Good For You
It was like taking a child into a candy store – her eyes roamed the room and she grinned happily at everything. It’s rustic, but yet classy design of the room always made me feel at home – I feel very welcomed here. Her face was struck with awe and amazement. I’m not even sure if she’s breathing, or blinking. “What do you think?” I ask in a mumble as I shut the door behind us. The room isn’t too big, but it’s not tiny either. She whirls around on her heel, her eyes gliding over everything in the room.
“This is so beautiful.” She breathes out as she runs her hand over the piano keys. “It’s my little secret.. I like to get away sometimes.” I say with a laugh as I sit down on the small dark leather couch. Jenny’s absolutely star struck by the room – I’ve never seen her this way before. Her jaws are widely parted, her eyes have gone huge, and her cheeks are flustered – well I’m used to her cheeks being that way, but this time it was out of happiness.
“I’ve seen you reading a few good books a few times.. so I figured I’d show my collection.” A smirk played on my lips as I propped my feet on the small coffee table in front of me. “It’s like your own little personal library. It’s wonderful.” Jenny replies as she steps over to one of the many wooden book shelves. “You’re welcomed up here anytime. Just don’t tell anyone about it.” I say in a light voice, I didn’t want to disturb her trance.
Her head turns and her eyes glue to me. “Are you serious?” She asks, quite surprised at my words. “Yeah..” I say with a nod, why would I lie to her? “I didn’t know you played the piano.” She says as she sits down on the stool. “Mmhm. I dabble here and there.” I respond with a small laugh, she’s so amazed by something so simple.
The thing is, though, I knew she’s love it. She’s one of those who really likes to read, I can just tell by looking at her. She’s so cute when she’s happy, I’m glad I got to see her this way. A sharp gasp leaves her mouth and she jumps up from the stool, her hand flying over her chest. “What is it?” I ask, standing up quickly. “The baby! What if she starts crying! I can’t hear her up here. Oh my god, Mr. Styles.” Jenny’s eyes shoot over to me and I can see the fear swept across her pretty face.
“Relax, honey.” I say as I sit back down on the couch. I reach over onto the small table and pick up the baby monitor. “I literally have them everywhere.” A sigh of relief leaves her mouth as she sees it, she’s such a good babysitter – her constant worrying is a good feature. “So.. have you read all of these books, Mr. Styles?” Jenny asks curiously, her back to me as she gazes at the many shelves packed with books.
I smirk gently at her use of that very professional name. “No, not even a third of them.” I say as I stand up, she’s so amazed by this room – I’m quite glad I showed it to her. “I never would have imagined you having a room like this.” She nervously laughs as I stand beside her, my eyes roaming over the many books on this first shelf. “Why do you say that?” I ask, raising my eyebrows to myself. “I don’t know.. you always seem so busy. I never thought you’d have time for something.. like this.” She says, throwing her hands in the air.
“I come up here when I can’t sleep.. Reading calms my nerves. Every now and then I’ll play a few notes.” I say, shrugging a shoulder lightly. She turns to face me, I watch her from the corner of my eye. Those big doe eyes are looking up at me. “What is it?” I ask, avoiding turning to see her, she drives me crazy and I’m trying my best to control myself. I slowly step away from her, pretending to be preoccupied looking at the books, when really I’m just letting my eyes trail over them with little interest.
“Never mind.. it’s.. too personal.” She says with a sigh. I stop myself from moving any further away from her. I turn my head to see her still standing in the same position, but now her eyes are on the floor. “Tell me.” I simply state. Her eyes dart to mine and I can see that they’re glistening with innocence. I roll my lips in, controlling myself around her is so damn hard – I don’t understand how I do it half of the time. “You said.. you never.. slept in the same.. bed.. as.. her.” Jenny reminds me, her eyebrows shooting up as she says her. “Yeah.” I nod lightly, not sure why this is on her mind. “Why’s.. why’s that?” She curiously questions, her eyes slowly removing themselves from staring into mine.
I turn back to the books, this time a little more into what I’m looking at. My mouth softly releases a huff, I hate talking about this – but for some reason it’s all I want to do right now, I feel like I can trust her.. like she’s actually listening to my issues. “Because.. she always slept with someone else.” I say coldly, the reminder of that is painful. A small gasp fills my ears and I can’t help but smile lightly at her reaction. She acts shocked by this.
“She usually brought someone home with her after her clubbing.” I start, there’s no stopping my rambling now that she’s begun this conversation with me. I reach for a book, curious to see what it holds inside. I open the dusty book and turn a few pages, my eyes scanning over the words just to get a glimpse of the content. “She uh.. we didn’t share a room anyways. I didn’t really care.. as long as they were gone by morning.” I admit to this young girl standing in shock just a few feet away from me. I close the book and slide it back in its place on the shelf.
