Ouch.

Pain. Lots of pain. It felt like I had been trampled by a herd of rampaging rhinoceros and then dropped off a ninety foot cliff and then beaten by my Aunt Hattie’s rolling pin which happened to be the size of Texas.

Ouch.

Forcing my crusty eyes open, I blinked away the sleep-bogies and gingerly moved my tired body upright.

Ow, my head.

I lay back down with a painful thud, closing my eyes against the dim light. I hate hangovers.

I fully intended on falling back asleep and never waking up, until I felt that familiar yet incredibly annoying pressure building up in my lower abdomen.

Fuck, I need to piss.

Groaning dramatically, I sat up again, more slowly this time in order to save my poor brain. It gave me a chance to take in my surroundings. I was surprised, though, as there wasn’t much to take in. I had apparently made a bed for myself on the floor, using only a bath towel as a mattress and a sofa cushion as a pillow. I was not wearing my sparkly dress – the last memory I had of the night before was riding to the Bieber’s house on Zayn’s back and Eleanor screaming ‘Red Alert’ and the top of her lungs – but instead wearing nothing but Niall’s white polo, my lacy black knickers I had purchased at VS, and Dani’s borrowed strapless bra.

Interesting.

I also happened to be underneath a desk, which was covered with a bed sheet, creating some sort of fort for myself.

What the hell happened last night?

Pushing the sheet back slightly, I peered out into the room – Harry’s, as it turned out – and surveyed the damage. Yes, we definitely had a party here last night.

There were bodies scattered around the room in various states of undress, some on the floor, multiple in the bed, and there was even an extra mattress dragged in that Louis and Eleanor were entangled on, though (blessedly) still fully clothed. There were multitudes of beer cans, snack wrappers, un-inflated balloons, and just all around mayhem about the room, not to mention a half eaten cake, that looked like it had been stepped in, sitting on the floor.

I groaned again. Paul was going to kill us.

But, that was something to worry about later, as my bladder was crying out in distress. I crawled out of my fort on my hands and knees, not before smacking my head painfully against the underside of the desk, and stood on shaky legs in the middle of the chaotic scene. Yanking down the end of Niall’s polo (which was barely long enough to cover my bum) and stepping carefully over Sandy Beales’s comatose form, I found Harry’s bathroom, heading in and closing the door behind me. I managed to catch of glance of myself in the mirror, wincing at what I saw.

My hair, unavoidably, was a disaster, standing out at all angles and looking right nasty. My makeup was smeared and I had a large bruise above my right eye – apparently I had gotten into a brawl or I had hit my head on that pesky desk more than once. In too much pain to care about my appearance, I headed to the toilet, but stopped short upon seeing the bathtub. Turning, I headed back into the bedroom and over to Harry, who was spooning with Zayn and Josh on the bed. Apparently the band had all joined in the festivities last night.

“Haz,” I whispered, nudging him lightly. “Haz, wake up.”

“Huh? Wha?” he mumbled, snuggling into Zayn’s side.

“There’s a naked man in your tub.”

“Wha?” he asked again, not even opening his eyes.

“There is a naked man in your bathtub,” I repeated, looking over my shoulder to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating.

“What?” Harry lifted his head up slowly. “What do you mean?”

“I went to go wee and there is a naked bloke sleeping in the bath tub.”

“Huh...” Harry blinked a few times. “Oh. Must be Colin.”

“Who’s Colin?” I asked, completely bewildered.

“You know,” Harry yawned, going back to sleep. “Colin.”

I rolled my eyes, giving myself another headache. Rather than risk being raped and axe-murdered by the Colin bloke, I went to the adjoining room – mine - and headed to the bathroom there. My bedroom was in a similar state of disrepair. All of the sheets were missing from the bed, apparently having been put to use in my fort, and the karaoke machine was scattered around near the TV. There was only one person asleep in here, though, and that was Niall, who was sprawled out on my bed in his boxer shorts, snoring softly. Sneaky bugger got a bed all to himself.

I headed to the loo to relieve myself and splash some water on my face, before coming back out. Rather than return to my towel on the floor, I grabbed an extra blanket from the closet and crawled into bed next to Niall, shoving him over some to have some mattress for myself.

“Hmphgerehmph,” he grumbled, rolling over.

