Shattered

Sobered

It had been days since the incident and Louis was sure that Niall was avoiding him, there was no way the tiny little Irishmen could have contracted some mysterious illness that bound him to the bathroom after making such a revelation, and kept him away from the rest of the boys. He had to have changed his mind and was too embarrassed to tell Louis, because why in the bloody hell would anyone love someone like him? He couldn’t get Harry Styles to give him the time of day, no matter how hard he tried, and he always drowned his feelings on a bender.

He just thought that Niall liked all the shagging they done, but didn’t like him. He thought the blonde fancied someone else and was using Louis the same way Louis was using him. It was the way Niall would always look so far away, no matter what they were doing. His eyes would glaze over and he would get this look on his face like he was happy, but it was something private in his head that was making him that way.

He never guessed that it was himself the hot tempered blonde was thinking of. Just like he never guess that it mattered he always came to him when he was so blooming gassed. He didn’t mean for it to seem like he could only be with the smaller boy when he was lashed. He could definitely be with him while he was sober. Niall was fit, even if he was a littler shorter than Louis fancied, he made up for it with an exceptional bum and personality.

In their time apart all Louis could do was think of his mate and how he had been so blind to the others feelings. It was driving him nutty, thinking it over constantly and not being able to see the blonde to work it all out. Sure he still had feelings for Harry, but Niall’s feelings for him weren’t something that he could just overlook.

So imagine his dismay when he saw Liam sneaking Niall containers of HazelBrook Farms and no real food. That’s when he made his resolve to go and have a talk with the bloke who apparently fancied him so.

After triple checking that the coast was clear Louis grabbed his spare key to Niall’s and sneaked into the latter’s apartment. He was quiet, but not quite enough to not alert Niall that someone was in the flat. He could never seem to be good at surprising the blonde.

“I’m in the bath, Li,” Niall called sloshing the water around him. He wasn’t one much for baths, but Liam had suggested that he try to relax and Niall had seen enough films to know that was usually the way to do it. He had just gotten in.

Louis waited until he got to the door way before replying. “Right, I’ll tell Liam that later.” His voice was scratchy from the sight of the blonde. Even in the tub he looked like a wreck, even with the water washing away all his tears, even with the water washing away the ice cream matted in his hair, even with the water washing away his feelings.

“Louis? Louis my God what are you doing here? Are you sloshed again? Back for more? I can’t do this, not this time. Just go, leave me be. I just can’t..” The blonde trailed off.

Niall couldn’t bring himself to look at the brunette; he kept his eyes down cast the entire him he was speaking. He just swirled his rag at the surface of the water the length of his body, forcing himself not to feel.

“Ni, look at me. Or better yet listen to my voice. I’m perfectly straight,” Louis said as delicately as possible. He wanted to make it perfectly clear that he wasn’t bent.

Niall blinked his big blue eyes up at Louis and realized he was telling the truth. He spoke with a dry humorless voice, “Tomlinson you haven’t been straight since I met you. What’re you doing? I thought Liam told everyone I was sick?”

“Bullocks!” Louis couldn’t help but shout.

Niall flinched looking down again, dropping his rag. Niall had no illness, he was just lovesick and Louis had been the one to cause it. He was so lovesick he was a bloody mess.

“Did you come here to yell at me then?”

Louis swiped his hand over his face, much like Niall had days before, and tried to pull himself together. His plan had not gone off very well. It seemed like he was just making things worse. But he hadn’t a clue what he was doing. He didn’t know whether he was over Harry and ready to really be with Niall. He just knew he couldn’t handle going another day without seeing Niall’s clueless expression when he laughed or smiled for no reason.

“No, I came to talk to you. I should’ve come sooner, but I hadn’t got my feelings in order yet. Not that they are really in order now. I just, I had no idea, Ni. I’m so sorry.”

“Harry is just acting the maggot, he knows you like him. He doesn’t care. He fancies someone else,” Niall blurted. It was like word vomit, he couldn’t control himself before it all spewed out. Liam had told him some time ago, but he vowed not to breathe it to Louis because it could have ruined everything.

“What?” Louis stammered stumbling back like he had just been conked a good one. Niall just stared at him with truthful unrelenting blue eyes and it felt like his heart was sizzling.

Louis knew at that moment what he had been putting Niall through. The situation was slightly different, but the pain, the pain was the same. And he also knew in that moment that he had been making a mistake these past few months. He had fallen in love with the wrong boy.

Notes