"Fuckkkk." I groan as the light seeping through the curtains in my bedroom wakes me up. My head is pounding, and I can't decide whether it's from the excessive amount of alcohol I consume last night, or from seeing Harry.

Harry. I can't believe I saw him. I can't believe he's here, in California.

I finally stop the endless thoughts running through my mind and slowly get out of bed to take an Advil. I drag my ass downstairs and promise myself I will never drink that much again after every step I take down the stairs.

Just as I swallow the pain reliever, my phone starts tuning and I see Harry's name appear on the screen. Why is he calling?

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hey, will you let me in?" He says with a calm voice before I remember telling him I wanted to talk.

"Uh, yeah just a second." I hang up and run over to the bathroom.

I comb my fingers through my bed head and wipe the smeared mascara off of my eyelids. Great, I look like shit.

"Hi." I answer the door and Harry is standing tall in front of me, his hair pushed back with a bandana or something. I don't know what it is, but it's sexy.

"Hey."

"Sorry I look like crap, I kind of just woke up." I explain my poor appearance.

"It's fine, can I come in?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry." I apologize and walk inside with him following close behind.

I stop in the kitchen and he pulls out a stool to sit on.

"So..." I tap my fingers on the granite counter top.

"You were the one who wanted to talk." He reminds me with a straight face.

"I don't really know what to say." I admit and pick at the polish on my nails.

"Then why did you want me to come back today?"

"I don't know, if you can't remember, a was a little drunk last night." I laugh, but he doesn't think it's funny.

"I should probably go then."

"Are you and that one girl dating now?" I blurt out to keep him from leaving. I really don't want to know the answer to this question.

There's so much I want to ask him and tell him, but I don't know where to start. I didn't have time to prepare for this much needed conversation, but he's probably leaving for England soon, so I'll take what I can get.

"Who? The girl Liam told you about?"

I nod and wait for his next response.

"Jade? Hell no."

"So why'd you hook up with her?" I feel tears start to form in my eyes, but I don't want to cry in front of him. I'm trying to stay strong.

"I don't know, why does it matter?"

"How could you just kiss her?" I choke up, fuck, I sound pathetic.

"Are you serious Aubrey? You're mad at me because I kissed someone? You told me to move on! You broke up with me for fuck's sake! You don't get to be angry with me!" He raises his voice.

"I told you that because I thought I could handle it, but when Liam told me, I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest." I speak through my tears.

"Yeah well now you know how I feel every single day." He doesn't look at me, but I can tell he's hurt even though he sounds angry.

"Did it mean anything?" I grab a tissue and wipe my running nose.

"No, it did not. She kissed me, and no I didn't push her away, but I didn't enjoy it either. But that doesn't matter."

I stand there and try to think of what to say, I'm happy with what he just said, but I don't know what I should do. I want him, I need him, but I know I can't. My heart is telling me one thing, and my head is telling me another.

"I don't get it, you break up with me and tell me to move on, but you get angry when I actually attempt to?" He asks, and I know he's just as confused as I am.

"I thought that's what I wanted. I thought it was for the best, I didn't think I would feel like this."

"So did you want me to come here so you can make me feel worse, or can I go."

"No.. I just.. I don't know okay! I thought this was what was best for you and me, but it's obviously not. I can't stop thinking about you Harry, and when Liam told me... I couldn't handle it. I thought maybe if I told you to move on, and I saw you do it, I could too. But that obviously wasn't the case."

"So what are you trying to say?" He questions me and sits back down, thankfully he's not leaving.

"I'm trying to say that I don't want you to see other people, but I can't just force you to stay single forever!"

"So why don't we get back together." He suggests.

"You know why I broke up with you Harry. I'm scared it's going to be too hard and what if we were still dating and you hooked up with Jade? I'd be hurting a lot worse than I am right now. I'm trying to prevent something like that from happening." I cry into my hands.

