~Louis~

Hours later, Maci has downed many glasses of tequila. I drink along with her, but barely enough to intoxicate my brain and trash my sanity. She hasn't said a word. Her only words are ones that aren't said, and ones that demand another round of the evil substance. Against my better judgement, I fulfill her wishes and always fill up the glass.

There are many times that I have tried to describe her face, but it's simply unexplainable. Words can't define the shape of her face, the way shadows cast across the complex features, the way her cheekbones seem to become more defined when she sleeps, and the way her eyes relay everything she feels in that moment. Her hazel eyes changed entirely, taking a dark sinister green shade. I reach out to touch her cheek, but she turns her head sharply - away from me.

I retreat, stung immensely by the rejection, but still don't think for a minute about myself - only her. "I am a grenade. I'm only going to blow soon and leave destruction and despair in my path. I don't want to leave you behind with only a beating heart but not a heart. Call me narcissistic, but all we have done is show our obvious infatuation and need for each other; you couldn't live without me." I must be insane, for I don't take any offense to her statement as one normally would. I do not feel that she is on a high ride, or complimenting herself while slaughtering my pride. She is only telling me what I already know.

"I don't believe in soul mates, but I do believe in the ones who fill the missing parts," She continued. "I am many things, but I am not the soothing type who can ease one's mind with a few simple words - like you can. I am not a positive person, I tend to dwell on the things that go wrong in my life and the things that have let me down. Whereas you motivate me to forget those things and focus on the bright things in my life - which is always you." A silence settled in, this time thicker. I got a panicky feeling, like she was slowly sinking back into her own oblivion, a place that keeps her from me. But she plowed right on once more. "Sounds quite similar, now that I have verbalized my jumbled thoughts, but there is a distinct difference between having your other half and a soul mate. To me, soul mates are so…intense. Why intensify something so simple? Without you, life would be duller, but it would go on. Quite lonely, but it would float on as it would for anyone.

"But the point is, don't dig yourself deeper into this rabbit hole - it's not going to lead you to Wonderland. It may seem ludicrous to end things where they are, but with time, you will forget my name and my face. And I will be long gone." She finishes, and finally turns to look at me.

My throat feels dry from both the excess alcohol I took in, and because she's doing it again - trying to tell me goodbye. I don't want to be angry, but I am. Too many times I have gone through this routine with her. Too many times I have felt like I was placed inside of a soap opera. But I still refuse to give up. That's the worst part of it all. I could walk away - I have had many opportunities. My pain and frustration is not her fault, but my own because I continue to peruse her. "What is this all about?" I manage to ask, though it sounds more gruff than intended.

"I'm dying," Maci stated.

I laughed loudly, mostly out of relief than anything. Perhaps the tequila is finally getting to her. "Well yes, darling, everyone is dying."

"No, Louis. I-I really am dying. Faster than others. I have been diagnosed with brain cancer."

Notes

Oh. My. God. It has been WAY too long!!! I am so sorry :( To make up for it, I have written another chapter, and it will be posted later on today. Pinky swear.

....Please don't hate me! This sucks, but it is also life. Not everybody get's to have the pleasure of happily ever after. Fate conspires. Shit happens. I am sorry.

The song for this chapter is "Heartfelt Lies" by Ron Pope.

I love you, and thank you to my loyal readers that didn't unsubscribe in my absence, and to the ones that have followed me from the beginning.

~M