“Morning to you too, Sunshine,” I yawned. Hearing my voice, one of his eyes opened.

“Mmm, hi JJ,” he replied, stretching slightly and glancing at the clock. I looked too and moaned in annoyance.

“7:30,” I mumbled. Why is it the later you go to bed the earlier your body insists on waking you up?

“Go back to sleep,” he replied, draping arm over my waist and scooting closer. Our foreheads were nearly touching as we lay there and I closed my eyes, happy for the moment.

“Is there a reason I’m wearing your shirt?” I asked softly after a few minutes. Even though my eyes were closed, I could tell he wasn’t asleep. And even though I kept them shut, I somehow knew there was a smile on his face.

“You don’t remember last night?”

“Nothing after the beach,” I sighed, snuggling a bit into the pillow.

He laughed slightly. “I’m sure you’ll see the pictures.” I definitely opened my eyes at this.

“Pictures?”

Niall smiled at me, blue eyes sparkling. “Don’t worry, I didn’t let you do anything too embarrassing.”

I groaned again and shut my eyes tightly, trying desperately to remember something I had done last night, but only ending up with a more painful headache. Niall giggled a bit to himself before settling back in and dozing off. I joined him moments later, too exhausted to worry about the embarrassment that was sure to befall me later.

**

“It’s time to wake up in the morning...we’ve got ­– OW!”

“Oh, sorry, Liam,” Niall mumbled, having elbowed his mate in the side of the head at the greeting.

Niall tended to wake up rather violently, I’d noticed. I blinked awake, looking up at Liam through my disastrous hair, squinting around and wondering why the hell we weren’t allowed to continue sleeping. It had only been two hours since we fell asleep.

Liam, with an adorable, puppy dog look, rubbed his cheek tenderly, but other than his sore face, he seemed incredibly perky and awake. Sober bastard.

“Morning, birthday girl!” he chirped, sending me a smile. I grunted in response and fell back on the pillow.

“No, no, got to wake up, JJ,” Niall said, rubbing my arm and pushing me softly. “Wakey, wakey!”

“But I don’t wanna,” I whined, turning away from him.

Liam, in response, yanked the covers away and squeaked slightly in shock, as my bum was covered in nothing but small, lacy knickers. If the blast of cold air on my nether-regions wasn’t enough, the realization that Niall and Liam (Liam!!) were staring at my almost naked arse was enough motivation to get out of bed. Although, in my hungover/still slightly drunk state, I still wasn’t as coordinated as I usually am, so instead of landing gracefully on my feet, I ended up in a pile on the floor, moaning in pain and embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, JJ,” Liam laughed, as Niall came around to help me up. “Nothing you didn’t show us last night.”

“She can’t remember,” Niall laughed evilly, pulling me to my feet. Liam’s grin widened and I blushed. I thought he was supposed to be the sweet one!

“Why do we have to wake up?” I asked again, trying to change the subject.

“I was on strict orders,” Liam replied, holding up his hands defensively.

“From who?”

Liam pointed accusingly at Niall, who smiled sheepishly. “I wanted to make sure that we were up and ready to go.”

“For what?”

“Disney, of course,” he grinned and I could have kissed him.

Of course. I had completely forgotten about the fact that, for my birthday, on their day off, the boys were treating me to a day at Disneyland. I had only been to Disney World in Florida before, and it had been when I was five, so I didn’t remember much, so I was thrilled to be going again. After all, who wouldn’t want to go to the Happiest Place on Earth?

My stomach growled then and interrupted my manic hugging of Niall. “I’m hungry, though,” I said, looking at the two of them, before grabbing a pair of gym shorts and pulling them on. “Will food be made available?”

“Right this way, my dear,” Liam grinned, sweeping the door to Harry’s room open. Everyone else was awake, except for the narcoleptic Zayn, and was munching on some delicious looking room service.

“Hey!” they all shouted in greeting, before we all winced and hung our heads in pain.

“Mmm, hash browns,” I smiled, grabbing some from the tray and settling myself down at the foot of the bed next to Josh. I noticed that Louis was looking rather grumpy over on his mattress, but was quickly distracted by Eleanor, who – despite being just as hungover as I was – was looking no worse for wear. Bitch.

“JJ!” She grinned, crawling over to sit next to me. “So, I don’t know how much you remember about last night...”