"Aubs, I wouldn't have let her kiss me if we were still together. You're the only girl I want. No matter how frustrating and stubborn you are, I can't stop thinking about you, I can't move on. I only kissed her because I thought you'd be moving on, and I didn't want to be pathetic and single just waiting for you." I look up and see him sitting on the stool next to me, his eyes full of sincerity.

"I couldn't move on." I choke out.

"Yeah, but I'm sure you had guys all over you."

"I didn't hook up with anyone if that's what your implying. I couldn't, Harry."

"Well neither can I, so why can't we just go back to how it was before? I know our feelings for each other aren't going away. Please, this is what's best for us." I feel his hand take mine and my heart flutters.

I know he's right. Everything he's saying is what I needed to hear, but I don't understand how he doesn't hate me right now, after all of this shit I've put him through.

I rest my forehead on the counter and try to think about what to listen to; my heart or my head.

"Aubs, stop overthinking it." He answers my thoughts and I can feel his breath on my face before I look up at him. His eyes are full of want.

"How do you not hate me?"

"I could never hate you." He simply states.

"Even after I broke your heart? I put you through so much, Harry." I don't understand, how could he still want me?

"You did what you did for the right reasons. Even if I didn't want the same, it was the right thing to do at the time. Now we know it's not the right thing."

"I'm so sorry." I sob and he pulls me to his chest, one of his long arms wrapped around my back and the the other smoothing my hair.

"I know. I love you, Aubrey." I lean out of his embrace and look at him.

Those words make my stomach turn and my heart takes over. This is what I want and need, Harry. No matter how hard it will be, I need him.

"I love you, Harry." I reciprocate and he lets out a deep breath and closes his eyes.

He smiles and takes my face in his large hands, closing the gap in between us and pressing his lips against mine. I've missed the way his soft lips dance with mine so much. The kiss is slow and passionate, full of want, need, happiness, desperation.

"I love you so much." I moan as he nibbles at the skin of my neck and kisses along my jaw.

"Be my girlfriend again." He whispers and tucks my hair behind my ear.

I quickly nod and run my hand through his hair, pulling his head forward to kiss me again. I need his touch that's been absent for too long.

As I start kissing him on his neck, he picks me up abruptly and carries me bridal style towards the stairs. I know where this is going, and I can't wait.

---

"I've missed this. I've missed us." Harry say quietly as we lay on my bed in a post-coital bliss.

"Mmm." I hum against his chest as I trace the lines on his bare stomach.

"When do you go back?"

"Next week." I sigh. I know this perfect moment can't last forever, but I wish it could. "What about you? When do you go back?"

"Well I was planning on getting out of here by tomorrow..."

I snap out of my bliss and look up at him.

"But my classes don't start for another couple of weeks, so I think I'll stay now that I have my girl back." He smiles and I can't help but grin from ear to ear.

"And we can spend every minute together until you go back..." He whispers and runs the tips of his fingers down my naked back, causing a shiver to run through my body. "And make up for all of the lost time." I can't see his face, but I know he's got a smirk plastered on it.

"Harry! Is that all you want me for?" I tease.

"No Aubrey, you know that." He laughs. "I think it was your flawless personality that got me hooked... Or this." I can practically hear the grin on his face just before he squeezes my backside.

"Harry!" I squeal and we both laugh. It feels so good to laugh again, and to be with him.

"Do you really think we can do this?" I ask, making the conversation much more serious.

"Yes, I know we can." He almost sounds harsh, but I don't blame him.

"I'm sorry, I'm just..."

"I'm scared too." He interrupts me and I'm a little taken back at his admission.

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you more."

"Even after-" I try to make sense of this.

"Yes. And I never stopped. No matter how frustrating and stubborn you can be, I have never stopped loving you. I never will."

My heart melts and I drop my head back down to his chest. This is my favorite place to be, in his arms, cuddled into his side.

Notes

Okay sorry i haven't posted until now, but I had the chapter all finished, then i accidentally deleted it.... Lol.

Let me know what you think though! And please vote/subscribe! xx