Journals
Love in the Air
Harry's POV
My last day with Dakota. These two weeks have gone by quickly and I soon have to say goodbye to Dakota. Our moments laughing the day away together have come to an end. Now I have to start packing and say bye for four months. FOUR months. I can handle one, maybe two, three would leave me in depression. Four is going to kill me. Hopefully not Dakota.
These months are going to kill me. I’ve never been this attached to anyone. Especially not someone so fragile. The fans can do so much to her that my parents can’t fix. I swear, if the so-called ‘Directioners’ make her cut again, I will just leave tour. Our ‘fans’ are supportive about everything, but our girlfriends, family, and sometimes origins. The things that makes us who we are. Dakota is my sanity. They take that and I’ll just be another pop star in a boy band.
Dakota helps me pack my bags with sadness clear in her eyes. We both knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I was really hoping for later though. I don’t want her to be alone, even if she’s with my parents. It would kill me to know she started self-harm again just because of the dumb fans. Not all of the fans ship Harota, which means they are haters. She just has to focus on the people who support us.
After all my stuff is packed, Dakota gets lunch ready. I stay in my room with my surprise for Dakota. I can't wait to give her it. Something so she won't doubt me. A lot of girls want me to cheat on Dakota so we will break up, but that's not happening. I’d rather die than hurt Dakota. Sorry if that breaks your heart Directioners.
I hide the surprise back in the spot and walk downstairs to meet her. Her back is to me as she places something in the oven. I could surprise her, but I don’t want her to burn herself. I wait for her to close the oven to bring her into an embrace from the back. She giggles and places her hands on mine. I look down at her dainty hands on top of mine. My is like double hers. It’s adorable.
She sighs, “I’m going to miss this.” She turns in my arms to hugs my torso. I rest my chin on her head and rub her back.
“It’s only four months,” I remind her. “Not forever.” Though it feels like it. I kiss the top of her head before pulling away. “Let’s go to the living room as we wait.” I hold her hand as we walk to the sofa. I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. “What do you want to do today?” I ask looking into her sorrowful eyes. I would do anything to see them sparkle again.
“I just want to be here with you,” She sighs and lays her head on my chest. “Can we finish watching that movie we started four weeks ago?" Movie? What is she—
To break the tension, I ask if she wants to watch a movie. "Um, sure. I love horror movies. Got any?"
I shrug, “I think. Don’t make fun of me, but I usually watch romance movies.” She giggles softly which makes me blush. “I said don’t make fun of me,” I whine.
“You said to not make fun of you. Never said I couldn’t laugh,” She says as I search through the movies. "But seriously? Chick flicks? Those are so stupid."
I gasp, "They are not stupid." I smirk and grab Love Actually just to prove her wrong. "We are watching my movie then."
She groans, “Nooo!” I slide in the disk and sit down next to you. “Romance movies suck!”
A laugh escapes my lips when she lays down. Her head is on my lap while she faces the screen, “How much do you want to bet that you’re going to love this movie?”
She shakes her head, “I am not going to like this movie, but fine. If I like this movie, we’ll watch my choice of horror movie.”
I chuckle, “And if you like it, you’ll go on a date with me.”
She raises her brows, but sticks her hand out. “Deal. But I won’t like it. I hope you like Paranormal Activity 4 because that’s what we’re watching later.” I shake her hand and press play.
I remember, she had to go to work to we never finished. That was one of my first attempts to get her to go on a date with me. We were snuggled on the couch and acted like a couple. The memory brings a smile on my face. “I’d love to.” I set her down on the couch and walk to the cabinet. I haven’t watched a movie in a while so the half open case is still on the shelf laying down. “I actually forgot about that movie.”
She laughs as I slide in the disk. “I forgot too up until a couple days ago. You were even nice to me when I didn’t want it. Why didn’t I fall for you faster?” She asks mostly to herself. I laugh and sit down next to her.
“I asked myself that for the first week I met you,” I tell her and kiss her cheek.
Dakota’s POV
The next day, we had to wake up earlier than usual and get everything ready. I really don’t want him to leave, but I know he has to. He was going to have to sooner or later. I can’t keep him from what he loves. If he took away my journals, I would go into depression. I can’t take his singing career from him.
I make his favorite pancake while he puts his luggage in the car. His parents are driving us there since they know he’d prefer to focus on anything, but the road. When the pancakes are done I put them on four plates since Gemma has already left. I set the table and get everyone inside.