“Nothing, apparently,” Liam supplied, cuddling up next to Danielle on the sofa. Eleanor winced slightly.

“Well...apparently we snogged at Bieber’s party?”

I felt the blood drain from my face as the memory crept back into my brain. “Oh shit. You’re right.”

“It was really magical,” Harry interjected, leaning down from the bed to smirk at me. “If you want to do it again, I wouldn’t mind...”

“But I would,” Louis snapped and Eleanor glared at him.

I looked at the others in confusion, but they all seemed to be just as lost as I was in regards to Louis’s PMSing.

“What do you remember?” Dani asked, breaking the awkward silence.

“Ugh...leaving the party? I know I don’t remember anything from there.”

They all grinned at each other.

“Well, you were a real treat, let me tell you,” Harry said. “Let’s see, there was the drunken karaoke – which you are complete rubbish at, by the way.”

“I am?” I asked, disappointed.

“Yep,” Josh replied. “You had the words right on the screen and you still got them wrong.”

“Like what?” I hardly believed that I wouldn’t be able to sing along to well known songs, especially when I had the lyrics right in front of me, no matter how drunk I was.”

“Well, in ‘What If God Was One Of Us’ you sang, ‘eating sandwiches on a bus’.”

“And then on ‘Halo’ you said, ‘remember those calls I took, well baby I wrote them all down,” Liam added, helping himself to some toast.

“Okay, what else,” I asked dismissively.

“You were desperate to go skinny dipping in the pool,” he continued with a chuckle. All the blood that had drained from my face when I remembered my kiss with El came flooding back with a vengeance.

“Skinny dipping?”

“Yep,” Harry smirked. “Took your dress off and everything.”

“You even made it out to the hallway,” Niall added, through a mouthful of food. “But you couldn’t figure out how to get into the elevator, so we were able to catch you and bring you back.”

I was mortified. Really, how wasted was I? Obviously, it was enough to completely black out, but also to decide to strip in front of a group of people (which I’ve never done) and to be unable to get into an elevator (pathetic).

“I can honestly say, that I have never gotten that drunk before,” I mumbled, face in my hands.

“Ha, show her the pictures, El,” Harry snorted and my heart sank.

Shit. I forgot. Pictures.

Zayn was awake by this time and joined Harry, lying on the bed with his head hanging over the edge, eager to see the pictures as well, no doubt.

“I like the one where she’s naked in the hallway!”

I glared at him.

Grinning, Eleanor grabbed her camera and handed it to me. Sighing and preparing myself for the worst, I flipped through the pictures.

Frankly, it looked like a montage of the best Skins parties. There was a lot of alcohol, a lot of unflattering faces, a lot of laughter. Ultimately, though, it wasn’t too embarrassing. It looked like I really enjoyed myself, which was key. One slide was a video, which Eleanor insisted I watch.

Basically, whoever was holding the camera (it sounded like Zayn) was chasing after me as I ran out of the room, pulling my dress over my head and tearing off down the hallway. Eleanor, Harry and Niall, along with cameraman Zayn, went after me, all yelling (Eleanor: ‘RED ALERT!’) and laughing and pointing. Pathetically unable to hit the button for the elevator, I was caught. El laughed at me and held onto my arm so I couldn’t run off again. Niall pulled off his polo and tried to get me to put it on and cover myself up. Harry stood off to the side, taking pictures of a nearly-naked me with his iPhone, looking annoyed when Niall finally got the shirt on me.

Looking away from the camera and up at the singer, I glared. “You had better delete those Styles.”

“Not a chance, Tommo.”

Sighing and coming up with plans to steal his mobile, I went back to the camera, flipping through some more photos. “So, was there anything else embarrassing that I did?”

“Well, you created your Cave of Wonder over there,” Sandy said, nodding towards the fort I had created.

“Is that really what I called it?”

“Yep and you wouldn’t let anyone else in.”

“Only me,” Niall grinned, brushing some crumbs off of his bare chest.

“Yes,” Louis said, smiling for the first time that morning, although it really looked like he was fighting it. “I believe you screamed, ‘only Niall can come in my Cave of Wonder.’”

There was a long pause and we all looked over at Zayn, who was staring off into space, apparently not fully awake yet. We waited breathlessly, but nothing happened.

