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Someone Like You

Look After You

The next morning, I woke up with only a mild headache, which was good, and a complete memory of the night before, which wasn’t good. That meant that I remembered Paul catching me out of bed after hours and standing outside Harry’s room. Lovely.

Luckily for me, the day was so jam packed that I had very little time to worry about what he would say, if anything. The boys had over forty (forty!) interviews between them scheduled for the morning, and I was there to help shuffle them to wherever they needed to be. Luckily, with the number of interviews scheduled, management had convinced all the press people to come to our hotel, which meant that we weren't driving all over New Zealand, but rather just moving from room to room on our floor of the hotel.

The boys were having an okay time, though it was clear that the questions and comments were becoming incredibly boring to them – I know that if they were asked one more time about who would survive if they were in the Hunger Games, Louis was going to swallow some poison berries himself, just to escape it all. At the same time, though, they were being split up for some of the interviews, which means that they had little breaks throughout the course of the morning. During his, Niall and I played a rousing round of FIFA, where my Chelsea crushed his Derby County 8-0, naturally. Zayn got a haircut from Lou on his break, while Louis and I took a stroll to the closest Starbucks for his daily fix. Most of the time, though, I was running around directing the press agents, fetching drinks for the boys, and rearranging their schedules, as some of the interview ran over or went too short.

During a break between interviews, Harry caught up with me as I was coming back from dropping off some of the boys’ gifts in their respective rooms. It really was amazing how much free stuff they were given.

“Hey,” I smiled at him, as he walked toward me down the hall. “How are the interviews go – oomph.”

Harry caught me off guard as he grabbed my hips and backed my up against the wall, crushing his pelvis into mine and kissing me roughly. For a moment, I was caught up in the taste of him and the feeling of his lips against mine, but then reality set in and I pulled away.

“What are you doing?” I asked, looking down the hallway nervously. “We can’t do this here!”

“I thought you liked to live dangerously.”

His voice was deep and slow and caused shivers to go up my spine; his green eyes sparkled with mischief and desire and I felt myself go weak in the knees. I really disliked feeling like...prey, almost...around him, but at the same time, I couldn’t deny how exhilarated and wonderful I felt about myself when I was with him. The fact that he looked that way at me of all people...

“I do,” I stuttered, looking away from him and blushing. “Just...just not this dangerously.”

Harry shoved his hips against mine again and I squeaked in surprised. Before he could kiss me again, though, a door opened down the hallway. Grabbing my hand, Harry yanked me around the corner and out of the sight of whoever was entering the corridor. Pulling me hurriedly behind him, Harry strode quickly towards his room and I found myself grinning at his eagerness.

Then, three girls appeared off the elevator and he let my hand drop.

“Hello girls,” Harry greeted brightly, sending them his most charming smile. “You know you’re not supposed be on this floor right?”

“Hi Harry,” they all beamed and giggled. “We know, we just would love to get a picture with you!”

I hovered behind him, not really put off by the fact that Directioners had infiltrated the floor. Usually, there was more security, but apparently, since it was the last few days of tour, things were a little bit more relaxed. As long as Harry didn’t mind, I really didn’t either, and was in such a good mood I even waved happily at the one girl who was videoing the encounter on her mobile.

“Where are the other boys?” One girl asked hopefully.

“Down the hall, take a left and the last two rooms on the right,” Harry supplied helpfully, pointing them in the right direction. “Just watch out for Paul; he’ll make you leave if he catches you.”

“Thank you Harry! We love you!” The girls bounded off in the right direction, squealing happily to one another.

I smirked at Harry. “That’s nice. You know Paul will lose his shit if they go bursting in on those interviews.”

Harry shrugged, clearly unconcerned. “I just wanted them to leave us alone,” he replied, pressing a quick kiss to my lips before opening the door to his hotel room.

I blushed and followed him in, quickly finding myself backed up against the door, Harry pressing himself against me fervently. His kisses were urgent and desirous, and it was clear from the pressure and movement of his hands (and the growing bulge inside his trousers) that Harry was looking for a bit more than our usual snog.

