I haven't left the house in exactly 48 hours in fear that Nate would be waiting for me. Nervously, I cracked open my front door and looked in every direction for him. I had to leave the house today because I had finally run out of my stock of Ramen Noodles, and I needed to eat. I had been calling in sick for the past few days, and I knew that my boss would start to question how much truth was in my words. But for now, all I could think of was avoiding Nate.

He was not the man he had led on. And I knew that now. Nate was..forceful. The enraged look in his eye still haunts me at night when I close my eyes. I fall apart completely at night at the thought of what I might've done with him, or what he would've made me do. I recall our times together and they come back to me in flashes. It's like a kaleidoscope of memories. I constantly beat myself up letting myself fall into his trap; the day he pulled the man at the bar off of me, the night we danced in his parking lot, when he sang "I'm a Little Teapot", the first time he kissed me, it was all a trick. It was an act to get me into bed. Nate took a weak girl in a fragile time and took advantage of her naiveness. It made me sick.

I let this happen. I allowed him into my life. I took the chance with yet another boy. Stupid, stupid, girl! When will I ever learn?! Men are scum, and men cannot be trusted. They will love you and care for you and then screw you over.

What do they get out of this? The pleasure of watching us crumble? The satisfaction that they won? The rush of feeling dominate? Was all that so important that they needed to fuck up someone else's life? Pretty pathetic, if you ask me.

I walked to the store since I had not bothered to fill my car up with gas; I was far too busy that day escaping Nate's wrath. I had a hoodie on and kept the hood up to cover my face. My most unflattering sweats covered my bottom half, but I wasn't too focused on that. I was wrapped up in my nerves, and let my panicked thoughts influence me. Every time someone walked past me, or a car horn honked, I flinched. I was frazzled, and completely anxious.

You're being ridiculous. You're fine! Nothing's going to hurt you, my subconscious soothed. For once, I listened and tried to focus on the calming thoughts. But my hair stood on end, goosebumps covered every inch of skin, and the feeling that someone was behind me kept me from believing that I was ok. I frantically looked around and turned around multiple times to search.

I reached the market finally, and noticed that my teeth were chattering despite the warm temperature outside. Sweat coated my pale skin from the heavy clothing I wore. I hurriedly ran through the aisles grabbing everything I would need. I threw five packs of Ramen into my basket along with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, a bag of crisps, a pack of water bottles, and a new book. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a man in a red sweatshirt who was curiously interested in a bag of pretzels. I tried to ignore his presence, telling myself it was nothing, and practically ran to the cashier.

We traded money for the items, and I was soon on my way again. I did not calm down, though I was relieved to get out of there. On my stroll home, a familiar flash of red caught my attention, and I stopped on the spot. I hadn't realized a man was walking behind me, but he muttered an angry complaint at my abruptness. I mumbled a sorry before scanning the area for that red hoodie. Something didn't feel right in the slightest.

The startling encounter caused me to rush home even faster. My walking quickened, then soon turned to jogging, then soon turned into an all out sprint. My sides began to cramp up, so I stopped to catch my breath and to slow my heart beat. I was probably a good three minutes from my house if I walked. I set down my bags so I could stretch my arms a bit and loosen them up. Just as I was about to grab my bags, and hand clamped over my mouth and I just about pissed myself. On instinct I tried to jerk away from my attacker, but my small body was no match for their large one. I searched frantically for passerbys but the streets were empty and no one was around. My throat felt raw from all the screaming I was doing, but it was no use, for their hand muffled me completely.

Slowly, I felt them back up and lead me to the back of a nearby building. I still protested greatly, but my efforts were pointless, and to shut me up, the person roughly punched my side. I wailed from the pain, and sensed that I was dealing with a man based on the amount of force put into the punch. That, or I was dealing with a very strong woman.

My side throbbed, and hot tears formed. Harshly, I was shoved against a wall and the hard surface scraped my head on impact. I cringed, and shied away. But he held onto me.

"Thought you were going to get away so easily, did you now?" I heard him speak. My eyes widened at the voice and my worst nightmare became reality.

Nate.

His breath puffed against my face and all I could smell was alcohol. I scolded him even though this was a time of panic. He was drunk.

