The new start
Chapter thirty-four, "The notebook"
When I had gotten the crying Chloe up to the apartment the guilt hit me, what kind of friend doesn´t run after her best friend when she is sad? I mean first I had spoken to Louis for a while and then I had gone after her. I don´t deserve Chloe like a friend, I thought and sighed.
"I am so sorry, Chloe. I don´t know what to say." I said and gave her a glass of water.
"No, don´t be, you had no idea I wasn´t over Louis." She said and I had no idea how she could smile while her tears were streaming down her face.
"No but...I..." I started but Chloe interrupted me.
"I told you it was fine, let´s try outfits for tomorrow." She said and that made me feel even more guilty. This moment when Chloe was sad, I made it all about me. Me feeling guilty, me feeling sad. There has to be a limit for how selfish you can be? But I followed her and when she opened her closet I almost passed out. It was almost twice as big as Carrie´s in sex and the city. This girl was unbelieveble.
"Shit, that´s a lot of clothes." I exclaimed and she laughed. We helped each other picking out outfits and I have to say it was not easy with all this clothes but I was really happy with mine when we were finished. It was a pretty simple with a skirt and a white T-shirt, I hoped it wouldn´t get to cold but Chloe said it was really hot inside the school. Chloe´s outfit was pretty alike mine but she had blue shoes and that made the outfite a little more Chloe and a little more happy. By the way If I was going to freeze, I wondered what Chloe would do. Now the clock was 9 pm and I had a feeling I would not get much sleep this night. But Chloe looked very tired.
"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked and she nodded. She handed over some movies and I flipped through them, most of them were films I had never seen before but then I saw the perfect one, the notebook, my favourite movie.
"This one." I said and Chloe smiled.
"That´s my favourite." She said and I really liked how alike we are in many ways, in many ways we are very unlike too but when it comes to taste we are like twins. We jumped up in her cozy bed and she put on the movie. After maybe one minute Chloe were asleep and now it was nothing except the film left to keep my thoughts away. The film didn´t work so good and soon they were all over me. I wanted to go through my life, have control over it. That´s why I came here in the first place, to have control over my life. I didn´t want to be the girl I had been. The girl who had sex with everyone she saw and then she just left before the guy had woken up. The girl that had no feelings because, I have feelings. I had just pushed them further and further inside and then it got to a point where it just ended and if I stopped being that girl everything would come out. Every single feeling I had carried for years inside of me would get out, all at once and that´s something I couldn´t handle. I had no idea that it would end up with someone dead. The memories came flowing back of that night.
It was a warm night in August, Summer had one of her parties. It was like any night, I was very drunk and so was Summer. Everyone was leaving because it was almost sunrise and then this guy came over to me. He didn´t say anything, he just started kissing me. I felt like I didn´t want to and I screamed for Summer. She came out with a big video camera. She said something about that we should make some great trick on him after I had slept with him. You see we had this thing, we took turns sleeping with different guys and then we did something to them, like a revenge for that night when someone had gotten Summer pregnent and left her with the baby, she gave it up but I had always known she regretted that. Summer would never tell me who it was, she said it didn´t matter that all boys were the same. That´s when we started this club against guys, anyway every night we filmed the trick we did. I wasn´t in the mood for sleeping with him, I just wanted to go to sleep so I had suggested we would make the trick right away. Summer said yes on one condition, it had to be a good trick. I tried to come up with something but with a guy kissing me every second and a video camera taping my every move it wasn´t that easy so I panicked and I hit him with a stone. I didn´t mean to hit him that hard but I did and he fell down in the water. All I could see was his hand and the bubbles that came up after him...
"Aaaahhhggh" I screamed, the memory was too painful I could not do this anymore, I want to die, I thought. Then I realized Chloe had woken up.
"What´s up?" She asked with a confused look.
