Longing for you

“He wanted to propose to you?”, Simon squeezed beside me.

“Shocked me even more”, I answered honestly. My hand reached out for another french fry and I tugged it in the ketchup.

“I can´t believe he actually wanted to make you his wife! Already! That´s so romantic!”, he went on and nearly hopped out of his chair while the whole staff members and guests in the McDonalds already looked over here.

“Alright, calm down Simon!”, I laughed.

“Hopefully he doesn´t think I´m going to propose to him any time soon”, Felix whispered over to me and I gave him a smile.

“Hey, I heard that!”, Simon protested and I only shook my head over him.

“My parents are Catholics, they would kill me”, he tried to defend himself and I loved the way they acted around each other.

“Did you already told Taylor?”, Simon questioned me and I shook my head.

“I had no time yet. Harry picked me up straight after work and now I´m here. Also his Mum invited us to a game evening tonight”, I let them know.

“Sounds fun”, Felix said and I gave him another smile. He was such a friendly guy, never to loud and I really liked his company even though we only saw each other like three times until now.

“It could be, if there wouldn´t be that fact that we decided to tell her about Harry´s and mine plans for the future”, I explained and already felt a knot in my stomach when I thought about it. What would she say, if she hears about Harry ending his college? Mine would be rather furious than cool about it for sure.

“He´s over age, so he can decided what to do with his life”, Simon shrugged his shoulders, trying to cheer me up.

“Just imagine him also telling her he had just proposed to me after he broke up with his girlfriend he had for over six months like a week ago”, I said and had already to laugh while letting the words out. What a mess.

“I think I would make sure someone´s filming the whole scene, so you can put it up on YouTube after wards to get thousands of clicks”, Simon uttered and I had to laugh even harder. God, I had missed him and his temper as well.

“I´m sorry we didn´t had any more time to spend together”, I said sadly and he gave me an excepting smile.

“We did good, I guess when we´re considering the facts that I´m about to write my A-levels next week and I had a lot of learning to do for it and you´re had this difficult love triangle thing going on”, he said.

“Don´t forget about the fact that some guys used my face as a punching bag”, I remembered him, but I knew I wasn´t funny.

“They should burn in hell!”, Simon stated angrily and I nodded in agreement.

“You should finally stay to the timetable I´m always making up for you to make sure you´re staying in touch, but you always end up forgetting about the skype conventions!”, he said outraged and I promised I would try my best.

“This is not goodbye, Clary”, he suddenly said and I felt not only my eyes on him, but Felix as well. We were both keen on hearing what he had to say.

“You could always come back! No one else despite you can decide where you´re heart is and you can always return to that place.”

His words were really cute and they reminded me of the black letters, which had been all over my wall in my room here in Holmes Chapel.

“Home is where the heart is!”, Harry had inspired me to write it down and make me feel like this could be my home as well.

If there was one thing I had learned in this crazy time since then it was that the quote was right. If your heart is empty in your favorite cities and no ones there to make you smile when your walking the lovely streets you felt empty.

The only question was: Where was my heart?

…..

The sound of the doorbell sounded so familiar that my heart flattered a little bit before Anne opened the door. She looked flawless as always, wearing a big smile all over her face.

With that she took most of my anxiety towards this meeting since I had no idea, how she felt about the whole break up with Aimee and coming back together with me thing.

As she also said: “It´s so good to see you again, Clary” and she pulled me in a tight hug all of the fear was gone. She pulled away to take a better look at me and her eyes got stuck on my face and again I knew what she saw.

“Harry already told me about it. I just hope they find these guys, darling”, she showed her pity and I smiled it away.

“I´m fine, really”, and with that I tried to hide my face behind my hair.

“C´mon in! We ordered some Chinese food and it´s already getting cold”, she pushed me to the kitchen. Harry and his stepfather already waited for us and his face lit up as he saw me stepping into the room. Quickly he stood up and came over to give me a kiss on the cheek.

“You´re here”, was all he mumbled into my ear and I gave him a big smile. My heart was with Harry. Whenever he was away I felt lost and insecure. Harry was my home.

The dinner went pretty well since Anne asked me about my life and what happened in the last six months. Harry was his cheeky, funny self and his stepfather told some pretty bad knock knock jokes and I had to laugh badly as I realized where Harry´s talent for them came from.

But somehow we were already near the end of the evening and neither of us had already lost a word about our plans for the future. Harry gave me a look and I knew he was thinking the same.

“So, uhm...i thought I should tell you what I´m planning to do with my life now. As you probably know I was kind of lost on my track lately and I guess I had just worked everything out”, he started and I saw both of their faces waiting for the rest of his speech.

“Becoming a lawyer is just really not something I wanna do for my living. But being with Clary is something I´m pretty sure of. Since she´s leaving in three days, I decided I´m going with her and in that time I´ll try to figure out what I really wanna do”, he dropped the bomb. I expected words of disagree and any kind of trouble, but Anne completely shocked me with her reaction.

“You think that´s a good decision?”, she questioned Harry and he seemed just as perplex as I was.

“Uhm...yeah, the best I can think of right now. I´m not happy with my choice of my college and I think it´s just wrong to keep continuing something I´m only in with half of my heart.” She slowly nodded and looked at me then.

“You´re alright with this as well? Clary, you´re still going to school”, she reminded me.