I went along with it for a while, feeling like I was flying, with the knowledge that I had Harry Styles grinding against me – something millions of girls would kill for. But, then I felt Harry’s fingers trail down to my waist and land on the button of my jean shorts. With a quick snap, it was undone and my senses came back to me.

“Haz,” I muttered, pulling his hands up.

Harry kissed me in response, cutting off any more protests, but kept his hands on my sides.

I moaned slightly, as turned his attention to my neck.

Fuck, Harry,” I hissed as he bit me lightly, thanking God that I had swiped a bottle of Eleanor’s concealer before she left.

I slid my hands up under his shirt and dragged my nails down his back. Harry grunted in response, before grabbing one of my thighs with his hand and pulling my leg upward and bucking me back against the door again. He was holding me up against the door, as our tongues battled for dominance. This whole encounter was a lot more intense than others we had had, and while it was certainly thrilling, it was also a bit off putting. And it didn’t seem like Harry was really getting the hint, as I soon felt one hand slide up and move to unhook my bra.

“Harry,” I said sternly, dropping my leg back to the ground.

This time, Harry groaned – and not in a good way. He pulled away, looking similar to what I’m sure I looked like – tussled hair, swollen lips, and red cheeks.

“Come on, JJ,” he muttered, breathing heavily and eyeing me up and down as I snapped my jeans back up.

“What?” I asked, frowning. “I told you before - I’m not sleeping with you.”

“And your still sticking to that?” He asked, disbelievingly.

I laughed at his shock and arrogance. “Yes, I am.”

“But why,” he whined, dragging out the ‘why’ like a toddler who was told he couldn’t have ice cream for dinner.

“Because.”

“Because you don’t love me?” he mocked, flattening his hair and tossing it over – his usual beauty regime. It was also one of his ‘oh look how innocent and charming I am’ moves, and I was not falling for it.

“No,” I replied. “I’m just not ready.”

“I call bollocks,” he snorted, heading over to the minibar and grabbing a beer. “No one kisses like that and says they aren’t ready.”

Well, he had caught me there. I was definitely ready for sex. In fact, I was almost desperate for sex. The way I felt when his pelvis was grinding against mine, or the way I felt hot all over when he kissed my neck...I was definitely ready and I definitely wanted it. But I wanted it to come with a relationship attached. I didn’t want to shag someone then have them run out to tell the world how single and ready mingle they were.

“Is it because you think I don’t fancy you?” Harry continued, smirking.

“Do you?” I asked, sending him an equally challenging smile.

“There’s lots of thing about you I fancy,” he responded, taking a swig of his beer and coming back over to me. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to look like he wasn’t getting under my skin, but I couldn’t help but blush and smile as he stared down at me under those dark locks.

“You’re fucking fit, for one,” Harry said, looping his fingers through the belt loops of my shorts and yanking me towards him. “You’ve got a stellar bum.” He pinched me and I squeaked, causing him to smirk some more and leer down at me. “You taste absolutely fantastic.” He kissed me deeply and I let my hands get lost in his curls.

“And,” he said, pulling away from me after a moment. “You’re easily the best looking person on tour. Besides me, of course.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes at him. “Well, that’s good to know.”

Harry grinned at me, his hands resting on my waist. I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him again, but a vibration in his trousers soon interrupted us.

“Wow, Haz, I’m flattered,” I commented, as he groaned and moved away, pulling his mobile from his pocket. Glancing at the text message, he sighed.

“Got to head back, my next interview is starting.” Harry looked up at me, a suddenly casual expression on his face, as if we hadn’t just spent the last twenty odd minutes snogging against his hotel room door. “Mind bringing me some tea?”

**

The rest of the day was a blur of interviews, promotional shoots and an incredibly long Meet and Greet. Again, I was pretty happy (thought utterly knackered) as Paul had assigned me numerous responsibilities throughout the day that kept me from getting too bored.

The boys, though, were just as tired as me after our late night drinking, so following the show we all agreed it would be best just to head to our rooms and stay in for the night. Because of the good mood I was in, I had some Disney movies on tap, as well as a date with the man from Room Service who I planned on having bring me a massive cookie sundae.

Unfortunately for me, as soon as I had settled in to my incredibly comfortable bed, my mobile went off. Considering it was nearing midnight, I wasn’t quite sure who would be calling me. I was definitely surprised to see it was my sister, Felicity.

