Espy
Chapter 17
Niall's POV:
We'd finally hit three weeks of searching, and nothing. We'd contacted the police about Eleanor and Essy and they were being about as helpful as a heavy rock was to a drowning man.
I was walking a little ahead of Perrie and Zayn as we proceeded around our usual morning walk loop. The sun was warm and bright on our backs but inside I felt nothing but cold and dark.
Three weeks. Three weeks of delaying recording our album, of burdening my mum by taking up space in her house, of making Lou, Harry and Liam stay shut up at Harry's place with my daughter, and without any explanations.
Perrie seemed to have died a little inside. Eleanor was her best friend, apart from her fellow band members, who were extremely angry with her right now for leaving the in the middle of planning their album.
Zayn was really the only one keeping her going. She barely said a word to me anymore, just stared off into the distance, looking broken. She'd tried to stop eating, but Zayn would sit her down at the dinner table after everyone else had gone to sleep and force her to eat at least something.
I could tell Zayn really wanted to just go home. But we couldn't. We had to keep looking. It was infuriating because we had no leads, but we couldn't stop looking.
I stopped in front of the entrance to my old school. We'd passed it every morning for three weeks now, but I'd never had the heart to go in. Too many memories. But today, I had a reason.
"I'm gonna go look in here," I lied, walking in the back gate. Zayn and Perrie sat down on a bench just inside the gate, saying nothing as I walked away.
I was pretty sure Essy was already dead, but I'd never told her how sorry I was, how much I missed her and loved her.
So I'd written a note to her, telling her what I wanted to say. And I was going to leave it in our special hiding place from when we were children.
I looked down at the note I'd written the night before, and unfolded it gently, feeling my eyes sting a little.
Dear Essence,
It's been six years since I told you I wasn't ready to be a father. And I wasn't. But I was so stupid. You weren't ready to be a mother and you stood up and took on the challenge. I should've stood by you. I don't know what I was thinking. You were my only friend from the second grade until I left for X Factor. And you don't leave you friends to struggle alone. I can't put into words how sorry I am.
I think you're dead now. I didn't know you went missing. It wasn't all over the newspapers, I never knew. If I had known I would've done anything to find you. But I guess heaven gained another angel.
And I thought you got an abortion. I don't know why I thought that, but I just assumed. I was so stupid. I was so immature, and now it's too late to tell you.
Wherever you are, I want you to know I found your daughter, Espy. I have her. She's mine. And if your out there somewhere I want you to come back and meet her, and keep her. I'm so sorry I left you. You were always there for me, you fought of my bullies for me, you found our secret hiding place. You listened to all my troubles. And the one time you have problems, I couldn't handle it. That's not how best friends behave.
I can't even put into words how much I love you. I still love you. You're my true love. And if you ever read this, come to my parents house, you know where it is. And I'll come and get you, and tell you in person how special you are to me.
Lot's of love,
Niall James Horan
I felt one tear spill over my eyelid and I watched it fall and smudge away the "all" from Niall, so it just said Ni James Horan.
Ni. What she always called me.
I wiped my eyes and walked around to the far side of the building. There it was. The little building we always used to climb on to get to our secret hiding spot on the roof.
I climbed it easily, realizing how much taller I'd gotten, and in a few moment found myself walking across the roof to the little dent in the center where we'd always hide from my bullies.
I felt my eyes well up with tears again as I saw carved in messy handwriting the words Essy had written almost ten years ago.
King Ni and Queen Essy's Secret Kingdom
I almost broke down completely. She'd written that the day she'd saved my life. And I'd let hers slip through my fingers.
Flashback: (Niall's POV)
He'd cornered me again. This was the third time.
"Come at me Horny," he laughed cruelly, swinging a punch at my face, but missing.
I was all alone in the far side of the schoolyard where no one would find me.
"You're girlfriend keeps beating me but she's not here to save you now, is she?"
And suddenly I was on the ground, with five guys beating my to a pulp. I began to scream.
"HEY!" Screamed a familiar voice.
The boys jumped up. "Look," the leader purred, "It's Elliot or whatever."
