"Jesus Christ, woman! What the hell happened?" Alicia panics when she gets out of her car and see a me. I probably look like a shit show sitting outside of school with my mascara running down my cheeks from crying.

I shake my head and try to figure out what I want to say. "Harry.." Is all I can manage to spit out before I break down again, and she quickly moves to comfort me.

"It's okay, Addie... Come on, let's get you home." She helps me get up and leads me to her car before driving away from school. "Do you want to talk about it?" She asks after a few minutes of silence.

"I fucked up, Alicia." I laugh. I hate that word, but it seems appropriate in this situation.

"You did? I was sure that Harry did something..." She's just as surprised as I thought she would be.

"I told him I loved him." I continue to laugh, but this time I can't stop. I am so pathetic thinking Harry Styles might actually love me back, let alone thinking we could actually work. He doesn't want me to love him, he even said it to my face.

"You what?" Her eyes practically pop out of the sockets when they widen with surprise. "So I'm guessing he didn't say it back?" She asks carefully, trying not to add to my frustration,

"Nope, in fact he told me he doesn't want me to love him."

"Addie, I'm really sorry." She says as sympathetically as she can, but I know she thinks I'm crazy.

"I'm pathetic. It's official." I throw my hands in the air signifying my surrender. "Thanks for bringing me home, I'll se you tomorrow." I tell her once we get to my house.

"Not so fast Walker." She locks the door to prevent me from getting out. "One; you're not pathetic, and two; you're not leaving this car until we work through this."

I appreciate her willingness to help, but at this point, I'm exhausted and feel like there's no point in even trying. Harry said it himself, he doesn't want my love, so why should I even try any further?

I sigh and slump down in the seat of her car and let the tears flow again. I'm angry, sad, humiliated... Every and any emotion you could think of; that's me.

"Addie, I'm sorry if this comes out wrong, but you had to know he wouldn't react well to you saying something like that. I mean everyone's surprised that he even is calling you his girlfriend." She tells me.

"I didn't mean to say it. It just came out." I begin telling her the story of how he tried to have sex with me, but when I told him I wasn't ready and he apologized I said I loved him.

"Wow... I don't know what to say." She shakes her head. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he loves you too, Addie. Harry Styles doesn't do girlfriends, let alone spend a night with a girl when she won't have sex with him."

"You've said that." I remind her.

"But I don't think you understand! You are the first girl he's spent more than a week with and not had sex with, let alone called his girlfriend. He obviously has strong feelings for you, I just think he's afraid to say it."

"Well I disagree. I think that he isn't capable of loving someone, and that it's a lost cause for me." I huff. "Thanks for picking me up, Alicia." I say wanting to end this conversation.

"Just give it time." She says sweetly, still trying to comfort me.

"I don't think that's necessary really, I'm pretty sure he just broke up with me." I admit. He didn't specifically say it, but he practically implied it.

She looks at me for a moment before a smile plays on her mouth. "Go freshen up, Walker, we're going out tonight."

"Not happening." I shake my head. Going out with Alicia sounds like a terrible idea.

"Come on, you need to have fun for a night and forget about Harry. You deserve someone who won't make you miserable like this."

She's right, but there's no way I'm forgetting about Harry anytime soon. I still want to get through to him and ask him why he acted the way he did earlier, but I don't see that happening anytime soon with the way he left me just an hour ago in the parking lot.

"I still love him though, Alicia. Just because he didn't say it back doesn't mean I changed my mind." You can't just stop feeling a certain way although I wish you could.

"Love sucks." She shakes her head like she knows the feeling. "But there's only one way to fix it... Alcohol." She smirks.

"I think I'm just going to go distract myself with bio homework or something." I suggest over the alternative.

"No, no, no, no, no! We are going out and getting wasted. Come on, it'll be fun. I'll call the girls and we can have a good time."

Is she serious? I've never been drunk in my life! The closest thing I've been to wasted was that small buzz I got at Harry's party last Friday, like hell am I going to get wasted on a Thursday night when I have school the next day!

"I'll pass, thanks though."

"It's not an option." She shakes her head. "Addie trust me, you need it. You'll be fine." She tries to convince me. Meanwhile, I try to convince myself otherwise as she stares at me with wide eyes and her lip pouted like a puppy.

"Fine!" I give in and she claps her hands together with excitement.

"I'll call the girls."

---

"This was I bad idea." I cringe walking into Eleanor's kitchen where three other girls are sat with at least ten glass bottles of liquor and chasers are on the table.

"Definitely not!" She says to me. "Hey girls! You guys remember Addie Walker, right?" She holds my arm and they all nod and say hi to me.