“Hey, Fizzy,” I greeted, confusion in my voice.

“Hi JJ,” she responded, somewhat slowly.

“Why are you calling me? Shouldn’t you be heading to school soon?” I asked, doing the math in my head. Damn time differences were always throwing me off.

“Um, well, you told me to call you. You know. If I had news.”

“Oh. Oh! Right!” I suddenly sat up straighter in bed, waiting for her to continue. She didn’t.

“...and?”

“Oh...well...um...”

“Spit it out, Fiz!”

“The rest of your letters are here,” she blurted, before pausing to hear my reaction.

My heart literally stopped beating. “All of them? What do they say...?”

The following pause was the longest of my life. “...I’m really sorry, JJ.”

At first, I was sure that I had heard her wrong. It couldn’t possibly have been true. I couldn’t possibly have been denied at every university I had applied to. No...that couldn’t happen.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, fighting to keep my voice steady. “You’re...you’re sure?”

“Yes. You didn’t get in anywhere. I’m really, really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I croaked, before clearing my throat. A feeling of complete and utter failure settled over me. Was I really so worthless, such a hopeless case that no one was willing to take a chance on me? “Thanks for letting me know.”

The one consolation I could take from this desperate disappointment was the fact that no one else, besides my sister, knew about it. No one else was a witness to my insignificance.

We were silent for a minute, as I tried to compose myself. It was clear though, even through the phone, that there was something else one her mind.

“JJ?” she asked hesitantly. “Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah, Fizzy. Anything,” I replied, blinking away the tears that were threatening to fall.

“Are you dating Harry?”

Needless to say, I was not expecting her to ask me that. I had made it clear on previous conversations with my family that there was nothing going on between us, though it seemed that, like Louis, they had their doubts. Which, I guess made sense, considering there was something going with me and Harry. I really was a shit liar.

“No, Fiz, I’ve told you before.”

“Okay,” she said, slowly. “So you’re not upset about that girl?”

“What girl?” I asked, distractedly.

“The girl that is all over the internet this morning. Apparently Harry was out with her last night.”

“Harry went out with friends from home last night, Fiz,” I replied, still trying to refocus my attention on the current topic of conversation. I was really denied everywhere?

“Well, they must be really close friends,” she muttered.

“You can’t believe everything you read,” I replied smartly, knowing how out of control so many of the stories where regarding One Direction. “You should know that by now.”

“I’m not reading anything!” she defended. “I’m looking at the pictures!”

For some reason, this revelation knocked me out of my mental self-pity party. “Pictures?” I asked idiotically. “What do you mean, pictures?”

“I mean,” my sister replied, using her ‘duh’ tone. “That there are pictures all over the internet of Harry snogging some skinny blonde bird last night!”

I blinked.

Skinny blonde bird?

Grabbing my laptop from the nightstand, I put the phone on speaker. “What website are you looking at?”

“Any of the normal ones,” Fizzy replied easily. “Or just go on tumblr.”

Of course. Tumblr – where privacy goes to die. But, at least the MI6 trained Directioners would be able to Sherlock-Holmes this sitch and let me know whether or not this was actually true.

And after about two minutes of trolling, it was clear that it was.

Her name was Emma.

She was American.

She was a model.

And she was sucking Harry’s face off in front of some house in the dead of the night.

Probably at the same time I was running around in my knickers and getting caught by Paul.

I hated her immediately.

“That fucking twat!”

“Who? JJ? Who are you talking about?”

“Huh? What?” I asked, looking around before realizing Fizzy was still on speakerphone.

“Did you find her?”

“Um, no, sorry, I just realized Niall ate my crisps,” I offered, trying to hide the true reason for my fury.

“Oh...okay...”

“Listen, Fizz, I’ll let you get to school. Thanks for calling me though.”

“Oh, alright. Well, bye JJ.”

I immediately clicked off and threw my bed sheets off of me, suddenly and irrevocably furious. That fucking slag. And I wasn't talking about this Emma bird.

I stormed down the hallway to Harry’s room, not even bothering to be on the look out for Paul or any of the other security guys who were undoubtedly wandering around. Banging loudly, I tried to keep my cool. There was sure to be a logical explanation for all of this...photoshop or something.

