"Are you staying?" I ask Harry as we walk back to my room.

"Do you want me to?" He questions and I return a small smile. I badly want to see what's going on in his mind, I hate that I can't even guess what he's thinking.

"Then I'll stay." He smiles back.

Harry wastes no time pulling me close to his body and engulfing me in his embrace as we lay down on my bed. I let out a sigh of relief knowing I didn't scare him away, however, I'm disappointed he didn't say it back.

When his breathing eventually evens out and soft snores escape his nose, I find myself struggling to fall asleep. I can't help but beat myself up over the fact that I told him I loved him. Too soon, Addie! I mean, do I even love him, or did it just come out wrong? Either way, I can't take it back; and I desperately want to because he didn't say it to me.

I'm exhausted, but I still can't sleep. I turn to my side and look at the sleeping boy next to me, and I can't help but reflect on how my life really has changed. Addie Walker has a guy sleeping in her bed? Grace is going to flip out when I tell her all of this.

My hand moves to caress his soft face. He looks so peaceful and calm when he sleeps, contrasting to his usual hard demeanor during the day. Even though I hate that he acts different around me compared to everyone else, I guess I also kind of like it. He's himself around me, and it's flattering to know that I'm the only one who can bring out that side of him.

I do love him. I don't care if I haven't known him for very long, but I love him. Well, at least I think I do... I've never experienced love, but I'd like to think that what I'm feeling is that. I never stop thinking about him, I hate when we're not together, he makes me feel wanted and safe, he listens to me, he knows me more than anyone else.

Sometime amidst my endless thoughts, I drift off, dreaming of Harry expressing his thoughts back to me.

---

"Harry, time to get up." I try to wake him, but it's not going so well. I've already showered and gotten ready for school, so I just need Harry to wake up so we can go.

"What time is it?" He groans and finally sits up.

"Seven, we have to go soon." I remind him and continue to shove all of my books into my bag.

"Addie,"

"Yeah?" I turn to face him. He slowly gets up from the bed and walks over to me.

For a second, my heart stops praying that he will tell me what I've been waiting to hear.

"You look beautiful this morning." He says sans emotion and kisses me quickly before searching for his pants.

I want to scream. At this point, I don't care if he doesn't love me yet, but I hate how he's acting like I never said it.


We drive to school as always, but this time; Harry makes a point to take my hand in his as we walk up the front steps. The simple gesture isn't lost on me, especially when it earns multiple stares and whispers. I finally decide that as long as Harry is still with me, then he can take some time to absorb my confession of love.

"Harry, everyone's staring." I whisper as we walk down the halls. It's not even just staring though, it's pointing, giggles, whispers, nasty looks from all of the girls, praises from all of the guys...

"Let 'em babe, they're just jealous." He shrugs and pulls me towards the science wing.

"It's going to be a long day," I sigh when we stop outside of our first hour; biology.

"You'll be okay, don't let them get to you." Harry leans down to kiss my cheek before letting go of my hand. "See you later."

"Where are you going?" I ask as he begins to walk away. I hope he didn't forget he's now in this hour after all of the trouble he went through to get me away from Max.

"I'm just not feeling bio today." He states and continues to walk down the hall. Okay...

I go in to class and take my normal seat, and everyone seems to be staring at me. I don't understand, why is it so weird that two people are dating?

"Hey Addie." Alicia smiles when she sits down in the vacant seat where Harry usually sits next to me.

"What's up?"

"Not much... So are you and Harry really dating?" She gets right to the point.

"Yep." I nod. It feels good to actually admit it and have it out in the open, even if we are the topic of all gossip.

I tell her the shortened version of how it happened, and she listens closely with a smile on her face.

"That is so cute Addie! I can't believe he actually asked you out... Not because of you! I just mean because it's Harry freakin' Styles.. He doesn't do girlfriends." She laughs. "But I knew there was always something with you two."

"Alicia, please take your assigned seat so we can begin class." Ms. Davis says from the front of the room.

"Yes ma'am." Alicia responds and moves back to her spot.

The next hour slowly passes as I wait for class to finish. I feel strange getting anxious just to see Harry in math, but something's off with him, and I know it's because I told him I loved him.

When the bell finally rings I pack up my stuff and head down the hall, ignoring the continuation of looks and whispers. I'm more disappointed when Harry never shows up to math. I instantly change my mind and regret what I said last night. At first I thought it was going to be okay, but now I can tell that it's not. Dammit, just when things were going good I have to ruin them.

---

"So you weren't feeling school altogether?" I laugh when I meet up with Harry in the parking lot after school.

"No, I guess I was just tired." He responds, and I can see right through him.

"Come on Harry, we both know that's not why you're acting like this." He stops in his tracks. We need to talk, otherwise he will just continue this act.

"I don't know what you want me to say." He looks me in the eyes.

"I don't want you to say anything! I just want you to act like you always do! I don't care if you didn't say you loved me back, but I do care that you're pushing me away right now. I just told you I loved you it wasn't that big of a deal." Heck ya it was a big deal, but right now I'm desperate to turn things back to normal for us.

"Are you kidding? It's a huge deal, Adelaide!" He yells. Well at least we're on the same page about that.

"Well than notify the newspaper, because I love you Harry!" I yell back. He is so frustrating. "I'm not going to take it back, because I meant it."

"You don't love me, Addie." He shakes his head and fiddles with his car keys.

"Yes I do." I take a step so I'm right in front of him and wait for him to say something.. Anything really.

"You can't." His eyes burn into mine, and once again, I can't read his emotions.

"Well I do. I know we've only known each other for a short time, but I can't help what I'm feeling Harry."

"You don't love me, you can't love me." His eyes remain on mine.

"Stop saying that!" I try to contain my frustration, but he's not making it very easy.

"You just can't, Addie." He sighs and begins to walk away, but I grab his arm and keep him from going.

"And why is that, Harry? Enlighten me!"

"Because!" His eyes turn a dark jade color as he yells in my face. "I'm going to hurt you Addie, it's inevitable! You deserve to love someone who will treat you right.. I don't deserve your love." His eyes turn from anger to somber, leaving me even more confused than before.

"You're not going to hurt me, Harry."

"Not purposely. I'm gonna fuck up I know it. That's why I don't do this!" He wails his arms around. "I can barely take care of myself, how can I keep you happy?"

"Harry, stop!" I yell. I'm grateful everyone has already left school so they don't witness our little scene. "I have been the happiest I've ever been these last weeks. I don't know why you feel like you're not worthy, but you are. I love you Harry, why can't you see that?"

"I don't want you to love me, Addie." He says with that darkness in his eyes before stomping away and driving off in his car.


I can't stop the tears from flowing as I watch his car disappear in the distance. All of this because I told him I loved him... You'd think that it would only make us closer.

I want to say that he's just scared, but his words replay in my head, making me feel like he's never wanted anything more with me.

"I don't want you to love me, Addie."

He thinks he's going to hurt me, but the problem is, I disagree. I think he's completely changed, and I trust him. With the way he's been acting, how could I not fall in love with him? I think he's the one that's scared.

With shaky hands, I dial Alicia's number on my phone.

"Hey girl!" She beams over the line.

"Alicia, can you come pick me up? I'm still at school." I try to hide the quiver in my voice.

"Yeah sure! Why didn't you go home with Harry? I saw you two in the parking lot after class."

"Long story," I sniffle now that I've blown my cover. "I'll tell you later."

"Okay, just stay there, I'm coming." She says concerned and hangs up.

Maybe she'll give me some advice, because right now I have no idea what to do.

Notes

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