Q & A
Yes I'm aware it's been a month since I've updated with a proper chapter, I am so incredibly sorry I've just been so busy and haven't had time to write. I promise I will write and post the next chapter once I get a
little time xo for now, here's some character Q&A
i got a few comments, but wow heaps of you messaged me with questions so, as promised, here is all of them.
Q: Why are you so insecure? You seem lovely.
A: *blushes* thanks. Um...I could psychoanalyse this and try to trace it back to something but really, it's everything. If that makes any sense. Anything and everything makes me insecure and I don't know how to fix it. I'm scared people find me annoying, ugly, a pain, weird and so much more. I don't know, I'm just afraid that everyone secretly hates me and would much rather me out of their lives....
Q: When Harry leaves (which he must eventually), will you two stay together?
A: Yes. Why, did he say we won't?
Q: What do the scars represent for you?
A: A lot....there are many things they represent, most of which I'm not going to say because they are too personal and I am ashamed of some. One thing they do represent though, is what I've overcome in my life. I'm not even 20 and I've been through hell....I'll keep fighting though. For Harry.
Q: Do you really think you were ready to be let out of the hospital?
A: Yes. I know I'm not better. Honestly I will probably never be 'better' but I don't need to be in that hospital anymore. I may not be okay, but I'm okay to be back home.
Q: Why didn't you ever talk to Harry about him being distant?
A: I was afraid. It was a simple as that, I was too afraid and every time I went to do it I chickened out.
Q: Are you going to tell your fans about where you were for all that time you were in hospital?
A: One day probably....I feel like they have a right to know. Not any time soon though, and I'll have to convince Harry and the others to let me...
Q: Why are you on a first name basis with some paparazzi?
A: Why not? They follow me around as there life practically, I might as well get to know some of them. Plus, they are actually really funny sometimes.
Q: Why do you think you're fat; you're obviously not.
A: I can't explain that. I see myself in a mirror and I see a greatly flawed person who needs to loose weight and doesn't deserve anything good. I don't know why. I can't help it.....
Q: Why did you never leave Ky?
A: I ask myself that a lot. It wasn't because I was scared to leave and I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse....probably worse. Every time we were together and he was sweet and kind and amazing I would forget about what he did to me. I forgot the monster that came out when he was mad or drunk and I just saw the amazing guy who I was with at that moment.
Q: Do you wish you were in contact with your sisters?
A: No. That probably sounds horrible but it's best for everyone that we have no connections with each other.
Q: Do you resent Harry for not realising what was going on with you?
A: No. Of course not. I couldn't even see it myself really. I denied it so much and Harry knew so little about my past that I couldn't possibly expect him to realise what was going on. Plus, he's Harry and he usually only see's the good side of things, that makes him oblivious to a lot.
Q: When you saw your dad, did you think he would welcome you with open arms like he mocked you for supposably thinking?
A: I never thought he would be kind if I saw him again. I knew he would still be a drunk. I knew he would still resent me for everything I did from the day I was born. So no, it was no surprise that our 'reunion' went the way it did.
Q: So....you sleep around a lot?
A: You got a problem with that? *raises eyebrows and crosses arms challengingly.*
Q: Do you have feelings for Louis?
A: As in Tomlinson? Fuck no. I mean yeah he can be really sweet and funny but he's too much of an annoying prick to ever like like.
Q: Have you ever been in love?
A: Nup. Don't plan on it any time soon either, really, what's the point?
Q: Do you think Bella is better?
A: I don't think she'll ever be better, what I can do though is hope and pray that she can get close enough that she's happy. All that matters is that she's happy.
Q: First impression of Louis?
A: Prick. Ass. Douche. Annoying. Weirdly sassy. Bit- *lists many other words using colourful language*
Q: How's university going?
A: Really well, thanks for asking.
Q: If you could go back in time what would you change about your and Bella's relationship?
A: I'd tell her I felt sooner. I would have not been an awkward fuck for so long. I would have kissed her that night we were dancing. I would have told everyone the second she said she would be mine and shown her off to the world. I would have noticed when she stopped eating....when her body became the drawing pad of her razor...I would have loved her better.
Q: When you eventually go on tour will you and Bella stay together?
A: Yes. Why, did she say we won't?
Q: What's you're biggest fear?