Harry pulled the door open, looking groggy. He started to smile when he saw me, but that smile fell as soon as I shoved past him into the room. I paced angrily back and forth while Harry shut the door, coming into the sitting area and looking at me in confusion.

“You alright, JJ?”

“Who’s Emma?” I asked, spinning to face him, my throat tightening with emotion. I stared him down, daring him to lie to me.

Harry blinked and then sighed. “Erm...she’s a friend.”

“The friend you went to see last night?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “We met last year at a video shoot.”

For some reason, I wished he would have lied to me. I wish he would have told me something else and done it with more conviction, at least attempt to protect my feelings. I wanted him to fight for me, I wanted someone to fight for me. But instead he just stood there, sagging his shoulders like a boy caught sneaking a biscuit, and admitted it so casually, so fucking honestly. And that pissed me off.

“Have you shagged her?” I asked, my mouth dry.

“What?” he asked, looking surprised I asked.

“Have you,” I bit out through gritted teeth, “at any point between last year and this moment shagged her?”

His lack of response was answer enough for me. I reached up and slapped him.

“What the fuck was that for?” he cried, rubbing his cheek.

“You’ve been using me!” I yelled at him, a flood of images – many of them from that morning – swarming into my mind.

“Using you?” he challenged, his face angry. “What about you using me?”

I stared at him. “Are you out of your fucking head?! What the hell has been going on the past month and a half? I’ve been a convenience snog for you and you know it!”

“It takes two to tango, Tomlinson,” he shot back.

“Stop alliterating and own up to being a complete knob head. You’ve been stringing me along with your smirking and your flirting and your fucking torso, when you knew all along you were going to be meeting up with that slag!”

“She’s not a slag,” Harry cut in, which only made me angrier. Sure, in this situation, if there was going to be a slag, it would definitely be me and not this Emma girl, but the fact that he was defending her infuriated me. “And you knew that this wasn’t anything serious.”

That was true, I did know that, but it still didn’t change the fact that it fucking hurt finding out that he was off with someone else rather than me.

“Is it because I wouldn’t sleep with you?” I asked, my chest tightening.

“JJ...”

“Is it because I wouldn’t sleep with you?”

“No, she’s a friend and I wanted to see her,” he answered forcefully. “It had absolutely nothing to do with you. You didn’t even cross my mind when she texted me asking to meet up.”

For some reason, that hurt more than if he had said it was because I wouldn’t put out.

“And this morning?” I asked in a small voice. “What about this morning? I seemed to be on your mind then.”

Harry sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed, running a hand through his hair.

“JJ, I’m really sorry about this. I didn’t...I didn’t mean for you to get upset. But, I thought we were on the same page. This, whatever this is between us, it isn’t serious. You’ve never wanted it to be serious. You’re too worried about what Louis and the fans and everyone else will think. Well, look at it this way – now everyone knows for sure we aren’t together and you don’t have to worry anymore.”

I blinked at him, a million thoughts racing through my brain, getting mixed and jumbled, and not allowing me to think straight. That, combined with the other news I had just received, I really wasn’t in a good place. And he had a point, the bastard.

This was the ending moment, right here. I could have a clean break from Harry and we could go our separate ways – he could be swept up in the oncoming drama of the Emma incident and I could just keep my head down and get lost in the shuffle.

But did I really want it to end on this note? Did I really want to have my affair with Harry Styles end like this? With him shacking up with another girl and me just going back to my lonely room with my tail between my legs? Where was the justice in that?

Like I said before – my head was not screwed on correctly at the moment. I was depressed, angry, confused, and feeling an enormous amount of self pity, but looking back, I still can’t really understand why I did what I did next.

Striding towards him, I pushed his shoulders and shoved him back onto the bed, before straddling him and pressing my lips against his.

“Grruph, JJ,” Harry protested, pushing me away slightly. “What are you doing?”

“Well, if this is over, I at least want to get some break up sex in,” I replied, before kissing him again. Harry eagerly kissed me back, even flipping me over so that I was underneath him, Harry Jr. pressed roughly against my inner thigh. It took him a moment, however, to comprehend what I had said.

