Journals
Chose What You Believe
Harry’s POV
I smile like a goof at my phone realizing what I just did. I made a date with Dakota. Score! The boys look at me since the only thing on my screen in a text saying she’ll come over. Zayn, Louis, and Niall came back from the mall saying they met Stephanie. Apparently, she’s her boss’ daughter and was stuck babysitting them.
Zayn was practically fuming when he mentioned the way she was treated. I don’t get why Zayn is so protective of her. He barely knows her. I’m the one who read her diary! I know her life! Even though I found out the rude way, I still know her. I may not know the surface details like her favorite color, but still. I know her better than Zayn!
"Harry, what's with the creeper smile?" Liam asks. "You have that freaky smile like a killer. It's freaking me out."
I put my phone away and look at the boys. Well, two of them. Zayn is off sleeping in one of my guest rooms and Niall's in the kitchen looking for snacks. Liam, Louis, and I are in the living room with a movie playing. “I invited Dakota over. Is that okay?”
Liam cringes with a sharp intake of breath. “Uh, I guess.”
“Why are so nervous about Dakota?” Louis asks. “You’ve known her longer than any of us.”
He sighs, “We’ve never really been friends. It’s a little awkward. The only times I talked to her was when I helped her off the ground and told her happy birthday. Not much more. Plus, she never really liked me. She called me pretty boy and told me to stop. She never liked people helping. I'm surprised she hasn't realized that you are. Along with Zayn."
He's right. She was so pissed when I told her I wanted to help. I don't get why people don't want help. It's like she's okay with it all. Call the freaking cops woman! I'm pretty sure she's allowed to call 1-1-2 when she's being raped! (A/N if you didn't already know, 112 is the emergency number over in the UK) Nothing wrong with calling for help.
"Just don't tell her, Liam. She doesn't need to know," I tell him before the doorbell sounds. "That should be her." I stand up from my chair and walk to the door.
I open it to see the same Dakota from this morning. Most girls would change their outfit before going somewhere, but she's still wearing her gray hoodie, jeans, and cream flats. I love how she doesn't wear makeup or bother doing her hair. I still remember how she looked when I first met her. Oversized tee, jeans, and UGGS.
"Hey Dakota," I smile and bring her into a hug. I'm a hugger as you can tell. Especially when it comes to pretty girls like her. I liked it when I held her during the movie. I like it even more when I purposely hold her. Though the feeling might not be mutual. Hesitantly, she hugs me back and awkwardly pats my back.
"Hi Harry," She says and pulls away.
I step aside and let her in. "Uh, there's Lou and Liam. Niall's in the kitchen and Zayn's napping."
She nods. "Hey guys. Nice to see you again, Louis."
"Nice seeing you too," Louis stands up and hugs her. You can see the confusion written on her face as he rubs her back. Just like with me, she awkwardly pats his back. "Aw. Why don't you want a hug?"
She pulls away from him and inhales deeply. "Not much a hugger. Or any human contact."
"Then don't go near Niall. He loves hugging," Lou warns.
She nods, "Duly noted." Her eyes wander before looking at Liam. She gives a small smile even I haven't seen. Why can't I get her to smile like that? *sigh* One day, I'll make her smile so much her cheeks will hurt. All because of me. I want to make her smile To make her happy. Once she likes me, she'll be happy to no end.
"Um, hi Dakota," Liam smiles slightly. "Nice to see you again."
"Hey Liam. Long time, no see," She smiles. "So what have you been up to? You know, other than the whole One Direction thing."
He shrugs, "Not much. What about you?"
She looks at the ground, "Nothing. Somethings never change."
"Who wants to wake up Zayn or get Niall?" I say to change the subject. That smile disappeared in a moment when discussing her life. I want it back. Even if it's for a moment.
"I'll get Zayn," Liam says. "Be right back."
"I'll get Niall," Dakota volunteers. "Where's the kitchen?" I point down the hall and watch her walk away. I gawk in awe as she walks. It's hard to tell, but she sways her hips a little when she walks. Yes, I watching her down there. It's hard not to. Too bad she covers herself with oversized clothes that hide her figure. I want to see the curves I'll be running my hands against. Hmm. The thoughts that go through my mind.
