Rachel's P.O.V.

I rang Madi and ended up deciding to go to her place for a while.

When I got there Madi engulfed me in a hug.

"What's wrong? You sounded upset on the phone" she told me as we made our way into the kitchen.

I shrugged, making my way to the kettle.

I put it on quickly and turned back to face her.

"Nothing really" I replied.

She rolled her eyes.

"C'mon Rach, I know you better than that" she said, raising her eyebrows.

I sighed.

"Me and Niall had a fight" I told her softly.

"You said you guys never fight.." she mumbled sounding confused.

"Never over anything serious.." I replied.

"Well what was it about?" she asked gently, as the kettle boiled.

I made us both a cup of tea and she sat at the table patiently until I made my way over to her.

I handed her her tea quickly and sat down next to her.

"He thinks I've been distant with him lately. Since I started dating Brad.. He feels like we're not as close as we were.." I trailed off quietly.

"And what do you think? Have you been distant with him?" she asked softly after a minute.

I took a sip of my tea before replying.

"I don't know to be honest Mads. I mean I knew he didn't like Brad but I had no idea he felt like this.." I whispered.

She nodded.

"I guess there's a chance that I've been slightly more distant with him. But I really didn't mean to" I added after a while.

Who was I kidding?

Of course I was being distant with him..

Of course I was keeping things from him.

I was keeping my bruises a secret from him.

I was lying to him about Brad, insisting I was in love with him.

Insisting that I was happy.

Years ago, when me and Niall had started dating people, we promised each other that we would never let anyone come between us.

Niall had always stuck to that promise.

And here I was, breaking it.

I was completely letting Brad mess with our friendship.

The one thing I never wanted to happen.

"Rach.. Have you ever thought maybe the reason Niall doesn't like Brad is that he has feelings for you?" Madi asked after a minute of silence.

I shook my head quickly without needing to think about it.

"Nah, Niall thinks of me a friend. That's the way it's always been.." I told her.

Those words hurt a lot more than they should have.

"Are you sure about that? I've seen the way he looks at you.." she trailed off.

I thought about what she said.

Niall loved me.

I knew that.

But he loved in a best-friend way.

Nothing more.

Anyone who saw us assumed we were a couple.

But that was just 'cause we were close, right?

I mean, yeah, Niall was very protective of me, especially when it came to guys, only because we were best friends though.

But what if she was right?

What if Niall did have feelings for me, and didn't like Brad?

What if he actually did think of me as more than just his best friend?

I couldn't supress the smile that the thought brought me.

Madi saw and chuckled, then her eyebrows raised.

"Your smiling. Do you want him to like you?" she asked.

I felt heat rise to my cheeks.

"Of course I want him to like me, he's my best friend" I tried brushing it off.

She rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean Rach! Do you like him as more than a friend?" she asked, curiously.

I could quiet easily cover this up.

Tell I didn't like Niall and make a joke of the whole thing.

But I didn't want to.

I was getting sick of all the lying.

So instead I sighed loudly.

"Being completely honest, I don't know. I think so" I told her.

Now I had admitted it to myself and out loud.

Her eyes widened.

"But if you have feelings for Niall, why are you with Brad?" she asked.

I opened my mouth to say something but closed it again.

There was no way I could explain this without letting her in on what Brad was doing to me.

So instead I just shrugged.

"I honestly don't know Mads. I 'm really sure what I want..." I told her, hoping she'd think I was unsure of who I wanted to be with.

This of course was completely untrue.

I wasn't even sure how I felt about Niall.

And Brad.. Well I knew exactly how I felt about him.

I took a deep breath, knowing I'd pick Niall in a heartbeat.

Notes

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