After breakfast, we start the drive to the airport. Harry and I stay cuddled in the back seat the whole way there. I don’t want to let go when we get there. It means I’m not going to see him for months and I don’t want that to happen. I sigh as I help take one of his bags as he takes the others.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” I sigh after we enter the airport. After we go through metal detectors and mounds of fans, we sit in the chairs waiting for the others. Zayn and Louis invited their girlfriends so I can have some friends that are girls. I hope Zayn explained how I’m afraid of girls. Stupid fear, I know.
“I wish I could bring you, but we know that’s a disaster waiting to happen," He sighs rubbing my shoulder with the arm slung around my shoulder. I can't help, but agree. All of the fans would hate me and the mobs would give me a heart attack. The odds are really playing against me.
My head nuzzles into the crook of his neck and my eyes close. I enjoy the warmth that radiates off of him. I'm gonna miss him. "Why can't life ever be fair to me? It's like it hates me."
He sighs, "Right now, it hates me too." He rests his chin on my head and hugs me tighter. "I have something I want to give you." I pull my head away and look him in the eyes. He smiles and pulls away to grab something in his pocket.
"Harry!"
I look up and see Niall and Liam walking towards us. Harry groans and leans back in his seat. I giggle and peck his lips. "Hello boys," I greet them with a slight smile. Niall sits down next to me and Liam sits down next to him. "Get through the mob okay?"
Niall shrugs, "You tell me. I came here wearing a jacket, button up, and a hat." I laugh seeing that he's not wearing any of those. He has a tank top, shorts, and sneakers. "And Liam came with a jacket and a watch." I look over to him and smile. He has neither of those. "At least we're alive."
"Harry had to carry me since I had a mini panic attack," I shrug.
"Speaking of Harry," Niall leans over and jabs him in the stomach. He grunts and jerks up. "Making sure you're not dead."
"Hello to you too, Niall," He laughs and pulls me towards him. "Any idea where Louis and Zayn are?"
Liam shrugs, "Should be with their girlfriends. They're trying to explain to Eleanor and Perrie our situation." His gaze meets mine for a second before he wanders. The only thing I could see in his eyes was sympathy. The same look the few people who find out about me give. I've always hated that look.
"It's okay to say it, Liam," I explain. "It's fine. I know I'm different. I'm actually glad they're telling them. If someone I didn't know just ran to me and gave me a hug, I'd be having a panic attack that is so bad, Harry would have to take me to the hospital."
He chuckles and leans back in his seat. We spend the next few minutes in silence until Louis and a girl I suppose is Eleanor. I smile at Louis and wave. "Hey Kota!" He yells when he reaches me.
"Kota?" The three lads question.
"That's my nickname for her," He explains and puts his luggage down. "Now give me a hug." He holds out his arms and waits for me to stand. I scoff and give him a hug. It took me forever, but I'm finally okay with the lads hugging me. I pull away and sit back down with Harry. He pulls me to his side and kisses my cheek. I blush and rest my head on his shoulder.
"Awe," Eleanor cooes. "Is Harry Styles smiling?"
I look back at him and he rolls his eyes, "Nice to see you again, El. And yes, I am smiling. I found someone worth it." He directly in my eyes as he says that. He pecks my lips making me giggle. "I'm going to miss that."
I look back to the girl and slightly smile, "Hi. I'm Dakota."
She smiles just like Louis. Bright enough to outshine the stars. "I'm Eleanor. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you especially because I got lectured about it for the whole ride here." She glances a sheepishly smiling Louis. "He won't go into detail, but I can't hug you, ask personal questions, or have any unauthorized physical contact. I won't ask, but it's a little heavy."
I laugh awkwardly, "I can actually get a panic attack if someone I don't know hugs me." She makes that 'it-all-makes-sense-now' face. "I'm not exactly comfortable around new people."
She nods and takes a seat across from me with Louis in front of Harry. "How'd you adjust to the boys then?" She asks.
"A lot of panicking and mental breakdowns," I sigh and lean against Harry.
"You weren't that bad," Harry says and I roll my eyes.
Niall speaks up, "Speak for yourself. You're not the one she lashed out at and then almost got a beating from you!" I furrow my eyes at Harry at the last part. "You thought I did something to her and her wanted to kill me."
He smiles awkwardly and shrugs, "I didn't want to scare you off and I thought Niall ruined my chances." I roll my eyes again and sigh. "Did I ever tell you have beautiful you look?" I scoff and peck his lips. "I have a bad temper sometimes."
"I know," I tell him. "And it's okay." He smiles and kisses the top of my head.
"Is Harry Styles smiling?" I look up to see Zayn with a purple haired girl I assume is Perrie. Harry groans and pulls me tighter to him like a teddy bear.
