Summer Break

“Harryyyy!” I whined, pulling the clothes from my suitcase that he folded. “I really appreciate your help, but we are seriously both folding the clothes two different ways and it is honestly driving me crazy.” I grabbed a piece of clothing and rolled it up tightly, placing it in my suitcase.
We had come over after we relaxed for a bit when we finished out shower. No beach or anything, we just decided to hang out. Then I realized I needed to pack my bags before my flight tomorrow.
“Annabelle, who rolls their clothes?!”
“Harold, when you roll them, you can fit more in the suitcase!” I say, emphasizing the name Harold.
“Harold? You’ve never called me that before.” He said, sitting on the bed.
“That’s because you’ve never gotten on my nerves before.” I say calmly, my attention on my clothes.
“Oh? Damn, it’s kind of sexy when you call me that. Wish I would have known, would have gotten on your nerves more often.” He smirks, lying back on the bed with his arms behind his head.
I rolled my eyes and chucked the shirt in my hand at his chest. “Shut up… Can I have the shirt back?” I laughed.
A sly smile covered his face as he chuckled deeply, “Sure, here.”
He lets go of some of the fabric, and once I get ahold of it, he pulled on the shirt and I fell on his chest.
“Ow. Harry!” I laughed, sitting up and straddling him.
He stared into my eyes and smiled, moving his hand up to a strand of my hair. He pulled it a little and wrapped it around his fingers. He took his other hand around my waist and pulled me down to him. I pressed my lips against his then put my head on his shoulder. I giggled, and moved up to kiss him again. I ran my fingers through his hair and his hand went to my neck.
“Ew, guys get a room!” Ashley yelled, opening the door.
Harry groaned and I turned to look at her, “Dude, this is my room.” I tell her.
“Oh, yea.” she shrugged, strolling into the room anyway. “You aren’t even close to being done packing!”
“Yea, girl I know!” I said, getting off of Harry. “He doesn’t know how to pack properly.” I assed, pointing to Harry.
“Seriously, man! You don’t know you’re supposed to role things to get more to fit?” Jake chimes in walking through the door.
“Am I the only one who has never heard that before?” Harry throws his arms up.
“No, you just haven’t had Annabelle yelling at you while you pack.” Ashley says, rolling up clothes with me and putting them in the suitcase.
“Yea, and when you complain about them not fitting, she goes like this.” I stared at Jake with my mouth open. He walks over to the bed and pushes Ashley to the side. “Oh my God! Is this what you call packing?! Ugh, I’ll do it, I’ll do it!” He throws his hands in the air still imitating me. Jake picks a shirt up and rolls it up vigorously, but well if I might add, and places it in the suitcase. “There! Was now that so hard?” he rolls his eyes and pretends to flip his hair.
Harry is sat up on the bed laughing at him. I shook my head, “Alright, alright! I get it!” I pushed him away from my suitcase. “So I like to pack well, you know you guys roll instead of fold now anyways.” I say, packing the last couple of my things.
“That it true; I have more room for shoes now.” Ashley said.
“And my xbox fits better.”
“Oh my God, Jake.” I laughed.
The conversation from then on wasn’t interesting, but it was still nice chatting with them all for the last time. I loved when we were all together. Ashley had been helping me pack, trying to get me to leave her some of my things. She would say ‘there is no way this is going to fit in your dorm closet.’ or ‘what about the freshman 15?’ I finally smacked her arm and told her to shut up.
“Alright, we’re done!” I sighed, leaving the bags open on my bed so I can pack my shower stuff and other clothes later. I left some other stuff beside the bed to put in my carry-on as well.
“Well, I guess we’ll see you in the morning then huh?” Ashley says as we approach the door to the suite.
“Yes you will! I have to get my stuff, duh!” I smile.
Jake and Harry walked out in front of us, giving Ash the chance to talk to me, “What are you going to do tonight?” she whispers.
I look up at her then back down at the ground. “Ashley, don’t.” I shake my head.
She hugs me tightly. “I love you girl! Good luck, boo.”
“Thanks.” I smile, and we walk towards the boys.
“Bye, Jakey!” I reach up pinching his cheeks.
“Stop it!” He grabs me into a hug, “I’ll see you later!”
“Yeaaaa, later mannn!” I smile at him and walk to Harry.
“I’ll see you later, guys.” Harry smiles hugging them both, then turning back towards me lacing our fingers together.
I took a deep breath as we walked into the suite. “Are you hungry?” he asked.
“Depends? Are you gonna make food?”
“What would you like?
I smile, “Can I have…” I wrapped my arms around his waist, looking up to him so our face was an inch apart. “a grilled ham and cheese?”
“Of course!” he smiled, pecking my lips.
“Thank you.” I pulled him into the kitchen and sat on the counter next to the stove.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That was good, thanks Harry.” I kissed his cheek as we walked toward the bedroom.
