Summer Break

I wake up, seeing the light peeking through my window, for the 3rd time since Harry said he loved me. How could anyone sleep after that? And Harry’s unusual loud snores also greet my eyes once I become aware. I look down at the boy who’s lying in the same position he was when he fell asleep, only now his arm is lazily slung over my waist.
I don’t want to move from him, because part of me feels like he still needs me here. Like, he needs me to tell him it’s okay, though I know that’s not the case. What I mean is, I know he’s not going to cry and have me hold him when he wakes up. Some of me wishes he would, because it made me feel wanted… oh, look at me being selfish again.
I turned to look at the alarm clock on the side of the bed and see it’s 9:30. How that happened, I’m not sure. Unwillingly, I gently hold Harry’s arm and begin slowly moving from the bed. When I’m no longer by him, I place his hand gently down on the bed and stood. I watched him move around a bit, and then he settles down and is asleep like he was before.
I walk to the door and open it quietly to step outside of the room. As I’m shutting the door I see Ashley and Jake already in the kitchen. They have worried looks on their faces, but I give them a small smile before walking towards them.
“Good Moring guys.” I say, walking to the cabinet to pull out a coffee cup. “How was your night?” I asked filling up my cup.
“It was… good.” Jake replied while I added some creamer to my beverage.
I nodded sitting down at the kitchen table across from them. I was afraid there was going to be an awkward silence, but Ashley was quick to speak again.
“So, why was Harry drunk? How’d last night go?” She asked.
“I uh, I don’t know why he was drinking really. He didn’t tell me, but he was upset. He was really upset about me leaving, then he got kinda sick and I told him we’d talk when we wakes up.” I shrugged, pulling the cup of coffee to my lips and taking a small sip.
“You gonna be okay?” Jake asked, his features soft and full of worry.
“I’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.” I assured them, finding it hard to talk about.
“We got the bottle of medicine for when he wakes up and put it on the counter over there for you.” Ashley pointed to the bottle on the counter behind me.
I turned and got out of my chair to grab the bottle. “Thank you.” Was my response before grabbing my coffee of the table and giving them another look. I smile at them, “Thank you guys for being such great friends. I’ll let you know what happens… maybe.”
They laugh and I join. “That’s what we’re here for!” Ashley exclaims.
I shake my head laughing and walk towards my door. Before I open it, I cross my heart and throw my hand up in the air and earn a chuckle from behind me. I turn and smile at them before I open the door.
The room felt like a completely different environment than the kitchen. It was definitely quieter that is for sure. And as I walk to the table and chair next to my bed, I notice Harry is no longer snoring. It makes me feel as though he will wake up soon, so I decided to go and fill up a glass of water for him to take his medicine.
I wanted to go sit on the balcony or go back into the kitchen, but I didn’t want him to wake up with me not there. I didn’t want him to continue to think that I didn’t want him, because I did. So I sat down on the chair next to my bed after grabbing my phone from the nightstand. I scroll through my twitter and remember how much I used to be on twitter all the time. I was obsessed with knowing every detail about other peoples’ lives. Wow, I have changed, huh? Still I go through Twitter until I’m bored and move on to Instagram. I still love Instagram, looking at pictures of what other people see or do… even selfies though. I’m not even gonna lie, I have some pretty friends, and I’m proud to say that! Yea, sometimes my old addictions come back to me.
“Annabelle?” his deep, sleepy voice mumbled. My focus shot from my phone to him, he moved a bit and kept his eyes closed.
He flipped around a bit before mumbling my name again. I watched him sit up and put his head in his hands rubbing his eyes. He was so beautiful, even with his hair a mess and his tired features, he was the most gorgeous human being I’ve ever laid my eyes on.
Finally, his tired eyes opened and found mine. I knew he was hurt, and it made me feel so bad, and then a weak smile formed on his lips.
I snapped out of my gaze, remembering the water and pills I had for him. “Oh,” I said reaching for it on the table. “Here, take this.” I sat down on the edge of the bed handing him the glass and two small pills.
Harry held his hands out to take them from me, “Thank you.” He swallowed the pills quickly, and finished half the glass of water before speaking once more. “About last night… I’m not quite sure what happened. Do you mind cluing me in?”
“Of course.” You came here drunk and upset with me, threw up, cried, oh and then you told me you loved me. “You came here around two in the morning… drunk off your ass. You literally almost woke up the whole floor you were so loud.” I say trying to lighten the mood, and it worked a bit then his face was once again serious. “Uhm, I helped you to my room and you drank some water and we talked a bit…and yo-”
“Talked about what?” he turned his body towards me a bit.
