A Long Walk Down

It had been a week of pure bliss. Not a single thing went wrong between them; it was one just smooth sailing ship. Most of the time, when they were not at work, was spent in Liam’s apartment getting to know each other again and learning to become a real family. Gray loved every minute of it. She felt calm and secure for the first time a long while. Spencer loved her Dad just as much as any other day, and no issues being around him. Gray spent most of their nights taking pictures of them interacting together.

“Hello this is Gray Cameron.”

“Hello Gray Cameron.” His voice made a smile erupt on her face.

“Why are you calling me,” she asked nicely.

“I wanted to hear your voice, I miss you,” Liam cooed over the phone. Gray blushed again and sat lower in her chair. She prayed no one walked by at this exact moment.

“You you saw me a whole four hours ago right,” she played back.

“I know, but listen. Would you be willing to go on a date tonight? My treat, I even found you a babysitter,” Liam asked.

“I would love that,” she smiled into the phone. Gray couldn’t remember the last time they had a real, official date that wasn’t his work function or having to bring Spencer along.

“Lovely. Meet me here when you get done, love you.” Liam hung up the phone before she even had a chance to respond back to him.

“You cheeky bastard,” she mumbled, smiling to herself. Date night could be fun.

----

“It’s open,” Liam shouted behind the door. Gray adjusted Spencer in her arms and somehow maneuvered the door to open. Looks like chivalry really did die.

“Gee thanks for the help there,” Gray stated in a tone. Liam wasn’t visible, but his mother was. Karen was here. Crap.

“Oh hello Karen.” Gray could feel the blush rising from her neck and taking over her face. She made a mental note to bitch Liam out for this, a warning could be nice.

“Hello dear. Oh my, she’s gotten so big,” Karen gushed, tears brewing in her eyes. Little Spencer squirmed and smiled at her grandma, almost knowing exactly who she is.

“You can take her if you’d like. She’s a drooling machine these days.” Karen didn’t skip a beat grabbing the blonde baby from her.

“She’s grown so much since last night. Liam showed me pictures, but definitely didn’t expect her to be this big.” Karen turned her attention to the baby, “you are the cutest baby ever. We are going to have a nice time tonight, aren’t we?” Gray’s hand began to fidget again.

“Do you happen to know where Liam is,” she asked.

“I believe he is in his room dear,” Karen told her, not taking her attention off Spencer. Gray took it as a cue to go find her boyfriend, the great man who withholds information.

“Gray,” Karen started. Gray spun around in the hallway and looking at her.

“I’m very glad to see you.” She knew she meant in sincerely. There had never been ill feelings between them, just a room full of awkwardness. It had never been that open arms feeling Gray thought she would receive from her boyfriend’s family. Before the big breakup dinners and meet ups always seemed stiff, like a tin man not being able to bend at the seams. Gray wondered often back them on why she didn’t invest in a flask, liquor would have been helpful.

“You too Karen,” she genuinely smiled before stepping into Liam’s bedroom and shutting the door.

“Alright, where are you hiding,” Gray hissed, willing to berate him with words.

“Closet.” He was going to die. Gray ventured into the spacious walk in closet and closed the door.

“What the hell Liam? You didn’t feel like telling me your MOTHER would be here?” God, he looked hot. This wasn’t good, she couldn’t battle her man like this.

“This isn’t my fault Gray. She showed up announced. Harry was supposed to be here but of course she sent him home. There was nothing I can do, and she should see her granddaughter.” She took a step back from him. He had that tone, the tone he used on everyone else but her. This was not the time to be rude, especially right before they were to go out.

“What’s going on,” Gray asked concern in her tone. Part of her wanted to bitch him out even more for his bratty attitude but she nixed that.

“It’s been a long day.” Liam sighed and turned away from her. Gray bit her lip. It was clear something was wrong; he hadn’t been this distance in the past week. His shoulders stiffened under the light blue dress skirt. Gray watched his muscles mold to the fabric, holding in the weight of the world on his body. She stepped behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, holding as tight as she could. Gray wanted to be here for him. It was a given something was wrong that he didn’t want to talk about. Liam’s hands closed over hers making her squeeze tighter.

“What ever it is Liam, I still love you.” He turned around and pulled her body into his. Gray could smell the cologne wafting off his shirt, making her insides turn warm.

