Login with:








Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Someone Like You

Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)

I don’t like New York City.

It smells, the people are rude, it is incredibly big, and is a fucking five hour flight from Los Angeles.

Which meant a five hour flight in close proximity to Harry Styles with no hope of escape, unless I wanted to throw myself out above the Grand Canyon, or something. I had managed to bribe Niall with all of my snacks to switch seats with me, so that I was as far away from Harry in the cabin as humanly possible, but that didn’t mean he didn’t send me these pompous little smiles that made me want to slap him. It also meant I was sitting next to Liam (Danielle was on his other side), which made things uncomfortable as well.

Then, to make the flight that much worse, my iPod decided to konk out on me. Liam, being the sweetheart that he was, let me listen to on of his headphones, while he listened to the other, but he seems to like really shit music. I swear, if I hear ‘Party Rock Anthem’ one more time...

Needless to say, I hate Harry Styles. And I had five hours of bad music, even worse food, and and a front row seat to the Liam and Danielle Cuddle Show.

I also had five hours to reflect on the night before.

I’ll be honest, I did kiss him back. His lips were soft, but this kiss was forceful, catching me off guard. His hands had come up to cup my face, holding me to him. I kissed him back, like I said, but only for a moment, until I realized what I was doing and had a minor brain aneurism.

I had jumped away as if I had been shocked, staring up at him with wide, confused eyes. Harry, as expected, smirked and leaned back in for another go.

“I have to piss!” I had announced bluntly, before darting around him and back into my room, locking the door behind me.

I didn’t sleep at all the night, or on the plane, or back in the hotel when we finally reached New York. The boys, of course, had promo appointments, but I had made some excuse so I could stay behind, in order to avoid Harry at all costs. Whenever I thought about this kiss, my stomach twisted in knots, so much so that I almost felt sick. So, I tried not to think about it, but it was hard, especially when Danielle and Eleanor were bouncing around asking me all about how I enjoyed my birthday.

I sort of wanted to tell Eleanor, as she was incredibly perceptive about things like this, but I couldn’t trust her not to tell Louis, whom she told everything. So, I stayed in my hotel room and tried to avoid all of them.

This plan worked well until I got a text from Niall asking me to go out and get them Thai food for when they got back from their interviews. Now, I hate Thai food, so this wasn’t the most pleasant task I had been assigned. I sent some over-dramatic, passive aggressive Tweets, voicing my displeasure, before shuffling out into NYC.

Rather than go hungry, I stopped at a Chicken Truck for a sandwich before heading into the closest Thai restaurant to get our order. Of course, I was stopped a few times along the way by people who wanted pictures, but after my conversation with Zayn the night before I was less interested in obliging them. Louis seemed to think I was in this for my own fame, and I wasn’t going to give him any more fuel. So, I told the girls no and carried on with my business.

Bringing the food back to the hotel, I dropped each order off in the individual rooms (I gave Niall both his and Harry’s order by ‘accident’), ending at Louis’s. He was still being a twat, of course, and since my talk with Zayn I was even angrier with him than I had before.

He opened the door when I knocked, his relatively happy expression dropping when he saw me. Without a word he turned and headed back into the room. Biting back my anger, I followed him, dropping the bag on the table and giving Eleanor a strained smile.

“Hi JJ!” she greeted brightly, before looking between the two of us. The smile fell from her pretty face and she pushed herself off of the bed. “Alright, that’s enough.”

“El,” Louis groaned, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Please don’t.”

“You two need to start talking and stop acting like a pair of twats,” Eleanor said angrily, shoving me closer to him. “I don’t care if you’re in here for five hours – just work it out!” With that she turned on her heel and stormed off, slamming the hotel room door behind her.

Louis and I stood in silence for a moment, quietly fuming at each other and both determined to make the other speak first. He was more stubborn than I was, though.

“Why are you being such a dick to me?” I asked abruptly, glaring at him. Louis glared back, but didn’t respond. “What did I do to you?” I asked instead, almost begging for an answer.

“You lied to me,” he bit out.

I rolled my eyes. “When did I ever lie to you, Louis? You always say I’m such a terrible liar.”

“When you told me why you wanted to come on tour,” he answered bitterly. “You said you wanted to spend more time with me, when actually, you wanted to get with Harry.”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” I asked in disbelief. The idea was comical – or at least, would have been if Harry hadn’t kissed me the night before. “That’s not the reason at all! You’ve completely lost the plot, Louis.”

I’ve lost the plot?” he challenged, coming towards me. “I’m not stupid, JJ. Everyone can see how you’ve been falling over him recently. Even the fans have seen it and have made it perfectly obvious how they feel. I specifically asked you not to get involved with him. It could ruin everything.”

“We’re not involved!” I yelled, throwing my arms out in frustration. “There is nothing going on!” (Was there?) “I can’t believe you would take the word of your psycho fans and some radio hosts over mine.”

“I’ve seen the pictures, Jay! I’ve seen the way you look around him. It’s like you live for the attention he gives you.”

