Three years later
Da- what?
Holy shit! What do I do? I sat up in my bed and snatched my phone sliding the Luttle message box across.
I am fucked up Skylar, I don't know how else to say it. I would be a man if I fucked up once, but I'm just a straight fuck up because I did it twice. I screwed up things with you, Your family, my best mates. But most of all m son. My three year old son basically told me to fuck off. I'm not only the worst mate, and boyfriend but I'm the worlds worst known father! And worse? The paps caught the whole thing. They caught my son telling me off to replay over and over for the red of my fucked up life. I'm not going to ask you for a second chance because I already used that up. But I want to fix things with my son. I want to be a father I want to help I want to be there. I want to apologize to you because you dint do a god damned thing to deserve this. And your right Victoria is a bitch. I also want you to know that I will probably always love you and if you can find a way to allow me to love you and you love me I will always be here. Please though, no matter what let me see Alex? I love him. I want to take care of him, coach whatever team he wants to be on, talk to him about his first time asking a girl out, tell him, (yes I know ironic) how to treat a girl with respect always. I want to be the father that Is there and he feels like he can go to for anything. I want to support both of you, but if you don want me too ATLEAST half of his bills. I want to be the family that you dream of but I will take whatever you'll give because I don't deserve any of it. I love you Skylar. I really do. Good night love, please consider this. And please tell the boys not to kill me.
"Ughhhh!!!!" Why does he you with me? I tossed my covers back and hopped up leaving my phone on my bed. I was never going to sleep. I grabbed my jacket and my keys leaving a short note to my mom and grabbed my phone. Jogging out to the car and speeding off. I turned my radio all the way up and rolled the windows down singing at the top of my lungs earning looks and glared and smile from tired truck drivers and busy soccer moms. Most of the moms glared but one just rolled all of hers down and her six kids and her tuned their radio to the same station and we drove side by side laughing and singing. We drove this way for about 10 minutes before pulling into a little run down looking restrnant. She looked to be 28 or so and she had six kids! I pulled up next to her and jumpe out only to see her have the oldest kid jump out and he could of only been 11 soon followed by a what looked like, 9 year old, then 8, 7, 5, and she picked up a baby car seat with a little baby in it. I smiled and my heart fluttered thinking of Alex at this age she smile and i held the door open grabbing a booth pushing a table up to it and we all sat.
"Darling, you seemed to be crying and signing and laughing. Why?" I smiled softly to this gental spoken women and watched as she took her baby out.
"My sons father is being, pardon my French, quite an arse!" She laughed lightly at my statement.
"Honey, I have been married since we were 17. They are always arses! How old is your son?" I smiled an this and looked down.
"Yes but we aren't married, and he just came back into the picture a short time ago! And he's already causeing problems! And my son is three. My sweet boy who is stuck in it all." She nodded and looked down.
"I have been married for 10 years and have six children. We have fought and even when it seems as though they should realize they are far from right, you have to know they will almost never admit it and you'll have to spell it our for them. And sometimes weather you admit it publicly or not, they are right. It doesn't happen offen though."
"Unless cheating on me twice is right I think I'm correct," she frowned at my statement and nodded.
"Why did you go back to him?" She asked softly.
"He ended up in the hospital and when I heard I almost died thinkin of gown much I loved him and how much I wanted to be with him. Then so quick after we were getting along we were about to tell my son about him being his father and one of my brothers caught him at the mall kissing the same girl and well I've got four big brothers and lets just say I'm the only girl." He laughed and pointed to her children
" out of six children we have only one girl. Wish her luck!" I laughed and nodded caus I knew the boat she was goin to be in so soon. We continued to talk for three hours. I found out her name is Annabella and she lives three blocks away from my parents house and she was on the way to pick her husband up from the airport because he had been sent to Africa for work for seven months and he hasn't met Jessica, their daughter. He didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. She saw the time and started wrangling them into to the car and we exchanged numbers. Her oldest sons name is Jhonny who is indeed 10, Jason who's 8, jimmy who's 6, and Jamie who is 4, then ofcourse Jessica who is 7 weeks old today.
I saw a link Annabella had sent me and her mom had videoed the whole thing as her husband Alex came home from Africa. I cried and pulled up to Niall's house. I walked up to the door ringing the door bell still croon and willing my eyes only then did I see how many missed calls I had and texts and Facebook alerts and twitter and everything... And when I looked up I was crushed wind knocked outa me when Niall had me in a bone crushing hug. I cleared my throuht and he put me down. He looked like he had been crying. I looked behind him to see my entire family and the boys befor I was in the middle of Thai giant hug. I pulled away and looked at them all like they were nuts.
"Honey! You can't do that ever again!" My mom yelled her voice shrill. I shot her a questioning look.
"Skylar we have been trying to call you for like 9 hours!" Alex shouted at me. My eyes widened, opps...
"What's wrong with you? Are you trying to kill you old dad off this early?" He yelled and suddenly I was being shouted at from every direction. Until one little tell became present.