“I know, I love you very much. Shall we go?” He opened the closet door and reached out for her hand.

“Where are we going anyways,” she asked ask they left the room. Liam’s thumb skimmed along hers. A smile came over his face, easing Gray’s mood about the situation.

“Dinner.” They walked in to see Karen on the couch still letting Spencer play with her necklace.

“You two go have fun, we are good here,” Karen told them, but really not paying attention. Cute bouncing babies were far much more fun than boring adults. Liam took it as their cue and pulled Gray towards the door.

“Be home by midnight at the latest.” Liam held the door open, letting Gray slide by him. She held onto his arm, letting him take the lead.

“You ready,” he asked. She smiled up at him.

“Always.”

----

“When you said we were going out to eat, I didn’t quite expect this.” Gray mumbled, finding his special location quite weird. Liam drove them through the busy streets of London, only to end up at the recording studio, which was practically his second home. It wasn’t her ideal spot for a date.

“I know, but have an open mind,” Liam smiled, turning off the SUV and jumping out. Gray followed suit and joined him by the front door.

“Is anyone here,” she asked. A date could easily turn into a party with those boys around.

“No love, no one is around. Do you really think I would do that to you?” Gray didn’t answer, she knew the truth. He wasn’t THAT neglectful of a boyfriend. Liam led her through the door and down the empty, darkened hallway. The entire building was extremely quiet, not the usual look for a recording studio.

“I asked the owner for this, he is a cool lad. No one is here except us. This way.” They headed up the narrow staircase, going up three floors until running into the roof access door.

“What is this,” Gray asked with a coy smile on her face. He had something planned, she could feel it. Liam said nothing and opened the door the roof. White, soft lights hung from the top of the building, going around the roof area, followed by candles set up on a small table for one. A bottle of wine chilled next to it, and there was a fire going in the small pit next to the table.

“They use the area for parties or get together. Me and the boys have spent many nights up here getting into trouble,” Liam explained,” shall we?” They walked over the table and sat down. Gray couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off her face. She always thought she would get used to him, even back when they first met. Liam was the surprising type, he liked to go out of his way to make someone feel love and appreciated. It wasn’t just for Gray though, his big heart stretched out to their family and friends.

“How did you get food up here?” She asked. A big steaming bowl of chicken fettuccini sat in front of her. A groan from her stomach came in anticipation.

“I have my ways,” Liam laughed giving her a flirty smile. Gray rolled her eyes and stabbed at her dinner.

“Well, your little minions could do my laundry while they are at it too,” she muttered at him.

“That can be arranged. Now eat your food.” To say it was delicious was an understatement. Gray had a hard time holding in the moans from every bite. The alfredo sauce had to be homemade, along with the noodles, and the chicken was cooked to perfection. Mid bite, she looked up to see Liam smirking at her.

“Wha..” It was hard to talk with a mouthful of food.

“You always surprise me with your love of meals,” he smiled. Gray blushed and took another sip of wine. Liam cleared his throat and looked at her. Oh no, something was up. This is when he drops he ball. The huge ball filled with worms, disgust and probably something that would make her cry. Gray held tight t her glass knowing she would need reinforcements.

“I just found this out today, so don’t think I lured you here on purpose. Well, half I knew. Still though love, I wanted to take you out and be with you, it has nothing to do with my job. I know.. I know in the past I had issues trying to separate myself from all of the band stuff and making sure you and Spencer’s needs where met. I don’t want you to think I’m doing that now. I know I can find the space between them, it’s just that this something I got out voted on. I hope.”

“Liam, you are rambling, spit it out,” Gray stated, cutting him off. Her hand was so sweaty she was surprised the glass wasn’t on the floor by now.

“I have to go to Los Angeles, we have been asked to be a presenter for the movie awards.” Gray let out the giant breath she had been holding. That’s it? She expected worse, so much worse.

“You’ve been holding that in? Honey, that’s not an issue.”

“I want you to come with me. “ Well, that is a different playing field. Going across the country on a plane, let alone an ocean too was a tough one.

“That would be.. hard.. and difficult with Spencer.” Gray spoke slowly, taking the time to find the right words. Giving their history, one wrong word could turn into a huge yelling spree.

“I know. I was hoping you would be okay with leaving her here, with my mum. So we could go alone.” The look of fear had covered his face waiting her answer.

