Harry paid for my taxi home that night. He was being extra protective, it was understandable but strange seeing as I'd only ever met him twice in my entire life. He even gave me a phone. It was a second-hand Nokia brick but it was only for calls and texts. Harry wanted me to call him if anything happened.

You know when you first wake up and there's those first few seconds of paradise where you feel all warm and you can't remember what happened last night or what your plans are for the day or any of your worries. I like those few seconds, I only wish that they lasted for my entire life. But of course, I soon was dragged into reality by the aches and bruises on my body, some from Jake, some from Harry. I was also woken up by my mum calling my name at the top of her lungs.
"Pippa! Jake's here"
This is the last thing I need right now. I bet he's being all nice to my mum and then as soon as we're alone he'll turn. For the second time in my life, I was scared of Jake. He'd gotten angry before, but he'd never actually done anything. Once or twice he'd gripped my arm too hard but later he'd always say he didn't know what came over him. He never meant it. It's like he becomes a different person. But now,which person will he be now? The Jake I like or...the other guy.
"Pippa, hurry up!" Mum called again. I made my way downstairs to see Jake in my lounge.
"Hey Pip" He forced a smile, it was clearly painful for him to do so because of the swelling on his cut lip and face. My mind raced back to the image of Harry punching Jake over and over and over. The anger in his eyes gave me chills. I knew Jake was only being civil because my mum was near.
"Hi"
"Can we go outside to talk? I need some fresh air" I didn't want to be alone with him
"I'd much rather stay in here"
"Please, Pippa"
"Pippa don't be so stubborn! He's your guest" My mother piped up, clearly eavesdropping on our conversation. I let out a loud sigh and nodded, following Jake out the front door.
"Pippa, I've been to see a doctor."
"What?"
"And about last night...I'm sorry"
"Finally"
"But this doctor, he said I've got something called Dissociative identity disorder"
"Okay" I don't know why he's telling me this.
"It means I've got two personalities, it explains why I get kinda angry sometimes" I rolled my eyes. Sometimes.
"Jake, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could blame everything we've ever done wrong on a mental illness"
"But I can't help it! Look I'm not asking you to forgive me I'm just asking you to understand"
"Okay. I understand, are we finished?"
"Don't leave me Pippa"
"Sorry, but I'm not up for getting hurt again, Jake" I began to walk inside my house and shut the door but Jake but he jammed his foot in the way.
"I'm scared, Pippa" Not sure how to react to this confession I said the first thing that came to my mind.
"Me too"
"Look, I'm not asking you to be my carer or take the blows when I turn into the other guy, I'm just asking you to help me through it. I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want it to get in the way of us"
"It already has."
"Please, Pippa." I bit my lip, I could get hurt if I let him back into my life. And what about Harry? But standing before me is this scared little boy, and I'm the only one who understands the nature of his problem.
"I'm here if you need me" I said quietly, opening the door fully.
"Thank you" He said gratefully, giving me a big hug. He hung onto me like a child to it's mother. It was weird. We stayed like this for a while. I say we but I wasn't really hugging him back, it was just him with his arms around me for what felt like an eternity.
"Bye" He finally said, turning away
"Bye" I was stunned. Jake suddenly turned around and before I could register what was happening his lips crashed into mine. I was so unprepared for this so I just sort of stood still. Again. He was kissing me but I was doing nothing back. I felt so bad but my head was all over the place. He finally pulled away.
"Bye" I repeated
"Yeah..." He was out of breath from sucking my face. He turned and left. Fuck.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I had arranged to meet Harry at 1:00 pm, just to hang out. My mum was going to some hotel with her friends for the weekend so I was going to be with Harry for the whole time. I was confused when a black Range Rover pulled up outside my houseand Harry came out of the driver's door. He can drive? How old is he?

"Hello" Harry smiled as he approached me
"Hey" I said, distant, more interested in his Range Rover. What if he's like 20-something? Or more! I could have had sex with a paedophile who looks really young.
"How have you been?" I knew what he was referring to
"Fine, I saw Jake earlier."
"What did he say? Did he hurt you?"
"No, it's fine. He apologised." I didn't think I should tell Harry about Jake's mental health problems. It's between him and me.
"If anything happens-"
"I know, Harry. Can we talk about something else?"
"Shit, sorry. Definitely. Err, let's watch a film"
"What one?"
"Something scary" Harry grinned
"Titanic!"
"That's not scary"
"But it has Leonardo Dicaprio in it" Harry raised his eyebrow at me.
"Pleeeaaaaasseeeeee"
"Ugh, fine"
"You're just scared you're gonna cry"
"I'm not!"
"It's okay to be sad Harry! Wittle baby" I pulled his cheek, earning a frown from Harry.
"That's it!" Harry said, attacking me with tickles. I squirmed about laughing and falling onto the sofa. I was kicking and thrashing in eruptions of laughter when Harry abruptly stopped. His face had gone hard, his jaw tensed.
"What's wrong?" Harry's finger was tracing a purple bruise on my arm.
"Did he do this to you?" His voice was low.
"Actually, I think you gave me that one" I bit my lip.
"What? Was I that rough?" I could see he was hurt
"It was nice"
"Oh my god I'm so sorry"
"Harry it's fine, I liked it" He paused, looking at the mark curiously
"Wow" He whispered. I laughed, he was like a child looking at a new toy
"Okay I need to pee" He finally said.
"Alright, don't be too long" He got up and I hit his bum playfully. He turned around and pretended to look shocked. Making me laugh.
"Wait, Harry - How old are you?"
"19 why how old are you?" His face looked worried all of a sudden "Shit, you're not 16 are you?"
"17"
"Oh, that's not too bad I guess. You look older"
"Are you saying I look like a granny?"
"Maybe..."
"I'll get you for that!"
"Wait wait wait I need to pee first!"
Harry had just gotten into the bathroom when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking nothing of it I opened the door to find no one was there. I looked left and right but could see no one. I was getting kind of creeped out to be honest. My eye caught sight of a small envelope on the floor. I opened it to find a note. Letters from a magazine had been cut out to make a message. Original. It read:
"Continue this and all involved will be hurt. Especially those whom you keep secrets from."


Several photographs of Harry and I on the night of Louis' party fell out. Whoever this was knew about Harry and I. And about my secrets. Fuck.