“I know, but I have to come up with something for my future as well and there´s only some weeks left before I´m able to graduate”, I said and nervously wiped my hands over the tablecloth. Carelessly Harry placed his ones over mine to stop them from moving and calming me down.

Anne looked up from our hands and said: “You´re aware of all your decision brings with you?”

Harry nodded quickly and answered: “I still have most of my money from the bakery and it was always meant for something like a road trip. We either stay at Clary´s or I´ll just look for a room in a commune somehow. We come up with something for our future and then we decide on how we´ll like to spend the next years”, he explained to her.

“Honey, what do you say?”, Anne asked her husband, who only shrugged his shoulders.

“They´re both over age and they should take responsibility for their lives somehow.”

“Does this mean you´re okay with that?”, Harry asked and looked as surprised as I was on how this talk was going.

“If you´re unhappy with studying law Harry, you should look for something else. Honestly, you weren´t really keen of doing it right from the start and I had the feeling you just did to do anything at all”, she uttered and I saw in Harry´s face that she was right. Becoming a lawyer was really something Harry never wanted to do for the rest of his life.

“Just take care of yourself´s, okay?”, she questioned both of us and we agreed quickly.

“And as soon as you two figured anything out, you´re going to call us, alright? You have to promise, that´s my only condition.”

“We´ll do, Mum”, Harry promised and I lend over to hug her.

“Thank you”, I said as I smelled her shampoo in my noise.

“You two are people, who deserve to be happy and you´re young. You should do crazy things before it´s too late”, she explained and I hugged her even tighter.

Nothing stood in between Harry´s and my life together now. I thought at least.

Harry´s POV:

“I can´t believe they reacted like that”, Clary said as she climbed under the sheets and made herself comfortable.

That view, her being in bed in a one of mine shirts, which made was like a dress for her, made my heart jump. Definitely something I could get used to for the rest of my life.

“Me neither. I had already prepared a speech to convince them that we´re making the right decision, but there had been no need at all”, I said as I got out of my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head. As I turned I saw her smirking over to me.

“What´s the matter?”, I asked her and looked down at my body to find something unusual. But besides my tattoos I found nothing.

“You´re hot, Mr. Styles”, she said and I laughed over her comment.

“I am?”, I asked cheekily and started to dance and tried to twerk like Miley Cyrus.

“Oh, God no!”, she giggled and hid her face in her palms.

“I take everything back! Just stop moving like that!”, she squeezed and I jumped on the bed, not thinking about stopping.

“Harry!”, she protested, but I only asked her, if something was wrong. I pulled her up and she stood awkwardly next me for some seconds, before she got with it and started dancing in a lot better way than me.

We ended up somewhere between weird dance moves and jumping on the bed, while our laughter got louder and louder. A feeling of freedom flashed through my nerves and I enjoyed ever second of it.

Therefore I pulled Clary closer and we stumbled and fell on the bed, our bodies tangled into each other. Giggling and out of breath we laid there and tried to hold on to that moment.

I think I did good”, I breathed out and she giggled gorgeously.

“Well, you could have done worse”, she said and I started to tickle her.

“Stop it, Harry! No, no, no...”, she squeezed, but I was stronger than her and I pinned her hands over her head. Therefore she had no way to move at all and I realized the power I just had.

Slowly I reached down and kissed her. Our lips moved on each other like they never done anything else for our whole lives. My tongue slipped over her lips and she moaned against me.

“Say that again”, I mumbled and she did.

“You´re a horrible dancer.” My kisses went down her neck and I carefully sucked on the skin under her collarbone, licking over it and breathing against that part. She shivered under it and begged me to stop, but every of her try to free her hands failed and she was delivered to me.

“I´m a bad dancer, probably I´m a bad kisser as well”, I shrugged my shoulders and she sighed, too stubborn to give in. My lips went to her ear and playfully nibbled on it.

“Alright, alright”, she pleased me.

“Huh? You have something to tell me?”, I asked her. She rolled her eyes at my words, but nodded.

“You´re the best dancer I´ve ever seen and your twerking is better than Miley´s”, she said and I gave her a smirk.

“And you´re the best liar I know”, I said but freed her hands before kissing her again.

“We should get some sleep”, she told me after we had to end our make out session before we ran out of breath.

“If my girl says so...”, I said even though I could think about better things than sleeping right now. But she looked tired and I knew she had to get up early tomorrow to go to work.

“We also need to pack somewhere tomorrow or at least the day after”, she said as she tried to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

“I can do most of that since I have nothing to do”, I offered and she gave me a thankfully smile.

“I can´t wait until this”, she gave me a kiss and got closer so I could pull her in a hug and spoon her tiny body, “gets everyday life.” I felt myself smiling at the same thought.

“I sleep better, when I´m near you”, she got on and admitted.

“The same here”, I told her and kissed her neck. She let out a small happy sound and interlocked our finger.

“Can you tell me something?”, she asked and I giggled.

“Tell you something? Like a good night story?” I could tell she was smiling, even though I couldn´t see her face.

“No, more something like making me fall asleep faster”, she got clearer and I thought about it some seconds before I started to hum Stevie´s Wonders “Isn´t she lovely?” and I knew she was reminded of that first night we met as well.

“That´s perfect”, she yawned and I knew I didn´t had to do it for a long time. And I was right: She fell asleep before I had finished once.

Notes