Our weeklong stay in Australia was probably the best week of the tour, in my opinion. The fans were great, the performances were high energy, the weather was beautiful, and I made a killing in tips selling the merchandise during the shows. Who knew 15-year-old girls had so much expendable cash?

Not to mention, Louis and I were back to our mischief-making ways, which made our lives infinitely better – though I’m sure the same couldn’t be said for Paul. Of course, now that we were able to drink, that added a whole new dimension to our fun and you knew it was a rough night if we weren’t all out at the bar following the shows.

Harry and I, as well, were still going strong...well, as in we were still sneaking in snogs in the dark corners backstage or in my room in between interviews. He had, true to his word, toned down the inappropriate comments and flirting when we were in front of other people, which made me feel much more comfortable about the whole situation.

I still wasn’t quite sure what I thought of Harry – I did like him, of course. He was a fantastic guy, overall: funny, talented, good looking, genuinely kind and caring. But at the same time, I knew deep down that this whole thing with him had to end at some point. Either it would end with us getting officially together or we would just fizzle out. At the moment, I wasn’t sure which I wanted.

New Zealand was out next and final stop on tour, before we were all flying home. The thought of going home was bittersweet – I was having a blast on tour, so of course I didn’t want it to end, but at the same time I found myself missing home a bit. Lottie, Fizzy, The Twins and Dad...even Mum a little bit. It would be nice to sleep in my own bed once again, as well. But, for the moment, I was going to enjoy what time I had left with the lads.

“That was tight on my balls,” Louis commented, waddling back over to our group as we clapped and hollered for him.

We had arrived in Auckland earlier in the day and the boys had been pretty busy with radio interviews all afternoon. But, we had the evening off, which meant that the adventure seekers among us – namely Louis and Liam – got to experience a typically Kiwi sport. Skydiving.

The Sky Tower was just what it sounded like: a huge tower which allowed paying guests to experience sky diving without the dangers of actually jumping out of an airplane. Louis and Liam were not allowed by Management or their insurance company to actually jump out of an airplane, but this was close enough for them.

“You’re up next, Liam,” the instructor said, calling him over, as Louis adjusted himself in his jumpsuit.

“How was it?” I asked, as he beamed.

“Bloody brilliant. Are you sure you don’t want to go?”

“Positive,” I replied. “I think I’ll wait until there aren’t hundreds of people taking pictures of me before I do something that bat shit crazy.”

We looked over the railing down at the parking lot, where a large crowd of fans and journalists had gathered to document the event.

Louis nodded. “Good call.”

“Here, JJ, will you hold her for me?” Zayn asked, coming up to me, while Louis went to go get changed. “I have to go to the loo.”

He held Baby Lux out to me and I stared at her. Why was she even here anyway? And where was her mother?

“Ugh, can’t Lou take her?” I asked, looking around for someone else. Harry and Niall were down signing some autographs, though, so there really wasn’t anyone to save me.

“She ran back to the car to get some nappies,” Zayn responded, still holding the toddler out into the air and doing a little ‘I have to piss’ dance.

Oh, lovely. So she had a wet nappy as well.

Reluctantly, I held my arms out of her and took her from Zayn, who dashed off to find the loo. I held Lux away from my body, looking at her with little enthusiasm. I never really understood why people liked babies. My Mum was a midwife and I still didn’t understand. They burped, spit up, smelled, cried, and generally made a mess of one’s social life.

Lux apparently thought I looked funny, because she smiled and me and giggled, reaching her pudgy little hands out towards my face. This was surprising, as the last time I had held her she had started screaming so violently that Liam had had to swoop in and save the day, as usual. But at the moment, Lux seemed happy enough to be around me. Weird.

“What do you want?” I asked her, as she made some incoherent noises and kicked her legs. “Do you want food?”

Her smile dropped and she screwed her face up, a cry building.

Babies. They can never give you a straight answer.

“Shhh,” I said desperately, as she started to bawl, holding her close to me and bouncing slightly. I could just feel the judgmental stares coming from the people around me; obviously they were all wondering what I had done to her to make her shriek like that.