Dakota's POV
I'm sort of happy to see Liam. He's the one bit of my childhood that was happy. But now that I think about it, my life hasn't really changed. There's still those few that try and the many that make my life hell. I still cut, write in my journal, and cry myself to sleep. I can't believe I haven't ended it yet. I tried when I was about thirteen with an overdose, but nope. The freaking neighbor came to check up on me due to my mum. She took me to the hospital and got them out of my system. I was so close to ending it. I would be so happy if I was done.
I follow the hall down to the kitchen where Niall's singing Never Say Never by that beaver guy. Or is it beiber? Yeah, I'm not that up-to-date with celebs. It’s not that I don’t have the time. I just don’t care. Does it really matter what celebrities do every single minute? No. No it doesn’t. I couldn’t care less what they did. Unless someone dies, don’t bother.
“Niall?” I call out as I open the door. His head is stuck inside the fridge as he sings at the top of his lungs. Once he hears me, his head pops up along with a piece of pizza in his hand. "Um, Harry told me to get you. Everyone's in the living room."
"I'll be out in a sec," He says and brings out a box of pizza. "Wanna help me nuke it?"
I shake my head, "Um, I'm on break. I am taking all chances to not get close to doing anything with food."
He chuckles, "I understand. But do you want a slice?"
I shake my head again, "No thanks. I try not to eat that much."
He scrunches his brows, "Really? Based on what I see, you seem pretty skinny."
"I'm not," I tell her and look down at my covered body. My sweatshirt prevents people from seeing the horror that is my body. I'm not perfect. I don't have a good body. I need to lose weight. Maybe then everyone won't call me fat. All I have to do is eat less. Right?
“C’mon, are you sure you don’t want a bite?” He asks waving a piece of a pizza at me. Don’t be tempted Dakota. Don’t be tempted. “Pizza is delicious.”
“I can’t, Niall. I don’t need anyone else calling me fat,” I tell him.
He puts down the pizza box and walks across the room to me. I cross my arms as he approaches. Great. Another insecurity they know. Perfect. “No matter what anyone says, you are not fat. I can’t see much from what you’re wearing, but you look skinny. A little too skinny if you ask me.”
“But I’m not perfect—”
“Perfect is boring,” He cuts in. “Look Dakota. The five of us all believe you’re beautiful. Don’t let people like Stephanie tell you otherwise.”
I sigh and hug my elbows, “I’m not beautiful. Alright? I’m ugly. I have weird stringy hair, pale as a ghost, hollow cheeks—”
“All of which Harry loves,” Niall says. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. Did he say Harry? “Look, Harry wanted to help you because he thought you were having a hard time. Then he met you. He thought you were beautiful, alright? I don’t know why people made fun of you, but you are gorgeous.”
Now I’m just angry. No one gets it. No one will! I don’t need people lying to me! I am hideous. Nothing is beautiful about me! Not even my parents thought I was beautiful! “Don’t lie Niall. I am not beautiful.”
“Yes, you are!” He yells.
“No, I’m not!” I yell back.
“Yes, you are!”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“No. I. Am. Not!” I scream and run to the sink. I splash water on my face and wipe off the makeup. Then I take off my sweatshirt and wipe off that makeup. “Is this beautiful?!” I screech. His eyes widen when he sees my bruises along my arms, face, and neck. Then on my wrists, the cut marks are clear. I. Am. Not Beautiful. I am a mess. “This is why they made fun of me! I’m fat, bruised, and abused. I cut and tried to kill myself. No one thinks I’m beautiful.”
I pull my sweatshirt and storm out the door. I need to get out of here. Just to be alone. I don’t need these boys. I’ve been alone for a long time. I don’t need them. I don’t need anybody. Especially ones that lie. I hate them.
“Hey, Dakota,” Zayn says when I enter the living room. “What was with all the yelling?”
I ignore him and slam the door behind me. I know exactly where to go. Just to get away for a night. That’s all I need. I start up my car and drive away. Back to the cafe, I guess.
