Aria’s P.O.V

I ran, as soon as I got out of that room, I ran. I ran until I found myself, heading toward the door memories I could’ve possibly contained. I ran until I was in the large pool area. I slowed to a walk sitting at the edge of the pool, dipping my feet in. The water had been warmed that opened out to the pool area. I felt hot tears trickled down my face, wiping away all the happy a little from the sun, yet it was calming. I took deep breathes, feeling a bit lightheaded.

What had just happened right there? Oh right, I had almost kissed Niall. The tingly feeling that I felt, just from him being beside me still lingered, feeling all over my body. I don’t know why I didn’t just kiss him. Or maybe I did.

Was it because I didn’t want him to hurt me like those other guys did?

Because I just couldn’t handle a relationship?

Because maybe, just maybe, I was too sure that he didn’t like me.

I was scared in fact. Terrified. Terrified that I would do something wrong, to scare him away. I didn’t quite understand though. I had such a good feeling he didn’t like me, and now he had tried to kiss me. I had almost kissed him. But it didn’t happen.

I sighed, wondering what to do with my life. I’d have to get a job, move somewhere on my own, find a new life after tour. Everything would go back to normal. The normal that I didn’t like.

I stayed out in the pool for about an hour, just thinking about my terrible life, wishing I could die.

But I couldn’t kill myself. I know, I wasn’t sounding modest, but I had the feeling I had too much potential to let go of. I just didn’t know how to show it off. I never liked being the center of attention. It wasn’t my thing. I was the shy girl in the corner, getting asked out by guys and being dumped just as quick. I guess a little shield had grown around me, but there was one guy, one guy who was able to climb in and break it all down.

Niall Horan.

I also realized that despite how much I wanted him, how much I needed him, I still didn’t have the guts to make anything happen.


When would that change?

My phone rang with a text from Harry.

Harry: hey, where are you? We’re going to go out and get stuff for lunch. Not actually going to eat out cuz Liam is still sick :P

Me: who else is going?

Harry: Lou, Zayn and I. Niall won’t open the door, yelled that he’s tried or something…
Me: You guys go on ahead, I’ll stay where I am.

Harry: alright. Love ya, be safe wherever you are

Me: I’ll try ;)

Harry: wait, ur kidding right? Are you safe?

Me: calm down, worrywart. I’m fine, now go bring me lunch.

Harry: ahaha okay byee

I gulped and stood up, shaking my feet so the water would trickle off before slipping my sandals on and walking back into the hotel. I took my own time making my way back up to our floor and walked back towards my/Niall’s room. Then I stopped. It would be really awkward if I went in there. I turned and headed towards Liam’s room. The door was slightly open, and I could hear Liam coughing.

“Hey Liam.” I whispered, entering the room.

He was awake, and looked up at me. “Hey.” He croaked, reaching for his glass of water and took a sip.

“Liam, can I…talk to you?” I exhaled, sitting down beside him. Liam gave me a warm smile, nodding assuringly. I took a deep breath and began.

“I have a huge huge huge crush on Niall and we almost kissed but then I stopped it and I don’t know what to do and he’s so sad and I’m sad and everything is just completely messed up and I…” I blurted out, faster than ever. Liam furrowed his eyebrows in concentration, rubbing his chin.

“Have you talked to him about it at all?” Liam asked. In my opinion, that was such a dumb question he just asked. I rolled my eyes, annoyed.

“Why would I possibly talk to him about me liking him when he doesn’t like me?”

“How do you know he doesn’t like you?” Liam questioned, sitting up straighter in bed.

“Because, I mean…because…” I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to come up with proof.

“Well I mean, he’s rumored to like girls like Demi Lovato and Amy Green. And I’m nothing like them.”

“On the contrary,” Liam smiled, “you’re different.”

“Oh, well thanks for rubbing it in!” I yelled, burying my face in my hands.

“Aria, please look at me.”

I looked up, squinting at him. “What?”

“If you really do like Niall, and he really does like you, then you guys will find a connection naturally. You’ve just got to take little steps, alright?” Liam advised, taking my hand.