"Hello Zayn," I wave with my free hand. "I would hug you, but, as you can see, I'm held up." I look over to the girl and try to smile without it being awkward. "You must be Perrie."
"You must be Dakota," She smiles widely. Okay, now I feel awkward. "The girl that has Harry wrapped around his finger." He grumbles in disagreement. "I'm just glad he's happy."
They sit down across from Niall and Liam and try to spark a conversation with me. Key word: try. I still do not like girls. "So Dakota, how old are you?" Eleanor asks.
"Seventeen," I respond and play with Harry's fingers. "I turn eighteen in September."
"We get together," Perrie proposes. "When's your birthday?"
I think about that. Never once had I celebrated my birthday. No one ever cared so why celebrate? So what I'm around another year? No one wanted me around. "I don't remember. I don't celebrate my birthday." They look at me wide-eyed as do the boys. Except for Liam. The fact that no decorations ever hung outside my house gave it away. Hell, I never celebrated Christmas. "I never celebrated any kind holiday. Liam, do you remember when my birthday is?"
"I think it's September fifth," He says. "I remember telling myself to at least say Happy Birthday." I smile thinking of that. Him and two girls would be nice to me time to time.
"Flight 154 to Tampa, Florida now boarding," the lady announces over the speakers. “Flight 154 to Tampa, Florida now boarding,” She repeats the boys’ flight number I glance at Harry. It’s time for him to go. He sighs and pulls me tightly against his chest.
“I’m going to miss you,” he mutters and brings me to my feet. I look up into the eyes of the boys who has been helping me for the past month. The vibrant green eyes that has always held love and still does. “I have something to give you,” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out... necklaces. “A little cliche, but I’m with a girl who is far from it.” I laugh and take the black music note from his hand. In the gray of it reads ‘I love you’. I smile back at bring him into a kiss. I feel his beautiful smile hit mine before he pulls away. “Can I put it on you?”
I nod with joyful tears brimming my eyes. “This is so cute, Harry,” I smile and wipe my tears on his shirt.”
“I love you, Dakota,” He murmurs in my hair and rubs his hands up and down my back.
My eyes meet his with tears falling freely. “You’re the first person to ever to say that to me,” I laugh and kiss him again. I can barely hear the girls awe-ing at us when I pull away. Then, I say the words I have never said before.
“I love you too.”
My last day with Dakota. These two weeks have gone by quickly and I soon have to say goodbye to Dakota. Our moments laughing the day away together have come to an end. Now I have to start packing and say bye for four months. FOUR months. I can handle one, maybe two, three would leave me in depression. Four is going to kill me. Hopefully not Dakota.
These months are going to kill me. I’ve never been this attached to anyone. Especially not someone so fragile. The fans can do so much to her that my parents can’t fix. I swear, if the so-called ‘Directioners’ make her cut again, I will just leave tour. Our ‘fans’ are supportive about everything, but our girlfriends, family, and sometimes origins. The things that makes us who we are. Dakota is my sanity. They take that and I’ll just be another pop star in a boy band.
Dakota helps me pack my bags with sadness clear in her eyes. We both knew this was going to happen sooner or later. I was really hoping for later though. I don’t want her to be alone, even if she’s with my parents. It would kill me to know she started self-harm again just because of the dumb fans. Not all of the fans ship Harota, which means they are haters. She just has to focus on the people who support us.
After all my stuff is packed, Dakota gets lunch ready. I stay in my room with my surprise for Dakota. I can't wait to give her it. Something so she won't doubt me. A lot of girls want me to cheat on Dakota so we will break up, but that's not happening. I’d rather die than hurt Dakota. Sorry if that breaks your heart Directioners.
I hide the surprise back in the spot and walk downstairs to meet her. Her back is to me as she places something in the oven. I could surprise her, but I don’t want her to burn herself. I wait for her to close the oven to bring her into an embrace from the back. She giggles and places her hands on mine. I look down at her dainty hands on top of mine. My is like double hers. It’s adorable.
She sighs, “I’m going to miss this.” She turns in my arms to hugs my torso. I rest my chin on her head and rub her back.
“It’s only four months,” I remind her. “Not forever.” Though it feels like it. I kiss the top of her head before pulling away. “Let’s go to the living room as we wait.” I hold her hand as we walk to the sofa. I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. “What do you want to do today?” I ask looking into her sorrowful eyes. I would do anything to see them sparkle again.
“I just want to be here with you,” She sighs and lays her head on my chest. “Can we finish watching that movie we started four weeks ago?" Movie? What is she—
To break the tension, I ask if she wants to watch a movie. "Um, sure. I love horror movies. Got any?"
