Clary´s POV:


My fingertips felt sore and I had the feeling that the words in front of my tired eyes got blurred now and then. Yawns left my mouse now and then and my body told me that way that he really wanted to go to sleep.

But my mind was more awake than ever. Once I had an idea what to write about the sentences seemed to had been just waiting to be written down.

Liam and me had put Rosy straight to sleep as soon as we had gotten home and she already fell asleep on Liam´s arms. She looked so peacefully and young and looking at her little perfectness made my heart ache again.

Rosy was full of life since she had never suffered any pain in her little lifetime and she must see life as a great adventure, being there to be explored by her.

“Thank you for taking us out and releasing my thoughts from the writing blockade”, I told Liam and he hugged me.

“Every time since we writers have to stick together whenever that´s the point.” He was such a lovely person and I hated even more what he had to go through in his life before.

“You can even call me when your blockade has nothing to do with writing. I´ll be here and listen”, I promised and he said that this fact would mean a lot to him.

Than he left to let me get busy and finally start working on my essay. I was thinking about a conclusion, a final phenomenal sentence as I heard the door get opened and someone entering the flat.

I could tell by the footsteps that it was Harry, but I was too deeply caught in my thoughts, afraid I would lose my my thread I kept on writing.

He seemed to stop in front of the door and I heard him taking a deep breath before the door of our bedroom opened and he stepped in.

“Hey, I am finally writing”, I said happily without interrupting doing so and staring at the screen in front of me where the black letters appeared one after another.

“That´s great”, he said and I could tell the second I heard his voice that something was wrong.

My finger stopped over the keyboard and I looked up. My eyes firstly fell on his shirt which looked quiet crumbled before they wandered up to his face.

I heard my voice snap a surprised breath and a panicked sound left my lips.

“What happened?”, I asked before I dropped my laptop from my chest and tried to get up under our sheets.

My feet were tangled and I nearly tripped and fell of the bed, but Harry stepped closer and caught me before I could hurt myself.

Unlike him I was still fine. His face was swollen and I could see the red bruise under his left eye which which would definitely turn green, blue and purple soon.

His lips were bleeding and he had a huge cut over his right eyebrow from where blood was horribly running over his cheek.

The blood looked frightening and his skin looked even whiter and more translucent than it probably was.

“Oh god Harry”, my voice was shaking under my surprise and my fear.

“Are you okay?”

My finger slowly moved to his face and I gently touched the bruise under his eye. As soon as they touched the sensitive skin he his face twisted in pain.

“I´m fin...”, he started, but I interrupted him before he could finish his sentence.

“Do not tell me that you´re fine Styles. You´re nowhere near being fine”, I said outraged.

“You should see the other guy, so believe me please, I am fine.” Even in this moment he was joking around.

“Stop making fun of this”, my voice was upset. Seeing him like that scared me.

“What happened?”, this time my voice was more urgent. What was he trying to hide from me?

“It´s a long story and it´s late...”, he trailed off.

“Don´t move”, I ordered before I stepped beside him and went out of the room.

My feet carried me to the bath where I searched for pain killers, plasters and soused a flannel. As I took a look in the mirror over the sink I tried to imagine my face how it looked like after I had gotten beaten up in the pharmacy incident.

I still could see every single bruise, every cut and every scratch and disgusted I turned my view down. My hands were shaking of fear and disgust and I tried to take some deep breaths to calm me down.

Me freaking out was probably the last thing that Harry needed right now. When I returned to him he had gotten out of his jacket and had sat down on our bed.

He looked tired and got through his knotted curls. When he heard me coming his eyes searched for mine and he gave me a smile. My eyes stayed locked into his, but I could not give back his smile.

Slowly I sat down next to him and started to carefully remove the blood from his beautiful face. We sat there in silence, none of us ready to start the conversation which was about to come up.

I was the one who started speaking. The cause were his hands. His knuckles were bruised and they looked like he must had hit the other really hard.

I could imagine how he must looked like and I wondered how his had to be damaged as well.

“Harry, please just tell me why on earth you were in a fight”, I begged and briefly moved my finger over his bloody knuckles.