“Zayn,” Harry prodded, nudging him with his shoulder.

“Huh? What?”

Harry stared at him. “That’s what she said.”

Zayn looked confused for a moment. “What? Oh. Oh! Fuck!”

Louis laughed and for a moment, I felt like things were getting back to normal. Happy, I went back through some more pictures, finding one from the party as well. There were plenty of pictures from there as well, though Eleanor was really focusing on herself – a picture of us three girls, of her and Louis, of her and Bieber, of her and Louis, and so on.

“This is a nice camera, El,” I commented. “Is it new?”

“Oh,” she replied sheepishly, before breaking out into a big grin. “Happy birthday!”

“What?”

“It’s my present to you,” she winced slightly. “I’m sorry for opening it, but I forgot mine and I knew you would want pictures of last night and - ”

I laughed. “El, don’t worry, I love it.” I hugged her tightly and looked down at the camera, pleased. This just meant I could delete all those horrific pictures.

“Presents!” Harry cried happily, jumping off the bed and going for his bag. All the others started rummaging about as well.

“Guys, you really didn’t need to get me anything,” I protested, though only weakly. I feel like it is expected of you to say things like that, but really, everyone loves presents and I was no exception.

“I really don’t know what your tastes are,” Dani said, handing me a small box, “but I hope you like it.”

I felt somewhat awkward accepting a gift from Danielle – we weren’t really close friends and I wanted to shag her boyfriend, after all – but I did think it was incredibly sweet of her to get me something. Opening it up, I smiled at the small, silver, music note necklace.

“Thank you, it’s lovely,” I smiled at her and she looked very pleased.

“Me next,” Liam said, coming back from the other room and plopping down a larger box. The Beatles Anthology. I already had it, but it was a nice gesture and I was chuffed that Liam knew about my obsession with the Fab Four.

Sandy, Dan, Josh, and Lou all chipped in and got me a £200 gift card to Milkshake City, which was, quite possibly, the best and worst present ever. Best because Milkshake City is awesome and worst because I had already gained weight being on tour, the last thing I needed was an unlimited supply of milkshakes. And who knew they had £200 gift cards? Zayn got me a fantastic Chelsea track jacket, which I loved.

I looked over expectantly at Niall, who was looking a little sheepish, as he sat on the floor in nothing but his boxers, running a hand nervously through his blonde hair.

“Erm, I don’t have my gift for you yet,” he admitted, blushing slightly.

“Oh, that’s okay, Nialler,” I replied. “We’re going to Disney, after all.” I’m not going to lie, I was a bit put out. I mean, Niall was one of my best mates. But, he had arranged the whole Disney thing, so I really couldn’t complain.

Niall smiled, but Eleanor punched him hard on the shoulder. I was going to question her action, but suddenly an envelope was shoved in my face.

“From me,” Harry gave me a wide, cheesy grin.

“Oh, a card, Haz?” I asked, laughing. “How thoughtful of you.”

The card itself was really bland and didn’t even have a corny pun or anything to it – it was just a picture of a birthday cake and a creepily happy clown on it. I was, quite honestly, disappointed with the lack of effort on Harry’s part, until two little slips of paper fell out onto the floor. Glancing at him, I picked them up.

“Harry,” I said, staring at them. “You didn’t.” Harry merely grinned. “You got me tickets to see Train in concert?” I asked, unwilling to believe it. Train was one of my favorite bands, like, ever. “How did you know I even liked them?” I asked, trying to figure out when I would have ever discussed this with Harry. Usually we only talked about football or One Direction or stupid, random things. Nothing of substance.

“Erm...”

“Went through your iPod,” Niall offered, as Harry shifted nervously and Eleanor glared. “Saw your most played songs. Not hard to figure out.”

Honestly, I was surprised at Harry’s ingenuity, and not at all annoyed he had gone through my things. I was too thrilled to be upset or concerned about El’s odd behavior.

“Thank you, Harry,” I said, pulling him into a hug. Best day ever.

“What about you, Louis?” Niall asked my brother, ignoring Eleanor’s whispers to him. “What do you have for JJ?”

Louis looked up from his breakfast, seemingly uninterested. “I thought letting her be here was present enough.”

