(Manisha’s P.O.V)

Zayn rushed up to the room as soon as we reached home and lexi looked at me weirdly “he is just very tired” I tell her and try to shrug it off. He needs to get over perrie and I cant really help him until he wants me to. So I leave him alone and go to spend time with my parents. I haven’t spent family time in such a long time.

We end up watching movies and by the end of it mom and dad are passed out on the couch, cuddling together like teenagers.

“They are so cute” lexi sighs and takes a picture of them, she loves that she has two parents now even though she misses her mother terribly sometimes. It’s easy to see that she is very glad that she has us a family.

We go up to Lexi’s room and hang out for a while talking and giggling and mostly fangirling over Zayn and gushing about how we feel when we are around him.

“is it weird that even tho I was with my boyfriend the whole day today all I could think about was how hot and sexy zayn is?” she giggled.

“Lexi!!! You fool!! Hahaha no its not weird but only cuz he is Zayn Malik. Anybody else and I would have killed you!”

“I think he likes you” she says

“oh yahh thanx for ruining that moment by the way, I thought I would finally kiss Zayn Malik in real life instead of just my dreams and then BAM, just a dream again” I pouted and lexi started rolling around the bed giggling.

“Oh please you and I both know that opportunity will present itself over and over again till the time he leaves” she said sticking her tongue out.

“I hope he never does” I sigh.

“me too”

We both let out a long sigh.

“anyways ill go sleep now. So tired! Goodnight my little dove, hope you have nightmares.”

“hope you have nightmares too” lexi chuckles and I walk out of her room.

* * *

(Zayn’s P.O.V)


I Don’t know how she understood but she did that I didn’t really want to talk to anybody at the
moment and she didn’t even follow me when I rushed up to the room when we came home. I am so grateful for that. Spending time like that with Isha and seeing Lexi and Josh together had reminded me of perrie too much and I realized that I am nowhere near to getting over her, I am still in the denial phrase I think.


The tears start falling as I remembered how good we used to be together. I remembered all the time we had spent with each other, how even though it hadn’t worked out originally we had been working for each other so much and had made things work. I remember how supportive the fans were and how we laughed each time we saw ‘zerrie’ anywhere. How could she have done this to me?

I remembered how me and Louis had sat down while the others took Niall out for pizza, and told him that I planned to propose to perrie. He was the only one I had confided this too. And he had given me the best idea ever, of getting a tattoo of her on my arms if she said yes. Thank god he hadn’t advised me to get one before I proposed because I just couldn’t deal with such a painful reminder of her right now.

I wondered how Harrie made sense of all of this when perrie was cheating on me, I wonder how long this has been going on. I hope to lord that I wasn’t being made a fool for a long time. No it couldn’t have been long, something would have slipped before this if it had been going on for a long time.

And I cried for a long time, cried for my lost love.


* * *

I didn’t know how much time had passed or what time it was. All I know is that I have been crying my eyes out and well my tears have still not stopped falling. I really did love that girl very much. My thoughts were disturbed with a small knock on the door. reluctantly I got out of the comfortable bed and opened the door to see Isha standing there.

We didn’t say anything to each other, I could feel her looking at me but I couldn’t look at her, I looked at the floor, I wanted to pull her close to me and cry infront of her as well as push her away and never have her look at me in such a vulnerable state again. She suddenly pulled me in for a hug, a warm comfortable hug. It was when she hugged me I realized that I need her to stay with me for some time, I wanted someone to almost reassure me that I deserved to be loved too. Her presence somehow reassured me, I don’t know how and I don’t know why but it did.

I pulled her into the room and closed the door, making sure to lock it. I turned to see that she was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at me with a very concerned and tender expression on her face.

“how did you know I was up?” I whispered my voice rather sore and dry.

“Oh zayn I could hear you sobbing from my room. The window is open you fool.”

“thanx for checking up on me” I said.

Normally I know that would have earned me some sort of cheeky answer but not now, now all I got from her was a really sad smile.

“Finally caught up with you eh?” she asked

“Yah, later than it would have in the UK for sure.” I said

“Well duhh, you didn’t take that 9 hours flight for nothing you know.”

I went and sat beside her and we both grabbed the pillows and laid down, our legs still dangling out of the bed, staring at the ceiling and for the longest time none of us said anything. I think Isha expected me to talk but I just couldn’t bring myself to talk, I was still choked up. Just when I thought maybe she had fallen asleep she spoke very softly.

“You know, sharing your feelings might help, I heard bottling up your feelings is never a good thing.”

I sighed she was right, and I wanted to talk to her, tell her everything but I just didn’t know where to begin.

“allright, so since you are a fan you know the stories of everything 1D right? So you remember when me and Perrie first started dating, we broke up after a few months because it wasn’t really working out? That was a cover story, she was double timing me with a guy she used to know before X-factor and Little mix. I found out about it and was sort of angry, for I wasn’t as emotionally invested with her as I am now. After we broke up, she realized that she and that guy could not continue because well he never understood the fast pace of our lives. So well they broke up and well we couldn’t just pick up things from where we had left it so we got together as friends and well literally weighted the pros and cons of dating each other. In the end we agreed to give each other a chance since we had so much in common. First X-factor, then she was in a band as was I, both the bands were doing really good and we both had tours and concerts and well we understood the fast pace of the live and the media and the buzz it creates for every little things that we do.”

Isha didn’t say anything, silently urging me to go on.