“Calm down,” I begged, holding her against my chest and walking back and forth a bit. I was surprised when her crying stopped abruptly, and even more surprised when I felt a hard yank on my ponytail.

“Ouch!”

Lux giggled and clutched my hair in her fat little hands, tugging again and beaming as my face scrunched up in pain. She then reached up and grabbed a hold of my nose, pulling hard – much harder than I thought a ten month old could.

Little bugger.

“Oi!” I cried, shifting her on my hip and leaning my head away. “Watch what you’re doing!”

She giggled some more, staring up at me with her crystal blue eyes, before gripping my shirt and snuggling her head into the crook of my neck.

“Oh,” I started, caught off guard by the affectionate move.

Glancing down at her skeptically, half expecting another assault, I was surprised to feel somewhat...attached...to her. She was cute, I supposed, if you’re into that. Almost like a bald little monkey or bear. Like a koala, almost.

I froze.

A bald koala.

Looking back down at her I felt my heart swell following this sudden realization. Lux was like a koala. And I fucking loved koalas.

“Awe, isn’t that cute,” Niall commented, coming back up with Harry and joining me on the on the platform. “Looks like she’s finally taken a liking to you.”

“Ugh, yeah,” I agreed, holding her tightly to me.

“Oh, thanks for watching her, JJ,” Lou said, coming back with a duffle bag. “I can take her now.”

“No!” I said quickly, taking a step away. Harry and Niall both snickered at me, while Lou looked slightly concerned. “I mean...erm...I’m fine holding her.” I gave her a bright smile and the three of them exchanged looks.

“Don’t worry, Lou,” Harry said. “JJ isn’t as crazy as she looks. Lux will be fine.”

“Okay...” Lou replied, still watching me closely. I shot her an apologetic look. I finally had my own pet koala (okay, it was actually someone else’s ten month old baby girl, but close enough, right?) and I wasn’t going to let her go that easily.

Zayn and Louis returned just in time to see Liam jump off the Sky Tower, both eyeing me and Baby Lux with confusion. I didn’t mind though. I held on to Lux for the rest of the night, wondering why on earth I had never realized how adorable she was before.

**

The next day was fairly busy, full of interviews and promotional meetings, before the first show of the New Zealand leg. There were going to be four total shows over the next four days, so there was little free time, unfortunately. But, we all entertained ourselves in various ways.

I took a lot of pleasure in searching the internet for koala costumes to put Baby Lux in for Halloween (or just everyday wear, let’s be serious), as well as kicking the football about with Josh, Louis and Niall whenever they were free. But, Paul also had me on a pretty tight schedule – helping load and unload the merchandise, sorting out the dressing room and making sure we had everything that we need, as well as helping Lou out with the wardrobes. Being busy was actually pretty nice, and I liked feeling useful.

This was a lot better than just running out to get McDonald’s like I had in the States.

Like the Australian fans, the girls in New Zealand were really lovely. I had some nice chats with them before the show, as they came to buy their t-shirts and hoodies and bracelets. They were all very supportive of the boys, which was really all I could ask for, as well as just acting semi-sane when interacting with me. I did feel bad for Dylan, since most of the tips were coming to me, despite the fact that I spent more time taking pictures with them than actually selling them anything, but that was all right.

I had honestly thought that by this point I would be so completely sick of hearing the same songs over and over again, but I was actually really enjoying the shows every night. I think the Twitter section really helped that, since it was something a little different every night. I had considered sending in my own Tweet, asking them to do something completely ridiculous, but since Paul went through them himself, I doubted mine would get chosen. Tonight, though, I laughed as I watched the boys attempt to do the Haka and then rap a bit to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Their crazy hip thrusts as well...

There was a sharp jab in my side.

“Huh?” I asked, turning.

“You’re drooling a bit,” Dylan commented, a crooked smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes. “Shut it,” I replied, turning away. Was not.

By the time we got back to the hotel that night, it was still fairly early – only a bit past eleven. I used the time to text my Mum and sisters, just checking in and what not, before I was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Come in,” I called, too lazy to get up and answer.