My body leans against the wall, I hadn’t even realized I walked this far away from Jennifer until just now. My eyes glue to the carpet, I can’t believe I’m really spilling this all to this child in front of me. Stop, don’t call her that. I shake my head lightly to myself, all I ever do is argue with myself in my head. I’m losing my mind more and more as the days pass by.
“You never.. stopped her?” Jenny mumbles, slightly confused about what used to occur in this house. I raise my head enough so I could see her, those beautiful eyes staring at me from across the room. “No. I didn’t care.. it got her out of my hair.” I shrug a little, mostly to myself. I didn’t care one bit, never have and I never will. She glanced up to the ceiling, probably trying to find the energy to take this all in. “I thought.. when two people were in love.. they.. they-” She stops her sentence as I chuckle deeply – I didn’t even want to hear what she had to say. That shit was complete rubbish to me.
“We weren’t in love.” I shake my head from left to right a few times, I thought she understood that part already. I guess I was wrong. “I never loved that woman, I mean maybe just a tad.. only because she gave me my children. But other than that.. I hate her.” I don’t want this girl to think I was ever in any sort of love with that witch. “And besides.. it’s hard for a heartless person to love. She.. she didn’t care about anyone but herself.. that’s why she’s not here right now.” My body leans off the wall and I lazily walk back to the sofa.
I plop myself down on to it, the leather cold against my skin as I lean onto the arm of the couch. Jenny begins the short walk over to the chair diagonal to the couch. She sits down and politely crosses her legs. I look back at the floor, my lip caught between my teeth as my mind unfortunately begins to drift back to these years I spent with that woman under my roof. “Mr. Styles..” Jenny’s voice invades my mind, I mentally thank her for distracting me.
I look over in her direction to see her nervously sitting there, fiddling with her own fingers. “Hmm?” I raise my eyebrows lightly, telling her to go on and question me. There’s no telling what she’ll ask me, but I don’t really mind. I enjoy talking to her, I love to hear her voice speak to me. “I’m sorry for.. for being nosy.” She sighs out, slouching in the chair, her eyes roaming to the ceiling. “It’s fine, love.” I mumble loud enough for her to hear me. “It’s just.. I hate knowing she did that to you.. and I don’t understand how someone could just.. leave their kids behind.” Jenny states, her head softly shaking at the thought.
“I hate it too. She just.. didn’t care. All she wanted was hook ups and drugs. The best decision I made.. was when I told her to leave.” I reply, my eyes still gazing at her. “We can.. stop talking about it if.. if you want.” Jenny insists, a unsteady sigh leaving her mouth. “I’d hate to bore you to death with my sob stories.” I admit with a faint laugh. Those blue orbs lock with my eyes and she knits her eyebrows at me. “You don’t bore me.” She replies quietly. “How about you find you a nice book? We can relax up here for a while. Does that sound good with you?” I ask as I stand up, groaning lightly at a slight pain my back – shit, I really am getting old.
“Really? You.. you wouldn’t mind my presence, would you?” She asks, her lips curving to a smile. I roll my eyes at her, adding a smirk so she knows I don’t mean any harm by it. “Your presence calms my nerves, love.” I tell her as I walk over to a random book shelf, I’m in the mood for a good read at the moment. I kneel down to the bottom row, my eyes scanning over the titles. “Is there a certain shelf I need to choose from?” Jenny asks me, her voice getting closer as I hear her footsteps.
“Nonsense, pick whatever you like.” I say with a smile, even though she can’t see me. I hear her snicker at my response, she’s really cute. “Oh my gosh, The Help.” She squeaks suddenly, her voice echoing in the room. I jump lightly at the unexpected sound. “I’ve never read it.. but I’ve seen the movie.” She adds in, I can literally hear the smile tied in her tone. I glance over just in time to see her sit down on the couch, her hands rushing to get the book open and to the first page of words. I let out a mellow laugh.
“Mr. Styles.” Jenny’s voice calls out, I can sense the confusion in her tone. “Yes, love?” I ask as I stand up, I can’t find a good book at the moment. “I can’t stop thinking about something.” She groans out, throwing her head into her hands. I walk over to her, God I hope she’s not upset about something. I don’t know what I’ll do if I witness this girl crying. I sit down beside her, leaving an understandable amount of space between us, despite the small size of the sofa. “What’s bothering you, darlin’?” I ask in a soft voice, my hand gently touching against her thigh – I want to show her some comfort, but not much. I know she doesn’t really like it that much.
“Do you.. do you really wan’ me to move in with you?” She mumbles out, her voice slightly muffled by her hands. “Of course, I already told you this. Your help is greatly needed around here, and the kids love you. But it’s your decision.. I guess I can comprehend why wouldn’t want to.” I can hear how wobbly my voice is – my nerves are taking over my body again, at least it’s not anger this time. I never want to lash out like that on her again, never.