She narrowed her eyes at him, putting her hand on her hips.
"Cut it out, Jeremy," she snapped.
"You're five years younger that me sweetie, I don't think you can bet five of us."
"I finished off you pretty well the last two times," she spat.
"Yeah, but my guys are gonna help a little this time," he sneered.
My nose was gushing blood from both nostrils, and I hurried to wipe it away with my sleeve.
"Last time I drew on you in my own blood," she spat. "This time I'm gonna draw on you in your own blood."
"Let's go, man," one on the smaller guys whispered, looking jumpy.
Jeremy stared her down. "I'm gonna get you one day," he snarled. "You just wait."
The dark eyes stared down the bright green, but the green didn't even blink.
He walked away, and his friends followed like sad little puppies.
She helped me up.
"Thanks," I breathed. "You saved my life."
"You need to stay away from him at during lunch," she said seriously. "They were two seconds away from knocking you out."
"Where can I go that they won't find me? I was hiding in the bushes right there and they found me right away."
"Come with me, I found a place," she whispered, taking my hand and leaving me to the other side of the school yard.
She climbed up in to of a small building, scaling it easily. I was nervous.
"Come on, I'll help you," she said. I took her hand and climbed, slipping a little. But I made it up.
"See," she said, smiling. "I'd never let you fall."
We walked across the roof, and, then jumped up on the roof school building.
"Should we even be up here?" I breathed.
"No," she said smiling, leading me over to a large dent in the roof.
"This is our kingdom," she said. "No one can get us up here. One day we'll really be on top of the world, when you become a famous singer, and I'll be able to say I knew you."
I laughed.
She took her knife out of her pocket and began carving something in the roof. She leaned back after a few minutes and I read it.
King Ni and Queen Essy's Secret Kingdom
I smiled at her.
"They'll never find us now," she whispered.
Niall's POV:
I felt myself starting to really cry. I took the nail I'd brought and nailed the letter right under the carved words.
"For you, Essy," I choked out. "I just wanted you to know I love you."
We'd finally hit three weeks of searching, and nothing. We'd contacted the police about Eleanor and Essy and they were being about as helpful as a heavy rock was to a drowning man.
I was walking a little ahead of Perrie and Zayn as we proceeded around our usual morning walk loop. The sun was warm and bright on our backs but inside I felt nothing but cold and dark.
Three weeks. Three weeks of delaying recording our album, of burdening my mum by taking up space in her house, of making Lou, Harry and Liam stay shut up at Harry's place with my daughter, and without any explanations.
Perrie seemed to have died a little inside. Eleanor was her best friend, apart from her fellow band members, who were extremely angry with her right now for leaving the in the middle of planning their album.
Zayn was really the only one keeping her going. She barely said a word to me anymore, just stared off into the distance, looking broken. She'd tried to stop eating, but Zayn would sit her down at the dinner table after everyone else had gone to sleep and force her to eat at least something.
I could tell Zayn really wanted to just go home. But we couldn't. We had to keep looking. It was infuriating because we had no leads, but we couldn't stop looking.
I stopped in front of the entrance to my old school. We'd passed it every morning for three weeks now, but I'd never had the heart to go in. Too many memories. But today, I had a reason.
"I'm gonna go look in here," I lied, walking in the back gate. Zayn and Perrie sat down on a bench just inside the gate, saying nothing as I walked away.
I was pretty sure Essy was already dead, but I'd never told her how sorry I was, how much I missed her and loved her.
So I'd written a note to her, telling her what I wanted to say. And I was going to leave it in our special hiding place from when we were children.
I looked down at the note I'd written the night before, and unfolded it gently, feeling my eyes sting a little.
Dear Essence,
It's been six years since I told you I wasn't ready to be a father. And I wasn't. But I was so stupid. You weren't ready to be a mother and you stood up and took on the challenge. I should've stood by you. I don't know what I was thinking. You were my only friend from the second grade until I left for X Factor. And you don't leave you friends to struggle alone. I can't put into words how sorry I am.
I think you're dead now. I didn't know you went missing. It wasn't all over the newspapers, I never knew. If I had known I would've done anything to find you. But I guess heaven gained another angel.