“Hey, JJ,” Niall greeted, coming in and plopping down next to me on the bed.

“Hey Nailler. What’s up?”

“I was talking with Louis. We’re going to go down and get some drinks in a bit. You game?”

“Is that even a question?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “Honestly, I’m almost insulted.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” he grinned. “Let me buy you a drink to make it up to you?”

I sighed dramatically. “I guess that’ll do. Better watch yourself, though, Horan. Anymore shots like that and I don’t think we can be best friends anymore.”

“No!” He wailed, scrunching his face up. “No, JJ! I don’t think I could live without out you in my life!”

“I am pretty amazing,” I agreed, nodding sagely. Niall grinned mischievously, before launching a tickle attack on my sides.

I screamed in laughter, trying desperately to get away from him. Suddenly, I felt an odd sensation in my stomach and I panicked. “Niall, stop! No!”

But it was too late.

He pulled away from me instantly, as soon as he heard the noise. He froze, kneeling above me and staring down, while I wished I could sink into the bed, I was so mortified.

“Did...did you just fart?” he asked, a befuddled but excited look on his face.

“No!” I responded quickly, though the deepening shade of red on my face instantly gave me away.

Niall’s howls of laughter erupted through the room and he literally fell off the bed, clutching his stomach. I could barely even defend myself, he was laughing so hard. Clapping my hands over my face and pulling my legs up to my chest, I lay there in complete and utter embarrassment.

“It’s not my fault,” I whined through my hands. “I had Indian food for dinner and you were tickling me...!”

He was still on the floor, rocking back and forth, tears rolling down his face.

“It’s not funny,” I muttered softly.

“Oh, it’s hysterical,” he countered, finally catching his breath. “I’ve never heard you fart before.”

“And you never will again!”

“Oh come on,” he laughed, climbing back on to the bed. “It’s not a big deal. I fart all the time.”

“Yeah, but you’re you,” I replied, still bright red. “I’m a girl. Girls aren’t supposed to fart.”

“Since when,” Niall replied, rolling his eyes, “do you care about what girls aren’t supposed to do and what they are supposed to do? You’re JJ fucking Tomlinson. You can fart all you want and no one can say anything about it!”

I snorted. “Right, well, thanks for that. Now I have the confidence to pass gas anywhere and everywhere. I’ll be the new Niall Horan!”

We sat there in silence for a minute, until Niall started giggling to himself again.

“What?” I asked, nervously.

He snickered. “Mine don’t smell, though.”

“Oh my God,” I groaned falling back and pulling a pillow over my head. “I’m never leaving this room again.”

Niall laughed. “Come on, JJ,” he lay down next to me, poking me in the side. “Come on, I thought it was a cute fart.”

“Well, that’s just weird!” I responded, hitting him with the pillow. More laughter. And Niall’s laugh was, quite possibly, the funniest thing ever, so soon enough I was laughing too.

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?” I asked, once we had recovered a bit. I could only think of the pleasure Harry and Louis would get out of this.

“Of course not,” he replied with a smile. “The fact that you fart will be our little secret.”

I laughed. “Thanks, Niall.”

“On one condition, though.”

“Oh, God. What now?”

He grinned. “Come join me and Liam before we go down to the bar. He’s doing a Twitcam for the fans.”

“Hmm, tempting,” I muttered, standing up.

“Come on, you don’t even have to do anything,” Niall prodded. “Just sit there and look pretty.”

He gave me a cheesy smile and I rolled my eyes. “I’ll come join you, but I’m not getting on camera.”

“I’ll take what I can get, I suppose.”

I followed him back down the hallway to Liam’s room. Harry was standing at the door, leaning against the frame and chuckling he watched his band-mate on the computer. Niall said hello and brushed past him into the room, but I hung back for a moment and nudge Harry with my shoulder. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt and fitted jeans, looking impeccably good as always, and his dark hair fell casually over his forehead, still a bit damp from his after-show shower. .

“Evening, JJ,” he smirked, looking down at me.

“Hullo Styles,” I replied, sending him (what I hoped was) a flirtatious smile. Though, with my luck I looked like the Joker from Batman.