A: Hurting Bella. My biggest fear is seeing her in pain and knowing that I was the one who caused it. Screwing up...doing something so bad she won't take me back. I never want to hurt her because I love her too much, but I'm scared one day I will fuck everything up...
Q: Do you think you understand what Bella is going through?
A: No. When it comes to eating disorders and self harm, you never know what someone is going through unless it's you. People say it's selfish and a cry for attention to hurt of starve yourself, but unless they have felt the pain my Bella felt then they can't judge because they don't know. I'll never understand how she felt but I will do everything I can to keep her from feeling that way again.
Q: Are you always on top? If ya know what I mean ;)
A: Jesus Christ I am not answering that *blushes madly with wide embarrassed eyes*
Q: What do you think when you look at her scars?
A: Mixed emotions I guess. I see how strong she is and how amazing she is.....but I also see all the pain she was going through and how bloody oblivious I was. She needed me. She was crumbling right in front of my eyes and I was too blind to even notice....
Q: How much do you love Bella?
A: *smiles fondly* To every star and back.
Q: Have you got a crush on Eliza? *smirks*
A: As in Bella's best friend Eliza? No way. I mean yeah she's nice and funny and smart and beautiful and great but she's still a bitch. Of course I don't like her. Not in that way. Nope. *coughs awkwardly and looks up*
Q: Do you still love El?
A: As a friend yeah. I love her like I love Bella...well I guess Bella more sisterly and El more friend like...but still, I love her but I'm not in love with her at all anymore.
Q: First impression of Eliza?
A: Psycho bitch.
Q: Eliza sleeps around. Thoughts?
A: Well it's not any of my damn business is it?
Q: Do you think Dani has really forgiven you for cheating?
A: ......yeah? I mean she's a girl....so I don't really know....but I think she has. I'll never cheat again and I will regret what I did every day for the rest of my life.
Q: Do you still think that Harry will hurt Bella?
A: *sighs* I hope not.
Q: Do you regret not telling the guys about Ky at first?
A: I don't know. I mean it wasn't exactly my place to tell. They probably would have treated her 'like glass' which she hates so no I don't think I should have told them earlier.
Q: Did you have any feelings for Bella? I mean like, more than friends.
A: No I don't think so. I mean she's beautiful and she's really amazing but I love Perrie and Bella's practically my little sister. I love her to bits but not in that way.
Q: Are you afraid you will hurt Perrie again, physically?
A: I will never do anything like what I did ever again. Never. I am certain of that.
Q: Do you still think that Harry will hurt Bella?
A: I think he's already hurt her a little bit here and there. I'm still waiting for something even bigger to happen. I don't know what. He's one of my best mates and I don't mean to talk shit about him but honestly I still don't trust him with Bella.
Q: Anyone special in your life?
A: *sighs sadly* No.
Q: Did you think that when you came to Australia you and Bella would become a thing?
A: Nah. I mean the thought crossed my mind 'coz that sort of thing always seems to happen in books 'n' shit but no I never expected us to become a couple or anything.
Q: Are you jealous of any of the others because of how close they became to Bella when she was you're friend first?
A: I don't know. Her and Zayn are incredibly close but I think Harry is the only one jealous of that. She's got some weird bond with Louis no one really gets and Liam already knew a major secret of hers before he even knew who she was. They all have their connections with her but we are really close. I guess it doesn't seem like it to the others but me and Bella are just as close and her and Liam.
Q: Do you ever feel left out when you're all in a big group? If yes, why?
A: I guess *runs hand through hair*. Harry has Bella, Zayn has Perrie, Liam has Dani, Louis' always arguing or laughing with Eliza. El sort of drifts, fitting in anywhere. Not me though. It doesn't bother me too much though, I don't want to get in the way of anyone's happiness...
Q:Do you see Bella as a daughter?
A: Yes, more of a niece I think. She's a very lovely girl whom I've formed a wonderful relationship with. She's very strong and I admire her for her strength, but yes at the end of the day I guess I sort of see her as my little girl.
Q: Are the boys going to go on tour any time soon?
A: That's something for me to discuss with the boys.
Q: Where will you go when 1D go on tour?
A: Undecided. I've been thinking of staying in Australia for a bit actually. There's someone wonderful talent down here and it's a great country. Plus, it means I'd stay closer to Bella and can make sure nothing happens to her.
Q: Do you approve of Bella and Harry's relationship?