I shrug, “I think. Don’t make fun of me, but I usually watch romance movies.” She giggles softly which makes me blush. “I said don’t make fun of me,” I whine.
“You said to not make fun of you. Never said I couldn’t laugh,” She says as I search through the movies. "But seriously? Chick flicks? Those are so stupid."
I gasp, "They are not stupid." I smirk and grab Love Actually just to prove her wrong. "We are watching my movie then."
She groans, “Nooo!” I slide in the disk and sit down next to you. “Romance movies suck!”
A laugh escapes my lips when she lays down. Her head is on my lap while she faces the screen, “How much do you want to bet that you’re going to love this movie?”
She shakes her head, “I am not going to like this movie, but fine. If I like this movie, we’ll watch my choice of horror movie.”
I chuckle, “And if you like it, you’ll go on a date with me.”
She raises her brows, but sticks her hand out. “Deal. But I won’t like it. I hope you like Paranormal Activity 4 because that’s what we’re watching later.” I shake her hand and press play.
I remember, she had to go to work to we never finished. That was one of my first attempts to get her to go on a date with me. We were snuggled on the couch and acted like a couple. The memory brings a smile on my face. “I’d love to.” I set her down on the couch and walk to the cabinet. I haven’t watched a movie in a while so the half open case is still on the shelf laying down. “I actually forgot about that movie.”
She laughs as I slide in the disk. “I forgot too up until a couple days ago. You were even nice to me when I didn’t want it. Why didn’t I fall for you faster?” She asks mostly to herself. I laugh and sit down next to her.
“I asked myself that for the first week I met you,” I tell her and kiss her cheek.
Dakota’s POV
The next day, we had to wake up earlier than usual and get everything ready. I really don’t want him to leave, but I know he has to. He was going to have to sooner or later. I can’t keep him from what he loves. If he took away my journals, I would go into depression. I can’t take his singing career from him.
I make his favorite pancake while he puts his luggage in the car. His parents are driving us there since they know he’d prefer to focus on anything, but the road. When the pancakes are done I put them on four plates since Gemma has already left. I set the table and get everyone inside.
After breakfast, we start the drive to the airport. Harry and I stay cuddled in the back seat the whole way there. I don’t want to let go when we get there. It means I’m not going to see him for months and I don’t want that to happen. I sigh as I help take one of his bags as he takes the others.
“I wish you didn’t have to leave,” I sigh after we enter the airport. After we go through metal detectors and mounds of fans, we sit in the chairs waiting for the others. Zayn and Louis invited their girlfriends so I can have some friends that are girls. I hope Zayn explained how I’m afraid of girls. Stupid fear, I know.
“I wish I could bring you, but we know that’s a disaster waiting to happen," He sighs rubbing my shoulder with the arm slung around my shoulder. I can't help, but agree. All of the fans would hate me and the mobs would give me a heart attack. The odds are really playing against me.
My head nuzzles into the crook of his neck and my eyes close. I enjoy the warmth that radiates off of him. I'm gonna miss him. "Why can't life ever be fair to me? It's like it hates me."
He sighs, "Right now, it hates me too." He rests his chin on my head and hugs me tighter. "I have something I want to give you." I pull my head away and look him in the eyes. He smiles and pulls away to grab something in his pocket.
"Harry!"
I look up and see Niall and Liam walking towards us. Harry groans and leans back in his seat. I giggle and peck his lips. "Hello boys," I greet them with a slight smile. Niall sits down next to me and Liam sits down next to him. "Get through the mob okay?"
Niall shrugs, "You tell me. I came here wearing a jacket, button up, and a hat." I laugh seeing that he's not wearing any of those. He has a tank top, shorts, and sneakers. "And Liam came with a jacket and a watch." I look over to him and smile. He has neither of those. "At least we're alive."
"Harry had to carry me since I had a mini panic attack," I shrug.
"Speaking of Harry," Niall leans over and jabs him in the stomach. He grunts and jerks up. "Making sure you're not dead."
"Hello to you too, Niall," He laughs and pulls me towards him. "Any idea where Louis and Zayn are?"
Liam shrugs, "Should be with their girlfriends. They're trying to explain to Eleanor and Perrie our situation." His gaze meets mine for a second before he wanders. The only thing I could see in his eyes was sympathy. The same look the few people who find out about me give. I've always hated that look.
"It's okay to say it, Liam," I explain. "It's fine. I know I'm different. I'm actually glad they're telling them. If someone I didn't know just ran to me and gave me a hug, I'd be having a panic attack that is so bad, Harry would have to take me to the hospital."