“Wow. I haven’t been away from her like that, can I think about it?” Gray asked. Sleeping on it seemed like the best choice. She reached over and poured herself another glass of wine. It was greatly needed.

“Of course. There is something else I need to tell you.” Gray waved her hand signaling him to continue.

“We are going on tour. The States first.” Shit. There is the shit storm she had been waiting for. Of course they would. With another CD out and taking such a leave off, it’s almost expected of them.

“When?” Gray’s voice came out so small he could barely hear her.

“End of August until the beginning of November. We get a break and start again over here in the middle of January.” Four months was too long to be away from him. That would be a third of the year, a whole season of playing phone tag and random late night Skype dates.

“That’s a long time,” her eyes drifted off to the sky. She knew looking at him would only make it worse. Tears would come falling out of her eyes, and that wasn’t the plan for tonight.

“Gray I want you to come with us. Spencer too.” She made the move to speak, but Liam stopped her.

“I’ve already been in talks with management on this. We would have two buses, instead of all of us in one. It’s pretty obvious Perrie and Zayn will be getting engaged soon. It would be us two in one, and the rest of the boys in another. This could work Gray, I want you there.” Engaged. The word stung hearing it come out of his mouth. Her eyes absentmindedly trailed back to her empty ring finger. A part of her wished she still had her ring, she missed the beauty and symbolism in it.

“Gray, love, can you say something?” Beads of sweat began to form at the top of his forehead.

“What about my job?” How could she leave a place she loved?

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but you could leave. Start our own business or we may need a tour photographer here.” Gray shook her head. No, she wasn’t going to work for the ‘band.’ That was never the plan, even from the get go. Last thing she wanted was to be treated like some charity case.

“I have to think about this Liam, I can’t make a decision on this.” Gray reached for her glass only to see it empty. Two glasses of wine down in such a short period of time, thank God she didn’t drive.

“Of course. I just wanted to tell you as soon as I knew.” It had looked like his prized puppy had gotten hit by a car. Gray sighed and got out of her seat. Definitely not how the night was supposed to go. They are in love, not a random set of people having an awkward dinner. Gray walked over to him and sat down fast in his lap. Liam didn’t miss a beat, wrapping his arms around her waist and locking their fingers.

“Liam I love you with everything I got, but I cannot uproot my life again for you. This is a big change you are laying on my shoulders. Just let me think about it.” Their foreheads rested again each other and Gray looked into his eyes. Could she possibly do this again with her life? Make another leap of faith into a huge change and expect it to work? Every other time she tried it went horribly wrong.

“Just think about it okay?” He asked, his eyes clouding up with tears. Gray wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body into his. They sat there together, so close air couldn’t pass between their bodies. Gray felt her own tears brewing back she had to be strong and stand her ground. Spencer was her number one thought now, everything she wanted came after her. Gray held on to him knowing that their future was more up in the air than ever.

“I’m sorry Gray, I didn’t want our night to end like this. Can we talk about something else? Anything.” Liam pulled back, quickly brushing the tears off his face. Gray smiled and stood.

“I say we finish this bottle by the fire and make fun of people in our lives.” Liam gave her a reassuring smile and followed.

----

“You were on the Face Time call! No way,” Gray shouted. They had finished the bottle hours ago, but felt too comfortable to leave.

“I was. I made them call you in New Year’s. They were so drunk I’m surprised it even made since,” Liam laughed. He thought back New Year’s and having to beg them to dial her. A hundred dollars in liquor to be exact. He just wanted to hear her voice, somewhat see her face and know she was safe.

“I should have known you’d be listening most of the time,” Gray admitted.

“I should have been a man called you myself.” Gray moved closer and laid a soft kiss on his lips.

“Thank you love.” Gray gave him a wink. She was ready to go home, definitely. She tried to stand, but the amount of wine in her system, causing her to follow back into the comfortable seat.

“Whoa Gray, are you okay,” Liam asked concerned. Gray started to giggle. “Never mind, I see the liquor had it you. Come on, I think it’s time to go.” He held her up with his hand under her armpit and one on her elbow.

“I’m not a child,” Gray pouted, not pleased.

“You always were an easy drunk,” Liam laughed. Gray swatted him with her free hand.

“I am not, you just buy extremely strong bottles.” Liam chuckled again as they walked together closely. Gray could feel the fire brewing her body. They stood so close together, their skin touching at every moment. It had been a long, long time since she had been with him in that way. Right now, she missed it.