"Mommy! Grandmama cried! And papa walk a lot! And- and," he hugged me and and I picked him up tossin him up and catching him ticklin and hugging him. My baby! I gave him kisses and laughed with him. Soon they were all laughing until Niall asked if he could speak with me. I nodded slowly placing Alex down and turning so me and Niall were inside with Alex and everyone else was outside, I shit the door and walked toward the kitchen.
"Skylar," he said quietly I stopped for a moment before continuing to pour m self a glass of Dr. Pepper. "Skylar look at me," I stopped and turned but kept my eyes on the ground because I knew if I looked at him I would start crying. I watched as his feet approached me and felt his hand push my chin up. Shit. The tears spilled over and I was full on crying. He pulled me into him and hugged me. I buried my face into his chest. I pulled back a few minutes later.
"Why Niall? Why do you do this? Why wasn't I good enough? Why did you cheat on me? Why did you do I twice? " he looked pained and looked down.
"I'm sorry sky, I don't have a reason besides that I'm a fuxk up. "
"I will let you be apart of ALS life but I will NOT go out with you right now. I love you but i don't know if I can do it right now. I think it's best if I'm singal for the ttiem being and maybe later we can discuss everything else... I really love you Ni but I can't do it," he nodded solmonly and looked down, "Alexzander! Come in here please baby!" I yelled and heard a little giggle and little feet pitter patter toward the kitchen.
"Hi mommy!" I smiled and lifted him up kissing his cheek before placing him on the counter facing me and Niall,
"Baby?" He looked at me expectant, "you remember when you asked why you didn't have a dady like the other boys at daycare?" He nodded, and Niall's head shot up, "And I told you that some day maybe you could see him? Well do have a daddy and he wants to meet you too," Alex was jumping up and down and you could say so was Niall, "baby do you want to know who?" He nodded quickly, "baby, Niall is your daddy!" I smiled happily as m son jumped ino Niall's arms and he spun the slowly patting his head I watched as a tear slipped from Niall's eyes and Alex played with Niall's hair. I was about to step outside so they could have their moment when I felt to hands grab me and pull me into their hug. I laughed and Niall scooped me up with Al in my arms and. Spun us I laughed and he put us down.
"Mommy?" I looked to Alex, "can daddy night night my woom?" I laughed and looked I Niall who was begging woth his eyes. I nodded and they ran up the stairs their blonde hair flipping arond. I snapped a picture. I turned to see everyone I loved but those two looking trough the window. Wow. Snoopy much? item to give them the play by play...
I am fucked up Skylar, I don't know how else to say it. I would be a man if I fucked up once, but I'm just a straight fuck up because I did it twice. I screwed up things with you, Your family, my best mates. But most of all m son. My three year old son basically told me to fuck off. I'm not only the worst mate, and boyfriend but I'm the worlds worst known father! And worse? The paps caught the whole thing. They caught my son telling me off to replay over and over for the red of my fucked up life. I'm not going to ask you for a second chance because I already used that up. But I want to fix things with my son. I want to be a father I want to help I want to be there. I want to apologize to you because you dint do a god damned thing to deserve this. And your right Victoria is a bitch. I also want you to know that I will probably always love you and if you can find a way to allow me to love you and you love me I will always be here. Please though, no matter what let me see Alex? I love him. I want to take care of him, coach whatever team he wants to be on, talk to him about his first time asking a girl out, tell him, (yes I know ironic) how to treat a girl with respect always. I want to be the father that Is there and he feels like he can go to for anything. I want to support both of you, but if you don want me too ATLEAST half of his bills. I want to be the family that you dream of but I will take whatever you'll give because I don't deserve any of it. I love you Skylar. I really do. Good night love, please consider this. And please tell the boys not to kill me.
"Ughhhh!!!!" Why does he you with me? I tossed my covers back and hopped up leaving my phone on my bed. I was never going to sleep. I grabbed my jacket and my keys leaving a short note to my mom and grabbed my phone. Jogging out to the car and speeding off. I turned my radio all the way up and rolled the windows down singing at the top of my lungs earning looks and glared and smile from tired truck drivers and busy soccer moms. Most of the moms glared but one just rolled all of hers down and her six kids and her tuned their radio to the same station and we drove side by side laughing and singing. We drove this way for about 10 minutes before pulling into a little run down looking restrnant. She looked to be 28 or so and she had six kids! I pulled up next to her and jumpe out only to see her have the oldest kid jump out and he could of only been 11 soon followed by a what looked like, 9 year old, then 8, 7, 5, and she picked up a baby car seat with a little baby in it. I smiled and my heart fluttered thinking of Alex at this age she smile and i held the door open grabbing a booth pushing a table up to it and we all sat.
"Darling, you seemed to be crying and signing and laughing. Why?" I smiled softly to this gental spoken women and watched as she took her baby out.
"My sons father is being, pardon my French, quite an arse!" She laughed lightly at my statement.
"Honey, I have been married since we were 17. They are always arses! How old is your son?" I smiled an this and looked down.