“So, now I’m not supposed to enjoy having boys pay attention to me? Louis, you’re not making any sense. And have you said anything to Harry? You’ve haven’t been an asshole to him as far as I can tell.”

“Harry is my best mate.”

“So am I!”

“No, you’re my little sister.”

I was shocked by this. “When did that change?” I asked, my throat tight. “We used to be best friends.”

“Since you’ve turned into someone I don’t know anymore. You’ve been completely wasted for half the tour, you are confrontational with fans, and you, who apparently hate the fame part of all this, seem to enjoy all the attention this is bringing you!”

I blinked at him and his exaggerations. Was he on drugs or something?

“I’ve barely seen you for the past two years,” I bit out. “I wanted to come on this tour to spend more time with you, that wasn’t a lie. But, I’m not the same sixteen year old you left to go on the X-Factor. I’ve grown up. I drink, I like to party, I enjoy it when boys pay attention to me. I don’t have football anymore and I don’t know what I’m doing with the rest of my life, but I do know that I wanted to have a few months of fun. And I was until you started being a twat.”

“That’s right,” my brother replied, still looking angry. “Your life has gone to shit so now you feel the need to tag along with me to try and make yourself feel better. Being my sister won’t make you famous, important or special, JJ. You’re just a personal assistant. And a rather useless one at that, you just lie around all day Tweeting and being an overall bitch to fans.”

I felt like I had been punched in the chest.

“Well then why don’t you just send me home then?” I asked challengingly. “It’s clear you don’t want me here.”

“Believe me, I’ve tried,” he shot back and my stomach dropped.


Louis continued while I tried to wrap my head around what he was saying. “I tried to get you on a flight before we left for Los Angeles, after that bloody interview. For some reason, Paul, of all people, seems convinced you should stay and wouldn’t let me book it.”

“I don’t want to go home,” I muttered meekly. I couldn’t be sent home – even though I didn’t do anything wrong – and face my parents. I couldn’t be that much of a failure.

“No, I’m sure you don’t,” he sneered, before moving away and sitting down on the bed, opening his lap-top.

I really didn’t have the energy at that point to argue anymore with him. It was clear he was too delusional, too caught up in himself to listen to anything I had to say.

“I’ll just stay away from you then,” I said, backing towards the door, wishing that he would look up, smile, and be the crazy older brother I had always thought he was. But I didn’t know this Louis.

“You do that.”

I left then, walking numbly back down the hallway to my room. Part of me thought that I should tell Eleanor what had happened...maybe she could work as a mediator or something? But I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. My head was filled with so many thoughts and my stomach hurt and I just didn’t know which way was up anymore.

I shut myself up in my room and opened my computer, determined to prove Louis wrong. Surely the stuff online wasn’t as bad as he was making it out to be. I hadn’t looking at my Twitter in a while, and I had been avoiding Tumbr, but I needed to know.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Jarry Stylinson was becoming just as popular as Larry Stylinson – and by popular, I mean the exact opposite. It seemed that most people believed in it, but were not supportive at all. There were even entire Tumbr’s dedicated to mine and Harry’s nonexistent relationship – photos, Twitter screen caps, quotes that we had each apparently made at some point in reference to one another...

One photo in particular caught my eye – it was from Disney World the day before. Niall was taking a picture with one of the girls from Splash Mountain, a happy smile on his face. In the background were two people – clearly Harry and me. I was sitting on the railing and Harry was standing between my legs. His back was to the camera, but the way he was positioned, it really looked like we were kissing. Had I not been there myself and known that we hadn’t, I probably would have believed it as well.

Twitter was a lot of the same – mostly innocuous mentions, people wanting follows or retweets, but the nasty ones always stuck out. Numerous death threats, dozens of insults and few shots at my looks, it was again clear that most people thought Harry and I were indeed together, and that I was a complete fame whore. There were also a few angry ones – apparently I was now being an utter bitch to fans and refusing pictures. I really couldn’t win, could I?

I shut my computer, locking my jaw and trying to not let it all get to me. I pondered what Louis had said. Yes, I had changed over the last two years. Did I want all these terrible things being said about me? No. But did I like the idea of all those girls being jealous of me? ...Maybe. I had never really had something that other people wanted, or were envious of. I still didn’t, really, since I wasn’t dating Harry. But I never thought I would be that girl, the one who gets the popular boy. It felt sort of nice, even though it was a lie.

It didn’t help that I still couldn’t wrap my mind around what Harry was on about. The fact that he had kissed me last night didn’t help my confusion. What was that about? I couldn’t believe he would fancy me...he was most likely just doing it to make me uncomfortable, since that did seem to be his sole purpose in life.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was off of my bed and out the door.

“Oh, hey JJ,” Niall grinned, opening the door I had just pounded on.

“Is Harry here?” I asked bluntly and Niall blinked. I felt a bit bad, so I softened my tone. “I...I need to talk to him.”

“Ugh, yeah, we were just finishing up dinner. I’ll see you later, Haz,” Niall said over his shoulder, before giving me a smile and stepping around me.