“I don´t wanna scare you, Clary”, he responded and it was the first time he said my name since he came back.

It sounded so familiar and I knew it was safe in his mouth like something he really way afraid to break, if he would say it too loud or too harsh.

“You already did”, I told him the truth and his eyes got sad.

“As you know Zayn and me wanted to go through some points for the bakery again and we actually did quiet good. Somehow we seem to have the same opinion about lots of things and we were finished pretty early. Since I knew that you had to do your work we decided to go to a bar to have a beer together.”

His words came out slowly like he was waiting for my reaction after every single one. When I realized what he had just said I panicked.

“You were in a fight with Zayn?”, my voice got shrill and Zayn´s face appeared to my mind as I thought about him just as beaten up as Harry was alone in his room.

“No, no, Zayn and me are good. As I said working together was a good idea”, he tried to calm me down.

But if it was not Zayn who had punched Harry, then who had it done instead?

“First I didn´t recognized the guy at the other end of the bar, but I knew that he seemed familiar to me. I was trying so hard to find out where I had seen his face before, but then I realized.”

A guy? What kind of guy? I still did not got anything. Harry took another swallow before he finally spoke up again.

“The only time I had seen his face had been behind a glass window, so maybe that´s the reason why it took me so long to place his face.”

No, I could feel my face getting pale. The thought of him being so close to Harry and Zayn, the two people who meant the most to me was making me sick. My stomach turned and I tried to not throw up right there on the bed.

“Once I knew who he was I just couldn´t...”, Harry went silent again.

“...I just...seeing him there and knowing that he´s so close to you...and he clearly hadn´t been locked up after what he did...I just got up and started to kick his ass for what he did to you.”

I felt Harry´s eyes on me, but I knew that if I would look at him I would start either to cry or to scream so I looked my eyes on the floor.

“All I saw was your face after I found you...”, his voice broke and I heard the pain and the helplessness not to change anything about the situation.

“I think that Zayn and the bar manager made us stop, but I can´t say for sure. All I know is that he needed an ambulance because he looked really bad. I swear, if Zayn hadn´t stopped me this bastard wouldn´t have walked out that bar ever again.”

His voice frightened me. So cold, rude and angry. He did not even seemed to be the Harry I loved anymore when he was talking like that.

“Clary”, with a softer voice he moved his finger under my chin and he carefully forced me to look at him.

“I will not let anyone ever hurt you again, okay?”, his words are a promise, but I am afraid he do not know what this promise mean.

How will he protect me from anything bad in the world? He was not around me twenty four hours a day and still he could not protect me from failures and words which will hurt me badly.

But still his promise meant a lot to me and I could see in his deep green eyes that he was keen on holding that promise.

“Harry?”, his name comes out as a whisper.

“Yes?”, I feel like we are back to the beginning of all of this tonight.

His eyes are truthful and he is waiting patiently for my request.

“Please just promise me that you won´t risk your own face and body for me like that again, okay?”

As much as I loved him for protecting me and not being able to let him walk out of the bar, the more I loved him. The risk to actually get him hurt more than just bruises, cuts and bloody knuckles was terrifying.

“I´m sorry, but that´s something I really can´t promise. Ever since I´ve seen you so hurt I wanted nothing more than the chance to let this bastard suffer the way you did. How could he lay a hand on someone so much tinier and weaker than him?”, the last one he mumbled and it seemed like he was more talking to himself than to me.

“I love you”, the words escaped my lips before I was even thinking about telling him.

I was saying them on a regularly basis by now just because he knew it and it somehow was something I just let him know all the time.

But sometimes there were these moments were they meant just as much as one the first time I had said them out loud. Because sometimes it was the only thing I was sure about.

“That´s good because I love you”, he replied perfectly and this time I could return his smile. I felt it reach my eyes and that kind of weird hunger got me again.

It was something I had never felt like that before and it had absolutely nothing to do with food. My lips found his lips and I realized that his lips and his arms were already the most familiar things to me I knew.

