No.

Wait.

Stop.

What am I doing?

What was once a slight breeze begins to become pretty heavy winds. It’s feels ice cold as it hits my bare skin and face. Not that the clothes help much. I still have my eyes closed when I realize how much I really don’t want to do this. I can’t. I just can’t. And I shouldn’t. As badly as I want to, I know I shouldn’t. To be completely honest with myself, I know I don’t really want to. No one ever really wants to take their own life, I think. What they do want, however; is for their current life/situation to change.

Now that I’ve changed my mind, it’s probably a good idea to get down off of this edge. The wind has continued to become stronger and more frequent. I’ll probably end up getting sick after this. One can only hope…

I open my eyes. A necessary thing to do, but I quickly regret it. My eyes immediately drop and I begin to stare down at what was going to be my place of death just a few moments ago. That isn’t the problem. The problem is that I’m dizzy. Very dizzy. And the wind isn’t helping. I begin to lose balance so I quickly close my eyes to regain it. I do this a moment but grow anxious. I should probably try to gain some more of my balance back before trying to open my eyes again, but I’m impatient. I want to get off this edge and I want off now.

I open them once more and my balance is once again fine. All I have to do now is carefully put one foot back and then the other. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I slowly begin to pick my right foot up. Now just move it back over the other side of the edge and towards the seat…

“STOP!" The scream from behind me startles me and I lose my balance; which was made even worse by the strong wind. My foot slips. I begin to fall. Not towards the ground, towards the seat. I brace for impact but instead of hard concrete I come in contact with a pair of arms covered by a soft warm jacket.

Hurriedly I place both feet on the ground and spin around to see who had just caused me to fall. I was pretty sure who it was, and I was right. His curly hair was sprawled around from the wind and he seemed out of breath; like he had just ran.

“Harry! What on earth do you think you’re doing here!?" I asked flustered. Why would he even come up here? Did he know I might do something to harm myself? Maybe he doesn’t know…who am I kidding, of course he knows! Oh…how embarrassing!

He looked at me in bewilderment, “Me? What am I doing? What am I doing!? What were you doing!?" I stare down at me feet trying to come up with a lie. “You know this is trespassing, don’t you? You have no right to be here. In my house. Who do you think you are?" I tried to speak with an attitude but it wasn’t working well. I’m still shaken up by all that’s happened and you can hear it in my voice.

“Look, you might not be so happy that I’m here right now, but I am. And I’m sure deep down inside you are too. They’re not worth it, Megan. Those girls are snobby, spoiled, conceited, and think they’re better than everyone else. Funny thing is, deep down inside, they’re really just jealous. And scared. They want to be liked and accepted so badly that they put others down to feel better about themselves. How messed up is that?" he paused for a moment and looked down at the ground.

“Anyway…my point is; don’t put value in the things they say or do. One day, one day very soon, you won’t see them again. And all of that stuff they said won’t mean a thing because your life will be different. Better. Much better. Believe me Megan, there is much more to life than high school; and you really do want to stay around to find out just how much better it gets."

Tears begin to form in my eyes as I began to stare at Harry in a daze. I try to speak, but nothing will come out. “Megan…are you ok?" he asks as he begins to get closer to me. He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Megan?" he says once more. Still, I say nothing. I’m on the verge of breaking down but I refuse to do it. “I’m fine." I manage to say. But my voice is shaky. Very shaky. I can tell he isn’t buying it.

Silence. Neither of us say a word as I begin to stare deeply into his green eyes. He’s not saying a word, but his eyes are saying something. The way he’s looking at me…it seems like he…cares about me. Like he genuinely cares about me and is concerned for my well being. No one has ever looked at me like that before.

I swear I could look into his beautiful eyes all day. As I begin to think this, Harry suddenly puts both arms around me and pulls me close to him. And that is when I no longer have the strength to hold back my tears.

“It’s alright, Megan. Everything is going to be alright." he says as he strokes my back with one hand. I continued to sob hysterically as my grip on Harry began to tighten. I felt completely insane but I couldn’t stop. I’ve been holding in how I feel for so long I can’t stop now that I’ve let it out.

We stood there for what seemed like minutes when my crying finally slowed down. As soon as it stopped, I felt completely and utterly ridiculous. I let up on my grip a bit and moved my face from its previous spot on his shoulder. “Oh my gosh, your jacket. I cried all over it. I’m so sorry." I said as I began to wipe my eyes off with my sleeve. My make up was ruined and what little I had left was being wiped off with the sleeve. Harry chuckled and began to grin. “Its fine."

At this point he has his arms around my waste and our faces are inches apart. As soon as I realized this, I could feel my face becoming red. “Well, you should probably go home now. It’s getting late." I say as I quickly back away from him. “Actually, no. I don’t need to go home." he says as he takes his phone out from the pocket in his jeans. “And it’s only 3:45." My mind begins to race as I try to come up with a reason for him to not be here; but I can’t think of a good one.

“I bet your parents will be worried about you. You’ll get in trouble." I state matter-of-factly. “No, they won’t. I’ll just text my mom and let her know I’ll be at the library or something." His gaze on me turns into a look of amusement as I stared blankly with no response. “But…I mean…I’m sure you…what about…" Harry chuckled as he closed some of the space between us. He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket and tilts his head slightly to the left; he looks as if he is fascinated by how stupid I am acting. “You know, Megan… I’m starting to think that you’re trying to get rid of me."

A small half smile makes its way across my face as I reply, “Oh, really? And what was your first clue?" He laughed and closed some more space between us. His laughter stopped quite suddenly as he begins to look like he’s trying to be more serious. “Come on, Megan. I want you to put yourself in my shoes for a moment. After what just happened, do you really think I’m going to leave you? Leave you by yourself? And don’t try to tell me someone will be home soon. We both know that’s a lie. Please, just let me stay with you for a while."

My eyes lowered as I begin to take in what he said to me. Of course I wouldn’t leave. I couldn’t. But as much as I understood that, I can’t help but to feel like such a pity case. I know I shouldn’t look at it like that, but I can’t help it. It’s like I’m five and need a babysitter. The more I think about it, the more it makes me feel annoyed and stupid. I cross my arms in front of me as I look up.

His green eyes are staring into mine and I suddenly feel all of those emotions go away. As much as I despise the pity, I can’t help but feel like his pity is different. Not a pity that is acted out on based on a feeling of responsibility; but one based on true concern.

I like it. I like it a lot.

I roll my eyes. “Fine…fine…you can stay. But you’re out of here before my mom is home." His intense stare was then replaced with a wide smile. “Alright, you got a deal. Now come on! Let’s eat some dinner! I’m starving!" he says as he begins to excitedly walk back inside and down the stairs. I pause for a moment and look around at what has now become an almost night sky. It’s not quite twilight yet, but it’s getting there.

I look around and see that the birds are now gone. The wind has died down some, but it’s gotten colder now. I take in a deep breath of the ice cold air. I’m amazed at how quickly things changed in such a short amount of time. It doesn’t seem real, actually. It’s feels more like a dream. I can’t believe I was actually going to take my own life. I can’t believe someone went through such trouble to stop me. Even more so, I can’t believe Harry is in my house right now and wants to be here so much. I can’t believe I’m letting him. Oh my gosh, what am I doing? What is going on? I’m really not sure. Although, there is one thing I’m finding hard to deny.

I like it. I like it a lot.