I watched as he carefully removed his hand from my face, testing to see if I'd scream. I waited for several seconds keeping eye contact with him, daring him to make a move. But he did not, so I played offense and screamed. Nate hastily clamped a hand over my mouth, hard enough to push my head farther into the brick behind me. He brought his knee up and pounded my stomach with it. My breath left me instantly, leaving me gagging. I looked up angrily at Nate and met his black eyes with my hazel ones. I spat in his face. He looked bewildered for a mere second before rushing to punish me. A hard fist was brought up to my jaw, and his knee returned to my side simultaneously. I not only felt my jaw go slack from the hard impact, but felt ribs splinter inside of me. I was in so much pain, and looked down horrified at my side.

"You will not scream. Understood?" Nate's harsh voice whispered against my cheek. I felt a sharp, cool blade being pressed into my skin. I kept unbelieving and clouded eyes trained on the weapon, and sucked in a breath when I watched it tear through the sweatshirt, and soon my skin. I nodded earnestly, hoping it would keep him from further destroying my flesh.

Much to my relief, he removed the blade, and I could feel his eyes on me. I refused to meet them and looked down at the ground. Soon the blade was once again brought to my flesh, but this time it was my face. He turned my face with the blade so that I was facing him. Nate smirked evilly and rotated it so that a smooth edge was on my cheek. Tears fell onto his hand causing his grin to grow. Slowly, he dragged it down the soft skin. My sore jaw trembled and I looked upwards to stop the tears. A pained moan sounded throughout the alley. It must've been mine because the edge pressed deeper.

I whimpered as he removed it, and reluctantly looked at this demon. He was not human. Only a demon sent from hell could do something this vile.

Looking both ways, Nate quickly threw the knife to the ground and unbuckled his belt, unzipped his pants, and shoved them down with one hand while the other pinned me to the wall. My eyes widened and were probably the size of golf balls when I realized his intention. This made the fire in me grow larger, and I kicked, hit, bit, anything I could possibly do. Nate didn't appreciate this. He growled, and hit the side of my face with a loud smack once again. My head flung to the side and ragged breaths came out of my mouth. But he didn't stop there. Soon, his fist came into contact with my stomach causing me to lurch forward in pain. I coughed and struggled for breath.

My vision became blurry, and I could only make out the shape of Nate's body. It only looked like a shadow in the middle of a hazy light. "Please," I pleaded miserably. He ignored my cry and busied himself to nibbling on my neck. I had grown weak and I could not find it in myself to protest, so I cried. I cried while the man I had believed to be good undressed me and took advantage of me. He was suckling, nibbling, biting, kissing every part of my body. I sobbed even harder and prayed to God for help. Anything, anyone to help.

My sweats and soon my panties were ripped off my body, and he harshly plunged fingers into me, giving me no time to prepare. I screeched from the pain which earned me a hard slap across the face. I threw my head back, not from ecstasy but so I didn't have to look at what was happening to me. I felt water droplets drop from the sky and I tried to pay attention to the wetness hitting my face rather than the sharp, stinging pain being produced. I watched droplets slide down the walls and watched them pool at my feet.

My eyes soon traveled to Nate who was trying to remove my hoodie. I did not assist him, and became dead weight. He grew frustrated with the piece of fabric that kept me safe, so Nate hit me mercilessly until I could no longer stand. My head spun, and black spots flickered in my vision. I slumped down, all my strength leaving me, and that gave Nate the perfect chance to remove the sweatshirt. I had not worn a tank top underneath, so all I had left to cover me was a bra. Seeing Nate stare at me hungrily made me sick to my stomach how hurting someone in the most horrifying way brought him pleasure, and I couldn't bare to let this continue. It was in my hands, not God's or anyone elses' but my own to stop this. "Help," I croaked. It was barely above a whisper, and my voice sounded like I had smoked a pack of cigarettes every day of my life. "Help," I tried again. My voice still refused to go louder. With all my might, I ignored my body's protests, and forced my vocal box to work. "Help!" I cried louder.

I anticipated what was coming next, so when Nate punched me again it didn't come as a surprise. "Help!" I pressed.

"Shut up!" Nate growled, slapping my face. I could no longer breath, or process my thoughts normally. They were jumbled and could only focus on the pain coursing through my body.

