Sinning ⇼ Harry Styles
The order wheel spun around; creaking as the chef turned it. Tessa’s Cafe was exceptionally empty for lunch—only occupying a few guests, causing for dismal conversation to occupy the silence. Mr. and Mrs. Alderman, a usual elderly couple sat in a booth, giggling and sharing each other’s food. They gave me hope in a long lasting love, but made me weary of the idea that the same man would dare to stick with me for the rest of my life. An angry woman sat at a table by the window, shouting into her phone about God knows what, and scowled at me when I approached her to take her empty plates. A tired man was at the bar, trying to make ends meet with the little paycheck he’s received—ordering only coffee because it’s on the house and that’s all he can afford. He’s twisting the ring on his finger, running hands through his hair, and trying to pinpoint where he went wrong.
A family of three trying desperately to get their little girl to eat before heading back on the road. I had asked them where they were heading, only to find they were moving down the block—possibly becoming new regulars. And finally, a lad about my age sat at the other side of the coffee bar, faced away from me so I could only see the back of his curly head. He hadn’t been there long and was in need of a waitress. Whilst I made my way over to the bar, I recognized him immediately… Harry. As my eyes fell on the curly haired beauty, my mouth went dry; my heart raising to my throat; causing me to become speechless. I took a deep breath and recited my typical speech.
“Hi, welcome to Tessa’s. My name is Eva, and I’ll be your waitress this evening. Can I-uh start you off with something to drink?” My gaze travelled to my notepad for reassurance.
“Do you have beer?” He asked, earning a confused look from me.
“We don’t serve alcohol until five,” I mumbled, watching as he glanced at his watch then back at me. His eyes were dull and impatient, leading me to believe he didn’t recognize me.
“Can you make an exception?” He asked. “For me?” A bright, wide smile focused on his face, dimples stamped in his cheeks.
“Um… I-I-” He cut me off.
“How about it, dove?” He asked smiling, as if he read my mind and wanted to tell me that he did remember me. “Can I get a beer?” I melted at his bright green eyes staring intently into mine. His calm breathing and perfect smile forced me to nod numbly.
“I’ll see what I can do,” I whispered, retreating to the kitchen to get him the beverage. As I returned to the bar, Harry was throwing his coat on; his eyes beaming into me.
“I’ve got to go. Sorry about that, Dove,” He smiled, handing me a tenner. “Keep the change,” He winked before exiting the cafe.
“Eva!” Roxanne sung as I entered her flat. “I’ve got a present for you!” She exclaimed, holding up a plastic bag with a satisfied smirk.
“Why?” I asked slowly, worried about her motives.
“We’re going to a club tonight! I thought you’d just want to feel a bit… Sexy!” She smiled widely; despite my deep frown, and shoved the bag into my arms before she resumed tidying up her flat in case Louis came over afterwards. She turned to me. “Oh, and you’re not wearing that,” She looked at my body up and down.
I cautiously glanced at her outfit: A tight, curve hugging black dress with the top cut extremely low. Her curled hair, red lips, high heels, and dark makeup made me wish I cared more about my appearance. She looked amazing. I wondered if I’d look as good as she does if I tried. I glanced down at my pathetic, baggy, maroon sweater, my hair in a loose bun, and my makeup-free face, like usual. My cross hung low, occupied with another necklace, and my Toms made me much shorter than usual when I was compared to Rox.
“Why not?” I asked timidly. “I think it’s modest,” She chuckled.
“Yes, it’s very modest. But clubs aren’t the place to be modest. You’ll thank me for this,” She grabbed my hand and pulled me to her closet. “Aren’t you glad you have the coolest best friend ever, who just so happens to be the same size as you?” She winked, fishing through clothes until she found a pale pink dress and grabbed a pair of heels, smiling widely and shoving it into my arms. “Put that on along with your gift,” She scrunched her nose, causing me to fear what was inside the bag.
I slid on the pale spaghetti strap dress along with the lingerie Roxanne granted me and met her in her room. She smiled brightly.