“Wait,” he pulled away again, looking down at me. “Break up sex?”

I wiggled my eyebrows at him, but for some reason, he didn’t seem as excited as I thought he would.

“No, I can’t,” he shook his head, curls bouncing back and forth. “You’re just pissed and that’s why...you don’t actually want to.”

“I do though,” I said stubbornly, pulling his head back down to me, before adding in a husky voice, “I want you so fucking bad, Harry Styles.”

Apparently my “being sexy” voice worked better than I thought it would, because Harry no longer seemed at all hesitant. We made out for a bit longer on his bed, before it became clear that he couldn’t wait much longer. Yanking his shirt up over his head, Harry made a move to pull down my gym shorts, untying the little knot at the front to make access easier.

“Harry, wait.” I found my voice suddenly, as his cool fingertips darted over the skin just above my waistband. “Erm...do you have...you know...”

And just like that, I was back to my awkward, self conscious self. So much so, that I couldn’t even say the word ‘condom’ in front of the man I was about to have sex with. All the boldness and determination that had been coursing through my veins dissipated with one look into Harry’s eager green eyes. Suddenly, I was terrified.

“Yeah, of course,” he grinned, sliding off of me and darting over to his duffel bag near the window.

I sat up and watched him, my heart beating out of my chest. The moonlight shining through the open blinds illuminated him beautifully, and looked almost statuesque as he hunched over, searching. He really was so incredibly perfect in so many incredible ways. The enormity of what was about to happen hit me like a freight train. I was about to sleep with Harry Styles.

Sure, I had enjoyed snogging him. I had enjoyed the thought of making all of those nasty fans jealous. I enjoyed the thought of finally catching the popular, good looking guy for once. But now that it was actually happening...

I started to break out into a cold sweat.

“Got it,” Harry cheered, standing up and holding the little silver wrapper up triumphantly. I tried to give him a winning smile and stood to join him.

“You know, JJ,” he continued, opening it up. “I never would have thought, with your skills with your tongue, that you were still a virgin.” He shot me a flirtatious look, surely one he thought would make me completely desirous. Instead I shivered.

“You sure you’ve never done this before?” he asked huskily, coming back towards me.

I shook my head, my breathing getting faster. No – I hadn’t. I was a nineteen year old virgin, something that I was (or, until this point at least thought I was) eager to change. I was so eager, but never believed anyone was interested. Even Nathan, my one and only boyfriend hadn’t been interested. So why wasn’t I completely screaming with excitement now?

My inexperience was terrifying, that was why. In a desperate effort to hide my discomfort, I tried to joke until the last possible minute.

“Does that really surprise you?” I asked lightly, though I knew my voice was shaking.

“Yes, actually,” he replied. I took a step back.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “JJ, if you don’t want to do this...”

“I do!” I said quickly, moving back toward him. “I mean...I think I do.”

“Alright then,” he smiled, brushing some of my hair away from my face.

Our bodies were so close now and I was feeling very warm, though I doubted it had anything to do with the New Zealand air that was wafting through the hotel window. In the briefest moment, I studied his face - a face that millions loved and swooned over. He was incredibly handsome; there was no doubt about that. He was a music superstar, he was a millionaire, he was front-page news wherever he went. And he was standing here with me.

The thought made me slightly sick.

His fingers played with the hem of my t-shirt, before sliding under and across my warm skin. He was so cool to the touch that I shivered slightly. He smiled against my mouth, before pulling me sharply against him. Caught off guard, I fell forward, my hands on his chest to brace myself. He was unbelievably toned, and though I always thought him to be a bit scrawny to look at, he was also very strong. Breaking away momentarily, he pulled my shirt up over my head, so our bare torsos pressed against one another. I couldn’t help but feel utterly self-conscious.

“You’re so sexy, JJ,” he whispered in my ear, before lightly kissing my neck. I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy it. In fact, when my eyes were closed, I enjoyed it a bit more. I could pretend he was someone else.

I gasped when a hand slid up and grabbed my breast, causing him to chuckle. Returning his lips to my mouth, he kissed me again, backing me up toward the bed.

I felt he was being a bit possessive, the way his tongue dominated mine and the way he was directing me around the room, but I was quickly distracted from those thoughts when his hands slid up to cup my back and unhooked my bra in one swift and deft movement.