“You’re welcome.” He said, sitting on the edge of the bed, pulling me between his legs. “So,” he sighs.
When he is quiet I reply, “So?”
“I’ve been wanting to talk.” He doesn’t look me in the eyes at first, so I take his head in my hands and move his head to face me.
“About what?” I begin running my fingers through his hair.
“About you and I. You’re leaving tomorrow, and I just wanted to know how you feel.” He finally says.
I lick my lips and look to the ground. I let out a sigh, feeling the nerves build in my stomach. I knew it was coming, I knew what I was going to do, and I’ve been dreading it. “Harry,” I sit next to him on the bed with his hand in mine. “I don’t know what to say…” I shake my head. “I mean, I know what to say I just don’t know how and I just-” I stopped, letting the tears fall from my eyes.
“Shhh, baby. You don’t have to cry, we’ll make this work.” He turns and puts my head in his hands.
Shaking my head slightly, I push his hands away gently. “Harry.” I exhale, then I take a deep breathe. “I can’t.”
His hands fall to his lap as he looks at me, “What?” he whispers
I don’t even think I can look him in the eye. “Harry, listen.” I bit the insides of my cheeks and then take another deep breathe. “Ever since I was little I’ve only wanted to do one thing. I promised myself I would make it… Before I moved in with my aunt and uncle I didn’t think that I would ever actually be able to follow my dreams. I’m moving to California, I’m moving there to follow my dreams I have had since I was in the second grade. Harry, I want to do what I’ve loved, what’s kept me going…”
“I don’t understand.” He shakes his head, then looks at me with watery eyes.
“Harry, I’m so grateful you came into my life. I’ve been so happy with you and I want you to know that. This summer has been unexpected, and as much as I want to be with you I don’t think I can.”
He stands from the bed and moves across the bedroom, running his fingers through his hair.
“Harry, I know this sounds confusing but I mean… it’s just that if I ever make it big like I plan, I can’t do this. I don’t want to walk around one day if I’m ever successful and have people saying it’s because of you.” I say, talking with my hands.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” he raised his voice.
“Because I didn’t know how to tell you!” I stood.
“So you were going to this the whole time!? The whole fucking time!” he shouted.
I jumped back, the tears filling my eyes. I closed them and whispered. “Yea.” I wipe underneath my eyes. “I’m sorry.” My voice was barely there.
I don’t want to be in the room, but I don’t want to leave. I’m shaking; my body is literally shaking from everything going on. I need to breathe.
I walked over towards the bedroom door and put my hand on it before I heard him, “I love you.” It wasn’t a whisper, it wasn’t a yell, but it sent pain through me anyway.
“I know.” I replied, looking at the door.
“What do you mean?” he was closer now.
“You said it… the night you got drunk and I said you were crying, you told me you loved me before you fell asleep.”
“You knew? You didn’t tell me? I’ve been going mental trying to figure out the best time to tell you, you knew and you said nothing!”
“I know, I just didn’t know how to bring it up.” I finally turned to look at him, and I regretted it right away. There were tears in his eyes that showed nothing but hurt.
“You seem to not know a lot, Annabelle.” He spoke sternly.
I let out a quick breath and moved to open the door.
“So how do you feel?”
“What do you mean?” I knew what he meant.
“You know what I mean. Do you feel the same? Tell me, I should know right?” I didn’t reply. “Please.”
I looked him in the eyes, his red, teary, eyes. “I… I should go.” I choked out; he turned towards the bathroom with his head in his hands. I moved and grabbed my stuff from the chair on the side of the bed, then walked back to the door. I glanced at Harry and his back was still facing me. I debated on going to him, saying something, but I don’t know what would change. I still leave tomorrow; I still want what I want… So I leave, I literally run out of his bedroom, out of his suite. I didn’t say goodbye, I didn’t say anything. I just ran to my suite and into my room and shut the door, then leaned against it and slid down.
What did I do? I pushed him away, like I do with everyone. And why? For selfish reasons I guess. Do I though, do I love Harry? God!
I let the tears run down my face, as I sob loudly into my hands. I already miss him.
“Anna, are you okay?” I hear Ashley on the other side of the door.
“I really, really don’t want to talk, Ash. Please, I’ll talk to you in the morning; I’m tired and want to be alone.” I beg.
“Okay.” She spoke hesitantly.
I rested my head on the door, squeezing my eyes shut. I just felt heartbroken. Suddenly I remembered the letter Harry wrote me. I crawled to the nightstand by my bed and opened it, pulling out the paper Harry had given me on our one month anniversary date. I sniffed and wiped away my tears before opening it.
I read the letter over and over; the tears I wiped away were back. He’d only known me for a month, and he wrote this. I want to smile, but I’m fine crying… no, I’m not fine. I moved from the floor and grabbed my journal and pen, then flipped to the back page and wrote down my feelings. I wrote down everything.

Notes