that day...
Chapter 8
*MYAS POV*
I was nervous of going back to my apartment..
Especially because as soom as i got home to my apartment i needed to talk to Ni about him going back to London and about whats going to happen to us...
"Oh shit!!!" i yelled loid enough for Ni to worry
"What what happened??" He asked worridly
"The letter!! I told Steve to mail the letter to your hotel.I need to go get it." I said helplessly
"No babe i will go get it you just relax..i'll be back before you know it."
"Okay thank you please hurry i dont want to be alone"
"I will its an in and out thing okay? bye babe"
"Bye Ni" and like that he was out the door.
I started to think about how Im going to tell Ni that i dont want to go back to London and that i might not have time for a relationship while Im trying to get back on my feet. Im scared because i think i love him but he doesnt love me like i do. At the concert...those were just lyrics.
Well i started to to cry and thought about mt mom and her suicide ..I thought what would happen if i didnt exsist what would happen if i just took a bottle of pills and just fell "asleep"? I couldnt take anymore so i went in the kitchen broke a glass cup and got a piece of the glass..
One cut..two cut..three cut ..i was about to cut again then i thought about Ni and how he doesnt want me to do this anymore. So i stopped there but I'll tell you this!!! I wanted to keep cutting so bad.It took a lot of guts to stop.
I sighed aand just settled on my couch and before i knew it i cryed myself to sleep.
*NIALLS POV*
I got to the hotel but the whole way i couldnt stop thinking about Mya and how scared i was to leave her alone..
"Hi sir is there any mail for Mya Foster?"
"Hello Mr.Horan yes there is mail for her, here you go" He handed me the mail and it was the letter i was expecting
I let out a deep sigh preparing myself to hold Mys while she cries.
I checked the time and it was 1am so i rushed to Myas apartment.
I remembered Mya had given me a spare key so i could get in and i unlocked the door to fimd broken glass on the kitchen floor and to find Mya passed out on the couch.
I saw blood on the floor and when i saw that i put the pieces together.
so i ran to Myas side and layed down with her and just held her in my arms..I picked up her wrists and saw the newly fresh cuts on her wrist..I started to cry..How can she do this to herself i-i-i love her! But im sure she doesnt feel the same! Tomarrow im going to ask her if she wants to go back to London with me. I need to tell hee i love her.
*Next Morning*
"Good Morning my beautiful princess" I woke her up with a soft kiss on her lips
"Good Morning Ni..when did yoi lay down with me?" She asked still with her eyes still closed but she got closer to me and cuddles with me
"I got here around 1:15am and saw the glass and your new....cuts So i layed down with you.."
"Im sorry Ni i couldnt take it! My mum and then me thinking that you dont love me like i love you..well i know you dont love me..i dont know what your atill doing here with a broken fucked up girl..."
I started to cry and i then kissed her roughly and i said "Mya you mean everything to me!! I do love you i dont want to lose you..I want you to go to London with me!!"
"Ni i cant go back with you! Steve will find me..I know what he said but im still afraid!"
I saw the fear in her eyes.
"Babe please i cant live without you I love tou and i would never hurt you!" I was crying still and she hugged me
"Ni please dont cry over me ..im not worth it please please Ni" she started to cry too
silence.
"Mya your worth everything to me!!!" I kissed her and layed down with her..We had a little make out session.
Then Mya said
"Ni can i go to London with you? And live with you?" she was shy to ask
"Yes Mya of course!!" I said with a smile
"On one condition!"
"Yes anything babe!"
"Dont ever leave me alone please! i-i-i know its a lot to aske for but i need to forget about everything!"
"Mya I know everything doesnt make sense right now but soon enough you will be able to be by yourself without hurting yourself..But for the mean time i wont leave you alone i promise!"
"Thanks Ni" i leaned in to kiss her once again.
*MYAS POV*
I cant believe that went well
i cant believe he saw my scars.I guess he really does love me and i do love him! His kiss was so soft and perfect! I was grabbing onto his hair and his hair was really soft and just right
Then i remembered about my moms letter and shot right up.
"Ni wheres the letter??" I knew i scared him once i saw the look on his face. Once he heard my question he relaxed.