And that was it.

I jumped away from him as if I had been shocked. “No,” I said quickly, shaking my head and staring at the floor. I could not look him in the eye. I knew all I would find there was disappointment. “No, I can’t.”

“Fuck,” he sighed, again running his hand through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, glancing ashamedly at him.

He sighed again, looking rather put out, but then gave me a somewhat comforting smile. “It’s alright JJ. Just...do you think you can head back to your own room, then? I’ve got some...things...to take care of.”

“Oh, right,” I replied, catching sight of his trousers, and the blood rushed to my face. “Sorry again.”

He tossed me my shirt from where it was crumpled in a pile near his feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow, JJ.”

“Right.”

With that eloquent and graceful end to a completely mortifying encounter, I rushed out of the room as fast as I could, not even bothering to dress myself until I was in the hallway. Clasping my bra and shrugging into my shirt, I stood awkwardly in the corridor, staring at the stark white door that closed behind me. For a moment, it was so quiet, so peaceful, so completely unlike the last two months. I took a deep breath.

Then, I started to cry.

Everything collided at once in my brain. The fact that I had been denied at every university I had applied to. The fact that I was a complete failure in the eyes of my parents. The fact that I had no future whatsoever. I couldn’t play football anymore. I had completely ruined any chance of having a meaningful relationship with a guy who, for some unknown reason, had shown some interest. And I wasn’t even mad at Harry. I was mad at myself for getting into such a stupid situation.

I didn’t fancy Harry. I didn’t. And he didn’t fancy me. That was fine. But once again, I wasn’t good enough. It was all too much.

I shuffled down the hall, sniffling and trying to control my breathing. There was really only once person I could go to in a time like this. Only one thing I wanted to do.

I know hesitantly on the hotel room door, taking in deep, steadying breaths and hoping to hold off the impending onslaught. When Louis opened the door, though, I completely broke down.

Falling into his arms, I sobbed.

“I want to go home,” I cried incoherently, crushing myself into him and relishing the sense of familiarity and security that I found there. The last time I had really broken down (apart from the first day in Australia) – when our parents first announced their divorce – Louis had been there for me just like this, and though I doubt he would make things any better, it was still nice knowing he was there.

“What?” he asked, smoothing my hair down and shutting the door behind me. “What do you mean you want to go home? Janie, what’s wrong?”

“I just want to go home,” I sputtered again.

“We’ll all be going home in a few days,” Louis answered quietly, holding me tightly. “We’ll all be going home soon.”

“Now,” I sniffed babyishly. “Please, Louis. I need to get out of here.”

He pulled away, brows furrowed in concern. “JJ, what happened? Tell me what’s wrong. You were fine just a few hours ago...”

“Nothing,” I replied lamely, shrugging away from him. “I’m just...homesick, I guess.”

Louis didn’t believe me, but let me walk away from him without challenging me. I clearly didn’t think this through. Louis would, of course, want to know why I was so upset, especially since I did not get that way often. I closed my eyes and wiped some of the tears from my face, knowing that I had to tell him something, anything to let me leave.

Taking a shaky breath, I turned to look into his blue eyes, eyes that were so much like my own.

“I didn’t get into university.”

He blinked. “What?”

Sighing, I sat down on his bed and pulled my knees up to my chest. “I know I told you and Mum and everyone that I didn’t apply, but I did. And I didn’t get in.”

“Wait,” my brother said, still confused. He came and sat down next to me, trying to work it out in his sleepy head. “You applied to university?” I nodded. “Then, why did you lie about it? Why did you let Mum come down on you like that?”

“Because, I wanted to surprise you all,” I sniffed. “Besides, I wasn’t planning on going until next year, since I wanted another year of football. But then I got hurt and...Mum wanted me to use the fact that I’m your sister in my applications.” Louis’s eyebrows raised.

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I know she was just trying to help, you know? Kept telling me I should use your story as part of my essay. She thought it might help me get in places.”

“JJ...”

“I didn’t though,” I started sobbing again. “I wanted to prove I could do it on my own. I wanted to show you all that I’m just as good as you or Lottie or the girls.”