It did not mattered where I was, not even the country mattered as long as I had Harry´s lips and arms with me.

Because he was my home. Home, Harry. Harry, home.

The taste of salty blood was the only thing that was different today.

“Never scare me that way again, you heard me?”, I mumbled against his lips and he nodded.

Slowly his lips moved down my neck before he carefully started to suck at my collar bones. A small moan escaped my lips.

My finger found their way to the button of his shirt on their own and I slowly unbottomed it before I shoved it down his beg.

His muscles were strained under my touch and I discovered them with my fingertips as he continued to kiss down my neck.

Suddenly he stopped and I wondered what was wrong. Harry´s eyes found mine and they interlocked into each other, a smile escaping my lips.

“You´re so beautiful it hurts”, he whispered and I felt my cheeks blush hardly.

“Stop lying Harry”, I mumbled back and reached out for his lips to make him shut up.

My hands found his belt and I opened it slowly before he did the undressing thing on me as well.

“Let´s just get rid of this unnecessary pieces of fabric”, he laughed and I joined in. We both got out of our clothes and somehow I realized that I had never been so comfortable being naked with someone than Harry.

Not even with my Mom or my sister. The knowledge that he was excepting me the way that I was, completely vulnerable too him made my heart ache again.

The same counted for me. To me Harry was pure perfection, even the flaws he had were perfect. I did not needed huge biceps or more abs. The way he was was everything I wanted. He gave me a wink as he realized that I was staring at his naked back and I loved him even more for that.

“Come here”, I breathed and pulled him closer to me. I kissed his bloody ankles and continued with his bruised face.

His hands moved up and down my side and he pulled me so close to him I thought I would suffocate. It still was not close enough. We fell back into the pillows and I did not knew, if this hunger would ever get any less.

I certainly did not hoped so. Our bodies found each other and we burned together. His hands on my body and mine on his. Our heartbeats close together, our breaths mixed hot in the air between us.

Sweaty naked skin on each other and his kisses everywhere, and I mean everywhere on me. We were exhausted and I rested my head on his chest as we laid in the still shining light from our night lamp.

Harry looked like he had been for a run and I giggled over his dark curls which looked messier than ever.

“We got way better”, Harry said and I gave him a puzzled look.

“What do you mean?” He laughed and his shook up and down under me.

“Remember that night I came over to visit you? To check if you were okay?” I sighed embarrassed and hid my face in the sheets.

“When I look back it had been horrible”, I mumbled into the sheets. Harry laughed again.

“It wasn´t. It was really okay, we were both nervous and it had been your first time. Therefore I think we did great”, he said.

I looked up and saw the smile he had on his lips in his green eyes.

“I did not even truly knew you back then”, I said and he chuckled.

“I think you did. I just wanted you to get to know me so badly I was willed to not hide anything from you right from the beginning.”

Harry was like my second part. Somehow we seemed to be two puzzle pieces and we were only completed when we were around each other.

“I´m so happy I found you Harry. Sometimes I´m really thanking God for letting me be there that day in the cafe”, I whispered and I saw something breaking in his eyes.

“You were like a blond present who was too afraid to talk to me and you were the cutest and most adorable thing that had ever came across my way just by being you”, he whispered back before he pressed his lips on mine.

Our kiss was breathtaking, but neither of us wanted to stop to catch some.

How was I supposed to tell him what I felt when I was around him? When I heard his voice over the phone? Whenever he walked through the door looking like a curly haired hot mess?

When he accepted me not talking because I was upset and hurt? The feeling I had on my skin whenever he touched me even just the slightest way?

Was love always like this and would it be like this ever after we were really married to each other? I certainly hoped so.

This felt like one of those big lovestories which were built on the smallest things.

“I can´t be without you anymore”, I breathed against his lips.

“I love you Clary Meyer”, he whispered back before we kissed again.

I thought I had to die that night out of happiness, but somehow my body held me together. Or maybe it were Harry´s arms, I do not know. All I know is that I am not just in love.

I am drunk on love.

Notes

no notes today. Because I am tired and stuff. Hope you liked it anyways.