“You look so hot!” She exclaimed. “Now, let me just…” Her voice trailed off while she fingered through my hair before deciding to pull it half-back with a bow. She, then, skillfully drew eyeliner on me and put a light shade of lip gloss on my full lips, forcing me to paint my nails in the process. “Gosh, you look perfect!” She encouraged, grabbing my hand and standing me up. She was still much taller than me. “Just one more thing,” She mumbled, reaching around my neck and unclasped my cross.
“Rox, I-I can’t-” I argued. To my dismay, she threw it on her nightstand.
“Shhh,” She whispered, handing me a ring, bracelet, and earrings of the same hue. “And for good luck,” She added, once I had finished placing the jewelry on my body. She reached around my neck once more, placing a necklace on and turning me to the mirror, smiling at my reflection and the work she’d done. My makeup was light and natural, and I was thankful that my dress wasn’t tight like hers. “We’re ready!” She chirped.
“I can’t wear this, it’s your favorite,” She smiled lightly, an obviously fake one.
“I trust you to keep it safe,” She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of her flat, to her 1997 Red Camaro. I fiddled with the necklace in the car, knowing how much it meant to her. It was the last thing her father gave her before he passed away. I’ve never been able to touch it… Let alone wear it. And I had a feeling why she made an exception tonight.
“I think tonight’s the night,” She advised, smiling lightly.
“No, I-I can’t,” I protested, knowing fairly well what she was cluing in on.
“I’m not talking about popping the cherry, Eva. I’m talking about kissing. Could you at least try? It’s kind of weird for a girl—going on twenty one—to have never kissed anyone,” I sighed, shrugging glumly. “Do you have anyone in mind?” She asked with hope, only to be let down when I replied with a mere no. “That’s alright, you’ll know when he comes along,” She said optimistically.
“Is Harry going?” I asked without thinking, Roxanne raised an eyebrow.
“He might…” Her voice trailed off. “Why?” She inquired.
“I was just… Wondering,” I lied.
If anyone was going to take my first kiss, I think I want it to be him. Roxanne said I’d know… And I know that someone whose lips were so full and brash would do wonders… At least I think they would. For a brief second, I thought about what his lips would feel like on mine. They must feel as ravishing as they look, as fearless as they speak.
“We’re here,” Roxanne snapped me out of my thoughts as she parked on the side of the street and pulled me into a small building. I would have immediately gotten lost if she didn’t hold my hand tightly. It was yet another abandoned building that Roxanne’s friends took the liberty of infiltrating and using as a hang out.
I sat at a table with Roxanne, Louis, and a few of the people from the group that we stood by at the match as they silently passed around a joint. Roxanne handed it to Liam, who took a drag and tried to put it in my mouth. As I turned my head, Rox pushed his hand away and had a drag.
“Eva, um, why don’t you go get a beer or something?” She asked with a cough, taking the beer I had and downed it in one chug. I knew it wasn’t a suggestion, but an order. So I unconsciously stood and struggled to get through the large group and to the bar. I knew it was just an excuse to get me away from the group for a bit, but I didn’t mind. I didn’t want to be there anyways. I didn’t find any interest in the dirty things they spoke about.
“Hey baby, where are you going?” A voice asked, pulling my defenseless body roughly against his. “Stay with me for a bit, yeah?” The stranger asked, attempting to run his hand up my skirt.
“Stop,” I whispered, pushing his hand away. It had no effect; he still dug his fingers into my waist and pushed me to a wall. “Stop,” I said a bit louder, turning my head as he tried to kiss me. I smelt alcohol on his breath. He grabbed my hair, trying to force his lips on mine. “Stop it!” I nearly yelled; although, the music was so loud it had no effect. His lips inched closer before a hand laid on his shoulder, roughly pulling him away.
“She said stop,” Harry growled, pushing him away and weaving me through he crowd, past my now-empty table, and to the hallway where the bathrooms were.
“What was it?” He asked. “Ava?” I shook my head, looking at the dirty floor.
“Eva,” I whispered, ashamed that I was here. His fingers found my chin, pulling it up to meet his eyes and staring at me.