"Its on the table i will go get it for you!" He walked off and gave me the letter
"Thanks babe"
"Are you sure you are ready for this?" He asked with a concerned face.
"Yes i need to do this because if i dont do it now i will never find the courage to." I just stared in to his sparkling blue eyes.Then i picked up the letter and. started to read..
"Dear Mya ..my sweet sweet Mya
I know your going to hate me for this but i cant handle getting abused by you dad anymore. I cant stand to see him touching you anymore and i can stand him abusing you anymore. Please forgive me for what Im about to do. I just needed to let you know that you are a beautiful young lady. Im sorry for ever telling you your a piece of shit or that your ugly and i didnt care about you.Im sorry ..Steve made me say all those hateful things.I really do care about you ..You are my only daughter and I would rathee die than you. I cant handle this anymore.Im doing this for the good of you.Me and steve had an argument the other day and it ended up with him saying if i wasnt there he would stop abusing you. So thats what i decided I decided to leave firever and not come back.If it meant that he would leave you alone forever then i would do what it takes. So baby please I love you with all my heart and i cant imagine my life without you but you know what i have to do this okay? I hope you understand...I LOVE YYOU WOTH ALL MY HEART GOODBYE MYA
LOVE,Your mum"
i felt the tears down my face and then Ni cane and hugged me and gave me kisses on my cheeks.
"Babe its going to be okay i promise!"
"Ni she knew.." i cpuld feel my voice rising "SHE KNEW THAT HE ABUSED ME SEXUALLY!!!"
"Mya please calm down! I promise everyrhing is going to be okay!!"
"Please just hold me.."
I leaned into his chest and and started to cry outragously!
"Mya Im here for you please stop crying!"
I just cryed louder and he hugged me as tight as he can!
The day went on..
I was just on the couch depressed and Ni never left my side
"Babes do you want some dinner?We could order chinese?"
"Umm sure thanks Ni you can gett some money out of my wallet on the table"
"Babe your crazy! You think Im gna let you pay???"
"Aww its okay Ni i can pay!"
"Nope" and we started laughing!
I finally felt i was somewhere i belonged..and thats with him
WEe ate dinner and we watched wipeout all night long Then we fell asleep in eachothers arms.
I was nervous of going back to my apartment..
Especially because as soom as i got home to my apartment i needed to talk to Ni about him going back to London and about whats going to happen to us...
"Oh shit!!!" i yelled loid enough for Ni to worry
"What what happened??" He asked worridly
"The letter!! I told Steve to mail the letter to your hotel.I need to go get it." I said helplessly
"No babe i will go get it you just relax..i'll be back before you know it."
"Okay thank you please hurry i dont want to be alone"
"I will its an in and out thing okay? bye babe"
"Bye Ni" and like that he was out the door.
I started to think about how Im going to tell Ni that i dont want to go back to London and that i might not have time for a relationship while Im trying to get back on my feet. Im scared because i think i love him but he doesnt love me like i do. At the concert...those were just lyrics.
Well i started to to cry and thought about mt mom and her suicide ..I thought what would happen if i didnt exsist what would happen if i just took a bottle of pills and just fell "asleep"? I couldnt take anymore so i went in the kitchen broke a glass cup and got a piece of the glass..
One cut..two cut..three cut ..i was about to cut again then i thought about Ni and how he doesnt want me to do this anymore. So i stopped there but I'll tell you this!!! I wanted to keep cutting so bad.It took a lot of guts to stop.
I sighed aand just settled on my couch and before i knew it i cryed myself to sleep.
*NIALLS POV*
I got to the hotel but the whole way i couldnt stop thinking about Mya and how scared i was to leave her alone..
"Hi sir is there any mail for Mya Foster?"
"Hello Mr.Horan yes there is mail for her, here you go" He handed me the mail and it was the letter i was expecting
I let out a deep sigh preparing myself to hold Mys while she cries.
I checked the time and it was 1am so i rushed to Myas apartment.
I remembered Mya had given me a spare key so i could get in and i unlocked the door to fimd broken glass on the kitchen floor and to find Mya passed out on the couch.
I saw blood on the floor and when i saw that i put the pieces together.
so i ran to Myas side and layed down with her and just held her in my arms..I picked up her wrists and saw the newly fresh cuts on her wrist..I started to cry..How can she do this to herself i-i-i love her! But im sure she doesnt feel the same! Tomarrow im going to ask her if she wants to go back to London with me. I need to tell hee i love her.