There was an awkward pause and I pulled away from Harry, biting my lip. I was annoyed at Louis, sure, but I also didn’t want to continue making him angry, which was, apparently, unavoidable.

“Right,” I bit out, my throat dry. “You’re completely right. “Thank you Louis, I’m really glad to be here.”

“Whatever,” he muttered, before standing up and heading for the door.

“Aren’t you going to come with us today?” Niall asked, looking between the two of us nervously.

“Feeling a bit sick, actually,” my brother replied, not turning around, and heading out of the room. Eleanor gave me a sympathetic look and darted out after him. With the door slamming shut behind them, the room was silent.

Liam, eventually, cleared his throat. “Right, well, should we all shower and get ready to go?”

Rubbing my face with my hands I headed back into my room, trying to regain the excitement that I had felt earlier. Why was Louis being such a twat?

**

Despite Louis and Eleanor not joining us (El had made the wise decision to stay behind and spend time with her boyfriend in hopes of getting to the bottom of his attitude) to Disney, I had an absolute blast. Granted, the first hour we were there, we all went to the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House and took a nap and avoided all rides whatsoever since our hangovers were so bad. Luckily, it was a cloudy day in Anaheim and fairly cool, as well, so the heat wasn’t an issue. But, eventually we were sober enough to go on some of the slower rides without feeling like we had to vomit.

All through the day, the boys had been stopped by fans for pictures and autographs, which they had obliged. They had thought, naively, that in their hats and large sunglasses they would pass by unnoticed. I, too, had been seen, but most of the pictures of me were not taken with permission. Whenever I saw someone taking a picture of me, I pulled a face. Danielle said I was crazy and maybe I was, but I was beyond caring at that point.

By 4:00pm, we were getting pretty tired, but had truly sobered up and were ready to venture over to the rollercoasters. Zayn and Danielle did not like roller coasters, so they, along with the Perfect Boyfriend Liam, hung back and went to scout out a place for dinner, while Niall, Harry and I headed off to Splash Mountain. Niall was particularly excited about it, bouncing around like a little kid as we navigated our way through the park.

“I’m so excited and I just can’t fight it,” he sang in falsetto, grabbing my hands and pulling me along with him.

I danced around with him, laughing at his excitement, until I felt a stab of pain in my knee. Crying out, I pulled away, hopping on one foot and willing the pain to dissipate. It did after a moment, but as soon as I put weight down on my foot, it returned.

“Fuck,” I hissed, limping over to a bench, as the boys followed in concern. I sat down and rubbed my knee, grimacing.

“Did you re-tear it?” Niall asked, looking incredibly guilty.

“No,” I replied. “I know what that feels like. I think I’ve just been walking on it too much. And those heels last night didn’t help.”

“We could head back to the hotel,” the Irishman offered.

“But we haven’t gone on the good rides yet, though,” Harry protested, motioning towards the towering coasters.

Niall glared at him, but I shook my head. “Harry’s right. I don’t want to miss any rides. Who knows the next time we’ll be here.”

“We can get you a wheelchair,” Niall suggested and we all glanced over at an elderly woman being pushed by her son. It was a plausible idea and I entertained it for a brief moment, until I realized that it would probably be Harry who would be pushing me and I did not trust him enough to give him control over me like that.

“Um, no.” Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to stand up and pushed on.

I was limping pretty obviously and each time I put weight on my leg the pain increased measurably. I locked my jaw though and carried on, fully aware of Harry and Niall hovering closely behind in case I collapsed at any moment. I started slowing as we approached the ride, having to stop a few hundred yards from it, after dodging some little kids running around us.

"Okay, hop on," Harry ordered, coming up and squatting in front of me.

"Excuse me?"

"Get on," he said again, looking at me over his shoulder. "You want to go on the rides, but you can't be walking everywhere."

"You can't carry me," I replied, looking at him like he was crazy.

"It's either this or we get you a wheelchair," he threatened and Niall nodded.

I bit my lip. He had me there; I certainly did not want a wheelchair. And this way, if he tried anything (like throwing me in a fountain or something), I could get him back with a good smack to the head. So, with a defeated sigh, I climbed onto his back.

"I'm not too heavy for you?" I asked, as Harry stood up, arms looped under my legs.

"Not at all, love," he replied, giving the back of my calf a cheeky pinch. "Light as a feather."

