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Just need some friends
@blankspace1
What does music taste have to do with you? O.o my best friend loves country and I think it sounds like ear rape but I still like her. Those girls picking on you for your music taste are being petty...and now you know whether your "friends" are petty or not as well.
Losing grandparents is rough and I had some really screwed up emotions when my grandpa died. I wanted to cry and I really felt bad for my mom and aunt (they were Daddy's girls) but I didn't know if I was allowed to since I never personally knew him. He had extreme Alzheimer's by the time he was 40, let alone at 83. Plus my mom's adopted so that just made it stranger for me. Like how do you cry over someone you're not related to and don't personally know?
Your grandpa sounds like a cool dude though :) most old people seem set in their ways (especially when it comes to music) and for him to make it that far with two different types of cancer just proves what kind of a fighter he was and what kind of fighter you can be too. Wherever he is, he has to be doing better now since I know just as well as you, cancer fucking sucks. I'd recommend lighting a white candle by a window and keeping a selenite crystal close if you're concerned about either your grandpa or friends.
@Call_Me_Godot
Yeah, they were music snobs and they're not my friends anymore. Some of the people I have met on this site are nicer than the people in my life. My closest friend, who I've known since I was 4, doesn't judge anyone for their interests (unless it's really strange and harming shit) so she accepts I'm a fan and still loves me, which is wonderful :)
One of my aunts was my grandfather's favourite daughter so she's the most upset about it because she didn't see him as often as my mother and I did - she lives about 2-3 hours away but she was there when he passed away so at least he got to see her one last time. None of my family is adopted so I can only imagine how strange it felt for you but I do pass on my condolences.
He was pretty cool and I adored him. He was quite obsessed with his money though. He always had to have at least $1,000 in his wallet and his wallet had to be on him at all times, despite never going out of the apartment at all. But I was grateful for his love and I had a lot of sleepovers with my grandparents when I was younger. I remember the last time we listened to One Direction, it was probably about two weeks ago, and we listened to Made In The A.M. and when Walking In The Wind came on, I curled up with my grandfather on his bed and he whispered in my ear "I'm going to miss you." And I just cried buckets. He was a fighter and he fought to the end but he just wanted to go. He wanted to be free and now he is.
Thank you for your kind words. I will use your advice, it's very much appreciated xx
@blankspace1
I CAN be a music snob. Like stuff like Cattle Decapitation is just trash in my opinion and all done for shock value with no real meaning. But on the flip side, I can give credit to things I don't particularly like. I don't like 1D but you can definitely hear a maturity developing in each album, and unlike Motley Crue who I love, 1D's albums don't all sound the same XD
And Grandpa died about ten years ago so I've had plenty of time to recover but thank you :) Mother likes to talk about his love for sneaking in ice cream and chocolate without Grandma noticing (a bad habit since his sweet tooth was why he had fake teeth). I kind of wonder if like, on a subconscious level do people know when they're going to go? My grandpa kissed my grandma on the cheek before she left the nursing home that night and told her he loved her which was a good bye ritual he had practiced in 20 years. And then your grandpa saying "I'll miss you" like he KNOWS what's going to happen...(I actually started crying when I read that part D:) I think in a way people know and when they're ready, they're ready. It's weird but anyone's who's ever had someone leave seems to have a story about it.
I say a white candle because first, you can use it as a memorial thing. Burn a candle for the ones you love and lose but if it's white, supposedly that could attract good vibes :) and he might hang out for a while to see if you're okay (my great grandma did) so something like that could clear the air. And calm me crazy but selenite is supposed to relieve you of stress, anxiety, and negative feelings or dreams if you sleep with it under your pillow and this week I should've been all types of emotional but I've been fairly casual and optimistic about things >.> so if you keep one close to you, it might help you emotionally get through the loss of your grandpa and dealing with shitty people who don't know friends can have differences. Or punching one of them in the face might? :D up to you doll
Side note! So totes just creeped on your profile and realized you did Always :O I read the first chapter when I first saw it up and it's really good. Maybe you could try putting some pent up feelings into writing :D and they'll be extra great because you're still in that weird state where everything's super intense
@Call_Me_Godot
I wasn't a fan of 1D from the beginning. I didn't get into them because of their music. I just watched an interview of them one day and I liked them. They're good sports and they're all great guys with, in my opinion, some great music!
I think my grandfather knew that it was his time to go. I think he felt it. When my mother stayed over at my grandparents' apartment a few nights ago, she told me he was murmuring "Please let me go. I just want to fly." in his sleep. I still haven't recovered from him saying "I'm going to miss you." I don't think I ever will. My pillow will be soaked in tears tonight and I've got to go back to university on Monday, which I don't want to do at this point in time. I won't be able to concentrate but I'll try and do my best to make my grandfather proud :)
I'll definitely light a white candle tonight and I'll use some selenite if I get it. I'm not a violent person so I'm not going to punch anyone, I'll definitely flip 'em off if I see them though :P Thank you for taking the time to talk to me, it means so much! xx
@Call_Me_Godot
That's not creepy, don't worry! I'm glad you like the story. I'm basing the character of Kaylie mostly on me so I will channel my personal thoughts into her chapters :) xx
@blankspace1
Musically speaking, I think Liam's where it's at. If you ever watch their X Factor performances, notice all the focus is on him and the others are just kind of there accentuating him XD he better put out solo work or I'm writing Mr. Payne a strongly worded letter.