My earlier outburst pushed him over the edge, so he pushed his boxers down, and ripped open a silver package with his teeth, his black eyes never leaving mine. I chuckled dryly. So he was sober enough to make sure that no surprises sprung up after this horrible and dreadful night. My weary thoughts were interrupted when a terrorizing pain shot through me. He thrusted into me, and I screamed to the point where my voice cut off completely. I wailed, sobbed, and pleaded. He didn't stop even when I knew he was done. Nate pressed harder and harder against me whilst his callused hands gripped my hips a little too firmly. I could practically feel the growing bruise and see the purple-blue spot cover what was once pale. My arms were still firmly held above me, so I couldn't grip anything to get me through the unbearable pain.

I tried to hard not to fall apart underneath him, but our bodies naturally let go when we reach a climax. So when I did finally come, Nate seemed satisfied.

Nate pulled out of me, and you'd assume that he'd had enough. I sure as hell did. But no, he took my sagging head and lifted it up to look at him. His eyes roamed my tear stained faced while my eyelids drooped. He slapped me to get my attention, and I snapped my eyes open. He roughly kissed my lips and I didn't resist. I sat there in his arms, lifeless, and exhausted while he tried to get more out of me. I was like an orange to him, squeezing, and pushing me so far to make sure that every drop of me was gone so that I was nothing more than an empty shell.

I did't realize that I was no longer standing up until the impact of the asphalt shook me. I was too broken to reposition myself. And just when I thought it was over, Nate kicked me hard in the stomach multiple times, causing me to double over. I coughed and rasped trying to allow breath into my body. I could not only feel, but hear my ribs crack further. For good measure, he spit on me, then left me naked, vulnerable, and on the brink of death.

My wounds, and my bruises had numbed out so it was only a buzzing sensation. Hot tears flowed out of my eyes and slid down my nose and onto the ground. I lay on my stomach with one cheek on the ground. I could feel myself slipping farther and farther away from my body so only my mind was there. No longer could I feel the pain that was stricken on my broken body.

I never imagined my death to be so gruesome and terrible. I pictured it where I'm an old woman, lying in bed with a man I spend forever with, and slowly passing. I pictured my kids, and their kids healthy and lively. I pictured my prince charming to be lying with me. And he waits until I go so that I do not have to suffer a day without him. But he follows me closely behind, and if there is a life after this, we live together blissfully forever.

But instead I pass behind an old building, naked and shivering from the cold. My body will no longer be the pale skin it once was, it will be blue and black. From the cold and from the bruises. Instead of my loved ones finding me, it will most likely be a homeless man wandering about. Soon the police will be called, and I will not be rushed to a hospital because people know I have gone long ago. My dad will receive a call late at night informing him that his daughter has been found dead in an alley from rape. My mum will be called as well, and she will cry. She will cry because she will know that her time with me was shortened. She will realize that she pushed me away and wasted precious time with her eldest daughter, and now she is gone forever.

I believe that a parent should never have to put their child in the ground, it should be the other way around. But my parents will dress in black along with many others I hold close to me. And they will sit in a church, and listen to people sob while they share a few words about me. Little do they know that I will sit with them, watching them grieve over my corpse, and watch as my body is placed into the ground.

"Maci," a voice coos. I see a beautiful face with a worried expression greet me, and that is when I know I am dead. Because he is far too beautiful to be human. He must be an angel. I smile warmly at him, and try to reach him. But before I do, I fall down into a pit of darkness, watching the beautiful face disappear slowly. "Maci…" I hear it speak before I finally lose all sight of him and become completely engulfed into the darkness.

"Louis," I whispered. I was unsure of how I knew the name of the angel, but the name slipped out of my mouth naturally and caused a weak smile to grow on my face. With that, my last breath was spent.

Notes

Oh my, sorry if that was utter crap, but I am in tears. It was so hard for me to write because a) I have never experienced this so I dunno how it feels.. and b) it's pretty damn emotional!

Again, sorry if it was unrealistic, I tried.

Feedback is always appreciated, I like to know how you wonderful people are feeling about the story.

I'm not sure when the next chapter will be posted, but that is soley up to you because I don't start writing or posting until I get a comment or two.

The song for this chapter is "Too Beautiful" by He is We (lovely band, btw)

Thanks for reading!

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