Once Upon A Time..

-Amanda's POV-

I wake up on the couch. Niall's arm wrapped around my waist. I remove Niall's hands from any physical contact with me. I sigh as my head pounds harder. The voices coming back, slowly.

"I can't do this." I whisper to myself, quietly. I look over my shoulder and at Niall.

" I'm sorry." I whisper.

I pick up Niall's bag from under the bed and grab 2 blades from the bag. I sigh and walk into the washroom, quietly locker the door. I slip off Niall's sweater and set up the blades to my arm. I squeeze me eyes shut and scrape the blade against my skin, letting it tear up. I try to bare the pain and do more. I let out a scream that I've been dying to let out. I then shut my mouth, and make more. Trying to handle the pain. 'Your weak Amanda.' I sigh.

"What am I doing.?" I whisper to myself

'Your beating yourself up.'the voice says.

"N-No. I'm doing what's right. I-I just don't deserve to be around." I say.

'I agree. Kill yourself.' The voice says.

"So helpful." I mutter back.

I make a few more cuts, deeper and deeper each time. I hiss in pain, then I hear bangs on the door.

"Amanda! You took 2 blades from me! What are you doing!?" Niall yells.

"How do you know I took 2 blades?" I ask.

"Because there are only 4 blades left! Amanda, are you cutting yourself!?" Niall yells.

"I-I'm not." I lie.

Just then, the door swings open. Niall grabs the blades from my hand and pulls me in for a hug.

"Amanda, please don't do this. Don't scare me like this. D-Don't kill yourself." Niall tears up .

"You don't know I'm trying to kill myself." I say letting go of Niall. I push him back a little and start to clean up. I bandage my wist and arm and clean up my blood. Niall sighs and helps me.

"I can do it myself." I give him a look and he steps back.

I start cleaning the mess. Once I finish I go back to the living room and sit on one end of the couch. Niall follows and sits beside me. I stand up and sigh. Then walk over to the kitchen.

"Amanda." Niall frowns.

I ignore him and keep walking.

"Amanda!" Niall says again.

"Please stop it." I sigh.

"Amanda, what's going on? You've been avoiding me." Niall says.

" I...I " I stutter.

-During Amanda's sleep-

"Niall, please listen!" I yell.

Niall grabs his bags and walks out of the room.

"Amanda, go away. Just leave and forget we ever had anything. You may had feelings for me, but your just nothing to me." Niall says without even looking at me.

"No, this was not all just fake! Niall, please!" I yell.

"Oh Amanda.. you actually think, that I love you." Niall says and laughs.

"Y-Yes." I stutter.

"Well no. Just no. You may have saved me, and made me feel stronger. But you know, I'm gonna take advantage of the fact I'm a stronger person. and I'm not gonna date someone as weak as you. Your useless now.." Niall walks out the door.

"P-Please." I cry.

"See, just weak." Niall mutters.

-Present-

I look around.

"Why would you think I'd actually do that?" Niall asks

"That's not the whole story of why I'm avoiding you." I say.

"Why then?" Niall asks.

"Because of the voices. Some of them are really bothering me and saying like
'Stay away from Niall'
'We'll find you'
'Leave Niall or you both die.'

but that's not the full reason." I say.

"Tell me everything then!" Niall says.

"No." I walk away.

"Amanda.." Niall says.

"NIALL I SAID NO!" I yell back. Then, blacking out.

Notes