A: They love each other and seem happy together, so why wouldn't I be? As long as he doesn't do anything too stupid I'll keep 'shipping Berry' or whatever it is you kids say.
Q:Why did you abuse Bella?
A: *Scowls* Well aren't you a nosey little bitch? She knows I love her and she just needed to be put in her place every now and then. She'll come crawling back to me once that Henry fucks up.
Q: Are you fucked up in the head?
A: Are you fucked up in the head?! Asshole....
Q: Where are you now?
A: Taking a road trip I guess. Between places. Not that it's even any of your buisness...
Q:You're a motherfucking douche!
A: Not a question smartass. *scowls again and storms out.*
Q: Eliza said she felt like you didn't really like her, is that true? If yes, why?
A: I never hated her. Uhh I don't know why......she wasn't very nice to Lou. Yeah they hated each other....that's why...yup that's the only reason. *coughs*
Q: Are you and Bella very close?
A: Oh yeah absolutely. Honestly I was worried we wouldn't get along at first but we are really close now.
Q: What's going to happen when the boys go back to England or on tour, since you're no longer with Louis?
A: I have an idea. It's not set in stone but I know what I want to do.
Q: Have you really forgiven Liam for cheating?
A: I know he regrets it and he's sorry and I'm not mad or anything. Forgive and forget right? Well......forgive.
Q: How did you react when you found out about Bella's eating disorder and everything else?
A: I was shocked. I mean she's Bella....she just seems so perfect. We should have noticed though. She was so thin and we were so blind.
Q: Be honest, did you like Bella when you first met?
A: I was a little skeptical but only because Liam had talked her up so much it made me think he liked her but I was wrong and honestly she's really lovely so yeah.
Q: Are you scared Zayn will physically hurt you?
A: I don't know. I really don't think he would.....not 'concisely'. What if he got drunk and mad.....nah I don't think he would.
Q: Is being on the road with Little Mix hard on your relationship with Zayn?
A: Yeah it is. I don't get to see him that often in person but we make it work.
Q: Are you jealous of Bella and her relationship with Zayn?
A: *coughs* Of course not. I'm not scared that he'll leave me for her because they are really close and he'd probably pick her over me because she's Bella and he cares about her a lot and loves her. Nope. Not at all.
Q: What's your name?
Q: Fave colour and number?
A: Black and 18.
Q:What are 10 things about yourself?
-I have two sisters, an older and a younger
-I'm a sarcastic little motherfucker if I know you really well, but I'm incredibly shy with new people or people I don't know well or even people I just don't know really well
-I don't have a fave 1D member (despite what my username might say), as cliché as it sounds I love them all equally
-I'm a Mikey girl
-I love Sleeping With Sirens and All Time Low
-I live in Melbourne, Australia. And yes, the weather is as crazy as people say. We don't joke when we say we have 4 seasons in one day some days.
-I play the clarinet and I sing, but not in front of people 'coz I'm too shy!
-I currently have no one in my life who I actually trust.
-I'm just a little fucked up.
-I have many very strong opinions on things in the world. I will not hesitate to get into LONG conversations and debates about them. My family learnt that the hard way.
Bonus 11: my room is a pig sty >_< Everyone I know thinks I would have a clean room but I am that person that literally throws my clothes to the other side of the room when I take them off. I mean I clean...occasionally. It never stays clean for more then a few hours though.
Bonus 12: music is about 90% of my life. Oh yeah and I swear wayyy too much...seriously if you've ever met me you know I'm not exaggerating when I say I swear in majority of my sentences. I'll just blame the fact that I'm Aussie......
Q: If you had to kill off one character, who would it be?
A: Hmmm....you'd think I'd say Ky hands down, but I don't know. I mean he's a total asshole, no question, but he's good to have in the story if I need to spice things up every now and then by having him pop up and honestly I don't completely hate him. I sort of like him a bit, not because of what he did to bella, I guess just because I know everything about him and the way he thinks ect. Honestly, Riley pisses me off. I originally imagined him as this totally sweet character who I'd love, but I don't like that he thinks he'd be better for Bella then Harry is. #BerryStymos
Q: Do you have any other fics planned, outside of this series?
A: Oh yeah, heaps. Buttt I can barely manage updating this one, so unless my teachers magically decide to never give us homework, I doubt I'll be writing any while this one's still going.
Q: Will the book after Perfect Act be the last in the series?