“I know that look Gray,” Liam warned next to her. He could feel it too. She stopped and pressed her body into him. Liam’s heart was beating so fast Gray could feel like through his skin.

“I want you Liam,” she whispered, staring him down. She needed him, that realize.

“We can’t. At least not here.” It was agonizing, her pushing on every sensitive part of his body with his.

“Let’s go home then.” Her eyebrow was in suggestion as she pulled his arm and headed back down the building steps. Sure, there were plenty of spots in the empty building to get the job done, but that felt so dirty to Liam. Gray deserved to be respectful in class and be treated like a queen in his king bed. She didn’t need to be pushed into a dusty studio where God’s know other people had done it. He picked up his speed, waiting to get them both home as soon as possible.

----

“Mom? You here?” Liam called out into the empty apartment. Both he and Gray stayed quiet in the ride home, each lost in their thoughts of what could happen tonight. All he wanted to do was politely ask his mother to leave and tear that dress of Grey’s body.

“Hello you two, glad to see you back. I just put her back to bed,” Karen smiled. She grabbed the remote on the couch and turned off the TV.

“Thanks again for that, I’ll call you in the morning to catch up,” Liam said, hoping she would take the hint.

“I’d like to catch up now actually. Can you join me on the couch?” He knew that tone, that was the ‘mother knows best’ tone. The same one he heard when he was back as a child.

“Can we talk about this later? We had a bit to drink and all,” he suggested. It was way too late in the night to hear her speech.

“No. We will be talking about this now. Sit.” Gray’s nice buzz died extremely fast hearing the tone of Karen’s voice. Both she and Liam sat across from Karen on the large U-shaped couch.

“Now I’m going to bring this up once, and never again. I know both of you are adults making your own choices, but I want to stay this to you. Whatever have you going on now, you either need to continue it, or call it quits for good. I have watched this antics go on for fall too long. It isn’t just your feelings, you have to think of that sleeping baby in the other room also,” Karen strictly said, pointing to Spencer’s room down the hallway. “It may not seem like it’s a big deal now, but if you continue to make up and break up, it will hurt your daughter down the line. She will realize what you two are doing. Enough is enough. Either make this work or walk away now.” Both of them knew she had a point, but it still felt like they were getting in trouble for making out like teenagers.

“Karen, I want to work and I plan on giving it my all to make it happen. I love your son very much, and I want Spencer to actively have her Dad in her life. I’m with on you this, We want to be together,” Gray stated. For having a buzz, still could put on a good presentation.

“Good. I know all of us, everyone close to you, is ready to see you two settle down once and for all. Your mood swings are too much to watch most days. I am going to go home, you two have a good night. Liam, call me tomorrow.” Karen stood, giving Liam a cheek on the cheek and a hug before coming over to Gray.

“You look very beautiful today. Motherhood has matured you,” Karen smiled. She gave Gray a quick hug before letting go.

“Let me walk you to the door,” Liam said, following her into the foyer. Gray took it as her chance to scurry away before another lecture started. She was going to need a lot more wine if that happened.

“Did you tell her,” Karen asked. Liam had called her yesterday, needing someone to rant to. The idea of going on tour without his family made him very distraught and knew Karen would be able to help him out.

“I did, she took it better than I thought.”

“What was her answer?” Karen already knew about it all. She hoped Gray would follow her heart and go with him on both trips. If she missed their tour, it would surely crush her son once and for all.

“She wants to think about it. Hopefully it goes my way. I’ll call you later mum, drive safe.” Liam wanted to end the conversation, he was already on edge about it, the last thing he wanted to do this late at night was rehash the story with his mom.

“I love you.” Karen waved and headed down the apartment hallway with Liam watching from the door. He made sure she got into the elevator safely before turning back into the apartment.

“Gray?” He called out. She wasn’t on the couch where he left her. Liam quietly padded down the hallway, stopping at Spencer’s room first. Their daughter was peaceful sleeping in her crib, her lips puckered like usual. Every passing day she was starting to look more and more like Gray. They had the same cheekbones and lips and even her laugh reminded him of Gray. She was perfect, their perfect daughter. He quietly closed her door a bit more and headed into his room, the last place Gray could be. The fire he had instead of him for her was still there. He wanted to take her dress off, inch by inch kissing her beautiful pale skin along the way.