Not 100% satisfied, but knowing had I few other options, I wrapped my arms around his neck and sat up so as to look over his mop of curly hair.

Niall smiled up at me as we continued the short trek to the end of the line.

"Plop your bum there," Harry said, lifting me up onto a railing once we reached it.

It was a pretty narrow metal bar, so Harry stood between my legs to keep my balanced.

“Where do you think I should sit in the car?” Niall asked, excitedly as we watched the log raft drop down the side of the mountain and send water flying over its occupants. “In the front or in the back?”

“Front,” Harry and I both replied.

“Why, though?”

“You don’t as wet there,” I answered, trying to ignore the fact that Harry’s thumb was gently tracing the inside of my ankle, no doubt intent on making me uncomfortable. I rested my arms on his shoulders, trying to keep my balance, while Niall pondered this answer.

“But then what’s the point of going on it if you don’t want to get wet?”

Harry leaned his head back to look up at me. We grinned at each other before answering.

“Chaffing.”

There was a flash of light, suddenly, and I blinked, looking up. Wonderful. More Directioners with a camera.

“Oh my God, you’re, like, totally One Direction!”

“Not totally, only two-fifths,” Niall replied, though he smiled at the girl, who looked to be about 14 years old, and her two friends.

“Can we get pictures with you?” she pleaded, apparently the only one of the three who could communicate with words.

“Of course, love,” Harry drawled, making all three of them blush and giggle. Turning, he helped me down from the railing, before going over and standing with the girls and Niall.

Without a word, the first girl shoved her camera out to me, expectantly. I stared at it, blinking.

“Can I help you?”

“Take the picture,” she replied, smarmily. “Please.”

I bit back my response after a sharp look from Harry and took the girls’ camera, grudgingly snapping two pictures of them.

“Thank you so much,” they crooned to the boys, who smiled nicely and came back over to stand with me. The girls, predictably, decided that they too wanted to go on Splash Mountain, and so stood in line behind us, trying to engage the boys in conversation. Niall, who could have a meaningful conversation with a cabbage, was happy to humor them, but Harry was less interested.

“Let’s get you back on the railing,” he said, as the lined moved on. He stepped up close to me and put his hands on my waist. I held onto his shoulders as he lifted me up, our noses bumping into each other along the way. “Careful, there,” he teased. “Trying to sneak a kiss, I think.”

“You wish, Styles,” I rolled my eyes, as his hands rested on my knees.

“This looks pretty nasty,” he commented, hand lightly brushing over my knee. I shrugged.

“I kind of like it. I mean, not that it caused me to stop playing, but I think it makes me look pretty bad ass.”

Harry laughed. “Yes, that it does.”

There was another flash, as the girls snapped a picture of Niall making a weird face. I sighed. This was going to be a long wait for the ride.

**

Hours later, we waddled back into the hotel, exhausted but happy. Well, we all walked, but Niall waddled. He hadn’t listened to Harry’s and my advice and had taken the back seat on Splash Mountain and was now suffering from some uncomfortable rubbing around his pants. We all poked fun at him and had a good time in the end.

Zayn, Danielle and Niall all headed back to their rooms, while Liam, Harry and I got out of the elevator a floor early to meet up with Paul and get the schedule for tomorrow – I went because it was, technically, my job, Harry went because he was still carrying me, and Liam went because he is Captain Sensible and likes to know where they need to be and when.

After receiving our instructions from Paul (as well as a stern talking-to for how we left Harry and my rooms), we headed up to bed. Harry continued to make flirtatious comments about me ‘riding’ him and pinching the back of my legs, but I merely replied with a flick to the ear, as Liam laughed at the two of us, before heading to bed himself. Harry continued down the hallway with me on his back, our rough housing cut short as we noticed Zayn and Louis talking in hushed voices down the hallway. Harry said hello to them both, causing them to look up. I was set down and gave a small smile to my brother, but Louis frowned and walked off, while Zayn looked rather put on the spot. Shrugging awkwardly, Harry said goodnight and disappeared into his own room, leaving me and Zayn standing in the hallway.

Maybe it was because I was so fucking tired, or maybe because it was my birthday and I should get whatever I want on my birthday, but I was sick of this. Grabbing Zayn by the collar, I pushed him into my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

“Spill, Malik,” I ordered, crossing my arms and glaring.