I'd be mighty impressed if you did forget about that O.o I don't know how someone could. Whatever happens to us when we die, I'm certain he's in a better place. He has to be. I wish you luck with class though. At worst, ask if you can go to the bathroom at some point and just lock yourself in for a while. Anybody with a brain should understand. I don't think talking fixes things, but it most definitely helps so not a problem :D
@blankspace1
ill be your friends, id be great to have directioner friends... all my other friends hate them... sadly. ;-;
@HarryIsBaeASF1
Thank you! I love to make new friends and I really do need them at this point in my life :') xx
@blankspace1
I'd love to be your friend! ♥ Some people are just so mean, judging you based on what you like. It's a shame. But I don't judge so I would love to be your friend :)
@lovefornarry_jlw
Thank you, sweetie :) To me, they weren't true friends and if I ever see them at parties or something, I just avoid or ignore them because I don't want them in my life if they're going to judge me on what my music tastes are. Yay, another friend! I love making friends :) xx
@blankspace1
I'll be your friend too.
No one should not want to be your friend because of your taste of music that's ridiculous. I love one direction and will tell that to anyone lol there is no shame here. Losing a family memeber is hard and some people take it harder because of how close they were to them (I've lost both of my parents) and it was very hard but, just know he is in a better place watchibg over you giving you blessings.
@leighhhbabyyy
Exactly! I am proud to be a Directioner and if people don't like that, then they can kiss my ass! I was very close to my grandfather, considering I was his only granddaughter, and I miss him terribly. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what that's like, losing both parents. You’re an extremely strong person and I admire your strength. I've made another friend! Welcome to my friendship group, sweetie! :)) xx
@blankspace1
I'm glad to know someone is just as happy to be a directioner as me (I love this website) and I've lost both my parents in different ways - my father died and my mother lost me and my siblings this summer due to her not following court orders and things. So I know how it feels to loose someone so close to you. Just be strong hon. ❤ Lots of love
@leighhhbabyyy
I have made many close friends with authors/readers on this site and it's all because I am a Directioner. I'm so glad to be a member on here and talk to so many beautiful people like you! Oh, I don't think I'd be able to be in your position and be as strong as you are. You have my admiration, sweetie. Be strong too and all the love from me <3 xx
Hey everyone!
If you don't know who I am, that's OK. My name's Olivia and I am a proud young Australian girl who has a happy love for life. But today, my life took a disastrous turn. My beautiful grandfather, who I loved more than anyone, tragically passed away this evening from lung and pancreatic cancer at the age of 96. I'm not looking for pity because I don't want any. I just love talking to people and if people talk to me, I feel like I have friends. Three friends of mine have recently dumped me for other girls I know who I consider bitches and don't treat me very nicely just because I like One Direction. I'm allowed to like whoever I want and they cast me aside simply because I like a boy band and I don't think that's very nice. So I've just pushed them away and clung to my other friends who have promised to be there for me during this troubled time to help me through this grieving process.
I will continue to post chapters in my stories because writing makes me happy and even just thinking about the 1D boys brings a smile to my face :) But don't expect updates as frequently as they used to be because I need to mourn my grandfather and console the rest of my family as well. What makes things even more difficult is that my grandmother has dementia so nothing really sinks in for her. She still doesn't believe he's gone and when they took his body away this evening, she was screaming, shouting for him, telling him to wake up. I was not present during this. I was at the movies, watching the new Star Trek film with a friend, and I got this terrible news via a phone call from my mother when I got out of the cinema. I'm tearing up right now. My grandfather was one of the sweetest men ever. He even listened to One Direction with me sometimes and that just gave me another reason to love him. His favourite songs were You And I, Story Of My Life, Infinity and Olivia and he told me if I ever met any of the 1D boys, to thank them from him for creating such wonderful music that made his only granddaughter happy. Just having to write in the past tense about him makes my heart bleed. I will forever miss him but he lived a good long life. At least he didn't go in pain. He just floated away. When I went to see him yesterday morning, he told me he just wanted to fly away. And that's what he did today. I can't believe he's gone but I hope he's safe, wherever he is, and he's looking down on me from above.
So farewell, my wonderful grandfather. I hope your soul lives in freedom and happiness and you will forever be in my heart. Walking In The Wind has so much more meaning for me now and I know I will find my grandfather in the region of the summer stars one day. I love you, Grandpa, and I already miss you. May your soul rest in peace.
All the love
blankspace1 xx
7/22/16