“Love, I..” Liam’s voice trailed off when he spotted her. Gray was crawled into a ball at the end of the bed still dressed in her clothes. His heart silently crushed, but it was okay. Right now Liam had to put them both to bed, they had plenty of time to get to know each other’s bodies again.

“Come here baby,” he cooed, gently picking her exhausted body. Gray’s head curled into his neck, her face nuzzling the scruff that was beginning to form from not shaving. Liam pulled back the white comforter and slowly placed her back down. Gray’s rich brown fanned over the pillow, like a halo around her head. It was amazing that one woman could look so beautiful all the time.

“Love you,” Gray mumbled, barely making out the words. She snuggled into the pillow more.

“You are literally killing me,” Liam whispered to his sleeping girl. He needed a release, badly. A shower, and a cold one at that, was the only thing to break it. Liam stripped off his shirt and pants in the middle of the room, not caring if she saw, and headed into the bathroom. A little alone time never hurt anyone.

----

Gray was crabby. More like a bitch right now. The day started off bad when she missed her alarm and had gotten progressively worse. Something was off, she could feel it. It was like the universe had shifted three degrees north, but no one felt the need to tell her. Gray had barked at Liam this morning for not waking her, then barely spoke to it. Sure, it was a childish move, but it was better than saying something she would regret later.

“Seriously, you all seriously are going to stand there while I try to make this work,” Gray yelled at the group. Liam had asked her a couple of days ago to come down to the studio and sample their new CD. At the time it sounded like fun, but right now she wanted to kill everything. To make matters worse, the recording studio was not built for strollers, making Spencer’s get stuck in the doorframe. Thankfully Zayn jumped up to help her.

“Hi Gray,” he sheepishly said. Gray threw him a look, not wanting to say anything else.

“All I wanted was a Chipotle burrito. Something to remind me of home and there isn’t one in this area. It’s London for God’s sake, you’d think they would one close,” Gray bitched in the middle of the room, making them all listen to her.

“I think there is one a couple miles west of here,” Niall offered. Gray snapped her head to see him. If looks could, he would of already died.. twice.

“Hey, just trying to help,” Niall offered, throwing his hands in defense,” you’re acting like you are pregnant or something.”

“Hell no. You have to have se..” Gray quickly stopped her thought. They must definitely didn’t need to know that her and Liam still hadn’t sealed the deal since becoming back together. It was too late though, all of them knew. Soon laughter filled the area. Thank God Liam was inside the booth, otherwise he would be extremely mad at her.

“Wait wait, you two still haven’t, you know,” Louis asked. She could see him trying to keep it together, knowing well aware that him laughing will make her go crazy.

“That’s none of your business, can we just stop talking about this, please! I’ll pay you to use your minions to get me a burrito right now, literally,” Gray begged. Turning the conversation back to neutral ground was the best option.

“I’ll help you Gray, I’m not heartless like the rest of these people,” Harry smiled. Gray graciously gave him a hug and her order. Everyone else went back to their own business, letting Gray sit on the couch in peace. Recording studios were an odd duck. Sometimes it was a party in there, other times it was like a funeral was happening. You had to find a balance between the two and go with it. Gray knew it would be a good time to call her Mom. She still hadn’t given Liam an answer about the L.A. trip nor the idea of going on tour with him. There were just so many what if’s in her brain, and so many things that could go wrong. She could on both hands on how many times something went wrong in many different cities. Could she really let that happen to her daughter?

“Gray, Gray,” Harry shouted, knocking her out of her thoughts. He held up the Chipotle bag, making her smile.

“Styles, you are my favorite. I love you.” She shoved her face inside, inhaling the sweet, sweet smell.

“Can you all just keep an eye on her for a sec? She is sleeping, but I need to make a call,” Gray asked, making sure her tone wasn’t too mean.

“Go,” Harry waved her off, not taking his eyes off his phone. Gray smiled and sneaked out before anyone could change their minds. She had one place in mind, the roof. It was private enough for a talk with her mom without barging it. Gray quickly scaled the stairs and headed out into the fresh air.

“Hi Sweetie,” her mom said, answering on the second ring.

“Hey Mom, sorry I’m calling so late.” For some reason she was having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. Just heading Gloria’s voice make tears spr

Notes