Journals
Broken
Harry's POV
I sit with Dakota for just awhile longer to watch her. Her exposed arms let me see her past self harm. So many pink lines across her wrists, forearms, and biceps. It's going to be impossible to get her to stop. "I love you so much, Dakota." I kiss her cheek and walk back down to my family.
Across the couch is my mum, dad, and sister. My mum and dad talk in hushed voices and kind of sound like scolding. "Hey guys." They stop and look at me with worried eyes. "Dakota's fine. She just doesn't have the best experiences with others."
"Has she done that before?" Mum asks.
I sit on an armchair and shrug, "There's a reason she wears jackets all the time. Look, since I called you so you can take care of her, you should know why she's really shy."
I take a deep intake of breath and start to explain, "Here's how we really met..."
*~*~*~*
"Are sure she's mentally stable?" Robin asks. "I mean, she should go to therapy or a mental-"
"No!" I yell in an instant before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. It's just that, I promised her I wouldn't let anyone take her away from me. The guys and I are all she has. I don't care if we haven't known each other long, but I love her."
"Harry, it's only been a week-" Gemma begins.
"And it took me a second to realize I loved this girl," I interrupt. "You don't get how much she needs me and I need her. Everyone thinks she's too broken. But something broken can always be fixed and that’s something I am going to work on.”
“Harold, are you sure she’s good for you?” Mum asks. “This can be a big affect on your career-”
“I don’t care!” I stand up in frustration. “I will give it up for her! You honestly believe she’s not worth it! You guys walk in here and question us. You two were fine before you saw her in the bathroom. I am in love with her and you can’t change it.”
“Harry, don’t talk to mum like that!” Gemma scolds me and, at this point, I can’t care less what she’s talking about.
“I don’t care!” I repeat. “I invited you to my house and question my girlfriend just because of her past! If she was normal, you wouldn’t have a problem! You’ve always told me to choose someone that made me happy. Dakota does that! I don’t want normal! I want someone different! She is perfect to me!”
“Harold!” Robin yells. “Do not speak to us like that.”
“This is my house!” I yell louder. “I can speak however I want!” I storm up the stairs to Dakota. I want to hold her.
Dakota’s not normal. I know that. I want them to know that too. She has so many imperfections that make her perfect in my eyes. She’s amazing and everything I want. Why couldn’t I have found her sooner? She wouldn’t have been through as much and would’ve had more love. We could’ve been together.
I open the door to her bedroom to find her sitting upright on the side of her bed in pajamas with my paper plane necklace in her hands. I close the door behind me and sit next to her. She responds by leaning on her head on my shoulder and wrapping an arm around me. I wrap mine around her too and kiss her head.
“I’m sorry,” She murmurs. “I caused all of this."
"It's okay," I whisper in her hair. "People just don't understand."
"I heard them question my mental stability," She whispers. "I'm not sane, am I?"
I look down at her, "Compared to Louis, you are." She laughs. "No, you're not exactly sane and neither is anyone else. Even if we don't seem like it, we're all a bit insane." I tell her. "They just happen to be hypocrites that call others insane for admitting something they're too afraid to."
"You're not insane," She says.
I scoff, "I am. I just hide it." She looks up to me and waits for an explanation. "I'm so torn up inside. If you got used to the world, would you get bored of me? If you don't, would you stay around? What will everyone think? They're going to take you away. Everyday, I worry something bad is going to happen. I worry about you and me. Then I worry about fame. I don't want to lose myself and become a puppet. I don't want to fall apart. When I went to the café, it was to clear my mind. It's nearly impossible these days. Then I met you. I felt sane for once and felt like I could do something. You're my sanity, Dakota."
She laughs, "And you're mine. When I met you, I hated Blaine. I hated Stephanie. I hated people. I hated sound. I hated looks. And I hated myself. I wanted to die. At first, I thought you playing a stupid trick, but then you turned out to be really caring. You're the first person to actually care about me and it scares me. I'm scared you'll leave me and I'll be alone again. I don't want to be alone again. I know what it feels like to be loved and I can't go back." She tears up and is soon bawling in my side.
"I will never leave you," I tell her and rub circles on her back. "You are the best thing to happen to me. I can't leave you."
I don't care if she's broken. She could be smashed in a trillion pieces and I'll still be there putting her back together. She's my world. My everything. I don't think anyone has fallen so fast for someone. She's perfection in my eyes. She's beautiful, modest, shy, and perfect.
I take the necklace from her hands and hang it around her neck. She shakes her head and cries even more. I take her wrist in my hand and kiss each little cut. "What are you doing?" She sniffs.
"Counting the times you needed me," I murmur and continue throughout her arms. "You needed me so many times. I wish I knew you when I was younger. I could've helped."
She smiles through the tears and cups my face, "But you're here now." She presses her lips to mine and holds me close. She kisses me with passion and happiness, I can't help, but return it. I hold her cheek in one hand and the other on her waist.
She climbs on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. I want to run my lips down her neck, but she's not ready. She'd freak out. One step at a time. I have to remind myself that. She hums softly and tangles her hand in my hair. I can't believe she's really doing this. Our kisses are usually short and sweet. But I can't argue. I really like this.
Hesitantly, she pulls away, both of us breathing heavily. "Can you stay?" She asks and I nod. I lay down with her in my arms. "Night Harry."
"Goodnight, Dakota," I say and peck her cheek.
