End of the world - Comments, page 9

You have a good idea, but you need more details. I have also noticed you don't use commas, and I only saw 5 or more periods. If you don't use commas, nobody can tell where to pause. Plus, you have A LOT of run-on sentences. Also, everything is happening to quickly, to where it seems so fake! (I know it's fake, but I mean, you want people to really get involved with the book, to feel like they're actually there, and I'm not feeling it!) Here is some examples yount wrote about the going to quickly then. "Our show was interupted by the news telling us there is a disease turning people into zombies" and "Then, out of no wherhe 10 zombies popped out!" You see what I mean? Still a good idea, though! (:

@LovingStylesAndHoran
14

@Harrylover201
I didn't think it was that sad sorry for making cry and glad your enjoying it :)

i love this it is so sad i even started to tear up

How old are you?





gurl

dang this chapter is f*#% up

@ellena
yeah you can that would be awesome :)

Hei, I'm reading this story.. and I really love it!
I've got an idea: can I translate it in italian, so you could have more and more fans!
Let me know what you think about it ;)

@Emmaaaa
cool

@LovingLife
Awesome I'm at Greece

@Emmaaaa
up in the mountains and aparently my bro started a water ballon fight

@LovingLife
Its going great i have spent loads of money and bought cool stuf and been trying new foods and drinking alcohol (oops since im not old enough) and it is cool where did you go?

@Emmaaaa
it was great thanks, yours?

@LovingLife
Hahaha I am evil you will take I've me shortly since I'm on holiday for 3 more days did you have a good holiday?

AHH! YOU PASSED THREE CHAPTERS COMPARED TO MINE! I SHALL CATCH UP!

@RockerKiki
The next time I will be updating will be next Thursday I think it's kind of hard to update on holiday as I have to find WiFi but if I write I will update as soon as the chapter has bee. wrote :)

Update soon please. :)

I know, it makes it a whole lot better! :)

@iloveonedirection013
Yeah you always need one of those characters to make the story interesting and I'm glad your enjoying it :)

I really don't like Damon, he is an arse but he really cares about Emily, I don't know.... :S love this story so far! :P

@Emmaaaa
lol