"Nothing just a nightmare, go back to sleep." I said and in a minute she was asleep again. Now I didn´t want to think anymore, I wanted to shut out my thoughts. So I tried to concentrate on the movie but it was impossible.Someone except Summer knew about this, the worst night of my life and I had no idea what to do. Should I turn myself in or should I just wait and see? Maybe it´s just Summer who is joking around with me? Then another thought hit me, a thought I had thought many times before, but it got more real. What if somehow for real, my parents or Chloe find out? It is possible because Summer has the tape. But what would happen to me then? How big is the punishment for murderer? Is it life time? In the middle of my thoughts my phone started ringing. I shook myself, tried to get the voice that´s always right to say that it was fine, I would be fine, everyone around me would be fine. But there was no voice, just the phone.
"Hi, it´s Amy." I answered and as soon as I heard Harry´s voice it was like ton lifted from my shoulders.
"Hi babe, sorry I didn´t call earlier." I tried to remind myself that Summer maybe heard this, or was it possible to listen to phone calls too or was it just text? I had no idea but that was a risk I was willing to take. If she heard it I could just say it was a part of the game.
"It´s fine." I said and smiled for myself.
"Great, so I wonder if you and Chloe need a ride for school tomorrow?" He asked and my smile grew even bigger.
"Yes, thank you." I said.
"Great, I´ll pick you guys up at 8 am, hope you like motorcycles, goodnight."
"Goodnight" I laughed and hung up. I realized I needed some sleep if I wanted to look good tomorrow so I turned of the TV and when I was just about to crawl down beside Chloe my phone started to ring again.
"Damn it." I whispered and got up on my legs again. Why does it always ring when you are going to sleep?
"Hello." I said with a tired voice.
"Hi, is it Amy?" I heard a voice say.
"Yeah, who is this?" I asked, a bit confused.
"It´s Niall." Then I recognized the voice, of course it was Niall.
"Hello Niall." I said and I was happy he still talked to me after the whole Harry thing.
"Can you meet me in the park now?" He asked and I looked around, was he kidding with me?
"Now? It´s 10 pm! Are you sure?" I asked and put on a cozy outfit in case he wasn´t kidding.
"It will only take a minute." He said and sounded really nervous.
"I´ll be there in a minute." I said and sighed before I grabbed the keys to Chloe´s apartment and ran out.
"I am so sorry, Chloe. I don´t know what to say." I said and gave her a glass of water.
"No, don´t be, you had no idea I wasn´t over Louis." She said and I had no idea how she could smile while her tears were streaming down her face.
"No but...I..." I started but Chloe interrupted me.
"I told you it was fine, let´s try outfits for tomorrow." She said and that made me feel even more guilty. This moment when Chloe was sad, I made it all about me. Me feeling guilty, me feeling sad. There has to be a limit for how selfish you can be? But I followed her and when she opened her closet I almost passed out. It was almost twice as big as Carrie´s in sex and the city. This girl was unbelieveble.
"Shit, that´s a lot of clothes." I exclaimed and she laughed. We helped each other picking out outfits and I have to say it was not easy with all this clothes but I was really happy with mine when we were finished. It was a pretty simple with a skirt and a white T-shirt, I hoped it wouldn´t get to cold but Chloe said it was really hot inside the school. Chloe´s outfit was pretty alike mine but she had blue shoes and that made the outfite a little more Chloe and a little more happy. By the way If I was going to freeze, I wondered what Chloe would do. Now the clock was 9 pm and I had a feeling I would not get much sleep this night. But Chloe looked very tired.
"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked and she nodded. She handed over some movies and I flipped through them, most of them were films I had never seen before but then I saw the perfect one, the notebook, my favourite movie.
"This one." I said and Chloe smiled.
"That´s my favourite." She said and I really liked how alike we are in many ways, in many ways we are very unlike too but when it comes to taste we are like twins. We jumped up in her cozy bed and she put on the movie. After maybe one minute Chloe were asleep and now it was nothing except the film left to keep my thoughts away. The film didn´t work so good and soon they were all over me. I wanted to go through my life, have control over it. That´s why I came here in the first place, to have control over my life. I didn´t want to be the girl I had been. The girl who had sex with everyone she saw and then she just left before the guy had woken up. The girl that had no feelings because, I have feelings. I had just pushed them further and further inside and then it got to a point where it just ended and if I stopped being that girl everything would come out. Every single feeling I had carried for years inside of me would get out, all at once and that´s something I couldn´t handle. I had no idea that it would end up with someone dead. The memories came flowing back of that night.