I sit with Dakota for just awhile longer to watch her. Her exposed arms let me see her past self harm. So many pink lines across her wrists, forearms, and biceps. It's going to be impossible to get her to stop. "I love you so much, Dakota." I kiss her cheek and walk back down to my family.
Across the couch is my mum, dad, and sister. My mum and dad talk in hushed voices and kind of sound like scolding. "Hey guys." They stop and look at me with worried eyes. "Dakota's fine. She just doesn't have the best experiences with others."
"Has she done that before?" Mum asks.
I sit on an armchair and shrug, "There's a reason she wears jackets all the time. Look, since I called you so you can take care of her, you should know why she's really shy."
I take a deep intake of breath and start to explain, "Here's how we really met..."
*~*~*~*
"Are sure she's mentally stable?" Robin asks. "I mean, she should go to therapy or a mental-"
"No!" I yell in an instant before smiling sheepishly. "Sorry. It's just that, I promised her I wouldn't let anyone take her away from me. The guys and I are all she has. I don't care if we haven't known each other long, but I love her."
"Harry, it's only been a week-" Gemma begins.
"And it took me a second to realize I loved this girl," I interrupt. "You don't get how much she needs me and I need her. Everyone thinks she's too broken. But something broken can always be fixed and that’s something I am going to work on.”
“Harold, are you sure she’s good for you?” Mum asks. “This can be a big affect on your career-”
“I don’t care!” I stand up in frustration. “I will give it up for her! You honestly believe she’s not worth it! You guys walk in here and question us. You two were fine before you saw her in the bathroom. I am in love with her and you can’t change it.”
“Harry, don’t talk to mum like that!” Gemma scolds me and, at this point, I can’t care less what she’s talking about.
“I don’t care!” I repeat. “I invited you to my house and question my girlfriend just because of her past! If she was normal, you wouldn’t have a problem! You’ve always told me to choose someone that made me happy. Dakota does that! I don’t want normal! I want someone different! She is perfect to me!”
“Harold!” Robin yells. “Do not speak to us like that.”
“This is my house!” I yell louder. “I can speak however I want!” I storm up the stairs to Dakota. I want to hold her.
Dakota’s not normal. I know that. I want them to know that too. She has so many imperfections that make her perfect in my eyes. She’s amazing and everything I want. Why couldn’t I have found her sooner? She wouldn’t have been through as much and would’ve had more love. We could’ve been together.
I open the door to her bedroom to find her sitting upright on the side of her bed in pajamas with my paper plane necklace in her hands. I close the door behind me and sit next to her. She responds by leaning on her head on my shoulder and wrapping an arm around me. I wrap mine around her too and kiss her head.
“I’m sorry,” She murmurs. “I caused all of this."
"It's okay," I whisper in her hair. "People just don't understand."
"I heard them question my mental stability," She whispers. "I'm not sane, am I?"
I look down at her, "Compared to Louis, you are." She laughs. "No, you're not exactly sane and neither is anyone else. Even if we don't seem like it, we're all a bit insane." I tell her. "They just happen to be hypocrites that call others insane for admitting something they're too afraid to."
"You're not insane," She says.
I scoff, "I am. I just hide it." She looks up to me and waits for an explanation. "I'm so torn up inside. If you got used to the world, would you get bored of me? If you don't, would you stay around? What will everyone think? They're going to take you away. Everyday, I worry something bad is going to happen. I worry about you and me. Then I worry about fame. I don't want to lose myself and become a puppet. I don't want to fall apart. When I went to the café, it was to clear my mind. It's nearly impossible these days. Then I met you. I felt sane for once and felt like I could do something. You're my sanity, Dakota."
She laughs, "And you're mine. When I met you, I hated Blaine. I hated Stephanie. I hated people. I hated sound. I hated looks. And I hated myself. I wanted to die. At first, I thought you playing a stupid trick, but then you turned out to be really caring. You're the first person to actually care about me and it scares me. I'm scared you'll leave me and I'll be alone again. I don't want to be alone again. I know what it feels like to be loved and I can't go back." She tears up and is soon bawling in my side.
"I will never leave you," I tell her and rub circles on her back. "You are the best thing to happen to me. I can't leave you."
I don't care if she's broken. She could be smashed in a trillion pieces and I'll still be there putting her back together. She's my world. My everything. I don't think anyone has fallen so fast for someone. She's perfection in my eyes. She's beautiful, modest, shy, and perfect.
I take the necklace from her hands and hang it around her neck. She shakes her head and cries even more. I take her wrist in my hand and kiss each little cut. "What are you doing?" She sniffs.
"Counting the times you needed me," I murmur and continue throughout her arms. "You needed me so many times. I wish I knew you when I was younger. I could've helped."
She smiles through the tears and cups my face, "But you're here now." She presses her lips to mine and holds me close. She kisses me with passion and happiness, I can't help, but return it. I hold her cheek in one hand and the other on her waist.
She climbs on my lap and wraps her arms around my neck. I want to run my lips down her neck, but she's not ready. She'd freak out. One step at a time. I have to remind myself that. She hums softly and tangles her hand in my hair. I can't believe she's really doing this. Our kisses are usually short and sweet. But I can't argue. I really like this.
Hesitantly, she pulls away, both of us breathing heavily. "Can you stay?" She asks and I nod. I lay down with her in my arms. "Night Harry."
"Goodnight, Dakota," I say and peck her cheek.
Ah the day after my birthday! Yay! And I probably would read 'A Broken Princess' !!!!!
12/31/13