“You don’t need to prove that to anyone, Jay,” Louis replied, hugging me close to him as I cried on his shoulder. “You are an amazing person and everyone knows it.”

I let out a bitter laugh. “Well, I’m clearly not amazing enough to get into Uni.”

“How do you know you didn’t get in?”

“Fizzy called me. She’s been checking the mail before she heads to school and before Mum could see. She got all my decision letters.”

Louis sighed and squeezed my hand. “And that’s why you want to go home? Because you’re upset about university?”

“Among other things,” I muttered. Louis waited patiently for me to continue. “Well, there’s also this bloody Harry thing...”

“What Harry thing?” he asked, his face stony.

“Nothing like that,” I replied, my voice strained. “It’s just...everyone seems to think we’re together and all the Twitter and Tumblr abuse is really starting to get to me is all...”

Louis visibly relaxed. Apparently I was getting better at lying. “I wouldn’t worry about that, love. Harry went out with some girl last night, and I know that, already, everything is blowing up about it. You’ll be forgotten about soon enough.”

My chest tightened and steeled myself against the tears threatening to spill. Nice to know I was forgettable, I suppose.

“Anything else?” Louis prodded.

I sniffed and decided I might as well just lay it all out there.

“I want a boyfriend,” I said bluntly. Louis frowned and ran a hand through his hair – something all these boys seemed to do when they felt uncomfortable.

“Well, I don’t know if I can really help with that...”

“I know,” I mumbled. “But you wanted to know what all was bothering me so...”

“You’ll find someone, JJ,” Louis said comfortingly. “You’ll find someone who makes you feel like your best self when you’re with them, who makes you laugh all the time, who you can tell anything...you’ll find that person eventually and you’ll know that they are one not to let go.”

I chuckled slightly. “Since when did you become so wise in the ways of love?”

“Since I found someone who I can see myself spending my whole life with, that’s when.”

I blinked at him. We had never really talked about our love lives, but it was clear to anyone who saw them together that El and Louis made each other incandescently happy.

“Really?” I asked, smiling through my teary eyes. “You feel that way about Eleanor?”

He smiled back, blushing slightly. “I do, yeah.”

“But when did you know this?” I asked, still in awe of the fact we were having this conversation. “When did you know that she could be the one?”

“I know the exact moment, actually,” he smiled. “I woke up one morning and had the absolute craziest dream...I don’t even remember what the dream was about now, but at the time I knew I needed to tell someone. And the fact that she was the first person I wanted to tell...I just sort of hit me right then.”

“That she was the love of your life?”

“That she was my best friend.”

I paused and looked at him, a faraway look in his eyes. I suddenly felt my heart swell.

Louis blinked, coming back to the present moment, and turned to me. “You’ll find someone, JJ. I promise you.”

I gave him a small, grateful smile and leaned my head on his shoulder. “You’re not going to let me go home early, are you?” I asked after a moment.

“Nope,” he replied. “I don’t want you sitting at home alone, wallowing in self pity.”

“So you’re going to make me do it behind the merch booth?”

“Exactly.” He grinned down at me and I rolled my eyes. “You’re going to be alright, JJ,” he said again, pulling me close.

“I know,” I sighed.

“Hey,” he said, looking down, concern in his eyes. “You’re sure there isn’t going on between you and Harry that I should be worried about? You can tell me, you know. I know I've been a tosser about it, but...I just want you to be happy.”

I looked up at him. “There is nothing going on between me and Harry.”

Not anymore.

Comments

Best f*cking fanfic I ever read!!!! You had my feels skyrocketing the entire time I swear I almost died!! You are such a bad ass writer!!Please keep writing more stories!?!?!

crazyfor1D crazyfor1D
6/22/14
The best fanfic I've read. I'm still obsessed. Sequel pleaaaaseeee?
anntiongson1d anntiongson1d
11/10/13
wow this is perfect!!
can I translate it into Hebrew? for the israelies ?
bmfh bmfh
6/21/13
wow this is perfect!!
can I translate it into Hebrew? for the israelies ?
bmfh bmfh
6/21/13
oh i absolutely loved the story and am solo glad she ended up with Niall!
jessiLove jessiLove
1/21/13