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Hey Jude I & II

Blind



I feel cold. This sudden realization doesn’t spark any motivation to search for the covers. In fact my body’s so tired, I can’t move at all. My eyelids are cemented together; this must be the deepest level of sleep that I’m aware of. Or is it possible that Harry outdid himself by draining my every cell of its energy and form of recovery? As impressed as I am over this idea, I still can’t get over the increasing drop of temperature in this room.

There’s murmurs bouncing off the walls. If I should open my eyes to find Anne and Gemma staring down at us, I wouldn’t know where to hide my face. Wishing I could shake off this drowsiness and jump to my feet, alas, my eyes begin to open. It’s too bright and I instantly regret sleeping facing the window. After a few seconds of adjustment, I notice the brightness isn’t coming from a window but an overhead light. I close my eyes to drown myself in darkness.

Let’s try this again,

I moan once I spot the beaming ceiling fixture and quickly begin to look around, except it takes a few seconds for my eyes to roll to and fro. Surrounded by tan curtains, I finally see a window to my left. To my dismay the glass is foggy, preventing me from admiring the sky. My brain can’t piece anything together and my body fails to respond. This has to be another bizarre dream, but why can I taste hospital soap in my mouth?

I moan again and hear the commotion immediately after. From the two emerging shadows behind the curtains, followed by a few more faces; the scent of a familiar perfume settles me. I recognize my parents despite their blurry features . . . but where’s Harry?

Fuzzy silhouettes hang over me along with chaotic conversation. I strain my eyes to try and read their lips or make sense of any syllables but it’s impossible for now. My arm is being tugged mercilessly and it is then that I count the numerous tubes attached to it. Aside from the comforting touch of my mother’s hand on my shoulder, other hands are cold and intrusive, my body rejects their rough affection.

I feel no pain just pure numbness. My eyes burn from the overstimulation, forcing me to shut them and focus on the noise instead. I hear my dad chanting “She’s going to be alright, she’s going to be alright!” My mother’s whimpers of joy accompany his positive words while I’m thankful to finally understand what’s being said around me. She pleads for me to look at her but I manage a weak smile instead. I’m still so tired.

I’m ready to wake up now.




I open my eyes unaware that I had fallen back asleep. My chest tightens up when I see that I’m in the same room, although this time everyone is gone except for my parents. They’re asleep on the bench beside my bed. When did they fly here? Am I still in Englan-Harry? Where’s . . . ?

“Hi sweetheart,” my mom reaches for my hand. “How are you feeling?”

I groan thinking I’m actually forming words but I can only utter a name. “Har-ry?”

“What darling?”

“Har-ry? Whe-where?”

“Harry?” she questions, shrugging her shoulders at dad.


“Who’s Harry, honey?” dad asks while approaching the bed.

“Har-ry. . .Harry? Whe-where is he?” I yearn for an answer but all they do is shake their heads in confusion. "Wha hap-pened?” I try and control my slurring stutter.

“Should we tell her, Ron?”

“The doctor said to ask if she remembers anything first.”

Mom turns to me and squeezes my hand, “Sweetheart, what’s the last thing you can remember?”

“Fa-falling asleep . . . with Harry.”

“Who’s Harry?” dad repeats.

“Is that all you remember, Jude?”

“Yes. We, we were . . . in his room . . . at his-his mom’s house.” I try and sit up but it’s useless. “When did you . . . arrive?”

“Baby, we're home in Phoenix.”

“Wha?” I chuckle with little strength. “That-that’s not possible . . . where’s Harry?”

“Honey, we’re in a hospital room, we wouldn’t be making jokes at a time like this,” dad rubs his forehead. “I don’t know who this Harry guy is but he’s not here.”

“Why . . . why am I here?”

“Jude, you never made it to the airport . . . an SUV crashed into your cab . . .” dad’s voice begins to crack.

The more he explained the more I almost wished I had died. Emptiness is all I feel. How could my mind conjure such a romantic tale of such explicit details only to awaken to absolutely nothing? Could my subconscious have carried on my obsession with Harry and One Direction into this fantasy as a means of coping through this coma? The reality of never having shared an intimate moment with Harry is more devastating than the accident itself.

Why is this room so damn cold?




Next thing I know, all my senses have neutralized and I’m climbing slowly out of the wheel chair and into my dad’s car. Sitting in the passenger seat, I stare out the window hoping to see some sort of glitch but the streets are exactly what I know to be home. It pains me even more to pull up to the drive way of my house, recalling the time Harry showed up with a bouquet of peach roses. Oh but wait, that was only in my dream.

It’s only the beginning, yet the constant questioning of how I’m doing is annoying me more than I can stand. I want to be alone to have time to process all of this. After my dad helps me up the stairs I kindly announce that I will be taking a nap now. Turning around I’m in shock by what I happen to find. Posters everywhere. There’s Harry, Niall, Liam . . . Zayn and Louis. Not to mention the ones with them all together.

I can barely see my light blue wall beneath the plastered faces, and all of a sudden the notion of all these eyes on me makes me feel uneasy. Trying to ignore it all I glance outside my window, but the memories in this room with Harry make it too painful. Leaning my head against the glass I finally let go. Streams gush from my eyes as my chest sinks and I know this is supposed to make me feel better . . . eventually. Though I doubt it will.

There’s a faint knock at the door, one that I recognize to be from my mom. She peeks her head in and waits for me to nod. Walking in with an envelope, she sets it on my computer desk and smiles sorrowfully.

“I know how much you wanted to go to London . . . and this won’t make up for it but we were praying that you would make it out okay and in time for it.”

“What is it?”

“You can open it later, I just wanted to give it to you right away . . . so you could have something to look forward to and distract yourself with.”

A flat smile is all I can offer as I hobble over to give her a gentle hug. She disappears behind the door leaving me to my surprise. I pull out two concert tickets from the envelope. It’s evident that I, like any diehard fan, would leap for joy at the sight of my very own One Direction stubs. Still, happiness is the least of my feelings, but more a realization that I had believed my very own false life . . . and wanted it back.

I need release. I slide into my desk’s chair and open my laptop, curious to see what my last blog post entails. March 20th, the day before my flight. I don’t even know where to begin with today’s. First thing is first as I glance at the date on the top right corner of my screen. Then the suffocation returns.

It’s September.

My head bangs against the keyboard. All I can think about is how much I miss Harry.






Notes

A/N: Chapter Playlist

"Blind" Lifehouse

"The Fault In Our Stars (MMXIV)" - Troye Sivan



Thoughts? :)

Comments

85............why am i commenting on dirty things!

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/15/16

48 Is really kinky......but im still readidng it

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/15/16

ok so chapter 35 tells me how to cup nuts...ok

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/14/16

woow not even half of the book and there already fucking!! chapter 6 and 5 are the reason i don't have a boyfriend :(

harrysbutthole harrysbutthole
6/14/16

Hey! Could you please answer me on Whattpad? I would be so honored to translate your amazing fanfiction into Russian.

SonyaDr SonyaDr
5/3/16