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Letters To Lily

Chapter 2

I realized it was a little after 5am when I unlocked my phone and opened up Skype, preparing to call Lily. I didn’t really tell her I would Skype, but I know she won’t mind it one little bit. It was after 10pm for her though.
I turned the light on in my bunk so she will be able to see me. I smile gently to myself as I type in her name and press call. I plug in the ear buds, I didn’t want to wake any one with any unneeded noises.
It didn’t take long for her to answer the call. And once she did, her eyes lite up and that brought a smile to my face.
‘’Hey there beautiful.’’ I say with a wink.
‘’Hey.. You look tired.’’ She giggles gently.
‘’I am, but its okay. I’d do anything just to talk to you.’’ I tell her, getting a smile back in return.
‘’Where you headed to?’’ Lily asks.
‘’Belgium.’’ I sigh, wanting to be headed towards her instead, but I can’t because I don’t have her permission, and that means everything to me.
‘’Oh, well… I hope you enjoy it.’’ She says.
‘’I will, I guess. So, are going to bed soon?’’ I ask her.
‘’Not too soon, me and Allyn are going to watch some movie she rented.’’ She tells me.
‘’Oh, well don’t stay up too late, babe.’’ I say.
‘’I won’t.’’ She smiles a little at me.
‘’You’re so beautiful, you know that?’’ I ask as I stare at her amazing face. God, she makes me wish I was there so bad.
‘’I’m not beautiful.’’ She mumbles.
‘’Yes you are. You’re very beautiful. And I love that, because I love you.’’ I tell her.
‘’I know. But just because you think I am, doesn’t mean other people think I am.’’ Lily informs me.
‘’Babe, since when have you cared what other people thought about you? You’re the girl that told me to ignore what people say and carry on with your life. So why are you trying to think of what others think of you?’’ I ask her.
‘’Its just.. Beauty is different from rumors, Ni. I can’t ignore it if its true. I’m not beautiful to any one in the world.. except you.’’
“And that’s all that matters.’’
‘’Niall, can we.. talk about something.. else?’’ She asks me, sighing.
‘’Yeah babe. Anything you want.’’ I say.
‘’Okay.’’ She nods, but saying anything else.
‘’So.. do you think.. You can come see me.. in a few weeks.. when I get to America?’’ I ask, hoping she’ll actually discuss it with me this time.
‘’I dunno.’’ She shrugs lightly.
‘’Why not? Lily.. I haven’t seen you in almost six years. Six years, Lily. You’re going to be eighteen in July, and I want to be able to spend time with you. Baby, we’ve only been in person once… Once. And that’s too long. Lily, please. Just-‘’ She cuts me off suddenly.
‘’Just shut up!’’ She demands, her voice cracking.
I gulp, hoping she won’t end up crying like last time I mentioned this to her. But she doesn’t, thank God.
‘’Lily.. Please. Even Allyn wants you to come. She always tells you to when we’re on the phone with each other. I hear her. Babe, I want you to come be with me. The guys want to meet you again.’’ I tell her.
‘’Niall.. I don’t want to.’’
‘’Why the fuck not!’’ I yell out of on where.
I’m such a fucking idiot. She bites her lip, looking away from the screen of her phone.
‘’Lily.. I.. I’m sorry. I didn’t.. mean to.. yell to you..’’ I mumble.
She looks at the screen again, a few tears rolling down her perfect cheeks.
‘’Then why did you?’’ She asks me.
‘’I want you to realize how much I miss you. I want to see you again. I want to hold you, Lily. And kiss you. Oh God, you don’t know how much I want to kiss you. Lily, I miss you baby. I love you and if you really loved me then you’d agree with me and come with me. Its not fair.. every one else gets to spend time with the people they love, but I don’t.’’ I tell her, tears escaping my eyes too.
‘’Niall..’’ She sighs.
‘’Don’t Niall me. You always do that when you want to avoid something. And I’m sick of avoiding this, Lily.’’ I say truthfully.
‘’I’m sorry.’’ She whispers.
‘’Are you? Are you really? Are you sorry that you don’t have the courage to tell me why the hell you don’t want to come see me? Are you sorry because you don’t see the points I’m trying to make? Or are you just sorry because you’ve lost the love you once had for me?’’ I ask her, determined to get an answer this time.
‘’I do love you.. and you know I do. Its just.. I’m afraid you’ll think.. I’m.. ugly and stuff and you won’t love me the same way.’’ She says, crying her beautiful blue eyes out.
‘’Oh, baby. Don’t say I don’t love you. I love you with all my heart. You’re my entire world, my everything. I’d love you even if you hated me.’’ I assure her.
‘’Can I.. think about it?’’ she whispers to me.
‘’Yeah.. just promise me that you’ll be completely honest, okay?’’
‘’Okay. You need to go back to sleep for a few hours, Niall.’’ She insists.
‘’I know, I’m pretty tired as it is. But, I’ll call you around lunch time.’’ I say.
‘’My lunch time, or yours?’’
‘’Yours. 12 for you, like 7 or so for me.’’ I confirm the timing.
‘’Okay, I love you Ni.’’ She smiles gently.
‘’I love you too, Lily. Bye baby.’’ I smile back to her.
‘’Bye.’’
She ends the call, leaving me anxious.