“You know I never wanted to fall for Perrie. She had already broken my trust once and she took the longest of times to earn it back again. I always thought I would date models or celebs but in the end I would settle down with a fan or a non-famous person. But something about Perrie changed that thought of mine. She is famous yes, but she is one of the most grounded person I have ever met. You probably follow little mix as much as you follow 1D? most of the fans do?”
“No, not really. I have listened to their songs yes and they are quite good but I never saw the purpose of fangirling over them just because well you dated her or something.”

I chuckled at that, most fans would never think along these lines.

“well they are like the girl version of us, always goofing around, love to party and love their fans to bits. And well the boys and I, we were so surprised because most of the female celebs we have encountered are well stuck up bitches. So, naturally before I knew it I began to fall for Perrie very hard. It somehow felt like she completed me at that time, I thought she was the one. I will tell you something only Louis knows” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I was about to propose to Perrie, I was gonna do it today had I not found out about her and harry.”

I heard her take a sharp breath, and I turned to my right to look at her, silent tears were falling down her cheeks.

“Heyy don’t cry. Everything happens for a reason right? And I found the reason for me and Perrie breaking up the way we did. My reason is you, I was destined to meet you. I don’t know where I would have been right now, drinking my sorrows away had I not met you. You know the entire flight to Delhi and at the lounge before I met you, all I could think about was how it went from Zerrie to Harrie and I kept wondering where it all went wrong. But honestly Isha, after I met you, I haven’t really thought about them at all. I think, no I know that I like you, so much. You are so different from all the fans I have ever met, but well I can’t bring myself to start anything with you. Not just because you stay like half the world away from where I will be, but also because you are just too good to be a rebound chick. You deserve much much more than that. And I can’t give you anything like that right now. My heart hurts so much Isha, but you have taken some of that hurt away and I can’t bring myself to hurt you by dragging you into the mess that I am, the mess that celebrity life is. I want us to remain friends though because when I really look at it, I don’t really have too many friends in my life.”

It hurt me to say this to Isha, it really did. I wanted her to be mine forever even though I have known her for such a small time, but she has proven in this short time to be more caring than anybody else in the world that I know who weren’t my immediate family. I raised myself to look at her and kissed her on her forehead.

“I just can’t believe that she did that to you. I really can’t believe that somebody is actually capable of cheating on you. I mean you are Zayn Malik for heaven’s sake!”

“well and he is Harry Styles, you know.”

“Remember how I told you I was a Niall girl when we first met? Well I lied to you, I didn’t wanna come across as a creepy fan girl so I tried to hide what a huge fan I was and well how I had always been a Zayn girl. I read the article about harry and perrie on my flight from Bangalore and well I was hurting so badly because you were somewhere in the world all alone and I would never be the person to comfort you. So you have no idea how loudly I squealed when I saw you sitting there, looking so sad and in need of comfort. I thought I would faint, but somehow I managed to keep my cool. I don’t know how I pulled it off but I did. When I first heard that you and Perrie had gotton back together my heart broke into a million pieces, I knew that girl could never be me except for in my dreams but I wanted to be so badly. But I was happy for you too, the life that you lead can’t be easy and I was so glad that you found someone that made you happy. I saw a lot of girls sending you hate, but I never did because I was happy that you were happy and that was all I needed. Even when I didn’t know you personally and you just the international pop star that I fell in love with, I felt like I knew you, you know, like you knew me too. And somehow I always felt that you loved me too even though you didn’t know that I even existed in the world.”

“I can’t believe you are my girl” I said winking at her.

“did that make your heart beat faster?” I laced my hand through hers.

“does that make you melt or want to faint?” I asked trying to lighten up the mood.

She pulled her hands away and I knew without looking at her that she was blushing.

“stop that zayy weren’t you supposed to be all sad?”

“well you came along and you changed everything, you lift my feet feet of the ground, spin me around” I began to sing feeling suddenly elated and hyper.

Isha began laughing. “I can’t believe you are singing taylor swift.”

“you make me crazier, crazier” I said starting to tickle her.

“stop it zayyy” she shrieked and I obliged.

“go bring me your laptop and let’s check twitter, the fandom must be going crazy with my disappearance and all.” I wanted to know what was going on now that I felt so much better about it all.

“are you sure you are ready to face that?” she asked me her face full of concern.

“yes love” she nodded and went to her room to bring her laptop.

* * *

“so, have you ever tweeted anything to me?” I asked her.

She didn’t answer immediately so I began to poke her.

“yahh tons of times, but well you never noticed.”

“yor username?” I asked.

“@ishaize” (A/N: this is my actual twitter account you can follow me if u want to, I follow back! :D)

I opened her profile and saw that her background picture and well her whole twitter was literally dedicated to One Direction. I laughed at that and immediately followed her back.

“You have no idea how long I have prayed for a follow back from you or even any of the other guys” Isha said.

“Well looks like your prayers are finally being answered in the most dramatic of manners” I joke and she laughed in agreement.

After that we began to read the tweets some of the fans had tweeted to me, some of them accusing me of being a coward, and some telling me to take my time and that they would pray for me and hope that where ever I was, I was doing well. There were several others curious to know if the band would breakup because of this. But among all these tweets one caught my eye.

@Zaynmalik please be doing well where ever you are and know that we are always there for you even when things are horrible. Take care of yourself. Xx

It was a tweet from Isha! I quickly retweeted and favorited the tweet and went on a quick follow spree, following those who told me to take my time and were supporting me through this hard time I was going through. When I was done doing that Isha told me to open her profile and I did, I saw that she had already changed her name on twitter to Zayn/5 from her phone.


I tweeted


“we aren’t gonna breakup over this. Need some quite, alone time. Thanx for the support. xx”


Knowing full well that this tweet was what people would talk about for days to come.

Notes

I feel like this update is long overdue. hope you like the chapter.

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