Falling for Harry Styles

“Good afternoon Natalie. I trust your week has been well?”
I turned to greet him over my shoulder as he entered and made his way to his chair. “Hey Brazie; yea it’s been good. Harry’s sister popped in for a visit and is staying with us until she goes back home. And my friends made it apparent that they wanted me to cook for them again, albeit they acted weird when they did ask,” I shrugged and rolled my eyes nonchalantly.
“How do you mean weird?” he prompted.
“I don’t know, like they were afraid to or something. They seemed tense and awkward.”
“Have you cooked for them before?” I nodded in response. “What was the occasion?”
“Jen was visiting. That’s when they all met her, it was Harry’s idea.”
He hummed and nodded his head. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe they think you wouldn’t want to host another big dinner, since the only memories of one contain your sister?”
“Oh, no it didn’t. Harry did say that they didn’t want to overwhelm me; that makes more sense now.”
“Precisely,” his smile towards me was pleased.
I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, “I feel bad that I yelled at Harry.”
“Why did you yell at Harry?”
“I felt like everyone was babying me and I couldn’t stand it.”
“What did Harry do?”
“He was being a little over protective because my ex-boyfriend came by the house. Harry hates him and I answered the door alone. So when Harry came down and saw him he went all protector mode.”
“Why does Harry hate him?”
My eyes grew slightly as I swallowed hard. I hadn’t talked to anyone about this outside of the guys. My parents didn’t even know; I never talked about it in detail with anyone besides Harry. “He used to beat me.” I heard him gasp as his eyes widened. “He didn’t try to do anything. He was just returning a ring he found as he was packing stuff to move.”
“Oh my goodness,” he replied shaking his head. “Wow. You are a very strong young woman.” I nodded a thanks and we were silent a moment as his eyes scanned over the notepad in his lap. “I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to be as honest as you can with me.” I nodded in response.“Why do you think you turned to alcohol after Jen died?”
I inhaled deeply and let it out slowly as I thought. “It was the only thing I found that numbed the incessant pain in my chest.” I pursed my lips and hesitated a moment before I continued. “I unintentionally lied to you during our first meeting. I had said the first time I got drunk was the night my sister had died, it wasn’t. It was the first time in a long time though, and the very first time was for good reasons.”
“And what are those?”
“I was dating Chad at the time.” He nodded as if he understood. He didn’t even know the half of it. “Chad and Harry hated each other for different reasons. Harry hated Chad because he treated me wrong. And Chad hated Harry because he was intimidated and threatened by him. So Chad never liked me to see Harry, but he was my best friend so I wasn’t having not being able to see him; but I didn’t want Chad to know. So, I lied one night and said I was going to dinner with my mum when I was actually meeting Harry. I hated all the secrecy and sneaking around, so I drank. Harry ordered a bottle of champagne and I think I drank like half of it by myself. I stumbled back into Chad’s saying that it went great and ‘things didn’t skip a beat with Harry.’ We yelled; I said something that set him off and he hit me, closed fist and hard. He lunged at me and I ran; we wound up in the lounge, him on top of me trying to strangle me. I hit him in the head with a vase and knocked him unconscious. I went back to Harry’s after and never spoke about the specifics of that night with anyone… until now.” My eyes, previously trained on something other than his face, returned to look into his eyes as I finished.
“Wow,” he looked shocked. “Why didn’t you ever talk about it; did you blame yourself for what he did to you?”
I bit my lip before I replied, “I did at first. After he tried to choke the life from me I realized the problem was never me. It was always his insecurities and issues that made him abuse me.”
“It’s so good that you realize that,” his smile was sincere and sympathetic. “So, it seems that alcohol is your method of choice to cope with emotionally negative situations…” he trailed off like a question though it felt more like a statement.
“Well it’s the only one that works to stunt the negative feelings.”
“Have you ever tried anything else?” I shook my head in response. “Then that is what we must do. We have to find something else that works to stop the negative feelings other than drinking. In one of our earlier sessions I said that emotional hurt manifests in different ways, and I listed a few different negative emotions like anger, sadness, jealousy, and betrayal. Over the course of the next week I need you to try an activity if ever you feel one of those negative emotions. You could try running; the physical exertion should help take your mind off of it. Maybe try reading; find a book that captivates you and that you can get lost in to help rid your mind of the negative thoughts. Or… you can try something with Harry. I know he helped a bit when this happened…”
I smirked at him, “Brazie are you suggesting-”
“Just--” he cut me off—“spend time with him.” He smiled to match mine, “Whatever you do in that time is completely up to you.”
I chuckled as the timer went off. “Okay Brazie will do. I’ll see you next week.”
“Goodbye Natalie.”

Notes