I smile like a goof at my phone realizing what I just did. I made a date with Dakota. Score! The boys look at me since the only thing on my screen in a text saying she’ll come over. Zayn, Louis, and Niall came back from the mall saying they met Stephanie. Apparently, she’s her boss’ daughter and was stuck babysitting them.
Zayn was practically fuming when he mentioned the way she was treated. I don’t get why Zayn is so protective of her. He barely knows her. I’m the one who read her diary! I know her life! Even though I found out the rude way, I still know her. I may not know the surface details like her favorite color, but still. I know her better than Zayn!
"Harry, what's with the creeper smile?" Liam asks. "You have that freaky smile like a killer. It's freaking me out."
I put my phone away and look at the boys. Well, two of them. Zayn is off sleeping in one of my guest rooms and Niall's in the kitchen looking for snacks. Liam, Louis, and I are in the living room with a movie playing. “I invited Dakota over. Is that okay?”
Liam cringes with a sharp intake of breath. “Uh, I guess.”
“Why are so nervous about Dakota?” Louis asks. “You’ve known her longer than any of us.”
He sighs, “We’ve never really been friends. It’s a little awkward. The only times I talked to her was when I helped her off the ground and told her happy birthday. Not much more. Plus, she never really liked me. She called me pretty boy and told me to stop. She never liked people helping. I'm surprised she hasn't realized that you are. Along with Zayn."
He's right. She was so pissed when I told her I wanted to help. I don't get why people don't want help. It's like she's okay with it all. Call the freaking cops woman! I'm pretty sure she's allowed to call 1-1-2 when she's being raped! (A/N if you didn't already know, 112 is the emergency number over in the UK) Nothing wrong with calling for help.
"Just don't tell her, Liam. She doesn't need to know," I tell him before the doorbell sounds. "That should be her." I stand up from my chair and walk to the door.
I open it to see the same Dakota from this morning. Most girls would change their outfit before going somewhere, but she's still wearing her gray hoodie, jeans, and cream flats. I love how she doesn't wear makeup or bother doing her hair. I still remember how she looked when I first met her. Oversized tee, jeans, and UGGS.
"Hey Dakota," I smile and bring her into a hug. I'm a hugger as you can tell. Especially when it comes to pretty girls like her. I liked it when I held her during the movie. I like it even more when I purposely hold her. Though the feeling might not be mutual. Hesitantly, she hugs me back and awkwardly pats my back.
"Hi Harry," She says and pulls away.
I step aside and let her in. "Uh, there's Lou and Liam. Niall's in the kitchen and Zayn's napping."
She nods. "Hey guys. Nice to see you again, Louis."
"Nice seeing you too," Louis stands up and hugs her. You can see the confusion written on her face as he rubs her back. Just like with me, she awkwardly pats his back. "Aw. Why don't you want a hug?"
She pulls away from him and inhales deeply. "Not much a hugger. Or any human contact."
"Then don't go near Niall. He loves hugging," Lou warns.
She nods, "Duly noted." Her eyes wander before looking at Liam. She gives a small smile even I haven't seen. Why can't I get her to smile like that? *sigh* One day, I'll make her smile so much her cheeks will hurt. All because of me. I want to make her smile To make her happy. Once she likes me, she'll be happy to no end.
"Um, hi Dakota," Liam smiles slightly. "Nice to see you again."
"Hey Liam. Long time, no see," She smiles. "So what have you been up to? You know, other than the whole One Direction thing."
He shrugs, "Not much. What about you?"
She looks at the ground, "Nothing. Somethings never change."
"Who wants to wake up Zayn or get Niall?" I say to change the subject. That smile disappeared in a moment when discussing her life. I want it back. Even if it's for a moment.
"I'll get Zayn," Liam says. "Be right back."
"I'll get Niall," Dakota volunteers. "Where's the kitchen?" I point down the hall and watch her walk away. I gawk in awe as she walks. It's hard to tell, but she sways her hips a little when she walks. Yes, I watching her down there. It's hard not to. Too bad she covers herself with oversized clothes that hide her figure. I want to see the curves I'll be running my hands against. Hmm. The thoughts that go through my mind.
