If you only knew....(Larry Stylinson) - Comments, page 2

please update

I love this story so much please update

I love your story! I'm.just gonna give you one piece of advice about dialogue though.
"Can I help you?" he asks.
In the deepest voice I can muster I say "Um.. yes I'd like a green tea."
"Okay Louis" Dang it didn't work. He looks up and smiles
"Aw Man, How'd you know it was me?"
He just smiles and shakes his head.
"Oh sorry I'm late though Liam was questioning me like I was in prison."
The receipt prints and he says "Its alright its not like we agreed on a time to meet." He just smiles again.
I don't really know whole to explain it but yah that's just an example of how it's suppose to look for the most part, but the story is amazing :)

@HarryLouisLiamNiallZayn
Thanks for understanding. I hope I didn't offend you, just wanted to help.. And, you are a fine writer... just need a little tweaking, that's all. (:

OMFG UPDATE DRAMA LOVING IT

@ZaynandLouis1128

Yeah I usually type this on my iPod but I'll start using my laptop I'll try adding more details but I'm not a very talented writer thanks for the advice:)

Liam don't you dare mess this up

You have a really good idea, but there are some issues.
First, everything is a bit fast... like no detail (You can move the relationship as fast as you want, it's your story!) There is just no detail, so the chapters are short.
Secondly, There isn't enough spacing. I know that if you are writing with a phone ot tablet, it won't let you, but just yeah.
Overall, I love it! So keep up the good work! (:

Love it per-fect

Awe this is CUUUTTEE

I love it!!! Keep updating ppppplllllleeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeeeee!!!

thank yououuu

Hey guys

I love I

Yay you updated thank you!!!!

Updateeeee

Update pleaze