run along and leave us alone. Well, I don't think you can run with all that fatness you have but that would be great", she said in a bitchy tone.
I had my back to them as a little tear rolled down my cheek. It hurts when people call you fat, because you have always thought you were.
I quickly wiped it away and turned around to leave. "Uhh, Th-There's some dinner that I made in there if you want I-it", I say to Harry before quickly walking away.
I heard Harry talking to the girl. She began to whine and soon, they became shouts.
I couldn't hear what they were saying but the shouting soon stopped and the front door slammed.
I was confused. They probably decided to go some place else and have their sex fest, which I was glad about. But I was still hurt.
I guess my thoughts of me being fat became true.

I didn't sleep well that night. I couldn't get over the fact that he had enough guts to bring someone back into a house were me and a young child were.

He really is a pig. Just like I thought.



he next morning, I was up early with Lux again.
I walked down the stairs with her attached to my hip. As we walked into the kitchen, I was startled by Harry who was cooking over the stove. He looked at me and gave me a small smile. I didn't return it. I looked down before setting Lux on the counter, "What do you want for breakfast Lux?"
"I have that covered already. It will be ready in a moment", he says.
"You don't have to. I can make it for myself", I say quietly.
"You made dinner last night and I still ate it", he said.
He what? He ate my food? "Y-you were here?"
He nodded, looking at me again. "It was really good. Now, it's my turn"
"I said you don't have to", I fight back a bit annoyed that he kept her here. She was probably having a shower right now.
well, at least she isn't in my bathroom.
"Jesus Hadley, I want to", he said back louder than before. "Can't you see that this is my trying to say sorry? I thought you would be asleep and I didn't know what I was thinking"
"Even if I was asleep, you shoulder have brought anyone into MY house. how do I know she isn't dangerous?", I spat back.
"She hardly looked dangerous Hadley!", he said angrily, after he took the food off the stove and took a step towards me.
"Don't be fooled by everyone's looks Harry!", I say in the same tone he used.
"Will you just stop! I told her to leave last night anyway! She's gone now Hadley, stop being a bitch!", he shouted.
I took a step back from his words. A bitch?
On the bright side, she was gone. That means he didn't have sex with her?
"I didn't do anything with her! After you went upstairs I felt so bad and I told her to leave! She put up a fight, hence all the screaming but she ended up leaving!", he yelled, taking another step closer. He answered my question.
I took another step back.

"Whatever, I still don't know why you brought her back in the first place. You could have done it anywhere apart from here and I wouldn't have been an interruption", I say, taking Lux out of the room and setting her on the lounge, flicking the kids shows on.

I heard Harry angrily say something, which on infuriated me more.
"Breakfast is fucking ready", he soon shouted.
"Swear in front of my niece again, I dare you!", I shout back, lifting Lux back up and taking her to the kitchen.
I sat her in her seat as she began to eat her food. She was eating pancakes that were cut up into little pieces. Harry slammed my plate down in front of me, "Here", he said forcefully.
"Thanks", I say in the identical tone to his.
He sat down across from me with an angry glare on his face. I just stared at my food whilst eating. "God, you're so infuriating Hadley!"
"How?!"
"You wanna know why I brought that girl back?!", he shouted. Lux was near crying.
"Why Harry?!", I shouted. I didn't really care.
"BECAUSE I WANTED TO MAKE YOU FUCKING JEALOUS! AFTER WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY EVERYTHING WAS AWKWARD BETWEEN US AND I HAD TO GET MY MIND OFF THINGS!", he shouts angrily. He hadn't eaten any of his food yet.
Lux began to cry loudly. I was shocked. He tried to make me jealous?
I think that I was so shocked that I ended up dropping my knife and fork. I quickly picked up Lux and set her down on the ground. I grabbed our two plates and she began following me up to my bedroom, though the stopped when she was at the bottom of the stairs. I put the plates at my desk and ran back down for Lux. I lifted her onto my hip and walked into my bedroom, trying to sooth her. "It's alright Luxxy, Harry is just a bit grumpy. Don't be upset", I rocked her back and forth.

It took a while to calm her down, but once she did, we began to eat our breakfast. It was good, but I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about what harry said.
I was infuriating.
A bitch.
He was trying to make me jealous.
He felt bad.
Everything between us is awkward.
How he didn't sleep with the girl.

I was confused. But hurt at the same time.

He was really confusing. Like he was trying to make things better, but was doing it in an aggressive way.
I don't want him staying here if he is going to continue to scare Lux that way. Or me.
And I plan to tell him just that.

But, Am I jealous?

Notes