Today was exactly the opposite of yesterday. It was hard to imagine that it had taken me an half an hour to blow dry my hair last night now the sun was all shining. “When do you want to leave?” Mila asked. “Why is that my decision?” “You dragged me here.” “You did not resist. Anyway, Moke is okay, the new shining as well, but I really want to see Guus Meeuwis, so at the latest 2:30?”

“You are freaking sunburned,” Davina laughed it Mila when she took her sunglasses off. “Yeah, better keep those on, then it is not very noticeable,” I added, putting her sunglasses back on. None of us had been smart enough to bring sun block. The sun was setting beautifully while Racoon sang my favourite songs of them. Mila took my arm and dragged me down to get some food. “Okay, seriously, what did you do?” I gave her a puzzled look. “What are you…” “Millions of girl would kill for the way he looks at you and you don’t even like him!” I thought for a minute. “You mean…” “Yes,” she sighed exasperated. “Well, he’s not that bad. They all are actually very nice…” “But you’re still not over Tyson?” I flinched. Okay, she didn’t know, couldn’t know, but it still hurt. “Yeah, but let’s not talk about that and enjoy.” Liar, I thought.

For the last part of Bløf, I’d found my way through the crowd alone. I couldn’t help but to think of my father. He loved this place, the music. He grew up here. It is a mystery to me why he stayed in Brighton after my mom left him. “This one is called ‘Hier’!” The last song of the evening and the last bit of my voice.

Hier ligt mijn hart voor jou!

I wiped away a tear. It will always be here. “Thanks for this amazing weekend and thanks for your amazing, warm, enthusiastic presence," Pascal said and something else, but I was distracted. Someone wrapped his arms around me. “Enjoyed it dear?” I jumped up. No. Not here, not now. Not him.