"Yes but we aren't married, and he just came back into the picture a short time ago! And he's already causeing problems! And my son is three. My sweet boy who is stuck in it all." She nodded and looked down.
"I have been married for 10 years and have six children. We have fought and even when it seems as though they should realize they are far from right, you have to know they will almost never admit it and you'll have to spell it our for them. And sometimes weather you admit it publicly or not, they are right. It doesn't happen offen though."
"Unless cheating on me twice is right I think I'm correct," she frowned at my statement and nodded.
"Why did you go back to him?" She asked softly.
"He ended up in the hospital and when I heard I almost died thinkin of gown much I loved him and how much I wanted to be with him. Then so quick after we were getting along we were about to tell my son about him being his father and one of my brothers caught him at the mall kissing the same girl and well I've got four big brothers and lets just say I'm the only girl." He laughed and pointed to her children
" out of six children we have only one girl. Wish her luck!" I laughed and nodded caus I knew the boat she was goin to be in so soon. We continued to talk for three hours. I found out her name is Annabella and she lives three blocks away from my parents house and she was on the way to pick her husband up from the airport because he had been sent to Africa for work for seven months and he hasn't met Jessica, their daughter. He didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. She saw the time and started wrangling them into to the car and we exchanged numbers. Her oldest sons name is Jhonny who is indeed 10, Jason who's 8, jimmy who's 6, and Jamie who is 4, then ofcourse Jessica who is 7 weeks old today.
I saw a link Annabella had sent me and her mom had videoed the whole thing as her husband Alex came home from Africa. I cried and pulled up to Niall's house. I walked up to the door ringing the door bell still croon and willing my eyes only then did I see how many missed calls I had and texts and Facebook alerts and twitter and everything... And when I looked up I was crushed wind knocked outa me when Niall had me in a bone crushing hug. I cleared my throuht and he put me down. He looked like he had been crying. I looked behind him to see my entire family and the boys befor I was in the middle of Thai giant hug. I pulled away and looked at them all like they were nuts.
"Honey! You can't do that ever again!" My mom yelled her voice shrill. I shot her a questioning look.
"Skylar we have been trying to call you for like 9 hours!" Alex shouted at me. My eyes widened, opps...
"What's wrong with you? Are you trying to kill you old dad off this early?" He yelled and suddenly I was being shouted at from every direction. Until one little tell became present.
"Mommy! Grandmama cried! And papa walk a lot! And- and," he hugged me and and I picked him up tossin him up and catching him ticklin and hugging him. My baby! I gave him kisses and laughed with him. Soon they were all laughing until Niall asked if he could speak with me. I nodded slowly placing Alex down and turning so me and Niall were inside with Alex and everyone else was outside, I shit the door and walked toward the kitchen.
"Skylar," he said quietly I stopped for a moment before continuing to pour m self a glass of Dr. Pepper. "Skylar look at me," I stopped and turned but kept my eyes on the ground because I knew if I looked at him I would start crying. I watched as his feet approached me and felt his hand push my chin up. Shit. The tears spilled over and I was full on crying. He pulled me into him and hugged me. I buried my face into his chest. I pulled back a few minutes later.
"Why Niall? Why do you do this? Why wasn't I good enough? Why did you cheat on me? Why did you do I twice? " he looked pained and looked down.
"I'm sorry sky, I don't have a reason besides that I'm a fuxk up. "
"I will let you be apart of ALS life but I will NOT go out with you right now. I love you but i don't know if I can do it right now. I think it's best if I'm singal for the ttiem being and maybe later we can discuss everything else... I really love you Ni but I can't do it," he nodded solmonly and looked down, "Alexzander! Come in here please baby!" I yelled and heard a little giggle and little feet pitter patter toward the kitchen.
"Hi mommy!" I smiled and lifted him up kissing his cheek before placing him on the counter facing me and Niall,
"Baby?" He looked at me expectant, "you remember when you asked why you didn't have a dady like the other boys at daycare?" He nodded, and Niall's head shot up, "And I told you that some day maybe you could see him? Well do have a daddy and he wants to meet you too," Alex was jumping up and down and you could say so was Niall, "baby do you want to know who?" He nodded quickly, "baby, Niall is your daddy!" I smiled happily as m son jumped ino Niall's arms and he spun the slowly patting his head I watched as a tear slipped from Niall's eyes and Alex played with Niall's hair. I was about to step outside so they could have their moment when I felt to hands grab me and pull me into their hug. I laughed and Niall scooped me up with Al in my arms and. Spun us I laughed and he put us down.
"Mommy?" I looked to Alex, "can daddy night night my woom?" I laughed and looked I Niall who was begging woth his eyes. I nodded and they ran up the stairs their blonde hair flipping arond. I snapped a picture. I turned to see everyone I loved but those two looking trough the window. Wow. Snoopy much? item to give them the play by play...
Opps... I must not have been paying attention when I wrote that... And thank you! I'm glad people are still reading this! If you haven't would you mind voting? Thank you!!!
12/5/13