"So you and Harry really are dating, huh? I thought I was imagining it when John Farrell told me the rumor this morning!" One of the girls says, but I forgot her name. I'm pretty sure it's Zayn's girlfriend though.

"Actually that is why this night is happening..." Alicia saves me from answering. "No Harry talk tonight, okay?"

The girls all look at me confused before nodding in agreement. I'm sure they're all wondering why we just announced to the world we we're dating today, and then the same night I'm acting like we're not.

"Well than let's quit the chit chat and get the party started!" Eleanor yells and gets up to turn the stereo on. Alicia pulls my arm to sit down and grabs a bottle full of amber liquid to set it in front of me.

"Jack Daniels is one of my best friends, Walker. He's always there when ya need him. Drink up." She pulls the top off and motions for me to take a sip.



I don't even notice that we've been sitting at this table for hours just talking about my problems with Harry. I don't know if it's the alcohol or distracting myself with the girls, but I'm actually starting to feel better.

"I can't believe he just left you there, what a dick!" Zayn's girlfriend says, and I've since learned that her name is Perrie.

I know we agreed that there would be no Harry talk tonight, but I guess the alcohol had a different agenda. As soon as the whiskey got to me, I dumped my relationship problems on the girls.

"Addie, you are too good for him!" Danielle says and pushes the bottle of Grey Goose towards me. I take a swig and welcome the burning that comes with it. I'll take this burn over that of Harry's harsh words any day.

"You guys are the best." I slur. "But I feel bad for making you turn on Harry, I mean he's your friend."

"Don't worry, babe, we like you better!" Eleanor assures me before getting up to change the song.

"See, I told you this is what you needed." Alicia giggles and nudges my arm.

"You were right... Thanks." I admit.

"So I think we should find you another guy Addie. What about Niall? He's perfect for you!" Eleanor claps her hands together and sits back down at the table.

"I think I'm going to lay low for a little bit." I laugh. I'm not even sure Harry and I broke up, even though it sure as hell seems like it.

"Lame!" Danielle laughs and the other girls join in. If I wasn't so drunk I'd be offended, but she's right.

Just as our laughter fit evens out, there's a knock at the door and a panic runs through my body. "Oh my God! Is that your parents? Or the cops? Shit!"

"Settle down, it's just Louis." Eleanor laughs and goes to answer the door.

"Damn, you need to calm down Addie!" Alicia teases me before Eleanor comes back to the kitchen with her boyfriend, Zayn, Liam, Niall and Harry.

Harry.

"Never mind, you can panic now." Alicia says into my ear when she sees him.

Harry's eyes go wide when he sees me, he must be just as surprised as I am.

"Sorry babe, we got bored at Niall's." Louis says to Eleanor and she tells him it's okay before glaring at Harry. At least the girls are still taking my side.

"It's okay Lou," she smiles. "We were just getting started, who wants something to drink?" She asks and I laugh. Just getting started! I feel like I'm going to die of alcohol poisoning by the amount I've drank tonight.

"I'll take one." I raise my cup. If Harry's going to be here, I might as well die from it.

---

"I think you've had enough." Harry grabs the bottle from my hand and sets it in the middle of the table. An hour or so I gave up on the cup.

"I think I'll be the judge of that," I snap and glare at him while grabbing the bottle back.

"Yeah Harry, I mean it's your fault she's drinking." Alicia narrows her eyes at him.

"Woah, what have you done this time Haz?" Louis pulls his tongue out of Eleanor's mouth for the first time in twenty minutes to ask him.

How did the guys not notice something was up? Harry's been sitting next to me the whole time they've been here and I haven't even looked at him let alone spoken a word to him.

"He did nothing." I say. I do not want to talk about it.

"Don't defend him, Addie! He's an asshole." Perrie says before Zayn can stop her.

"She's right." I scoff before slowly standing up. "You only care about yourself, and it's annoying." I feel much harsher than I soumd because of the alcohol, but I'm sure I sound like a middle schooler calling him annoying.

"Are you done trying to prove your point?" Harry says through gritted teeth.

"What point! I'm not trying to do anything Harry! God knows I can't make you say or do anything you don't want to." I get up a try my best to confidentially walk to the bathroom, but I end up tripping over my own feet.

"Easy," I feel his hand grab my arm to prevent me from falling.

"Oh shit," I mumble when I feel the alcohol begin to take affect. I'm thankful everyone has returned to their own separate conversations so they don't have to witness my embarrassing moment. "I'm gonna puke, Harry."

"Come here," I let him grip my arm and lead me to the bathroom only because I can barely stand up straight.

"This is your fault." I glare at him.

Notes

Double update :) let me know what you guys think!!!

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