He chuckles and leans back in his seat. We spend the next few minutes in silence until Louis and a girl I suppose is Eleanor. I smile at Louis and wave. "Hey Kota!" He yells when he reaches me.
"Kota?" The three lads question.
"That's my nickname for her," He explains and puts his luggage down. "Now give me a hug." He holds out his arms and waits for me to stand. I scoff and give him a hug. It took me forever, but I'm finally okay with the lads hugging me. I pull away and sit back down with Harry. He pulls me to his side and kisses my cheek. I blush and rest my head on his shoulder.
"Awe," Eleanor cooes. "Is Harry Styles smiling?"
I look back at him and he rolls his eyes, "Nice to see you again, El. And yes, I am smiling. I found someone worth it." He directly in my eyes as he says that. He pecks my lips making me giggle. "I'm going to miss that."
I look back to the girl and slightly smile, "Hi. I'm Dakota."
She smiles just like Louis. Bright enough to outshine the stars. "I'm Eleanor. It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you especially because I got lectured about it for the whole ride here." She glances a sheepishly smiling Louis. "He won't go into detail, but I can't hug you, ask personal questions, or have any unauthorized physical contact. I won't ask, but it's a little heavy."
I laugh awkwardly, "I can actually get a panic attack if someone I don't know hugs me." She makes that 'it-all-makes-sense-now' face. "I'm not exactly comfortable around new people."
She nods and takes a seat across from me with Louis in front of Harry. "How'd you adjust to the boys then?" She asks.
"A lot of panicking and mental breakdowns," I sigh and lean against Harry.
"You weren't that bad," Harry says and I roll my eyes.
Niall speaks up, "Speak for yourself. You're not the one she lashed out at and then almost got a beating from you!" I furrow my eyes at Harry at the last part. "You thought I did something to her and her wanted to kill me."
He smiles awkwardly and shrugs, "I didn't want to scare you off and I thought Niall ruined my chances." I roll my eyes again and sigh. "Did I ever tell you have beautiful you look?" I scoff and peck his lips. "I have a bad temper sometimes."
"I know," I tell him. "And it's okay." He smiles and kisses the top of my head.
"Is Harry Styles smiling?" I look up to see Zayn with a purple haired girl I assume is Perrie. Harry groans and pulls me tighter to him like a teddy bear.
"Hello Zayn," I wave with my free hand. "I would hug you, but, as you can see, I'm held up." I look over to the girl and try to smile without it being awkward. "You must be Perrie."
"You must be Dakota," She smiles widely. Okay, now I feel awkward. "The girl that has Harry wrapped around his finger." He grumbles in disagreement. "I'm just glad he's happy."
They sit down across from Niall and Liam and try to spark a conversation with me. Key word: try. I still do not like girls. "So Dakota, how old are you?" Eleanor asks.
"Seventeen," I respond and play with Harry's fingers. "I turn eighteen in September."
"We get together," Perrie proposes. "When's your birthday?"
I think about that. Never once had I celebrated my birthday. No one ever cared so why celebrate? So what I'm around another year? No one wanted me around. "I don't remember. I don't celebrate my birthday." They look at me wide-eyed as do the boys. Except for Liam. The fact that no decorations ever hung outside my house gave it away. Hell, I never celebrated Christmas. "I never celebrated any kind holiday. Liam, do you remember when my birthday is?"
"I think it's September fifth," He says. "I remember telling myself to at least say Happy Birthday." I smile thinking of that. Him and two girls would be nice to me time to time.
"Flight 154 to Tampa, Florida now boarding," the lady announces over the speakers. “Flight 154 to Tampa, Florida now boarding,” She repeats the boys’ flight number I glance at Harry. It’s time for him to go. He sighs and pulls me tightly against his chest.
“I’m going to miss you,” he mutters and brings me to my feet. I look up into the eyes of the boys who has been helping me for the past month. The vibrant green eyes that has always held love and still does. “I have something to give you,” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out... necklaces. “A little cliche, but I’m with a girl who is far from it.” I laugh and take the black music note from his hand. In the gray of it reads ‘I love you’. I smile back at bring him into a kiss. I feel his beautiful smile hit mine before he pulls away. “Can I put it on you?”
I nod with joyful tears brimming my eyes. “This is so cute, Harry,” I smile and wipe my tears on his shirt.”
“I love you, Dakota,” He murmurs in my hair and rubs his hands up and down my back.
My eyes meet his with tears falling freely. “You’re the first person to ever to say that to me,” I laugh and kiss him again. I can barely hear the girls awe-ing at us when I pull away. Then, I say the words I have never said before.
“I love you too.”
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13