“Erm, spill about what?”

“Now.”

Zayn sighed and sat down on the end of my bed (now completely made up – those poor maids...). He looked up at me with those chocolate brown eyes and I felt bad for yelling at him.

“What’s going on with Louis?” I asked, more gently. “I don’t understand what I did to make him so pissed at me.”

“You didn’t do anything,” he responded. “Louis is just being...paranoid, I guess.”

“About what?”

He sighed again. “He thinks you fancy Harry and that that is the only reason you asked to come along.”

I blinked. “Are you serious? He knows I don’t fancy Harry. And he knows why I wanted to come along.”

“I’m just the messenger,” Zayn defended, shrugging. “He’s said that you’ve changed, that you, like I said, fancy Harry and are being really flirtatious and stuff. He seems to think that you doing all of this to get attention. Want to have your own fame, or something.”

Utterly confused, I sat down next to Zayn, trying to wrap my head around this. “Has he said how I’ve changed?”

“I don’t know, JJ, we’ve haven’t really talked about it all that much.”

“What did he want to know just now?”

Zayn cringed slightly. “He wanted to know if anything was going on between the two of you when we were gone today.”

I frowned. “So now he has you spying on me?”

“Honestly, JJ, I didn’t say anything. Not that there was anything to say, anyways.”

“You don’t think I fancy Harry, do you?”

At this, Zayn shrugged and looked away. “I don’t know,” he replied honestly. “Not that I would care if you did. And not that I could blame you, if you did. Haz is quite the charmer.” He gave me a smile. “Do you fancy him?”

“No,” I replied firmly. “Harry and I are friends and yes, we flirt...well, he flirts and I just let it happen...but that’s who he is. He flirts with everyone. But, nothing is happening there. And why is he just being weird now? I’m the one who was outed as a virgin for the whole world to hear.”

He seemed satisfied with my answer, nodding slightly. Then, he grinned a bit. “Are you really a virgin?”

“Stay on topic, Zayn.”

“Well, I guess, you missed the end of that interview, you know? After you left, Harry was saying some things and fans were asking some questions about you. I don’t know, it really did sound like you might be together. From an outside perspective at least.”

“But we’re not,” I insisted. “And Louis has an inside perspective, you all do. We all live together, wouldn’t you notice something like that?”

Zayn shrugged again. “I really think you just need to talk to Louis. I don’t know anything else.”

“Alright,” I groaned, frustrated. “Thanks for your help, Zayn. And thanks for the fun day.”

“Any time, JJ,” he smiled again, kissing my on the forehead. “Get some sleep, we have an early flight tomorrow.”

Zayn left and I lay on my bed, trying to figure what the hell Louis was on about. He thought I fancied Harry? And that I was looking for all the attention I was getting? And that was why I wanted to come on tour with them? Ridiculous.

Sighing, I closed my eyes. I supposed I was just going to have to talk to Louis about it. For a moment, I thought of avoiding Harry all together, until this whole thing blew over, but I knew that wasn’t fair. Harry and I were friends and Louis’s delusions weren’t going to affect that.

I decided then that I was going to take a bath, soak my knee, go to bed and just start over the next day. My birthday was fantastic, despite my brother’s annoying attitude, and I wasn’t going to let this ruin it. I could deal with it tomorrow.

I headed to the bathroom, very excited for a bubble bath, when I stopped short. Spinning (carefully), I went to the door, banging on it.

Harry opened it, looking confused. He was dressing in nothing but gym shorts, seemingly ready to crawl into bed. I pushed past him and into his bathroom. Empty.

Pointing at the tub, I looked at him. “Where’s Colin?”

“Who?” he asked, coming in behind me, bewildered.

“Colin! The naked bloke in your bath tub!”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Sighing, I went back out into the room, Harry following me. “This morning. There was a naked bloke in your bathroom and you told me his name was Colin.”

Harry pondered. “I don’t think I know any one named Colin.”

“Really?”

“Um...yeah. I’m pretty sure I don’t know any Colins.”

“Then who was the bloke in the bath tub?”

“Are you on drugs?”

“What? No! There was...oh, sod it.” Harry chuckled at my frustration. “Sorry, I’ll just let you get to bed.”