“Mr. Styles.. I really want to. I’m just.. nervous.” She confesses, her hands dropping from her face. She leans back on the couch, her eyes finding their way to the ceiling once again. “Jenny.. why are you nervous?” I can’t stop myself from wondering, I just want to take all her troubles away and just take care of her – sadly I can’t do that, as of now at least. “What if.. Gabriella and Charlie.. get the wrong impression from it? They’ve.. already thought a few things before.” She huffs out, shaking her head lightly to herself.
“I know.. I’ve heard a few things myself. What’ve they told you?” I ask, curious to know what my children speak about with this girl. “They.. they keep asking me.. if..” Jenny stops herself as if she’s ashamed to say it, I know exactly what she’s trying to tell me, and I know she’s nervous about it – I can literally feel how tense she is right now. “They always ask me.. if I’m going to make you their mother. They always ask if.. if it’s okay for them to.. to love you more than they did.. their mother.” I check a few of the things off the list – I purposely leave out the girlfriend stuff, Gabriella usually pulls that card on me.
“And don’t worry, love. I’m already spoke to them about it. They understand that you’re moving.. or might be moving in with us in order to help more. They’re both in love with the idea, I’ll tell you that.” I say with a soft laugh, just thinking about their reaction just makes me smile inside and out.
~ My bedroom is silent as I climb onto the mattress. Gabriella and Charlie both sit at the foot of the bed, their legs crossed and their eyes wide as they await our conversation. “I’m so excited.” Gabby mumbles to herself, those beautiful eyes just lighting up as I prepare myself for the speech. “Alright.. so I need to know how you guys feel about Jennifer uh.. Jenny.” I correct myself with a sigh. Charlie and Gabriella share a look for a few seconds before turning their heads back in my direction.
“What do you mean, Daddy?” Charlie asks, his eyebrows lowered as he obviously sits there confused by my question. “Like.. do you guys love her or do you not? Is she a good babysitter, does she treat you well, does she-” Before I could list anymore check points, Gabriella interrupts me. I don’t stop her though, I let them carry on with their answers. “Of course we love her, Daddy. She’s the best in the world, well besides you.” She says with a giggle.
“Yeah, I wish she could be our Mommy. Daddy.. can she?” Charlie blurts out, his eyes bright and full of hope. “Yeah, Daddy! Please.” Gabriella adds in, pressing her hands together as if she was about to pray. “Stop saying that, guys. I know you love her but.. that won’t happen.” I admit a tad harshly. They both frown lightly at my reply, slouching their shoulders as they release huffs.
“How about.. we ask her to move in with us? Would that make you guys feel better?” I suggest my idea to them. Gabriella’s head pops up and a smile creeps to her face. “Are you being for real, Daddy?” She questions me, her eyebrows raised high. “Yeah, you aren’t playin’ a game are you?” Charlie proceeds with their intense interrogation. “Yes I’m being for real.” I nod to them. Their eyes light up like Christmas lights as they quickly processed my words.
“Please ask her!” Gabriella says as she raises to her knees on the bed, slighting bouncing up and down in joy. “Please Daddy!” Charlie quickly follows his sister’s excitement. I can’t help but smile at them, they get so worked up over the simplest things – but I know this means a lot to them. It means an awful lot to me as well. “I’ll ask her.” ~
“Don’t get me wrong, Mr. Styles, I really want to.. I’m just so.. uncertain about the whole thing.” Jenny states, nervously picking at her fingernails. “I think it would be nice to have you around more often. It’s your decision.. just let me know before the day’s over.” I tell her with a smile as she glances over at me for a few seconds. “I’m not trying to pressure you into saying yes. Do whatever feels right.” I add in, her eyes dart to me once more.
God she’s beautiful.
“I want to.. I think.” She declares, her eyebrows knitted as she sits there slightly confused. She shakes her head from side to side lightly as her eyes drop to her lap once again, perhaps she’s thinking about it? Her head rises and she gives me a perky smile. “I’d love to.” Her final answer to my question relieves me. I let out a faint laugh, she’s going to drive me even crazier now. “We can come up with something to tell your parents.. You can keep the apartment, just in case things don’t work out for you.” I insist with a shrug, that was part of my idea anyways.
“My.. mom probably won’t find out about it. But.. thank you for willing to help me out with.. payments and all of that.” Jenny thanks me with a kind hearted smile. I’ve done it again – said parents. She’s told me in the past that her father was never in her life, but I always seem to forget until it’s too late.
“It’s my pleasure. Now, read your book.” I give her a wink, blush creeps onto her gorgeous face, making her features look even more innocent then they already are.
so if you didn't figure it out.. it's basically a private reading room / mini library. Lol. No Narnia behind that door! :( (btw that's my favorite movie of all time.)
Anywhooo.. So feedback? Excuse errors it's 3:20am right now and my eyes are barely opened. But updates soon of course! And I promise it's getting good.. ;)