“Well, uh.” I rain a nervous hand through my hair. “You asked why I left you, and asked why I don’t feel the same about you as you do me. Then you asked me why I couldn’t talk to you.” I looked down at my hands embarrassed.
“Then what happened?”
I take a deep sigh of relief and reply, “You ran to the bathroom and got sick.” I looked at him again as he put his face back in his hands and I wanted to hold him like this morning. “I came in, and sat with you and you didn’t let go of my hand the entire time.” I smile because even in his drunken angry state, he still wanted me with him. “Once you were finished I had you brush your teeth, and then we came and laid down on the bed. It was quiet for a bit before you asked if I could, uh, hold you.”
“Oh, bloody hell.” was all he said.
“I said yes, and you put your head on my stomach and wrapped your arm around me.” I bit my lip, speaking the next words slowly, noticing that Harry was looking at me again. “then you just, started crying.”
“I’m sorry.” He whispered.
“Why? You shouldn’t be. It just sucked because I didn’t know if you were crying because I left…I felt so terrible, I didn’t know that it would have that affect and I just- I just didn’t know what to do Harry.”
“It wasn’t because you left.” He said lowly, moving next to me at the edge of the taking my hand in his. “I guess it might have been about that a little bit. I was worried about you. I wasn’t trying to push you into having sex, and I felt like a proper dick.” I shook my head at his claim. “Ashley said you weren’t talking to her, so I called you. I wanted to give you space but I didn’t… I couldn’t go that long without seeing you or not worrying. So when I called I was out on my little balcony, and I was watching you.”
“Oh?” I whispered, not even sure if it was a whisper.
“I saw you crying after you saw I was calling and declined it. I was upset with myself and scared that I pushed you too far and was going to lose you. So I dealt with that pain the only way I knew how at the moment and went to the bar. I drank so much, I don’t even remember how many I had.” He shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. Yes, those other questions do run through my mind sometimes, but not exactly how they came out last night.”
“You didn’t push me too far... I did, and I was overthinking it like I do everything. You did nothing wrong. I left because I was scared, because I didn’t want to talk about it, and because I was being selfish. I’ve never felt so much for one person before Harry, and I always promised myself that I would wait until I was married to have sex. And yesterday I wanted to so bad, more than anything and then I just… I don’t even know what happened. Wanting to save myself and wanting to be with you was overwhelming.” I shake my head, rearranging my thoughts and what I wanted to say to him. “I hope that helps answer your other question. Harry, I suck at expressing my feelings, and I know I think too much, and I am not always the best at letting people in. I’m sorry for that, but I do like you. If I didn’t like you as much as I do, I doubt I would spend like, every day with you. I wanna be with you Harry, you make me happier than I have ever been before.” I take a deep breath and continue again. “I find it hard to trust people; I don’t mean that I don’t trust you because I do. But that’s why it’s hard for me to talk to people… to talk to you. I don’t do it on purpose Harry, it’s going to take time, but I am trying. I want to let you in, but it’s terrifying.”
Honestly, I’m just surprised I said everything I had to say without crying. This could also have something to do with the fact that I only look into Harry’s eyes a couple of times. He was listening, and I hoped he understood.
What scared me was what happened next, when he let go of my hand and stood from the bed. I didn’t know what he was doing, but then he walked over and slipped on his tight jeans. Wait, is he gonna… I didn’t even want to think it, but I stared at him in shock and confusion. After he buckled his belt he walked back over and took my hand in his again and I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. He pulled me of the bed and into his arms. His arms were tight around my body, and I repeated his actions with my arms around his waist. I rested my head on his chest, and I felt his chin rest on my head. I closed my eyes, taking in his scent. After all that happened last night, I could honestly say he’s definitely smelt better before. I still didn’t care, I like this, us, him. I did feel bad about hiding his last four words said to me last night, but I was not ready for that discussion
Harry would often leave kisses on my head as he held me. We didn’t talk; we just stood there with each other in silence. It felt so good, so beautiful. And that’s all we did for who knows how long, and I was completely okay with it. And right before I swore this moment couldn’t get any better Harry proved me wrong by whispering.
“I understand.”

Notes

Hi,

So I didn't proof read this, cause I'm about to leave me house but I wanted to post this. And NOW I doubt I'll update again until Thursday or Friday! Uhm, yea,. Okay. OH SHOOT! Thanks for the 100 subscribers! Love y'all so much, It's crazy! BRB IM SHAKING IN MY SPARKLY BOOTS!!! okay, off to go Christmas shopping! Oh who watched the boys on SNL last night?! I feel like it made all the Hendall drama go away for a bit... It was refreshing!



Have a nice day, week, night, year, love youuuuuuuuuu.
Bye.

.xx R