A: I hope not. I have so many ideas for a third book, if you what to read it, I'll write it.
Q:Have you planned out the sequel?
A: Mate I've had the sequel planned for months. If I could, I'd be writing it now but the homework I have is insane and it's 1am right now because I can't even find any time to do this! Fuck I hate school.....*mentally plans a list of teachers to murder if I ever go on a killing spree*
Q:What's your biggest fear?
A: In terms of things, spiders. So many people say it but I am actually so terrified of them. Goddammit I live in Australia, I should be able to handle a few spiders, but nope. I scream like a little bitch when I see one of those millimetre length spiders and force my Dad to kill it!
In terms of my biggest fear in life? Well, that would have to be my own mind.
Q:Since you're an Aussie girl like me, which footy team do you barrack for?
A: COLLINGWOOD!!!! C'arn the Pies! Fuck man that game last week was intense shit. I went to it and Jesus fucking Christ that last quarter felt like it went on forever! I still can't believe we won ^_^
Q:Who's the mystery character for the sequel?
A: Aww like I'm gonna tell you haha xo you'll find out soon enough though ;)
Q:What was the hardest scene to write and why?
A: Every scene that is not particularly eventful is hard to write because I want to make it interesting without dragging on about something that's not important.
But the one scene that was the hardest to write was the scene that was the easiest to write. The one where Bella completely broke down and almost killed herself. I'd had it planned out for so long and my fingers could barely keep up on the keyboard when I was writing it, but everything she was thinking, having to describe everything and imagine it was horrible and then going back to edit and reading it over again. The scene read exactly how I wanted it to, but it was still really hard, emotionally, for me to write.
Q: Does Bella love Harry as much as he loves her?
A: I don't think anyone could love someone as much as Harry loves Bella. That's something she still doesn't understand, the way he values her and loves her so deeply. She doesn't understand that someone can care about her so much. She really loves him too though, she loves him the best she can. She's been through a lot and her ability to trust him and let herself love him the way he loves her, well to put it simply she can't. She loves him with all she has, and he loves her with all he has.
Q: Marry me?
A: Sure, who wants to be bridesmaids?
Q:Why did you decide to call this Perfect Act? And what will the sequel be called?
A: I actually don't remember, I had so many possibilities but Perfect Act just seemed right. The way I think of this story and the characters, the title just fits it.
And I can't tell you, or I'd have to kill you ;)
Q: You're such an amazing author and I was just wondering where do you get your inspiration from? A heartbreak? Good imagination? Or something else? :o
A: Aww thanks. And I get my inspiration from practically everything, I'm not exaggerating. I could see a door close and a chapter beginning with someone closing a door comes to mind and just builds on. I guess I get a lot of inspiration from music and building on some of my personal experiences. I've never loved anyone, we all like to dream of how perfect it will be but honestly I think love is overrated because 0.5% of relationships will be like the ones in the movies. I'm a bit pessimistic if you didn't notice....umm but yeah most of my ideas just come from my imagination, nothing in particular.
Q: Are you going to right a sequel? Also for all your characters who do imagine them to be?
A: Sequels all planned out and ready to write....as soon as I finish this one. Physically, each character I imagine as their character picture, except for Bella funnily enough. I imagine THIS to be her actual hair and for her face, I think you should picture however you think looks right and suits her. Her clothing, I imagine to be quite cute and comfy and she wears lots of beanies. Her wardrobe is impossibly large in my imagination, and along with the clothes she buys are the ones that Harry buys and makes her wear.
Q: Are any of the characters based on people in your life?
A: Mainly just me. I find that some characters in fanfics react in ways that not many people actually would, so when Bella or Eliza are reacting to something, I try and think of what I would do. I pretty much split my personality and gave some to Bella and then the rest to Eliza. She isn't highlighted as much as a character in this book, but (later on you'll find out) the way she thinks and her opinions on things will probably mirror mine very closely.
NotesLemme know your thoughts after hearing (well....reading) all of their answers to your questions and if you have any more questions or thoughts leave them in the comments and I might do another Q&A xoxo again I'm so sorry it's been so long I'm really trying to find time to write but school makes it so hard...
ps. I GOT ONE DIRECTION TICKETS!!!!!! And guess when the concert is? Valentines Day! Haha I'm so excited I've been waiting for this since forever. I went to their take me home tour and I can't wait for this one and my seats are really good!