“Mar, I’m going out.” I tell my best friend, walking hurriedly to the door and grabbing my keys off of the peg. No; not the peg, my peg. I’m almost through the door when Marie’s voice stops me.
“Julianna, where are you going?” Er, well, I have to lie. I turn around and smile sweetly at Marie, using my acting skills in my white lie.
“Out, darling, I’ll be back soon.”
“Julianna, I’m not kidding; where are you going?” She leans against the kitchen arch, and appears stationary.
“I’m going to pick up some food, love.” Before she can protest, I’m out the door and in my car, igniting the engine. I love it here in Europe because you can call people loves- it’s pretty awesome. Another part of me, the part that’s not psyched about using the term ‘love,’ is saddened because I lied to Marie. My best friend since I moved here to go to college eight years ago, and I just lie while on my way to destruct myself?
I should be ashamed, right? But as my car pulls into Adam’s driveway, I don’t feel any shame in what I’m doing. I pull my keys out of my car roughly, and the engine quickly dies. For a few minutes I just sit there, in my comfortable seat, looking at the door.
Should I go in? What would happen if I go in?
My door slowly opens and I hop out, shutting it firmly behind me. I know Adam pretty well, so I know that by now it’ll be evident to him that I’m gone; but he wouldn’t sit tight about it. Either he would go on a long walk, break something, or go fuck that slut, Emilie. I open the door, timidly stepping inside, peering around the corner before I turn. The lights are off in the living room and it’s pitch black, but I can hear soft noises coming from Adam’s room.
Moans.
Yells.
I hold my head up high; Adam and I are over, therefore he’s not cheating. He doesn’t love Emilie, anyway.
“Emilie, I love you, baby…” Color rushes to my cheeks as though it’s three hundred degrees outside. This is saying something for me; my skin isn’t light, it’s tan, and I never blush.
I had never blushed. When we… you know… he never ever told me he loved me. Mostly because he usually forced me, and I’ve only given myself to him once; Emilie probably needs to convince him to get with her.
“I love you too, honey…” What the hell? Who says “honey” to their boyfriend or fuck buddy? That’s a pet name for a child or something! I shake my head, but then I hear loud, clashing noises. My blush deepens as I realize it’s the bed hitting the wall.
But my blush deepens even more- is that’s even possible- when I realize I haven’t moved since I heard them. Hesitantly, I pick my feet, which feel like boulders, off the floor and stumble over to my room. Yes, Adam and I have separate rooms. Otherwise how else would I be able to escape from him? Once inside, I take a deep breath, and smile lovingly at my bookshelf, the only thing I would miss from this house. My collection has variety, from fiction, non-fiction, historical fiction, to horror, and I’m quite proud of it. I pull open my drawer for my bags, and wince when it closes. I look quietly from the bag in my hand to my bookshelf.
Not even a quarter of my books would fit in here, and that’s if I took no clothes, makeup, or money with me. So, I’m sorry books, but I’ll have to use the ones at Mar’s house. A tear escapes my eye and I mentally slap myself. What the hell am I really getting teary over books? It’s not like it’s my child or something! God, am I PMSing? Erg… I wonder how Mar can put up with me. Shaking my head, I lit around the room, stuffing various things in my bag. The contents of my piggy bank, my wallet, some shirts, pants, two dresses that I had inherited from my mother, and three books I haven’t finished. Looking at my bookcase, I quickly stuff in some of my favorites: the first and last Harry Potter books, the first book in the series “Chronicles of the Icemark,” my friend’s novel “Sight,” and a book on how to improve your writing. Everything else, sadly, I would have to re-buy on my kindle. Even though I love that device with all my heart, it’s just not the same as reading an actually, physically book, one that you can smell and flip the pages of and throw across the room without breaking the screen of.
Don’t ask.
“I’m hungry, Adam.” Emilie says. I shudder, realizing that I’ve been here too long. They’re going to pass my room on the way to the kitchen! I search frantically around the room for an exit; if I don’t get out of here soon, Adam might hurt me, again. Mar will certainly kill me, and what would I do to myself? I sigh, but then my eye catches sight of something.
My window.
Julianna, you’re one crazy person…
I pop open the window, shivering a bit as the cold wind pushes through it. I fling my leg out, placing it firmly on the grass beneath my window. I grab my bag from inside, and throw it on the ground three feet away from myself. A crazy smile stretches across my face as I jump like an acrobat, and I have a plan for revenge.
Picking up my rucksack from the ground, I walk around to the front of the house.
By the kitchen. As I think the word ‘kitchen,’ pain washes over my body. But for once, it’s not physical pain.
##
&Flashback&
Adam, my ever-crazy boyfriend… what am I going to do with him? I’m turning twenty-three, and had just graduated from college, and he’d kicked me out of my own kitchen. Wait, I think to myself; our own kitchen. I let out a little giggle, rejoicing in the thought. Our own kitchen! We have something together!
“Adam, I love you.” I whisper, thinking he can’t hear me.
“I know, Julianna Sofia.” He replies, but my heart hurts as he does. Isn’t someone supposed to reply “I love you too?” I’m not sure, but “I know,” doesn’t sound plausible.
Does Adam love me?
##
I make sure that I’m standing in clear view of the open kitchen window. I take a deep breath, popping open my car door and putting in the keys. The engine roars and I throw my bag inside. I inhale deeply, getting ready to yell.
“HEY ADAM, I’LL BE BACK TONIGHT, OKAY?” I scream, and Adam glances out the window at me. A death glare crosses his face and he comes running. I dash into my car, pulling out of the driveway quickly.
“You BITCH!” He shouts, and I expect him to stop running. But he doesn’t, he keeps running full-on at my moving car.
And that’s when the lights go out.

Notes

:* Hope you enjoyed! ~Mallery