And I thought you got an abortion. I don't know why I thought that, but I just assumed. I was so stupid. I was so immature, and now it's too late to tell you.
Wherever you are, I want you to know I found your daughter, Espy. I have her. She's mine. And if your out there somewhere I want you to come back and meet her, and keep her. I'm so sorry I left you. You were always there for me, you fought of my bullies for me, you found our secret hiding place. You listened to all my troubles. And the one time you have problems, I couldn't handle it. That's not how best friends behave.
I can't even put into words how much I love you. I still love you. You're my true love. And if you ever read this, come to my parents house, you know where it is. And I'll come and get you, and tell you in person how special you are to me.
Lot's of love,
Niall James Horan
I felt one tear spill over my eyelid and I watched it fall and smudge away the "all" from Niall, so it just said Ni James Horan.
Ni. What she always called me.
I wiped my eyes and walked around to the far side of the building. There it was. The little building we always used to climb on to get to our secret hiding spot on the roof.
I climbed it easily, realizing how much taller I'd gotten, and in a few moment found myself walking across the roof to the little dent in the center where we'd always hide from my bullies.
I felt my eyes well up with tears again as I saw carved in messy handwriting the words Essy had written almost ten years ago.
King Ni and Queen Essy's Secret Kingdom
I almost broke down completely. She'd written that the day she'd saved my life. And I'd let hers slip through my fingers.
Flashback: (Niall's POV)
He'd cornered me again. This was the third time.
"Come at me Horny," he laughed cruelly, swinging a punch at my face, but missing.
I was all alone in the far side of the schoolyard where no one would find me.
"You're girlfriend keeps beating me but she's not here to save you now, is she?"
And suddenly I was on the ground, with five guys beating my to a pulp. I began to scream.
"HEY!" Screamed a familiar voice.
The boys jumped up. "Look," the leader purred, "It's Elliot or whatever."
She narrowed her eyes at him, putting her hand on her hips.
"Cut it out, Jeremy," she snapped.
"You're five years younger that me sweetie, I don't think you can bet five of us."
"I finished off you pretty well the last two times," she spat.
"Yeah, but my guys are gonna help a little this time," he sneered.
My nose was gushing blood from both nostrils, and I hurried to wipe it away with my sleeve.
"Last time I drew on you in my own blood," she spat. "This time I'm gonna draw on you in your own blood."
"Let's go, man," one on the smaller guys whispered, looking jumpy.
Jeremy stared her down. "I'm gonna get you one day," he snarled. "You just wait."
The dark eyes stared down the bright green, but the green didn't even blink.
He walked away, and his friends followed like sad little puppies.
She helped me up.
"Thanks," I breathed. "You saved my life."
"You need to stay away from him at during lunch," she said seriously. "They were two seconds away from knocking you out."
"Where can I go that they won't find me? I was hiding in the bushes right there and they found me right away."
"Come with me, I found a place," she whispered, taking my hand and leaving me to the other side of the school yard.
She climbed up in to of a small building, scaling it easily. I was nervous.
"Come on, I'll help you," she said. I took her hand and climbed, slipping a little. But I made it up.
"See," she said, smiling. "I'd never let you fall."
We walked across the roof, and, then jumped up on the roof school building.
"Should we even be up here?" I breathed.
"No," she said smiling, leading me over to a large dent in the roof.
"This is our kingdom," she said. "No one can get us up here. One day we'll really be on top of the world, when you become a famous singer, and I'll be able to say I knew you."
I laughed.
She took her knife out of her pocket and began carving something in the roof. She leaned back after a few minutes and I read it.
King Ni and Queen Essy's Secret Kingdom
I smiled at her.
"They'll never find us now," she whispered.
Niall's POV:
I felt myself starting to really cry. I took the nail I'd brought and nailed the letter right under the carved words.
"For you, Essy," I choked out. "I just wanted you to know I love you."
Notes
OH MY GOD THE MIDNIGHT MEMORIES ARTWORK OMFG OMFG OMFGGGFANGIRLING MOMENT
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2/20/15