I entered the room, my hands feeling clammy, as I saw Harry sitting at the table, Thai food cartons spread around the table. I was glad I got the chicken sandwich from the truck, since that stuff smelled wretched. He didn’t turn as I entered, but instead sat there, looking annoying handsome in his button up shirt and fitted jeans. Bastard.

“Why did you kiss me?” I asked bluntly, crossing my arms and attempting to look angry and not scared shitless.

Harry casually looked up at me, a lazy smirk on his face. “Hullo, JJ. Having a good evening?”

“Why did you kiss me?” I asked again, more forcefully.

Harry ran a hand through his hair, looking up at me underneath his obnoxiously long eyelashes. That boy really was too good looking. I glanced away from him, starting to get anxious under his unnerving gaze.

“Didn’t you like it?” he asked, standing and coming towards me.

“Stop dodging the question.” I took a step backward, not liking one bit how my heart began to race the closer he got to me.

“I kissed you,” he began, shrugging his shoulders as if he didn’t have a care in the world, “because I wanted to.”

I blinked. “That...that isn’t a good enough answer!”

“Isn’t it?”

“No, it isn’t.” I was getting annoyed now. “You can’t...you can’t just do that to someone, you know? Especially me. I’m-I’m your friend and your best friend’s sister and you can’t just pull that on me - ”

One side of Harry’s mouth turned upward, as if he knew something I didn’t.

“You know Liam will never leave Danielle for you.”

I started, caught off guard by the statement. “I’m aware, thank you,” I said coldly, wishing I could somewhat understand what he was on about.

“So you should just forget about him.”

“And what? Fancy you instead?”

“Everyone already thinks we’re together.”

“But we’re not,” I said firmly. “And yet you constantly flirt and make these comments and smirk and let everyone, including Louis, think we are together and driving me completely insane and - ”

He stepped forward and pressed his lips against mine, cutting off my rambling. I squeaked in surprise, my mind going blurry for a moment, before shoving him off of me.

“Stop it!”

Harry chuckled at me. He was so incredibly infuriating.

“Come on, JJ. You know you enjoy it.”

My cheeks were burning. “I don’t.”

“You’re a terrible liar.”

“Do you fancy me?” I asked, desperate for some sort of answer. “Is that why you’re doing this? Or are you just trying to get a rise out of me?”

Now, it was Harry’s turn to look confused. “Does it have to be one or the other?”

“Are there any other options?”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. We stood there for a moment, facing each other, and I wondered just what was going on in the pretty little head of his. Finally, he looked up at me.

“Listen, JJ, I don’t know if I fancy you. All I know is that you looked...when I saw you before the award show...I guess, I just found myself really attracted to you...”

I watched him trying to find his words, my mind racing a mile a minute. Was Harry Styles actually saying this to me? That he was attracted to me? This couldn’t be happening.

“I don’t understand,” I whispered to myself, looking away.

“Well, you are quite fit, you know,” he replied, and I could hear the amusement creeping back into his voice. “And then you’re running around in just your knickers...You can’t really blame me.”

I shook my head. “This is ridiculous. We can’t...we can’t do this. If you’re fans found out...if Louis found out...”

“I’m not looking for a girlfriend, JJ,” he clarified. “I’m just looking to have a little fun. And who better than with you?”

“But,” I started, stuttering. “But...you’re you! You don’t need to kiss girls like me, you have thousands of desperate birds screaming your name every night.”

“I could make you scream my name, too, if you want.”

“Be serious, Harry,” I growled as he winked at me.

“But I am being serious,” he replied, peering down his nose at me and taking a step forward, making me even more uncomfortable as our bodies were nearly touching.

“I’m not going to sleep with you,” I croaked, unable to stop looking into his emerald eyes.

“Maybe not yet,” he shrugged unconcernedly, reaching up to tuck a wisp of hair behind my ear.

“I’m not,” I repeated, though less confidently this time.

He chuckled, his warm breath tickling my face. My eyes fluttered shut as his fingers gently traced my jaw line and he moved even closer.

What was I doing? This couldn’t really be happening...

In one moment, I thought about many things. I thought about Liam and Danielle and how bloody perfect they were for one another and that I would be lucky to experience half of the love they shared. I thought about the Twitter accounts and the Tumblr blogs dedicated to hating me, calling me a fame whore and a slut and a bitch. I thought about Nathan and how he was the last boy I had kissed. I thought about my parents and how much I disappointed them. I thought about Louis and how little I knew him anymore.

“No one can find out,” I whispered. “No one can know.”

Harry smirked, before kissing me deeply. Quickly, I was lost.


Best f*cking fanfic I ever read!!!! You had my feels skyrocketing the entire time I swear I almost died!! You are such a bad ass writer!!Please keep writing more stories!?!?!

crazyfor1D crazyfor1D
The best fanfic I've read. I'm still obsessed. Sequel pleaaaaseeee?
anntiongson1d anntiongson1d
wow this is perfect!!
can I translate it into Hebrew? for the israelies ?
bmfh bmfh
wow this is perfect!!
can I translate it into Hebrew? for the israelies ?
bmfh bmfh
oh i absolutely loved the story and am solo glad she ended up with Niall!
jessiLove jessiLove