Adopted by Louis Tomlinson - Comments

oh yeah. ok maybe.

@Malina Tomlinson
I said Meria not Drew Marie. Meria you know the one wgo fancies Luke.

Too late. She is with harry. So ha

I totally want Meria and Niall to get together.

@Elizebeth horan 12345

You can start anytime you want Love.

Both you can write on it anytime

@Malina Tomlinson
So is it my story and yours or just mine

Great

@Malina Tomlinson
K

@Elizebeth horan 12345

Please message me so we can talk about it more

@Mrs. Michael Hood

Thank u love

I can be your co author

love this story!! I wish I could co-author it but I'm very busy. Well i might have time during my break but thats pretty much it. Anyways love the story!

wow um how old are you? and I don't think I really want to finish the story now. I don't want it to be a Cute story I want it to be GOOD, Great even. but never cute.

It's a really cute story so far, it reminds me of a lot of my older stories from about 15 years ago and brings back memories. Your detail is really good, you actually have much better detail then I did back when and that's a great quality to have, it is helpful in painting a picture for the reader and you did that. Some of the dialogue was funny I'm not sure if you meant some of it to be or not but it gave me a laugh and the story so far is good. Some sentencing structures use double words like the first chapter, the first chapter when she answered the man a second time in the one sentence you used voice twice, if you take out the voice at the end you'll have much better structure. with it, now the school chapter I noticed you put slepaly instead of sleepily and on the argument chapter you had honk from Malibu instead of hunk from Malibu (it was a typo that gave me a little chuckle) but other than a few minor of those things it was cute and a story you should continue writing :-) I'd say if you're concerned about typos to get a beta reader and if you're not and just have fun with writing, don't worry about it and have fun but I did promise to read it and it's something that you seem to have a lot of fun writing :-) as long as you are having fun that's what counts. Continue with it for sure

ok well i'm going to add chapter 15 -19 now. so yeah

@Malina Tomlinson
Nope, i love it how it is

@Diehard_Directioner

Do you have anything that you want me to add

@Diehard_Directioner

Good. I'm glad

@Malina Tomlinson
I LOVE the story so far!!