*Next Morning*
"Good Morning my beautiful princess" I woke her up with a soft kiss on her lips
"Good Morning Ni..when did yoi lay down with me?" She asked still with her eyes still closed but she got closer to me and cuddles with me
"I got here around 1:15am and saw the glass and your new....cuts So i layed down with you.."
"Im sorry Ni i couldnt take it! My mum and then me thinking that you dont love me like i love you..well i know you dont love me..i dont know what your atill doing here with a broken fucked up girl..."
I started to cry and i then kissed her roughly and i said "Mya you mean everything to me!! I do love you i dont want to lose you..I want you to go to London with me!!"
"Ni i cant go back with you! Steve will find me..I know what he said but im still afraid!"
I saw the fear in her eyes.
"Babe please i cant live without you I love tou and i would never hurt you!" I was crying still and she hugged me
"Ni please dont cry over me ..im not worth it please please Ni" she started to cry too
silence.
"Mya your worth everything to me!!!" I kissed her and layed down with her..We had a little make out session.
Then Mya said
"Ni can i go to London with you? And live with you?" she was shy to ask
"Yes Mya of course!!" I said with a smile
"On one condition!"
"Yes anything babe!"
"Dont ever leave me alone please! i-i-i know its a lot to aske for but i need to forget about everything!"
"Mya I know everything doesnt make sense right now but soon enough you will be able to be by yourself without hurting yourself..But for the mean time i wont leave you alone i promise!"
"Thanks Ni" i leaned in to kiss her once again.
*MYAS POV*
I cant believe that went well
i cant believe he saw my scars.I guess he really does love me and i do love him! His kiss was so soft and perfect! I was grabbing onto his hair and his hair was really soft and just right
Then i remembered about my moms letter and shot right up.
"Ni wheres the letter??" I knew i scared him once i saw the look on his face. Once he heard my question he relaxed.
"Its on the table i will go get it for you!" He walked off and gave me the letter
"Thanks babe"
"Are you sure you are ready for this?" He asked with a concerned face.
"Yes i need to do this because if i dont do it now i will never find the courage to." I just stared in to his sparkling blue eyes.Then i picked up the letter and. started to read..
"Dear Mya ..my sweet sweet Mya
I know your going to hate me for this but i cant handle getting abused by you dad anymore. I cant stand to see him touching you anymore and i can stand him abusing you anymore. Please forgive me for what Im about to do. I just needed to let you know that you are a beautiful young lady. Im sorry for ever telling you your a piece of shit or that your ugly and i didnt care about you.Im sorry ..Steve made me say all those hateful things.I really do care about you ..You are my only daughter and I would rathee die than you. I cant handle this anymore.Im doing this for the good of you.Me and steve had an argument the other day and it ended up with him saying if i wasnt there he would stop abusing you. So thats what i decided I decided to leave firever and not come back.If it meant that he would leave you alone forever then i would do what it takes. So baby please I love you with all my heart and i cant imagine my life without you but you know what i have to do this okay? I hope you understand...I LOVE YYOU WOTH ALL MY HEART GOODBYE MYA
LOVE,Your mum"
i felt the tears down my face and then Ni cane and hugged me and gave me kisses on my cheeks.
"Babe its going to be okay i promise!"
"Ni she knew.." i cpuld feel my voice rising "SHE KNEW THAT HE ABUSED ME SEXUALLY!!!"
"Mya please calm down! I promise everyrhing is going to be okay!!"
"Please just hold me.."
I leaned into his chest and and started to cry outragously!
"Mya Im here for you please stop crying!"
I just cryed louder and he hugged me as tight as he can!
The day went on..
I was just on the couch depressed and Ni never left my side
"Babes do you want some dinner?We could order chinese?"
"Umm sure thanks Ni you can gett some money out of my wallet on the table"
"Babe your crazy! You think Im gna let you pay???"
"Aww its okay Ni i can pay!"
"Nope" and we started laughing!
I finally felt i was somewhere i belonged..and thats with him
WEe ate dinner and we watched wipeout all night long Then we fell asleep in eachothers arms.
12/2/13