Utterly annoyed, I made to go back to my room, but Harry caught my arm. “Wait, JJ, erm...I heard a bit of your conversation with Zayn.”

I blushed. “You did?”

“Yeah, well, you were kind of shouting a bit.”

“Piss,” I swore, looking away from him and biting my lip.

“I must say,” he continued, a mischievous lilt to his voice. “That I don’t really believe you. It is impossible to resist me, after all.” He struck a ridiculous pose, causing me to laugh and take in his incredibly toned physique and his obnoxiously long torso.

“I don’t fancy you,” I replied, trying to keep my voice even.

“Lies.”

“I don’t!”

Suddenly, Harry leapt at me, throwing me onto his bed and attacking my sides with his fingers. I hate being tickled.

“STOP!” I cried, snorting attractively in laughter. “I DON’T FANCY YOU! I DON’T FANCY YOU!”

“Tell the truth, JJ,” Harry ordered, straddling me and holding me against the bed. “You must fancy one of us, it’s physically impossible not to. If you could snog any member of One Direction, who would it be?” He asked, his smile merciless.

“That I am not answering,” I smirked, though I knew that I was turning red.

“Come on, JJ,” Harry pressed, no longer tickling, but staring down at me with a smile that said he knew he was going to get it out of me. “We know you can’t resist me, but what about Zayn? Would you snog Zayn?”

I shook my head. “Nope.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he laughed, going back to attacking my sides. “Come on, Tommo! Who’s it gonna be? Are you gonna snog little wee Niall?”

“No!” I cried in laughter, trying to get away from him.

“Right, so you’re snogging me, Zayn and Niall, you slag,” Harry laughed, before I smacked him upside the head with a pillow. “And what about the lovely Liam?”

I flopped back onto the bed, hesitating only the slightest second before covering my face with the pillow. If he couldn’t see the fact that I had turned beet red, maybe he wouldn’t know. But Harry wasn’t as dumb as he looked and he caught that hesitation.

“That’s it!” He cried triumphantly, and despite the pillow and my attempts to squeeze my eyes permanently shut, I could still picture the look of pure glee on his face. “You fancy Liam! Oh, this is bloody brilliant. Momma Bear and Daddy Direction. It’s just too perfect for words.”

I suddenly couldn’t breathe properly, partly because my face shoved into a pillow and partly because Harry had laid down on top of me. I could feel his fingers trailing along my sides, threateningly. I wiggled left and right, trying to get away, but he weighed about as much as an orca whale, which made escape nearly impossible.

“JJ, I know you’re in there...” he whispered, and I could hear him trying not to laugh. “How badly do you want to snog, Liam, eh? Do you love him, do you want to marry him? Come on, JJ!”

“Fine!” I yelled, shoving him. “Yes! I fancy Liam!”

Harry smiled winningly. “Yeah, I know. You told me last night in your drunken stupor.”

I gasped. “You. Little. Bitch.” Harry burst out laughing again, looking incredibly proud of himself. “Did I tell anyone else?” I asked, desperately.

“Fear not, JJ,” he grinned. “Your secret is safe with me.”

This did not make me feel any better, but I really didn’t have a choice did I?

“But,” Harry continued, his laughter dying. “You do have to help me with a bit of a situation.”

“The situation wouldn’t happen to be in your pants would it?” I asked sardonically, sitting up.

“No. Well, maybe a little. Okay. Ultimately, yes, the situation is in my pants. But that isn’t the situation you’ll be solving. Well, at least not right away. You’ll be solving the situation that will hopefully fix the bigger situation.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “...Which is the situation in my pants.”

“Are we speaking figuratively or literally at the moment?” I asked, hesitantly taking a glance down at his crotch.

“Erm…” Harry looked confused. “Both?”

I rolled my eyes, annoyed with his rambling and knowing that whatever story he was about to delve into was going to be a long one filled with numerous ‘erms’ and ‘ughs’, not to mention it would take three times longer than it should because of his lethargic voice.

“Haz, I’m exhausted. Louis is being a prat. You’re being a prat. We have a hellishly early flight in the morning, there is a naked Colin running around the hotel somewhere and my knee hurts. Please don’t draw this out as painfully as possible, just get to the point. Now, preferably.”

Harry thought for a moment and then shrugged.

“Alright.”

And then he kissed me.