“Eva,” He repeated. “Eva, Eva, Eva,” He whispered. “At more places where you don’t belong. When will you learn, dove?” He asked, all traces of humor gone.
“I-I-Um… Roxanne made me come,” He nodded slowly, the corners of his lips folding up.
“I assumed. You two seem connected at the hip. I don’t understand it one bit,” A large body rushed past me, pushing me into Harry’s arms once again; his gaze darkened as his large hand found its way to the small of my back. “She’s everything you’re not,” He admitted honestly.
It’s true. Roxanne is beautiful, funny, fearless… and, well… I’m me. My grey eyes met his sparkling green ones.
“I-I know,” I whispered with shame, my eyes finding the floor once again.
“But, hey—You’re pretty cute, dove,” Cute. That’s all I’ve ever been. My bottom lip was taken in by my teeth. His hand travelled to my chin as he tugged at it, causing me to release my bottom lip. His other arm still snaked around my waist, holding me close to him. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I fist laid eyes on you,” He spoke honestly, a bold cocky tone hidden in his voice. “And now that I’ve caught you in another place you don’t belong, I feel it’s a nice compromise for me not being angry,” He pushed my body against the wall, trapping it with his, chuckling as I gasped at his movement. “Don’t you agree?” He asked darkly, staring down at me. All I could think about was the sharp mint scent that emitted when he spoke and his cologne sent my head spinning
I knew mama would get angry, she’d yell at me… Possibly hit me, but I just couldn’t help myself. This beautiful, fit boy wants to kiss me. No (sober) boy has ever wanted to kiss me before, and I kind of like it. I enjoy knowing he doesn’t find me so repulsive that his lips would never meet mine. I love knowing he wants to kiss me, that this feeling is mutual. That I’m not crazy.
“Seems fair,” I whispered, shocking the stunning man. He didn’t reply. Instead, he slowly leaned down to meet my short height and pressed his plump lips to mine. I know he’s done this a million times before, but it was so special to me. I know I’m just another girl, but he’s seemed to make me feel like I was so much more—Just in this one kiss. He’s so beautiful, so strong. The kind of man I have pictured myself with in my dreams… The kind of man mama hates.
But I didn’t care in that moment. I didn’t care about anything. I was kissing a magnificent man whose tongue was in my mouth. He was being so patient with my lack of experience and allowed me to catch up before moving onto another, heated step, pushing his body further into mine as he waited. I understand, now, why Roxanne loves doing things like this so much. Why she’s chosen to live the lifestyle she has. I feel pretty… Wanted… Needed. I don’t care if this is lustful or that the bible declares lust as the deadliest sin, I was enjoying myself for the first time in my life.
All too soon, he pulled his lips from mine, smiling gently with wild eyes and an unruly smirk placed on his face.
“You’ve never done this before. I can tell. You’ve never kissed a boy. Have you?” His eyes darted to mine, causing my face to burn as I shook my head. “It’s okay, dove. I’ll show you how it’s done,” He growled, pressing his full lips to my neck, sucking roughly. I bit my lip, holding in a gasp and closing my eyes as my breathing fastened. He pushed my blonde hair to the side and crooked my neck to give himself more access. Cupping my backside, he bit the sore spot, forcing a moan to leave my lips as he pulled away and admired his work.
Roxanne had told me about these. She named them Love Bites and informed me that they were just broken blood vessels, risen in the skin to leave a bruise. She told me how her mum went ballistic when she came home with one and how she had hidden future ones with hair, clothes, and makeup. I bit my lip, staring at Harry through my eyelashes. He was a good head or two taller than me (not to mention, much stronger), making it easy for him to take advantage of me if he so chose to.
“I have to go, dove,” He said, grinning with dark eyes. “But I’ll take your number and be on my way,” He handed his phone to me. With shaky fingers, I typed my number in the contact app and returned it to him. He picked up my hand, leaving a light kiss on my knuckles. “We’re going to have a lot of fun together, pretty girl,” He smiled before disappearing into the crowd and left me on my own to find Roxanne.