Like I said, things had been pretty good between us the past week or so. He hadn’t been overly inappropriate, but we still found the time to sneak some secret snog sessions in when the others were busy. I was hoping tonight would be another good one and was even debating letting him feel me up a bit more than usual, just show him I appreciated the effort he was putting in to keeping it in his pants. I’m just really nice like that.

“Coming down for a drink with us?” I asked, giving him my ‘hopeful’ eyes. I am honestly shit at flirting.

“Nah, I’m not actually,” he replied, shrugging. “Meeting up with some friends for a late dinner.”

“Friends?” Who the hell did he know here?

“Yeah, some people I know from home are here for work, or something. It’s a small world, right?”

“It is,” I agreed, somewhat disappointed.

“Harry, they want you see you,” Liam called over from his desk, looking up at us. Niall was sitting on the bed munching on Liam’s snacks, looking perfectly content with himself.

Harry groaned beside me. “I can’t,” he called back, clearly knowing his voice would carry into the speaker of the computer. “I’m...I’m naked.”

I snorted a bit, as Liam looked back at the screen, which was no doubt instantly filled with demands to see Harry’s naked body.

“Don’t want to say hello to your fans?” I teased, poking him in the side.

“Not particularly, no,” he replied honestly. “I’m tired, I have a massive headache and I just don’t want to get sucked into that whole thing.” He motioned to Liam and Niall, who were both now hunched over the screen, making weird faces and reading the comments as the scrolled quickly by.

I looked up at Harry and suddenly I realized just how tired he actually looked. Not that he hadn’t been getting enough sleep, but he had just been going and going for weeks on end, and it was now taking a bit of a toll on him.

“Stay in then,” I suggested, rubbing his back slightly. “Don’t go out.”

“Nah, I promised I would,” he replied with a slight smile. “Better get going, actually,” he added, glancing down at his watch. “Have a good night, JJ. Don’t get too wasted without me, yeah?”

With a wink and a kiss to my cheek, he turned and left, headed for the elevator.

“JJ, Louis’s sister, is here as well,” Liam was saying to his audience, before looking over at me.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t want to go on camera,” Niall added and I rolled my eyes. “She just ate Indian food.”

I froze and glared at him, but Niall merely looked at me over his shoulder and sent me a wink. He didn’t say anything else and it struck me that had it been Harry, he wouldn’t have hesitated to embarrass me in front of thousands of people.

“We love JJ,” Niall continued then, apparently answering some question posed on the screen. “She’s so, so funny and she is really good to talk to.”

“Yeah,” Liam agreed. “It’s so nice to have a feminine presence around when there are so many boys, you know?”

“I resent that, Payne,” I cut in from the bed. He turned to look at me. “I don’t like the insinuation that I am anything close to feminine.”

Niall laughed and Liam grinned. “Come say hello, JJ,” he ordered, giving me his puppy dog eyes. “They all want to say hi.”

I gave a dramatic roll of my eyes and grudgingly shuffled over to them, making sure to plaster a smile on my face once the camera was on me. I gave a wave, as I peered at the screen over Niall and Liam’s shoulders. Apparently, there were over 60,000 people watching this weird little chat, which consisted of some shit music of Liam’s, Niall eating, and the opportunity to ask really ridiculous questions on the off chance one of them might actually answer. Strange.

Soon enough, though, the comments were aimed at me:

Happy belated birthday, JJ!

It was so sweet for the boys to sing you ‘One Thing’!

You’re so pretty!

What’s it like touring with them?

I was, quite honestly, surprised by the normality of the comments and was therefore more inclined to acknowledge them.

“Thanks for all the birthday wishes,” I said, earning a smile from Niall. “And I’m having a great time touring; the lads are a lot of fun.”

There was a knock at the door then and Liam looked up, announcing the new arrival to his fans. I went to answer it and grinned at Louis, who appeared on the opposite side.

“Ready to go?” he asked, propping the door open and looking past me to the other two.

“Yeah, buddy!” Niall beamed and jumped up, always psyched to get some drinks in.