“Fine.” I grumbled, standing up. I waved to Liam and opened the door.

“By the way, when you guys were about to kiss, wasn’t he leaning in too?” Liam winked, then gestured for me to leave.

Yeah, so?

---

I cautiously made my way back to the room Niall and I shared. I wish I had thought about what the consequences of sharing a room with him could have been before I agreed. I slipped the card into the slot and unlocked the door. The first thing I saw was Niall crying on his bed.

“Niall?” I whispered, approaching him ever so slowly.

“Please, just leave me.” He croaked out between a yell and a muffled up sob.

What the hell was his problem?

Men are confusing.

Disobeying his words, I climbed into bed beside him, sitting crisscross in front of him.

“You alright?” I asked softly, placing a hand on his back. He tensed up, soon relaxing. “Please Niall, look at me.”

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone.” Niall grumbled, looking up and wiping away tears.

“Niall, I’m-“

“Aria!” Niall yelled, looking up again. The pain in his eyes made my heart throb, but I remembered Liam’s words. Little steps.

“Fine. I’ll leave. I’ll be out of the balcony if you decide you don’t hate me anymore.” I spat out, a bit fed up with this nonsense. I walked to the balcony door and opened them, stepping outside, then closed them behind me. I sat down on a beautifully designed metal chair, staring up at the sky. The white clouds were spread across the blue paper like little sprinkles of sugar.

I wondered why Niall was suddenly so beat down by me not kissing him. Did that mean he wanted me to kiss him? Oh my god. I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore, except for the fact that this boy is stealing my heart.

I wished I could just go back and time, back to when my dad was raping me in the alley that night. The night Liam found me. I wish I could’ve gone back and kicked him in the most unpleasant spot a male would want to be kicked, and showed him who I could really be. I wish I could’ve stopped him, stopped Liam from finding me, and stopped myself from ever lying eyes on the beautiful blue eyed boy. I just wish I could’ve stopped myself from entering this life. Now, all I felt was pain. And it wasn’t physical pain. It was pain from my heart. I’d learned to handle physical pain after years and years of being beaten by my father, but pain coming from the heart, it’s not something you could get used to. I had learned that at this very moment. I bit my lip, the wind stinging my eyes. Tears began to fall again, but it wasn’t because of the wind.

For the first time, I knew what it was truly like to like a guy, to truly want him and yet, be too scared to try anything. I thought it would be a great feeling, crushing on someone for real, but no. This, only brought me pain. Pure pain.

I leaned my forehead on the table and let tears fall down, plopping onto my feet. Everything in my life was going exactly the opposite of what I had wished for so long ago. At a certain young age, I had dreamed of becoming a princess with the perfect prince, with two perfect parents as the king and queen. I dreamed of having the perfect life, having everything I wanted, whenever I wanted. I dreamed of helping others out, the ones who were less fortunate, when in real life, I was the less fortunate one.

The balcony door creaked open slowly, and I knew who was behind me. I’d know the comforting scent anywhere.

“Decided to not hate me, yet?” I snapped, glaring up at Niall. He scanned my face which was no different to his, then did the one thing I never would’ve expected him to do at a time like this. He pulled me out of my seat and took me into his arms, hugging me tightly. I wanted to stay strong, fight back, pull away, but I gave into it eventually, wrapping my arms around his neck to pull him in more.

“I never hated you. Never.” Niall argued, still hugging me tightly.

“That’s a relief.” I snorted, wiping away tears.

“Today’s not the best day for either of us, is it?” Niall whispered, his hot breath against my ear. I shivered, trying to control the goose bumps that were sure to appear.

I shook my head no, a few tears hitting his shoulder. He pulled away for a second, his arms loosely around my waist, before pulling me back into his arms. I wanted to stay like this forever, but that was only in my dreams. It was only in my dreams to be a princess with the perfect prince.

This was reality.

Notes

ok did this chapter make sense? Like while i reupdate, I re-read all the chapters and fix them up a bit, and this srsly didn't make sense to me. idk. whatever.