It was a warm night in August, Summer had one of her parties. It was like any night, I was very drunk and so was Summer. Everyone was leaving because it was almost sunrise and then this guy came over to me. He didn´t say anything, he just started kissing me. I felt like I didn´t want to and I screamed for Summer. She came out with a big video camera. She said something about that we should make some great trick on him after I had slept with him. You see we had this thing, we took turns sleeping with different guys and then we did something to them, like a revenge for that night when someone had gotten Summer pregnent and left her with the baby, she gave it up but I had always known she regretted that. Summer would never tell me who it was, she said it didn´t matter that all boys were the same. That´s when we started this club against guys, anyway every night we filmed the trick we did. I wasn´t in the mood for sleeping with him, I just wanted to go to sleep so I had suggested we would make the trick right away. Summer said yes on one condition, it had to be a good trick. I tried to come up with something but with a guy kissing me every second and a video camera taping my every move it wasn´t that easy so I panicked and I hit him with a stone. I didn´t mean to hit him that hard but I did and he fell down in the water. All I could see was his hand and the bubbles that came up after him...
"Aaaahhhggh" I screamed, the memory was too painful I could not do this anymore, I want to die, I thought. Then I realized Chloe had woken up.
"What´s up?" She asked with a confused look.
"Nothing just a nightmare, go back to sleep." I said and in a minute she was asleep again. Now I didn´t want to think anymore, I wanted to shut out my thoughts. So I tried to concentrate on the movie but it was impossible.Someone except Summer knew about this, the worst night of my life and I had no idea what to do. Should I turn myself in or should I just wait and see? Maybe it´s just Summer who is joking around with me? Then another thought hit me, a thought I had thought many times before, but it got more real. What if somehow for real, my parents or Chloe find out? It is possible because Summer has the tape. But what would happen to me then? How big is the punishment for murderer? Is it life time? In the middle of my thoughts my phone started ringing. I shook myself, tried to get the voice that´s always right to say that it was fine, I would be fine, everyone around me would be fine. But there was no voice, just the phone.
"Hi, it´s Amy." I answered and as soon as I heard Harry´s voice it was like ton lifted from my shoulders.
"Hi babe, sorry I didn´t call earlier." I tried to remind myself that Summer maybe heard this, or was it possible to listen to phone calls too or was it just text? I had no idea but that was a risk I was willing to take. If she heard it I could just say it was a part of the game.
"It´s fine." I said and smiled for myself.
"Great, so I wonder if you and Chloe need a ride for school tomorrow?" He asked and my smile grew even bigger.
"Yes, thank you." I said.
"Great, I´ll pick you guys up at 8 am, hope you like motorcycles, goodnight."
"Goodnight" I laughed and hung up. I realized I needed some sleep if I wanted to look good tomorrow so I turned of the TV and when I was just about to crawl down beside Chloe my phone started to ring again.
"Damn it." I whispered and got up on my legs again. Why does it always ring when you are going to sleep?
"Hello." I said with a tired voice.
"Hi, is it Amy?" I heard a voice say.
"Yeah, who is this?" I asked, a bit confused.
"It´s Niall." Then I recognized the voice, of course it was Niall.
"Hello Niall." I said and I was happy he still talked to me after the whole Harry thing.
"Can you meet me in the park now?" He asked and I looked around, was he kidding with me?
"Now? It´s 10 pm! Are you sure?" I asked and put on a cozy outfit in case he wasn´t kidding.
"It will only take a minute." He said and sounded really nervous.
"I´ll be there in a minute." I said and sighed before I grabbed the keys to Chloe´s apartment and ran out.
Notes
Hello, last chapter for today sorry :( But at least you got two ;) Now I am actually tired even if it´s only 11 pm here in Sweden lol :P Well anyway hope you liked this one/ kisses EDo you think anything will happen tomorrow? In that case, what?
What do you think Niall wants?
@stolemyheart
Did you die because of your beauty or something? :0
4/27/14