“Come here, Louis, say hello,” Liam said and my brother went over, quickly waving before darting back over to us.

“Afraid of getting sucked in?” I asked, giggling.

“It can get crazy, Liam can hold you here for hours,” he replied, lowering his voice, while Niall nodded vigorously.

“Bye guys!” The boy in question called to us.

“Come down and get some drinks,” Louis replied, trying to get Liam to join us. But, Liam was too nice and would never leave his fans after such a short Twitcam.

“I’ll be down for drinks in a little bit,” he smiled, before turning back to the computer.

“Hey Hey Hey!” Zayn came bounding up to us, clearly having been into the mini-bar in room. He was wearing his aviators and bopping along to some music that was playing only in his head, having a grand old time.

I laughed at him, as he draped an arm over my shoulders, wiggling his hips. “Go say hello to your fans,” I said, giving him a push toward Liam. “And then we’ll go.”

“Vas Happenin’?” Zayn cried, smiling widely at the computer, before bounding back to us.

“I love you Zayn,” we heard Liam cry.

“I love you to Liam!” Zayn yelled back, again clinging to me as I attempted to walk straight with him down the hallway. “I will always love you!”

Louis and Niall followed behind us, laughing at his drunken display. The night was going to be pretty entertaining, that was for sure.

Needless to say, the four of us enjoyed our time drinking and dancing and making straight up fools of ourselves down at the bar. Liam never did come down to join us, though through some texts we learned that he was still Twitcam-ing.

I hadn’t gotten really wasted with Louis in a long time, so it was great to know that we could all drink together and he wasn’t judging me like last time. We sang along to ‘Bennie and the Jets’, challenged each other to a walk-off, and even had Niall speaking in his Pakistani accent for most of the night. Overall, it was an excellent evening.

Eventually, though, we were told by hotel security that we were getting ‘out of hand’ and should go back up to our rooms. Something happened in the elevator ride though, that seemed to suck the life out of the boys. Exhaustion hit them like a freight train and they could barely drag themselves back to their rooms.

I, however, was still hyped up on alcohol.

So, I danced around my room with Chelsea for a bit more, before trolling Omegle, and watching an episode of Sherlock. But, then I was bored.

Luckily for me, I knew someone who would know just what to do about boredom.

I don’t know how much the alcohol played in my decision making that night, but I assume it was quite a lot. I was feeling quite good about myself and had been having an amazing week – I had also been feeling much better about myself and Harry – and in my increased confidence, I decided to surprise him. I stripped down to my knickers and bra, before slipping on the nice dressing robe from my closet. I pulled my hair out of its tie and tussled it around my face. Looking in the mirror, I didn’t think I looked too shabby – quite sexy actually.

Whether or not I was actually going to sleep with him, I hadn’t exactly decided as I padded down the hallway towards his room. I mean, had I been completely sober, I definitely would not have dressed that way, though I’m sure I would have still gone to see him. As it were, I wasn’t planning on sleeping with him. Just giving him a bit of a show and maybe getting him down to his boxers as well.

He was incredibly fit, after all.

I knocked on the door, humming happily/drunkenly to myself. But there was no answer.
Frowning, I knocked again, this time louder. I hadn’t actually seen Harry come back to the hotel, but it was so late I had just assumed he would be there. Maybe he was asleep and wasn’t hearing the knock?

I should have texted him, I thought in annoyance, about ready to turn and head back to my room, when a voice stopped me.

“JJ? What are you doing?”

I jumped and turned to see Paul, standing in the hallway in sweats and a t-shirt, obviously doing his rounds to make sure that no Directioners were stalking the floor. He was staring at me, a confused expression on his face. It made sense too – there I was, in nothing but a dressing robe, standing outside Harry’s door at three in the morning.

“Oh, erm, hi Paul...I, er....sleepwalking.” I sputtered, turning bright red and feeling suddenly sober.

He raised his eyebrows. “Sleepwalking?”

“Erm...yeah.” I took one step back towards me room. “Thanks for waking me up!” I blurted, before turning and running away, completely embarrassed.

I am never drinking again.