Dakota's POV
I'm sort of happy to see Liam. He's the one bit of my childhood that was happy. But now that I think about it, my life hasn't really changed. There's still those few that try and the many that make my life hell. I still cut, write in my journal, and cry myself to sleep. I can't believe I haven't ended it yet. I tried when I was about thirteen with an overdose, but nope. The freaking neighbor came to check up on me due to my mum. She took me to the hospital and got them out of my system. I was so close to ending it. I would be so happy if I was done.
I follow the hall down to the kitchen where Niall's singing Never Say Never by that beaver guy. Or is it beiber? Yeah, I'm not that up-to-date with celebs. It’s not that I don’t have the time. I just don’t care. Does it really matter what celebrities do every single minute? No. No it doesn’t. I couldn’t care less what they did. Unless someone dies, don’t bother.
“Niall?” I call out as I open the door. His head is stuck inside the fridge as he sings at the top of his lungs. Once he hears me, his head pops up along with a piece of pizza in his hand. "Um, Harry told me to get you. Everyone's in the living room."
"I'll be out in a sec," He says and brings out a box of pizza. "Wanna help me nuke it?"
I shake my head, "Um, I'm on break. I am taking all chances to not get close to doing anything with food."
He chuckles, "I understand. But do you want a slice?"
I shake my head again, "No thanks. I try not to eat that much."
He scrunches his brows, "Really? Based on what I see, you seem pretty skinny."
"I'm not," I tell her and look down at my covered body. My sweatshirt prevents people from seeing the horror that is my body. I'm not perfect. I don't have a good body. I need to lose weight. Maybe then everyone won't call me fat. All I have to do is eat less. Right?
“C’mon, are you sure you don’t want a bite?” He asks waving a piece of a pizza at me. Don’t be tempted Dakota. Don’t be tempted. “Pizza is delicious.”
“I can’t, Niall. I don’t need anyone else calling me fat,” I tell him.
He puts down the pizza box and walks across the room to me. I cross my arms as he approaches. Great. Another insecurity they know. Perfect. “No matter what anyone says, you are not fat. I can’t see much from what you’re wearing, but you look skinny. A little too skinny if you ask me.”
“But I’m not perfect—”
“Perfect is boring,” He cuts in. “Look Dakota. The five of us all believe you’re beautiful. Don’t let people like Stephanie tell you otherwise.”
I sigh and hug my elbows, “I’m not beautiful. Alright? I’m ugly. I have weird stringy hair, pale as a ghost, hollow cheeks—”
“All of which Harry loves,” Niall says. I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. Did he say Harry? “Look, Harry wanted to help you because he thought you were having a hard time. Then he met you. He thought you were beautiful, alright? I don’t know why people made fun of you, but you are gorgeous.”
Now I’m just angry. No one gets it. No one will! I don’t need people lying to me! I am hideous. Nothing is beautiful about me! Not even my parents thought I was beautiful! “Don’t lie Niall. I am not beautiful.”
“Yes, you are!” He yells.
“No, I’m not!” I yell back.
“Yes, you are!”
“No, I’m not!”
“Yes, you are!”
“No. I. Am. Not!” I scream and run to the sink. I splash water on my face and wipe off the makeup. Then I take off my sweatshirt and wipe off that makeup. “Is this beautiful?!” I screech. His eyes widen when he sees my bruises along my arms, face, and neck. Then on my wrists, the cut marks are clear. I. Am. Not Beautiful. I am a mess. “This is why they made fun of me! I’m fat, bruised, and abused. I cut and tried to kill myself. No one thinks I’m beautiful.”
I pull my sweatshirt and storm out the door. I need to get out of here. Just to be alone. I don’t need these boys. I’ve been alone for a long time. I don’t need them. I don’t need anybody. Especially ones that lie. I hate them.
“Hey, Dakota,” Zayn says when I enter the living room. “What was with all the yelling?”
I ignore him and slam the door behind me. I know exactly where to go. Just to get away for a night. That’s all I need. I start up my car and drive away. Back to the cafe, I guess.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13